Chapter 1: Who the hell am I (PART I)
Hello. This is Mitsuki. And, no. For your safety, please do not ever, as in ever, call me Yukiharu. I want to detach myself including my name from the crazy people who possibly blessed the world with an idiot being like me.
Let me show you an entry from my backfire diary. I don't easily trust anyone. I RARELY trust someone, BUT! The annoying author of this story personally knelt down on her bloody knees for me to give her access to one entry, XXXXand because I love
Anyway, here you go.
Fail. Fail. Fail! FAIL! FAIL! FAAIILLL!
Why is it that the only word teachers know how to say is "FAIL"? Why is the world being mean to me? Why was I born in this body? Why was I born to be their child? Can I not be as normal as others can be? Can I not be someone who I want to be? I want to be free! I want to be alone and do whatever I want, wherever I want!
It's hard being in this state. I know, I know. Many kids would want to be in my position. Many want servants bowing to them every time they enter a place, being able to eat anything you want, being able to get all the clothes you want, all the gadgets and money and ice cream you want. Many want to have thousands of gifts, a grand party, a humongous cake, a pretty and sparkly princess gown, the whole world celebrating their birthday with them. But me? NO! I can say that I liked it too but that was for the first three freaking years of my life.
What's the use of eating everything you want in anytime you want when all you face is food and food alone? I want a mom to talk to after school, during dinner. I want a dad to go to the park with, every weekend when there are no assignments. I don't need any luxury, I just want a normal family.
But every time I try to ask for such simple things, ever since I turned three, they keep giving me inanimate objects which give me more guilt instead of happiness. Why can't I be normal? Should I start with that plan now? Do you think you can do it?
Yes. You can do it. You can do it!
It was rather peaceful for some moments, with the blanket's warmth hugging my whole body, I could snuggle in the same position for days without getting uncomfortable. That was, until a warmer, bright light shone directly on my closed eyelids, blinding me with the light that my eyes were not accustomed to at that time. It was morning already.
I would love it when one day, I would wake up with the sound of my alarm clock (or a chicken, which is better in my opinion), and I would be trying to shut it up but failing. When one day, I would stand up and trip on my way to the bathroom. When one day, I would feel that feeling when you forgot to take a towel with you inside the shower and you'd have to run to the other side of your room, feeling the cold breeze, just to get your towel… I would love to try those one day.
But then again, those only happen in my dreams, because, every single day of my life, I have to wake up with a bunch of maids rushing inside and cleaning my room as soon as I sit up from lying down. I would have three maids asking me the same annoying question, "Would you prefer bubbles, milk or roses, young lady?"
And I would always be, "Bubbles, please." which for the ten thousandth time I have said so, should be carved in their minds that I do not ever wish to change such preference in such question.
Today is not so different from the other days.
They would walk away towards my bathroom and a young man (a butler) would be standing beside my bed, blabbering "We will serve your breakfast in ten minutes. Shall we proceed downstairs, young lady?" for the nth time. And me, as if instinctively, would stand up, wear my bunny slippers, and walk towards the door.
Through the hallways, he would be followed by some more maids, and he would be saying stuff like, "Today's chef is [INSERT NAME HERE]. He has prepared [INSERT DISH NAMES HERE] served with the usual hot chocolate and marshmallows from [INSERT COUNTRY NAME HERE]. Would you like to change the serving for today's breakfast?"
And of course, I would either answer, "Nup. Is okay." or not answer at all.
When I reach the dining hall, before I was like, "Where's mom and dad," but I grew tired of asking the same question and receiving the same answer so I stopped bothering years ago.
I sat down on my usual chair, facing a number of utensils already prepared, and immediately another man, old this time, came to me and whispered about dad being busy and mom being out-of-the-country. AGAIN.
The maids would come rushing in and serve me the food by that time and I would just stare at the food and eat afterwards. Of course, as a sign of gratitude, I would try to eat it all.
