Not Just a Pirate
Once Upon a Time
Chapter 1: Life Inside the Castle walls
Emma's P.O.V
"Good morning, sweetie." My mother whispers to me while caressing my cheek softly. She has done this since I was born and I've come to enjoy it, my mother is always so gentle, kindhearted and loving. I open my eyes and as I expected my mother is sitting beside me on my bed waiting for me to wake up.
"Good morning, mother." I smile lovingly at her.
"Did you sleep well?" She asks kindly as she does every day.
"I did, how about you mother?" I respond politely.
"Just fine, sweetie." She smiles proudly at me.
"Something going on today?" I ask as I notice her hesitation to tell me something.
"Yes Graham, one of your father's knights, have asked to meet you and your father believes it's a good idea for you to meet him. Your father believes you'd like him." She says with a disapproving look on her face.
"Father want me to marry this man, doesn't he?" I ask, I've always been quite perceptive about these things.
"Yes, he does and for the sake of the kingdom, I'll have to agree with him… But as your mother I absolutely do not agree with this unless you come to care for him by yourself. I don't want you to agree to this unless it's what you want. I want you to choose whom you are to wed and not who your father or I find suitable for you." She clarifies and makes a big deal about letting me know I have a choice.
"Thank you, mother. I'll meet this man and see for myself." I agree out of duty. I want to please my parents and I would certainly not want to disappoint them.
"That's my beautiful girl. Sometimes I forget how much you've grown and I couldn't be prouder of you." She beams happily at me.
"Thank you, mother." I smile back at her.
"I'll leave you to get ready. Take your time." She smiles and I know what that means, she wants me to make something out of my appearance to make a good impression on this knight I am to meet.
"I will, mother." I nod as she gets up from my bed, she caresses my cheek once more to express her love for me and I accept it with a grateful smile.
I watch her leave my room, I take a deep breath and swing my legs over the bed. The floor is the perfect temperature, I walk over to the enormous walk-in closet. I notice right away that there's a dress laid out for me by my maids, properly requested by my mother. I know as I see the dress that she's requesting that I'll wear it. I look at the beautiful long blue grown in front of me and for a moment I appreciate its beauty.
I leave it there for a moment as I walk to the back of the closet, I turn my head to see if I'm alone and when I don't see anyone I open it. I look at the cloths I've collected over the years, it's all pantsuits, that people in our kingdom wear and what I wish I could wear. These pantsuits are what I'd choose to wear if it was my choice. I've only ever left this castle alongside my parents, but I yearn to leave it on my own. I shake my head, I know it's not possible to leave and I know my parents would never allow me to go on my own, they would make be bring guards or something.
I heavily close the closet, while I do I feel as if I close a part of myself once again. I do love the dresses my mother gets for me, but I'm not really a dress girl. I've never been, but my mother doesn't know that and I doubt she ever will. I'm very close with both my mother and my father, but there are parts of me they don't know about. I undress knowing my mother wouldn't want me to waste time. I go back out of the closet and into the bathroom where I take a quick shower, I wash my hair before I get back out of the shower.
I get dressed in the blue dress and just as I've pulled the dress up, my maids knock on the door and I call out for them to come in. My mother sent them up to help me become presentable, they zip up my dress. One of my maids gets started on my hair and the other one begins with makeup, I know they'll transform me into Princess Emma.
…
Sometime later I look into the mirror and what I see is Princess Emma, her hair is up into a beautiful bun and the makeup makes her appear no less than perfect. I don't see any signs of myself in this princess looking back at me, just that, a princess ready to fulfill her duties. One of my maids presents a pair of blue shoes matching my grown, I accept them gratefully and I put them on.
"You're ready, Princess."
"Thank you, Abby." I give her an appreciating smile.
I finally leave my room, I walk down the halls of the castle until I stand in front of the door that'll lead me to the living room. I know they'll be waiting for me here because my parents always make important matters private. They'll be in here with the knight I am to meet today and I feel nowhere near ready to step inside. This room is where I've spend most of my time growing up, there's couches and a lot of books in there which is why I came there. It's in many ways more like a private library than a living room, it's always been safe and cozy, but that's not how I feel right now.
