I could stay awake,

Just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming.

I could spend my life,

In this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment

Forever.

Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

I decided to give myself the rest of the day off work, and visited st mungo's. it took a while, but I eventually found my way to the maternity unit, and the shaking returned, along with the feeling of sickness. Though I was moving, my legs felt like lead, like they were being weighted down and preventing me from moving. A nurse came over to me and asked me if I needed help. I calmed myself and prayed that my voice would not give out as I answered.

"I would like to see Hermione granger's daughter please."

"I'm sorry but only friends and family are allowed."

"I am the child's father."

Her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth formed a small 'o', and within seconds I was being hurried down a long corridor until we eventually entered a room with a set of four incubaters in it. She moved over to one of them and a pink bundle was lifted out.

My daughter was placed in my arms and the first thing that greeted me was a pair of big brown eyes, so like her mother's.

"what is her name?" I asked.

"I think miss Granger named her Emily Rose"

I kissed Emily's forehead, before handing her back to the nurse, not being able to hold her anymore as the trembling came back stronger than ever and I found myself having to wlak away again to control my emotions, ignoring the nurse as she tried to calm the now screaming baby and call me back at the same time. I just didn't care.

All of a sudden I probably looked as if a wave of calm had washed over me, but to the more trained eye, I wash shaking slightly with my jaw and fists clenched as I fought to gain control over my feelings, when in reality all I wanted to do was break, no, destroy something. Anything to take this feeling away. I felt lost as if everyone was moving around me, but I was just standing there, with no purpose, no sense, nothing.

That night, I was barely able to sleep, thoughts of Hermione plaguing my mind, forcing me to lie awake, fighting back the hurt threatening to take over me.I never let you know how often I would lie there watching you sleeping. I loved wtatching you. You looked so young, so fragile when you were lying there, and every now and again, your mouth would twitch upwards ever so slightly. I used to wish that I could spend my whole life watching you sleep, but you would always wake up as I thought that, and give me that sleepy smile, the one I cwould always cherish in my heart.

When I finally woke up after my hellish night, I managed to stumble to have a shower, my mind still blank, barely able to focus on anything, even to the poitn that I very nearly washed my hair with shaving cream instead of shampoo. I slammed the cream down and picked up the shampoo, furiously scrubbing my hair. By the time I finished my shower, I decided that yesterday was just a dream and that I had simply imagined it all. I decided to give myself a holiday as it was obvious I wasn't getting enough sleep, and it was causing me to start hallucinating. I wrote a letter apologising for the short notice, and sent my owl to deliver it, before moving downstairs to start my first day of my holiday.