Chapter 2

1995

Really, it should've come as no surprise that they'd end up here. From the moment she'd seen him standing there before her, gesticulating wildly with his sketchbook, his gaze so intense she could practically feel him pierce her with it.

And it had been awkward. Even though she'd invited him to stay the night, even though she'd thought about it from the moment he'd started talking about drawing. About why he liked it so much. It had been so awkward. But in a good way.

He was lying next to her, his arm wrapped around her, his chin almost touching her shoulder. She could feel his breath on her neck. She could smell him.

It was still too warm. Even though the sun had set hours ago, the air in her little apartment on the outskirts of the city was almost too hard to breathe. It was just a one-room apartment, but it was enough. She only wished she'd tidied up a bit this morning. But who'd have thought she'd bring a gorgeous man back home?

"It's crazy, huh?" he muttered against her skin, his lips tickling her.

She nodded. "Yep…" She raised her hand and brushed it through his dark hair. His dark blue eyes looked almost eerie in the moonlight creeping in through the window. "I've never done this before," she said, "Taken someone home with me. Someone I've only known a few hours."

He bit his lip and nodded. "Well, we did talk forever before, didn't we?"

Alex grinned. They had. They'd talked until the waiter told them they'd had to close the ice cream parlour. They'd talked while walking through the streets. They'd talked while strolling along the ruins of the ancient Roman city. About drawing, about art, about history, about archaeology. And somehow they'd managed to tiptoe around the subject which had been on her mind from the get-go. About how lovely his smile was. His voice. She'd wanted to tell him, but she couldn't. So instead, they'd ended up here. And here they still were.

But for now she was happy to pull him closer towards her, to feel his lips moving softly against hers. His contented sigh made her shiver.

"You okay?" Evan asked, concern in his voice as he pulled back.

"I'm okay." She let her finger trace the contours of his face. How strange to feel this… whatever it was. "I just like your voice a lot. It's comforting."

And just like his voice, his smile was easily capable of taking her breath away. It had made this whole awkward process of taking off her clothes that much easier. She'd been embarrassed to say the least, but she'd sensed that he'd felt about the same. They'd stood there, in front of her bed for a whole minute, just staring at each other. The kisses they'd shared completely forgotten in the all-too bright light of her apartment. He'd smiled then, rubbing his neck. "I'm a bit out of practice… now… uhm… don't take this the wrong way," he'd said and turned off the light. "Not that I don't want to see you, I just think this lighting isn't too flattering for me."

He made her laugh. That was one of the things she'd admired about him from the start. How easy it was to talk to him. To laugh with him. Even about these awkward moments. Even when she'd been too timid to proceed. Things were easy with him. Easy and a bit awkward.

"You have a nice voice, too," Evan said. Evan…what a nice name. Nice to say, nice to breathe in the semi-darkness. He reached up to take a strand of her hair between his fingers. "I still feel like I should know you better… or shouldn't I?"

"Nah, you should." Alex turned her head slightly to kiss the palm of his hand. She wanted to see him again after this. Not just because of what they'd just done, but because she'd felt this instant connection. And she'd meant what she'd said. He was comforting. The awkwardness had vanished the moment she'd realized that being awkward meant nothing. "What do you want to know?"

There was that smile again. "Everything. But that's probably a bit much for one night."

"Probably."

Clearing his throat, he sat up a bit. A clear message. He wanted to talk. That was fine by her. She'd get a chance to find out a bit more about him. That he loved flying, that he loved it immensely, that he loved drawing, his sister and his mother… that much was obvious, but it still wasn't enough. Four hours of talk wasn't enough. She needed more.

"First things first, though. Are you hungry?"

He nodded without hesitating. "I was gonna suggest taking you out to dinner before, but… this here kind of got in the way." And it had. That kiss on the bridge, that kiss after leaning against the balustrade and looking down on the river below, had somehow taken her mind off food.

"I'll make some sandwiches, if that's okay?"

"Sounds perfect. Let me help, though."

They both got up at the same time. For a moment Alex hesitated, then she threw on her wide nightshirt and walked around the bed towards the kitchen counter just as Evan got up and pulled his boxers on. She turned on the light now so she could find the bread, a big loaf of whole wheat she'd bought the day before. As though it was the most natural thing in the world, he went to her small fridge and pulled out butter and cheese. She watched him, how the muscles on his back moved slightly, how he appeared so confident now. It was as though them sleeping together had somehow broken a spell.

Unable to resist, she stretched out a hand and put her arm around his neck, pulling him closer.

"I thought you wanted to make a sandwich," he muttered against her lips and shutting her up with another kiss before she had a chance to reply. The soft scratching of his stubble against her cheek was exhilarating. She remembered how it had felt on other parts of her body. Her hand slid up his muscular torso as she felt her shirt slip up her hips. Evan's fingertips started caressing her back. His proximity, his body against hers almost made her feel light-headed.

She drew back a bit, but kept her hands on him. "Let's eat first," she said and he nodded, but didn't take his hands off her either.

"Okay." He kissed her again, but only once. "You should've put on something different if you wanted me to keep my hands to myself."

"Tell you what, we make the sandwiches, get into bed and eat there."

"Or…"

"Exactly." She giggled. She couldn't help it.

Luckily preparing the food only took a few minutes and they were under the blanket again before they knew it. Thighs touching, they sat in the narrow bed, each a small plate on their laps.

"We were going to talk before," he said.

"Ah... yes. I tend to forget about that."

Evan took a bite of his sandwich and leaned back again. "Do you have a middle name?"