I take a deep breath once again and put on that smile before I walk through the door, the second I enter that room I'm no longer Emma, I'm the princess and that is how I shall appear to everyone including my parents. I see them talking to someone and once I enter they all turn to me, I smile and walk gracefully over to join them.
"Emma." My mother smiles in a greeting.
"Mother." I smile back.
"Emma." My father says with a proud smile on his lips.
"Father." I greet him with a smile and a polite nod.
"I want you to meet Graham, he has fought bravely by my side on a number of times. So, when he requested to meet you I was only too happy to grant his wish." He says and looks at Graham, I notice right away that my father looks at Graham like he was already his son. My father will in some way want me to marry this man because he believes that this man will be the best for me.
"Of course, father." I say politely before I turn to Graham. "It's an honor to meet you." I politely, yet with warmth in my voice.
"The honor is all mine, Princess." He bows in front of me.
"Please, call me Emma." I request warmly. I know this man has saved my father's life and for that he has my deepest respect.
"Emma." He nods followed by a smile. "Would you care to join me for a walk around the grounds?" He asks politely.
"Certainly."
He holds out his arm in an offer to lead me, my parents are beaming at us and my father looks especially hopeful. I allow him to take my arm and lead me out of the room, we walk down the halls and then outside to the garden. There are a lot of garden and it's entirely possible to get lost if you don't know the castle and the grounds as well as I do.
"I've been looking forward to meeting you, Princess." He says as he looks at me, I notice the way he looks at me with warm and kind eyes. I've always been a good judge of character and I know Graham is a good man. My father was right to think that this could be a good husband for me, but for now all I feel for this man is pure friendly feelings.
"I've been looking forward to meet you as well. I've heard a lot of good things about you and I want to express my gratitude to you for saving my father's life."
"Thank you, Princess. Your father is a good man who I have the deepest respect for."
I walk with Graham for about an hours' time and I'm surprised how easy he is to talk to, I'm surprised by how easy it is to care for him. I almost feel guilty when I realize that my feelings for him only extend to gratitude and friendship. I look at him as we walk and I don't deny that he's quite handsome. My father choose well and I never doubted he would, there's no way he could know whether or not I would feel it with him because it's entirely possible. I look at him as he politely kisses my hand and thanks me for walking with him, in this moment I wish I felt it with him. I know without a doubt he would make a great husband, a great king and maybe even a great father. I know I would grow to love him in time, but it would never be the true love my parents share.
I return to the living room with Graham who politely says goodbye to me and my parents, one look at my parents and I know they like him, I get why, but I also know if it was my choice I wouldn't choose him. My father shows Graham out leaving me with my mother, she takes my hand and I sit on the couch with her.
"How did you like him?" She asks hopefully.
"He's a good man, very sweet, I understand why you and father would like me to marry him. I know he would be a great husband." I say choosing my words carefully.
"But?" My mother asks catching my hesitation.
"You've told me about you and father, how you just knew it was right. I didn't feel like that, I wanted to feel it, I just didn't." I admit.
"Do you think you could, in time?" She questions.
"It's possible, but I don't think so." I deny.
"You don't have to decide right now besides he hasn't asked for your hand in marriage yet." My mother assures me, but it's no comfort because I know it's just a matter of time before Graham will ask my father for my hand in marriage and if I am to say no I won't just disappoint Graham, but also my parents.
I excuse myself to get some alone time to think about today and Graham. I know the kingdom needs this reunion since it won't be long until I am to take my parents place and become the queen. I'll be 28 years only in two months' time and by then I should have been married. I have lost hope through the years that I'll ever find true love as my parents did and I do have responsibilities here as the future queen, maybe this is a sacrifice I need to make for the kingdom.
I look out of the window of the castle wondering if this is all there is, am I not meant for anything else than this? Am I supposed to except this as my fate, to serve my kingdom the way my parents told me? I've been to countless balls, weddings, dances here in my kingdom and I've gotten to meet many of our loyal subject who helped my mother back when The Evil Queen tried to kill her. I can't just abandon them just for the sake of my own happiness and I may be happy someday with Graham.
"Emma?" Regina brings me out of my thoughts and I smile at her. She takes a seat beside me on the couch by the window.
"Regina." I smile fondly.