This time, I wanted something else.
"Hey." They all leaned a little towards my direction. "Can you guys gimme the dessert first? I'm like, craving for coffee jelly and milk." The butler nodded and clapped his hands.
The maids earlier came rushing back in and takes away the food they just prepared. I'm sorry girls. I just wanna eat coffee jelly like seriously, right now. Then after some seconds, a small dessert cup was served in front of me, as I ate the coffee jelly.
I ate the coffee jelly and nodded at my butler, which in this case, he understood as, "Let out the beasts!" or in other words, "You can serve the main dishes now." The maids, once again, rushed towards my plate, changed the utensils into new ones, and served once again the food they had taken away some moments ago.
But then, I found myself looking at this certain maid, carrying my soup, looking at her feet going wobbly to the left and cross to right and again. Then I saw her bangs bouncing with her swishing here and there, her clip hanging on to the little hair it can hold on to. And when she finally, and safely, placed the container on my plate, I glanced at her looking nervous and flustered.
"Hey." Her eyes sharply turn towards me and turn away again. She bows her head slightly. "Nice hairclip." I commented. She quickly got her hands on the clip and was about to remove it when, "Nonononono!" I extended mine and stopped hers. She looked at me and removed her hands. The maid was shaking. Why is she so nervous? "I said it was nice. I didn't say you remove it." I heard her whisper a small apology. I let go of her hair carefully and got back in my usual position. Before they bowed and flee away from my vision, "You." They paused.
"Y-yes… Young Lady?" I heard her say in response.
"You new huh?"
"Yes…" It took her a while to continue, "…Young Lady."
"Uh-huh." I crossed my arms and put on an angry face. She looked intimidated and bowed more. "You know," I softened my features and tone. "It will be harder through the days because of the demanding chores my crazy mother and father gives you. And if ever they say something that hurt you. You just have to approach me."
She sighed. "Thank you, young Lady." And they headed back to where they're supposed to be.
'Is she really saying the truth? That I can tell her?'
'She also said that to me when I first got here…'
'Well, the 'tell me your problem' part. Not the hairclip stuff.'
'But I can really tell her?'
'Yeah. But are you serious? You're really gonnna do that?'
'Have some shame with you girl.'
'That's the young lady. Not some ordinary kid.'
'Still… I think it's not bad to do so.'
'Suit yourself.'
'You'll find yourself eating those words.'
I smiled to myself as they whispered to each other. Well, sometimes, these heightened senses give me a little bit advantage. But not all the time. Sometimes I just want to shun my ears from hearing what I'm not supposed to hear. Because I know I'll just make things worse when I hear stuff I shouldn't hear.
##FLASHBACK##
"What do you mean disown her?!" Little Yukiharu heard from the hallway. 'Daddy! Daddy's here!' She jumped in glee as she hurriedly followed the sound she heard.
"Kei." She heard another man's voice. Someone older. "The investor will not sign that contract lest youmarry his daughter. You know how much this agreement means to us. We can't lose thi—" Yukiharu heard a loud slam. She held on tighter to her Usa-chan.
"Father!" Her daddy sounded angry. REALLY angry.
'Grandpa! Grandpa's here too!'
"I have a family now. I have Hikari, more importantly I— No. WE have Yukiharu now." Her ears twitched at the sound of her name.
'Found it. The door, found it.'
"I know. And I know Hikari will understand. Just send her the divorce papers—"
"No! I don't care about how big this investor's impact is on our company, but I will never, NEVER hurt Hikari. I will NEVER give up my family."
"Kei." Her grandpa sounded so soft. "It's for their safety. If the investor finds out that you have a wife, a child even. We don't know what his daughter would do to harm them." Her father deeply sighed. 'Harm?'
