Durarara! © Ryohgo Narita.

This is going to be mildly AU because I haven't read all the novels and the anime doesn't go into depth as much. So some little things will be different. And like I said, starting now it's all in Shizuo's POV apart from the epilogue.

Thanks for all the follows, favorites and nice reviews (: they definitely motivate me.

I wake up in a bed I don't recognize. It isn't the bed I last slept in, and sure, this is the sort of thing that might happen to an ordinary person, or the sort of thing that might happen in a crappy drama, but it certainly isn't something that ever happens to me.

Why?

Because I'm the monster and this isn't a stupid romance. Shitty as it seems, Beauty doesn't really fall in love with the beast and live happily ever after. Things like that just don't happen in real life. That's why they make movies. In reality, Beauty just runs away from the beast…

The last thing I remember is feeling a sharp and sudden pain in my chest. When I looked down, I saw blood, and on the ground I saw that flick blade Izaya always carries around. On it, there was more blood. My blood.

Before that, I remember killing him… wrapping my hands around his neck and squeezing until he went limp.

He's so weak.

It surprised me.

I guess I never realized it because I've never been able to catch him. His speed is his greatest strength. His neck snapped like a twig. I hardly had to use any strength to kill him.

It was pathetic…

I let out a sigh as I get out of the bed, not taking the time to stretch my aching limbs before looking around the room.

Seriously, where the fuck am I?

There is a bed, the one I had just been sleeping in. It has a rich, maroon colored duvet with matching sheets and pillow cases. Next to the bed there is a nightstand with a lamp on it. The room is average, but quaint…

Ah.

It's my old bedroom at my parent's house.

But how?

Maybe I'm dead?

Or maybe not – maybe I was dreaming.

I look down at my chest and pull up my shirt. There is no blood, no fatal wound. I feel my eyebrows draw together in confusion and mild annoyance; there is only the scar from where Izaya cut me back in high school, though there is something different about the way it usually looks. It's fresh, as if it's still in the final process of healing.

I lightly poke at it, frowning.

What the fuck is going on?

"Oh, Shizuo, you're awake."

I whirl around and come face-to-face with my younger brother, who is hovering in the doorway. I notice that there is something off about him as well. He looks much younger.

"Kasuka?"

"Yes?" he tilts his head to the side. "Are you feeling okay, Shizuo?"

"Where are we?" I ask.

Kasuka lifts an eyebrow. "We're at home…" he says slowly.

"How?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Hung-over?"

"No!" I growl. I hate alcohol.

Though looking unconvinced, Kasuka shrugs it off, "How is the cut on your chest?"

"Huh?"

Kasuka points to his own chest, drawing a line down it for reference, "The one you got from fighting with Orihahra a while ago."

"Oh," I mumble, "It's… It's healing…"

How incredibly strange…

What the hell is going on?

"You better get dressed," Kasuka says, "Otherwise you'll be late for classes."

"Class," I repeat dumbly.

He gives me an airy look before walking away.

Am I being given a second chance?

If so, a second chance to do what?

Fuck it. I'll shake off that thought for now.

I close the door before I begin to change and come face-to-face with a long mirror hanging on the back of it. I feel myself frown as the reality of it all continues to set in.

Kasuka isn't the only one that looks younger. I look younger as well.

Tch.

I pull on my uniform while simultaneously wondering whether or not Izaya might've had something to do with what's going on.

"It probably was that damn flea," I mutter before leaving.

"Izaya," I growl as soon as I enter the school field, stomping towards him.

"Shizu-chan," he says from his spot on the bleachers, carelessly examining his nails as if the dirt beneath them is more important than what I have to say. To him, it probably is.

"What the hell did you do?" I ask, trying to refrain from punching him square in the face.

Izaya presses his hand to his chest in mock hurt, "Me? Shizu-chan, I did nothing at all. All this time I had been assuming it was you who had done this."

"It wasn't me!"

"Well, then, I don't know what you expect me to tell you. I had nothing to do with it," he pauses, smiling. "How's that little cut on your chest healing up?" he asks, leaning forward to reach for my shirt.

I push him away, growling, "Don't touch me, Flea!"

"Stupid protozoan," he retorts. "There's no need for yelling, I can hear you perfectly fine."

I feel my eyebrows twitch at the insult and before I can stop myself I am flying forward to land a punch in Izaya's unsuspecting, smug face.

Izaya lets out a surprised sound before falling backwards in between the bleachers.

Much better.

I turn around and let out a sigh of relief before walking to class.

Sometimes a person can grow so accustomed to something that their body has it memorized even better than their mind.

I think that our fights are like this.

"Hey, Shizuo!" I hear once I walk into the classroom.

I can't help but roll my eyes, immediately recognizing the familiar voice as Shinra. It also has me mildly curious. If it is true that I am being given a second chance, and if it is true that I did just die… I wonder how Shinra reacted. I wonder what Celty had to say. I wonder what Simon was thinking. They were all probably disappointed I lacked the self-control and that it had to end the way it did.

