No going back- Chapter 2
Don't own em, just love 'em. Wish ta hell I worked for Kripke
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It tore Dean up to see his brother like that. His heart breaking and moaning into his hands. It tore him up worse to know Sam had every right to feel that wretched about himself. He was screwed and he did it to himself.
In the back of Dean's mind an old Rolling Stones song came up unbiden, "Sympathy for the Devil" And Dean fought to get the tune out of his head.
Fuck. Dean ran his hand over his face and sighed. They both were screwed. His mental wheels spun as he thought again about how the hell they wound up here with this new kink that would cramp up their already complicated lives. He couldn't seem to put his finger on just what moment things began to get this fucked up for them it seemed to him to go way back as his mind raced to try and see some angle out of this.
Sam moaned again and Dean's attention snapped back to the present. The song dimming into the background of his mind. It wasn't fair that the good decent man that Sam was, had always been, would wind up sporting the eyes of a creature whose kind had been screwing with Winchesters for three generations. And all because Sam had tied to do what he thought was right. He'd sacrificed and trained all his life to hunt evil and save innocent lives just as much as he had and now the sick irony was that he'd been led to unleash the ultimate evil on all human kind. Just like I had when I'd broke the first Seal and started this whole... But wait, thought Dean, how long had they been pawns in the demons plans to get to this point? And suddenly Dean saw a pin prick of light at the end of the tunnel that just might ease the burden his brother was feeling right now.
Dean cleared his throat, "I've been thinking about this for a long time Sam."
"Yeah, I know," Sam raised his head and soft hazel brown eyes rimmed in red met hazel green once more, "you've been afraid I'd go demon longer than I'd known it was a possiblity," Sam spat out refering to their dads secret warning to his brother about 'If you can't save him you might have to kill him.'
"WHA? No not that, and I never would!" Dean sat up straighter and reached over to clasp his bother's shoulder. "You KNOW that don't you? You're my brother forever...no matter...no matter what dad said, the angels said or what YOU said. I'd never hurt you. So get over that wouldja? No I meant ever since we found out that Yellow Eyes had killed our grandparents. Who knows how far back he'd had this plan in action to get his buddy outta the pit.
Sam paused to consider the thought out loud, "Could have been hundreds of years? Or thousands, demons do live essentially forever."
"Yeah right, or until they cross paths with a Winchester." Dean smiled grimly "But think about it Sammy. It musta started before you were born, hell, before either of us was a twinkle in dads eye."
"EWE"
"Grow up."
"Dean, I'm just saying." Sam mused, "You met mom, and dad before they...they had a future together and you knew."
"Yeah," Dean said sadly, "Some future." He let the remark hang in the air. "But what I'm saying is this thing that happened last night wasn't just you, just now Sam. It was all of us, all being manipulated by those bastards to get us down to this end result."
Sam sat silently drinking this in, his brother was trying to ease his guilt a guilt so overwhelming because of what Sam had been led to do most men wouldn't be able to live through it.
And more than anything Dean needed Sam to live through it. Get past it if he could because there was a bigger fight they both had to face and they needed to have their heads in it to have any hope of lasting through what was coming.
Dean looked Sam directly in the eyes and said slowly "All of it Sammy, all of it was planned out. Mom dying, Jess, dad thinking he was swapping his soul for me to live only for me to go and give it away to bring you back. Me going to hell to just fucking open the first seal for them and ...."
"Ruby being here..." Sam whispered.
"To tell you everything you wanted to hear just as long as it got you to Kill Lilith and open the last lock to his cage."
"It was all planned..." Sam breathed as he felt a great weight lift off him.
"Except the angels" Dean added. "They didn't see that one coming. They didn't see me gettin outta the pit."
"So what are you saying?" Sam asked.
"I'm thinking that Gods got us as his wild cards Sammy."
"So he approved me changing? Sam looked incredulously at his brother.
"No, I don't think He wanted that, but He didn't hate it enough to stop you..." Dean paused as his voice thickened up, "He didn't hate it enough to kill you."
Sam's lips pressed together as his jaw quivered and his suddenly brimmed eyes sought out his brothers. Part of Gods plan too? Redemption? Was that even still on the table?
"Could Cas change me back?"
Dean paused, not sure how to break the news. Then opted for the truth. "No, it's not something he's able to do, not a Heavenly edict or something." Dean saw his younger brothers crestfallen expression and it nearly broke his heart. "But that doesn't mean the hand of man can't intervene." He smiled.
Shakily Sam asked, "What do you mean ?"
"Well first thing is get you...better"
"Better? How? I turned demon Dean!"
"Yeah, but that's just physical, you're not a demon. Not inside Sam. You just Hulk out into one when you're angry."
Sam blinked at the pop culture reference of "The Hulk" Dean just made. Yeah, you sure as hell wouldn't like me when I'm angry, he thought, hell, even demons themselves didn't like Sam Winchester when he was full on bent on vengenece.
"So what are you saying, " Sam sadly smirked, "just because I turn demon doesn't make me a demon?"
"Right," Dean said and added more softly, "I know what it takes to make a human into one, what has to happen to your soul....because of my ....uh training" And Dean's own face grimmaced in digust remembering those years in the pit when he got off the rack. "And you, you're still you inside," Dean smiled and Sam could see how Dean was still proud of him...even now...even like he was.
And Sam smiled weakly back.
"See, it's just your blood or all that demon blood inside you that makes you have that reaction." Dean went on, "You, the man inside didn't turn, just your body. It was poisoned...."
"By Ruby...." Sam spit out the name.
"And all the demon blood she got you addicted to." Dean chided.
Sam hung his head, so it would come down to that again. "So, we go back to Bobby's and I detox again," he sighed.
And the damn song seemed to grow louder in Dean's head.
"Hell, no" Dean frowned, "You've got too much in your system now for that route, it might kill you. No, we gotta get the demon blood out and get a fresh supply in, then you'll be you old self."
"How the hell do you propose to do that without me being killed by the blood loss?" Sam asked incredulously.
And the song blossomed into the idea for Sam's cure.
"Chelation therapy Sammy!" Dean smiled like he'd said a magic word. " It's like a dialasis machine that pumps the old tainted blood out and pumps fresh clean blood in. It's the same procedure that's kept Keith Richards alive for years. Otherwise he'd gone through five livers by now. You'll be a new man afterward." And Dean clapped him on the shoulder for empahasis. "I'm gonna call Bobby now and see if he knows anybody that can hook us up with one. Meanwhile get dressed I'm starving."
"UH...devils trap..." Sam held up his hands.
"Oh yeah" And Dean got up and rubbed his bare foot on the design's edge to brake the seal, "Sorry-now haul ass my stomachs feeding on itself!"
To be continued
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