Regina was once The Evil Queen and back then she hated my mother, even wanted her dead, but she changed even she leaned what the price of her revenge would be. She met Robin Hood as she tried to run away from her problems and he truly helped her change. Once I was born Regina and my mother has finally come to an understanding. They began growing closer as I grew up, I have no idea why, but I also became close with her. She moved into this castle with Robin and Robin's son Roland many years ago when I was a few months old. Somehow, it's like she wants to protect me from something only I haven't yet to discover what that would be. Our kingdom hasn't been under any threats we couldn't handle.
"You look troubled." She says sympathetically.
"I am, a little." I admit.
"What happened?" She asks, her eyes are warm and caring. She has become a dear friend despite the obvious age difference.
"I met Graham today, he's one of my father's knights." I tell her.
"I've heard about this. Your parents want you to marry him?" She asks even though I know by the small amount of anger in her eyes that she already knows the answer.
"Yes. My mother told me it was entirely my decision, but I don't feel like it is. I mean Graham he's great and if I were to turn him down my parents would be disappointed, I don't think it would make sense to anyone if I turned him down. He's a good man, Regina, so how can I refuse?" I ask, feeling miserable about it all.
"Emma, I was once forced into an arranged marriage and I was miserable. I don't want that for you, so you have to promise me that you'll say no if that is what you want." She says looking very serious.
"Thanks Regina, I can promise you that no matter what I'll be making the decision." I say once again carefully choosing my words.
"Emma, please don't tell me you're thinking about agreeing to this because it's what your parents wants." She says looking rather worried.
"I am considering it. He's a good man, kind, gentle and I would grow to love him in time. It just wouldn't be real love." I say and I see as her face turns to concern.
"Emma, I swear… You parents raised you too well… You're not even considering what you want here."
"I know."
Regina pulls me in for a hug as she whispers, 'make the right choice for you', I smile at her appreciatively. After we parted ways I went back to my room where I changed into riding clothes, riding always helps me think. I hurry to the stables where Roland and Pinocchio are getting ready to take the horses out, they're both 5 years older than me and they're like my two overprotective older brothers.
The three of us have always been close friends and that never changed over the years, they're my only good friends here. Roland and Pinocchio has become the two people I'm closest to and they're always there for me when I need them. I spend hours with them, first riding and afterwards we spend time talking and grooming the horses. I know I'm not supposed to do the stableboys job, but I don't care I enjoy it and I've discovered how peaceful it feels and how it helps me feel closer to the horses when riding. For a couple of hours, I'm just Emma again, I get break from thoughts and responsibilities for a short while.
…
A month later.
It has been a month since I met Graham and since then I've seen a lot of him, we have spend a lot of time together. We have taken the horses out a few times and that was actually quite nice. I've grown quite fond of him since I first met him. We've gone for a lot of walks and I have to admit, it's nice how he takes such an interest in me and what I have to say, he's always very attentive and wants to hear my thoughts on the subject we're discussing, I enjoy his company a lot.
We have also spend some time reading together and as it turns out we have a few things in common, we enjoy some of the same books. We both enjoy nature and horses, Graham told me he also enjoys traveling and I wouldn't mind having someone how might bring me along. He told me about some of the places he has been and said he'd like to bring me some time, I honestly feel a strong friendship building between us, but I haven't fallen in love with him as I hoped I might.
He has been here a few hours almost every day just to see me and I have no doubt in that he has fallen in love with me. I know the only way to stop him from falling in love with be would be to change my ways and be distant or even unkind, but I can't do that to him. Roland and Pinocchio have had many ideas such as running away, hire an assassin (they were joking) or that I simply push him away, but none of the above seemed appropriate. I love them for cheering me up though, it's good to know I at least have them.
I walk around in the garden when I suddenly see Graham approaching me, I didn't even know he was coming today, but I'm not surprised since he can't seem to stay away for long. I smile friendly at him as he stops in front of me, he looks nervous to be honest.
"Good afternoon, Princess." He bows.
"Graham, how many times must I ask you to call me Emma?" I ask him, smiling because he's still holding on to that formality.
"At least a few more times as usual, Princess."
"I didn't know you'd be coming by today."
"I thought I would surprise you." He says with a soft smile on his lips.