"This contract will ensure their safety. Even if you're not with them. Think about it, Kei. You need to let go of Hikari and Yukiharu. Send them far away, where— ..." The last words came out as muffled sounds to Yukiharu. She felt her eyes filling with tears about to fall. 'Daddy won't send us away, right, Usa-chan?'
"I…" Kei lowered his head. The little girl saw her daddy's hands holding on to the table tightly. "Will…" Her grandpa's eyes lightened up.
"Never." Grandpa's smile faded. "I will never give them up! I don't care what happen—" Usa-chan fell to the floor and one of Yukiharu's tears slid down her cheeks. A loud slap echoed through the little girl's ears as she saw her grandpa hit her daddy. She shook endlessly.
"You don't know how much our family had worked hard for this company, Kei! My father already gave you what you want! He gave you permission to have Hikari! I gave you everything you wanted when you were little! It's time you pay me back!" His daddy remained silent, looking at the side, face darkened. Her tears won't stop. It was her first time to see grandpa angry. She thought grandpa was nice. She thought grandpa was an angel.
"You WILL give Hikari those papers! You WILL send them away! You WILL disown Yukiharu! And you WILL! SIGN. THOSE. PAPERS."
'Daddy? You won't disown me, right? You love me, right?'
"If you won't, then I'll be the one to make sure you will NEVER see them agai—"
"DAISUKI!~ DAISUKI!~ YUKIHARU DAISUKI!~ (I love you! I love you! I love Yukiharu!)" Her Daddy and Grandpa looked shocked. Both of them looked at the direction of the sound. Kei's features softened as he saw his daughter standing behind the doors, crying, and stepping on the plushie's hands.
"Yukiharu…" He whispered.
"Daddy! Daddy!" His daughter came running towards him, her small arms wrapping around his knees tightly.
"You won't leave me and mommy right? You won't disown me, right? Because daddy loves us, right? You won't leave us daddy, won't you?" Kei looked at her daughter's pleading eyes. He picked her up and the little girl buried her face in his neck, hugging him tightly.
"I love you Daddy! I love you Daddy! I love you sooo much Daddy! Please don't leave us! Please don't leave me! Please daddy! Please…" Yukiharu sobbed hardly on her father's shoulders.
Kei hugged her daughter back. "I promise, baby. Daddy will never leave you." The lad glared sharply at his father.
"Yukiharu… Daddy and Grandpa were just talking about business, okay? Can you please go out for—"
"Ojii-jii DAIKIRAI! (I hate you Grandpa!)" The little girl's scream cut off her grandpa. "DAIKIRAI DAIKIRAI DAIKIRAI DAIKIRAI!"
The little girl continued sobbing. Her grandpa's expression turned into guilt. She calmed down for a few moments and wiped away her tears. Yukiharu adjusted her position on her daddy's arms and faced her grandpa with a furious face.
She clung her arms on her daddy's neck and opened her mouth to speak. "No! I will not go out! Whatever you have to tell Daddy, you have to tell me too!" Her grandpa was taken aback with what she said. He would never expect a 4-year-old to speak like that.
"We're together on this Daddy." She whispered to her daddy with a smile. She received a smile back.
"Heard that, father? Now… What were you saying earlier?" Kei smirked at his father. He knows the old jeezer can never talk like that in front of his 'beloved' granddaughter.
Much to Kei's surprise, his father picked up his suitcase and walked towards the door. "You will regret this, Kei."
Yukiharu stuck out her tongue at her grandpa and made a face before he left for the door. She smiled at her daddy and hugged him tight. "I love you daddy."
Kei hugged her back. "I love you too, princess. You and Mommy… And thank you."
"Usa-chan too. He was the one who stopped old jeezer."
"Alright. And Usa-chan too. But, don't call grandpa old jeezer. That's bad."
"Old jeezer."
Kei chuckled. "Alright."
They stayed like that for a long time before picking up the abandoned Usa-chan from the door and heading out of the mansion for ice cream.
##END OF FLASHBACK##
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END OF CHAPTER 1