At the same time… Deep down everyone was probably pretty relieved it was finally over, even if it didn't end as happily as they might have hoped.

I guess I can't blame them for that.

I doubt there is any way Izaya and I will ever get along. It's just not possible. He's too annoying. Just seeing his face is enough to get me riled up and pissed off.

I take a seat next to Kadota and Shinra, who immediately starts chattering. I mindlessly listen, nodding every so often and adding in a "yeah" or "okay" here and there.

It all feels weird, but in a familiar and oddly good way.

Moments later Izaya walks into the classroom. He spares me a glance before turning his nose up and taking a seat near the window, at the opposite end of the room.

Well, good.

The farther away he is, the safer it will be for everyone in the room… So long as no one else pisses me off.

But then again, maybe I'll be able to control my anger this time around.

Maybe I'll be able to right a few wrongs, to fix a few of my mistakes, to keep myself from hurting the people I've hurt in the past.

After school I begin to walk home only to spot Izaya walking a few steps ahead. I purposely slow down to create more distance between us, but he turns around and smiles that stupid, facetiously cheerful smile.

"Shizu-chan!"

"Don't talk to me."

"Aw," he frowns, "Don't be mean, I'm just trying to be friendly."

"No, you're not," I deadpan. "You don't do friendly. You're just annoying."

Maybe this is what happens when people are stubborn – they have to go back and fix things. Maybe this will keep happening until I make things right? Shit, I don't know about the flea, but that sounds pretty fucking irritating to me. What is there to fix, anyway? And why the fuck is Izaya here, too?

Still, I feel pretty determined to get this right the second time since I couldn't do it the first.

I look down at my hands. "Look," I begin tersely, trying not to blow up, "we were given a second chance, a chance to fix whatever it is we did wrong in the past. This wasn't random, it had to be the work of –"

"Shizu-chan," he interrupts, "I swear if you say 'the work of God' or 'some higher being' I am going to choke you worse than you choked me."

I snort, "I'd like to see you try, Flea…"

Izaya doesn't reply. Instead, he dismissively states, "I don't believe in God."

"Why not?"

"There's no proof he or she exists."

"That's why people have faith."

He shrugs nonchalantly. "I'd rather not put my faith in things like that."

"Well what other reason is there for something like this?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure there is one. Only helpless and pathetic people put their faith in things that may not even exist."

I clench my fists and grind my teeth together.

Clearly he senses my anger, because he's smirking that stupid smirk he always wears. He leans forward and pinches my cheek before running away.

"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I roar, before running after him.

After what feels like hours of chasing, a familiar voice puts a stop to everything.

"Shizuo, Izaya, fighting bad."

We both pause, turning around to see Simon Brezhnev standing tall in his work uniform with crossed arms.

Right…

I remember Simon always arrived during the middle of our fights and took us back to Russia Sushi, forcing us both to make up. However, as we grew older, Simon wasn't around to break up all of our fights. Fortunately for Izaya, he was usually too fast and agile for me and would usually get away without more than a scratch. Otherwise, he would have been in for worlds of hurt.

"Come, eat and be friends," he says, putting arms around the both of us and leading us into Russia Sushi.

Usually when Simon would force us to make up, it was terse and fake. Izaya would just smile that incredibly fake smile and say he never meant any harm. For the sake of Simon, I would try really damn hard not to trash the restaurant and kill Izaya on the spot because Simon never seemed to figure out that Izaya was just being condescending.

As soon as we left the restaurant, I'd chase him out of Ikebukuro…

Now probably won't be much different. I'll chase him until I lose him, then I'll go back home tired and angry.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya simpers, making me want to vomit. "Why are you making such an ugly face at me? Scary!"

"Shut up, Flea," I growl, "That's my line." I shovel sushi into my mouth. It tastes abnormal, but maybe it'll distract me long enough not to grab a piece of architecture and swing it at Izaya's stupid face.

He puts a hand on his chest, feigning hurt. "But Shizu-chan," he whines, "I'm only trying to be nice."

"You don't do nice!" I spit, feeling food fly out of my mouth.

Izaya shuts his eyes, grimacing when a few chunks of chewed sushi land on his cheek. "Shizu-chan… That's disgusting," he says, briskly wiping them off.

I cover my mouth with the back of my hand and can't help but laugh.

Simon soon returns with another plate of his unorthodox sushi. "See," he says, setting the tray down on the table, "You are having good time getting along."

"Right," Izaya says somewhat tersely, his good mood having been wiped away like the food I spat on his face.

Sure enough, when Izaya and I leave the restaurant it is cat and mouse all over again and it ends exactly how I predicted. It ends with me returning home tired and angry.

"What happened?" Kasuka asks after I slam the front door shut.

"Nothing," I growl.

"Izaya Orihara?" he guesses correctly.

I don't say anything, but I think my silence gives him his answer.

Fuck this.

Fuck Izaya.

If he keeps pissing me off I'll kill him again!

And if we're taken back again, then I'll do it again!