"That's kind of you." I say as I wonder to myself is something going on today.
"I talked to your father yesterday and I asked him for his blessing to ask for your hand in marriage, he told me I had his blessing, so today I'm asking you." He says and my breath gets stuck in my throat, oh no, he's doing this now… I watch him go down on one knee right in front of me. "Emma, I know we haven't know each other long, but I have never been more sure about someone as I have in the short time I've known you. I've enjoyed our time together, it has been the best part of my day for this past month and I want to have that every day for the rest of my life. You're so different from any other woman I've ever met, you're bright, kindhearted and you make a question out of life. I've fallen deeply in love with you." He swallows nervously as he takes a box out of his jacket, he opens the box so I can see the ring. "Emma, will you marry me?" He finally says.
I stand there frozen in place while a ton of different emotions rushes trough me, I knew this would happen eventually, but not yet… I thought I had time to make a decision, but now in this moment I'll have to choose whether or not I want this. My parents take that moment to walk out the door and outside, they know instantly what just happened. I see their hopeful faces and then I look at Graham. He looks scared yet extremely hopeful and suddenly I don't know how to let these people around down, so the next word there comes out of my mouth shocks me.
"Yes." I whisper and almost instantly regret it because now my future is set, now I don't have a choice anymore. Graham smiles brightly and finally gets up, I allow him to put the ring on my finger. He then leans in closer and I do the same hoping, no begging, that I'll feel something as his lips touches mine. I kiss him back for a moment and I almost immediately feel awkward because even though it's nice, it still doesn't make me feel anything beyond friendship. He pulls back and I'm almost relieved. Oh, good god Emma, what have you done? I think to myself as my parents join us in what they believe to be a celebration.
…
The Day Before Emma's 28'th Birthday - The Wedding/coronation day
It has been less than a month since Graham proposed to me and I said yes, when I wake up on my wedding day. Graham and my parents went into planning the wedding pretty quick after I said yes and here we are on the supposedly happiest day of my life, yet I don't feel happy at all.
Graham and I have spend a few hours together every day since I said yes to his hand in marriage, we've even kissed a few times, but nothing more. I've grown fond of him and I might even love him, but it's a friendly love. I'm not over the moon in love with him and I've never felt that with anyone, but he's a good man and I know he'll be a good husband for me, which is part of the reason why I agreed and why I'll stick to my decision.
Today is not just my wedding day, I am also to be crowned queen and I'm terrified. I don't feel ready for this and I don't even know if I truly want this, all my life has been about learning to be the queen, so why do I feel unprepared like I know nothing about it? I've been alongside my parents since I was born, I've watched them rule the kingdom gracefully, so how can I really live up to them? I know I have always had everything you could ever want loving parents, amazing people around me, I live in a castle, I've always had everything I needed and my engagement to Graham is no exception. He's a good, kindhearted man who is head over heels in love with me, so why am I not happy about that? Some people don't even get a choice like I did and some people is to wed someone who they don't even like.
I feel like I'm a spoiled brat for not just being happy on a day like today like I should be, but I just feel like as if something is missing in my life without knowing exactly what it is. I've always been adventurous by nature, but I don't feel like I've ever had a chance to live it. I guess I just thought there was more to life than this, but apparently not for me and I can except that, I'm gonna try to at least.
My parents are both normally against arranged marriages and with the way they met it's understandable, I had to assure them that I like Graham even after I said yes to marry him before they let it go. My mother talked to me about it for weeks to make sure that it was what I wanted, of course she overjoyed, but she's to this day still afraid I said yes out of duty, which I did, I just won't tell her that. Deep down I only agreed because I know how important it is for the kingdom to be reunited once again and because I feel like it's my duty as the future queen.
I look at myself in the mirror and once again I see Princess Emma, her hair is long and set beautifully for the wedding with curls, flowers and even a little glitter. The makeup makes her look perfect and without any flaw, all I can think when I look at the mirror reflection is that this is not a real person. A real person won't look this perfect all the time, like I do every single day when I leave this room. I look down of my body, I'm wearing white lace lingerie that my mother picked out for the wedding night. I look over at the beautiful weeding dress, I run my fingers over the dress admiring it. The dress was my mother's, she got married to my father in this dress and I always hoped that the day I wore it would be when I got married to my one true love, but I know I have to put that dream away the second I walk down the aisle and marry Graham.