Grinning, Alex folded her legs and sat up a bit straighter. "Laura. You?"

"Joel."

"Favourite colour?" she asked.

"Blue."

"Green." Alex took another bite, chewed and swallowed.

Evan considered her for a moment. "What was your favourite subject in school? History, I suppose?"

"History, yes. But I also really liked music."

"Do you play an instrument?"

She shook her head. "I'm not as artistic as you. I just liked the atmosphere. Does that make sense?" He hadn't shown her his drawings and she wondered if he'd ever willingly show her. Only if there was an ever in this… whatever it was. She hoped it would be. She kind of liked him. Not just for his looks, or his voice.

"I don't know. I guess? Okay… uhm, did you just study archaeology? Do you have a speciality?"

"Archaeology of ancient religions? I mean, it makes sense. Most litter we find from back then are tools, and cult and household objects."

"Litter?" He laughed his incredible laugh again. The sound made her skin tingle again. "Cult objects are litter?"

She shrugged. "In a way… not really. But those are the ones best preserved usually, because people took care of them."

"Ah… Are you religious?"

Tricky question. To be fair, she wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. She made a vague hand gesture. "Modern day Anglican religious. Guess I'm what the Germans call a submarine Christian. I only show up in church on Christmas, Easter and weddings."

He laughed again and nodded. "Same, though I guess I'm technically Catholic. I just don't see the point, really."

"Okay… now you. You said you love flying… but why join the Air Force? Why not become a commercial pilot?"

"The exact same question my mother asked me." Evan pushed the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth. After a while he looked up again. "I guess, I wanted to fly and help make the world a better place."

Alex had heard that sentence before. Not the exact same one, but one very similar. She swallowed hard and put her plate on the bedside table. "Kind of what my dad used to say, or so my mom always says." She smiled softly and shrugged. And there was that awkwardness again. She shouldn't have brought this up.

"Your dad was a pilot?"

"Royal Air Force. He was shot down in the Falkland War."

His hand reached out to touch hers and her stomach tightened as he weaved his fingers in between hers. "Sorry to hear that." He was quiet for a moment. Contemplating. He knew what it must be like. He was sure to have lost a colleague, or even a friend, in battle. The US Air Force was part of the NATO troops active in the war in Bosnia. "Guess that's why you didn't flinch away when I told you about my job?"

"Maybe. I don't know." She leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. "I was twelve and I barely ever saw him. He wasn't around much, but still." There wasn't a day when she didn't think about him. About what her life would've been like, had he lived… no matter how often she told herself that questions like these were futile. But it didn't hurt anymore. The pain was mostly gone.

"I mean, most people understand what we're doing and why, but this here," he pointed at her, then at himself, "never happened when I told someone before."

Laughing, she raised his hand and kissed his fingertips.

"I can only hope this isn't you displaying some kind of daddy issues?" The grin on his face told her that he wasn't serious, but the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach remained. Was this what she was doing here? No, probably not, but only a psychologist would be able to tell her that.

"My mom dated one of my dad's colleagues for a while. Believe me, I'm not the one who with issues."

"Kind of glad to hear that." He put his plate on the kitchen counter right next to her bed and pulled her closer again. "What else should I know about you?" His gaze trailed over her face and hovered on her lips for a moment. "Brothers or sisters?"

"Brother." She grinned. "Also a pilot. But with British Airways."

"Fancy. An airborne taxi driver. What's he like?"

"An arrogant prick, but I love him most days."

He bit his lip and his thumb traced her jawline. "I bet he loves you too."

It was no big surprise that she felt her cheeks flush. "I think so…" she muttered. "Okay… my turn. When's your birthday?"

With a frown, he raised his arm to look at his watch. "There's five minutes of it left."

She blinked. "And you didn't mention that before?"

"Would've been a terrible introduction, don't you think?"

"Probably." She pulled him closer, pressing a tender kiss on his lips. "Still… happy birthday, Evan. Sorry, I didn't get you a gift."

"Didn't you pay for the ice cream?" He didn't pull back, but his hands were again starting to creep up her shirt. "That was a great gift in my book."

It was weird how smoothly things were going now. How easy it was to be with him, in this strange bubble they'd created. How his kisses felt natural, how touching him was the only thing she could think about. Everything was a bit of a blur and at the same time she felt like she'd rarely been this aware of another person.

She grabbed him by the hair and climbed on top of him, as his lips traced her collarbone and his right hand cupped her breast.

"Not sure this was a good idea in this heat," he muttered, completely winded as he lay on top of her, his cock still comfortably inside of her.

Not sure this was a good idea without real protection, she thought. But she was on the pill, and she'd told him so. Things would be okay. Hopefully. But that couldn't be helped now. His weight on top of her was heavenly and she wished he wouldn't move. Her heart was still racing and the waves of heaviness swapping over her were subsiding slowly. She was sure she could sleep right now and sleep for the next few days. But of course he moved, pulling her with him as he turned on his back, so her head was nestled on his chest. She wrapped her leg around his and closed her eyes.

"And you said you were out of practice…"

His scoff brushed through her hair. "I am. Or was… it's easy with you…" He trailed off, letting his fingertips brush over her shoulder.

"Right back at you." She looked up at him. "So… you're gonna see me again after this?" She almost dreaded the answer, but before she could start worrying despite herself, he nodded.

"Sure. If you'll let me."

"Wouldn't have asked otherwise." Not that she needed to know any more at this moment. Her eyes were slowly but surely falling shut. "Gosh, what a day."

As he chuckled, she could feel his chest rise and fall beneath her cheek. "Let's get some sleep, huh?"