I'll keep doing it forever, if I have to.

Why the hell does he make me so fucking angry?

Probably because he tries to… I bet he gets off on it like some sort of freak.

I would like to know what his trauma is. His parents probably either beat him up or spoil him. It's one of two extremes.

Being in the body of a sixteen year old really has me thinking like one as well and that isn't a good thing. I'm going to do something stupid soon enough. I did a lot of stupid things at this age. It's probably going to be inevitable…

At school the next day Shinra hassles me the way he always does, and the day goes by slowly. Repeating high school is really the shits, and what makes it worse is Izaya waiting to harass me some more after class is over.

"What the hell do you want now?" I ask when I find him waiting at the school gates.

"Nothing~" he says, swinging back and forth on his toes.

"What the hell is your trauma?"

"My trauma…" he repeats, sounding somewhat airy. "I don't know what you mean."

"You are fucked up," I point. "I may be a monster, but I'm still more human than you are!"

He smirks. "I never said I wanted to be human."

"Clearly…"

"I know what you are thinking," he says, shrugging carelessly. "It must have been my parents, right? Well, no. My family is exceptionally ordinary. I was neither spoiled nor neglected as a child."

"I find that incredibly hard to believe."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because you're so fucked up," I say. "Why did you turn out like that if your parents are normal?"

He smiles annoyingly, "I just see things differently."

I roll my eyes, wondering mildly what it is he would rather be than human. Probably a fuckin' God or something, considering his superiority complex. That's probably another reason he refuses to believe in God.

I wish I could identify myself as human. I wish people would identify me as a human, as well, rather than calling me the monster of Ikebukuro.

Izaya follows me as I start to walk and I try hard to ignore him. I'm so damn tired I'd probably be able to if only he'd keep his stupid mouth closed.

"Shizu-chaaaan," he whines, "Why won't you talk to meeee?"

"Because you're annoying!" I shout. "Besides, why do you want to talk to me? I just killed you."

"And I killed you."

"And you don't find something a little weird about that?" I ask, stifling a yawn in my hand.

"Shizu-chaaaan," he whines again, disregarding my question. "Are you tired?"

"No," I lie.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not," I repeat.

"Stop lying."

"Why the fuckin' hell do you care what I am?" I stop and roar at him.

He smiles. Of course he fuckin' smiles. Then he walks away.

What a freak.

Part of me thinks he wants me to chase after him, but I'm not going to.

I won't chase him. Not today.

Today, I'm going home to take a nap.

All this bullshit has me stressed out. It's fucking with my sleep.

The following night is a Saturday and Saturdays are usually spent roaming the streets of Ikebukuro. Right now I'm chatting with Shinra's soon-to-be-girlfriend, Celty, the headless rider. It's funny… I know what's going to happen in the future. I wonder if any of it will change. Maybe it's supposed to.

"I don't want to be alone," I admit, "but at the same time I can't help but put a distance between myself and others for their own safety. It is just like Izaya always says, I'm a monster."

If Celty had a head, I'm sure she'd be frowning right now. She takes her cellphone out of her sleeve and begins to type.

A few seconds later, she holds up her cellphone and I read, "You shouldn't listen to what he says. He just likes to get you riled up."

I smile wryly. "You're probably right…" I admit, "You know, I've considered it before, but I didn't think it made sense. Why does he enjoy pissing me off so much?"

"Maybe he finds you interesting. Most people in Ikebukuro do, it's possible that he's no different."

I laugh, "Right. Ah, I doubt that."

Her shoulders move up and down. I think she's laughing, too. She's probably surprised I'm opening up this much to her. I wasn't like this when I was younger. Our friendship was a relatively new investment in my past life… Or future life?

"You're right, probably not, but you never know."

I shove my hands in my pockets, shrugging. To be frank, it's a possibility I don't really want to think about because it would be weird. Everything that involves Izaya is weird and I'd just rather not think about him at all.

"You know he used to be fairly normal and well liked."

"What changed him, then?" I ask, trying to sound disinterested.

"Don't repeat this – but I think it was Shinra."

"Shinra?" I raise an eyebrow. What did Shinra have to do with this? I have half a mind to beat him up.

She starts typing again. "Shinra says Izaya was the top student, though a bit of an outsider."

"That sounds like him all right…" I mumble.

"He wasn't one to make friends, but he wasn't cruel either. After he grew closer with Shinra, that changed."

"Why, though?"

"I think Izaya was jealous."

"Really?" I ask, "It's hard to imagine the flea anything except sociopathic."

Her shoulders shake again – more laughter, I'm guessing. "Shinra looked at things differently than Izaya was able to. Izaya was still very much human and I don't think he liked that. He wanted to be above humans."

I can recall him saying that he sees things differently. I guess it's something he consciously tried to change about himself.

Hm. The things you learn.

"So is his entire personality just an act?"

"I think it was in the beginning, but it's not anymore. He probably forgot his old self."

"What a weird and stupid guy."

"I think it's mostly sad."

I shrug, "I have no sympathy towards people like that."