My mother walks through the door. "It's time for the dress." She says excitedly. "I've been looking forward to share this day with you almost since you were born." She's almost jumping up and down like a child.
"I know, me too mother." I smile at her finding myself wishing I was as excited as she is.
"You'll look gorgeous in this wedding dress, Graham won't be able to keep his eyes off you." She grins. "I can't believe it, tomorrow you'll wake up on your birthday beside your husband."
"That'll be something, won't it?" I ask her, offering a soft smile.
"I remember clear as day the first day I woke up beside your father, I was so happy and I never wanted to part from him ever again." She smiles goofily and for a moment I admire it, they've been together over 30 years and they're still madly in love. I wish that for myself to find someone I would be madly in love with even after decades together.
"I hope I'll feel as you and father does when I've been married for as long as you have."
"It's all I ever wanted for you." She beams at me.
My maids return into my room and help me put on my wedding dress, once I'm wearing it my maid puts on the veil and I know I'm ready to me married, at least I look ready. I glance at the mirror now that I'm finally wearing my mother's wedding dress, I can't even believe that it's me standing there in that beautiful wedding dress. It's almost time when Regina walks through the door, we're alone for a short while.
"You look beautiful Emma." She compliments.
"Thanks." I smile gratefully.
"You don't look all that happy, why is that?" She asks concerned.
"I am happy." I lie.
"I don't believe that." She looks at me with a disapproving look.
"Alright, I'm not thrilled or excited. I guess I just thought I'd marry my true love when the time came, but that's not Graham. I love him dearly as a friend, but he's not my true love if he was I'd feel it I'm sure." I admit.
"Emma… Why didn't you just say no? If Graham was your true love then yes, you'd feel it. You would be excited to go out of this door in a minute and get married. You would have a hard time waiting in here before it was time, I don't want this fate for you and you can still stop it." She assures me.
"No, my mind is made up." I say.
"Oh Emma… You're too kind. I know you're doing this for everyone else, but that's not how it should be, it should be for you." She says trying to change my mind.
"Thank you for always being here for me." I whisper changing the subject.
"Listen, if you change your mind out there then just say the word and I'll stop the wedding." She promises.
"Thanks." I giggle.
"Any time." She smiles. "And Emma." She says as she's about to walk out, I turn my head to look at her. "Roland and Pinocchio told me to say hi. They also told me to tell you that if you want out of this, then make the secret signal and they'll also stop the wedding." She adds with a grinning smile.
"Of course, they would, tell them thanks." I grin, it's their thing to find ways to make me smile when I'm down.
…
I know it's time when my mother and father walks through the door. My father gets all sentimental seeing me wearing my mother's dress and it takes him a moment to wrap his head about it. It makes me smile because I've always loved my father very much and seeing him proud means a lot. I look at my mother who has tears in her very proud eyes. I'm ready, I can do this or at least that's what I'm telling myself as I follow them to the top of the stairs. Everyone including Graham will be at the end of these stairs in the ball room waiting for us to be introduced. I know it's happening when I hear Grumpy's loud voice.
"Introducing King David, Queen Snow White and the Queen to be, Princess Emma." Grumpy announces as I walk down the stairs alongside my parents. "And for the first time, the King to be, Sir Graham." He adds.
My eyes land on Graham as I walk down the stairs, he looks at me with such love that it instantly makes me feel guilty for not feeling as passionately about him. He's waiting for me at the end of the stairs, waiting to marry me. I link arms with Graham and we walk together behind my parents up the aisle until we react the spot we're to be married and take over the kingdom as king and queen.
I sneak a look at Graham, he's smiling brightly at me in a way that should make me dizzy and it makes me hope that someday, I will. I smile back at him and he squeezes my hand for courage. I look to my parents, they look overjoyed and very proud.
The ceremony is about to begin when suddenly all light goes out, and an evil laughter is the only thing to be heard…
A/N:
Here's the official first chapter.
Enjoy and please share your thoughts :)
Next chapter will be up in about a week or two :)
- Until next time :)