Endless Waltz Chapter Two: Peace
AN: I know that this chapter is a bit overdue, but I have my reasons for taking my time. Firstly, this chapter is the make or break chapter of my work. Everything that I've written up until now was leading up to this point, this one chapter, (well, aside from when Takato and Rika become an actual couple, that's the other big moment) so of course I was going to take my time with it. Secondly, Impmon has a LOT of dialog in this chapter, and his accent is murder when your trying to put it in print form, and thirdly, I have been very busy. So, for those of you that have stuck by me, I thank you for waiting patiently, and I pray that this chapter proves to be worth the wait that you have endured. I WILL RESPOND TO YOUR REVIEWS! I just need a little time to catch up. Oh, and (Chibi Archer does happy dance) My profile got fixed, so now I can use the 'insert horizontal ruler' tool, it was just suddenly there on my toolbar!
Rika shuddered as the heavy gust of wind blew through her. Despite it being February, the weather was actually pretty mild. That is why she had only taken a light jacket with her; it was in the low seventies right now, which was far from cold. But every time the wind picked up, she regretted her choice of not taking her longer, thicker, and obviously much much warmer full length coat. She had been pressed for time though, she needed to talk to Jeri, and she wasn't sure how long it would take before her mother suddenly remembered and questioned her about the 'sleepwear' from earlier this morning.
Once upon a time, she wouldn't have minded the less than pleasant weather. She never exactly liked the cold, but she remembered having a higher tolerance for it back when she first started taming. As time moved on however, she found herself more and more inclined towards warmer weather, or at the very least higher temperatures. She had also developed a distinct dislike for the cold.
Rather than dwelling on the cold however, Rika's thoughts were more directed at what she was about to do. There were 'rules' that friends followed in life, and while most could be slightly tweaked or bent at one time or another due to various circumstances, there were a few that could not.
This was one of them.
"How am I supposed to ask her….ugh, this tanks. Hey Jeri, how's it going? Good? That's great, hey I hope you don't mind, but I found out that you and Takato aren't going out any more, what happened?"
Rika groaned.
Jeri was her friend, and even though she knew that the girl was strong, she couldn't help but feel guilty at what she was about to do. She had questions; Jeri had answers, simple right? Unfortunately, she knew it would be more far more complicated. Rika was aware of the fact that sometimes people would 'take a break' from each other, and that this could very well be the case with them. She even knew that there was still a good chance that the two would make up in the near or not quiet so near future if that was not the case. But her head was buzzing and swimming with questions, and they would not go away until her curiosity was sated. As it stood, only two people knew what had happened, and Takato wasn't talking.
That left Jeri.
"Why do I even care? It's not like I…" Rika shook her head to clear away that thought. "No way am I falling for Gogglehead, I'm just worried about two of my friends, and I want to make sure everything is aright with them. Yeah, that's it, they're my friends! So of course I should be worried about them." Smiling, Rika accepted this as the answer for why she was here now, and pushed any other possibilities to the back of her mind, back into the closet from which they came.
Looking up, Rika saw that she had arrived, and that Jeri was already there waiting for her.
Chuo's Namiyoke Inari Shrine was one of the Tamer's 'other' meeting places, though it was rarely used. The small shrine was closer to Jeri and Rika than the others, so usually they were the only ones to meet up here. It was fairly secluded, so it offered privacy, and unlike the hideout at the park, Hypnos didn't know they met here, so it was safer to discuss 'certain' topics freely.
"Good morning Rika!" Jeri called out waving happily.
"Ugh, great, she's happy. Now I feel even more guilty. Can this day get any worse?" Rika thought as she plastered a small fake smile and waved back to her friend.
The two entered the small courtyard and seated themselves on the shrines steps, using the building the shield them from the cold winds. Even though Jeri had on a much thicker coat, Rika remembered that the girl had also had a lower tolerance for the cold than she did. Still, she was thankful that they were out of the wind as her brunette friend was.
Jeri leaned back with her elbows against the top step, letting the sun shine down on her face, smiling warmly and waited. Sighing, Rika plopped down a little ways away from her like a sack of potatoes.
Roughly a minute passed without either party speaking, Jeri just waited with her eyes closed while Rika felt her conscience slowly gnaw away at her.
"I'm sorry Jeri….I…think this was a mistake. Sorry I wasted your time," Rika said softly as she rose up to leave.
Her movement was halted by a soft, yet still firm grip on her forearm.
"You said that it was important…and if it's frightened you this badly, it must be." Rika was surprised by the amount of worry in her friends voice, adding even more guilt to her already heavy mind.
"Please, just take your time, and talk when you feel like it ok?"
Rika swallowed the lump in her throat. She wanted to snicker, laugh, or do ANYTHING to break the silence and deny Jeri's claim, but she couldn't because it was true. In the last few years, Jeri had developed the uncanny ability to know just how far to push a person, she knew what buttons to push to get whatever the desired reaction was, and she was able to do so effortlessly. When you combined that with the girl's nearly limitless patience, the result was always the same.
Her questions getting answered.
The only differing factor was how long it took for the person to spill.
Settling back on the steps, Rika took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had so many questions, so much was tugging at her that she didn't even know where to begin.
"Is it about Ryo?" Jeri inquired suddenly.
Rika shot her friend a confused look, which she barely registered and continued.
"Ok then, if it's not about Ryo, then it must be about Takato."
Seeing Rika flinch ever so slightly, Jeri nodded her head to herself in affirmation.
"I don't know what you're talking about Jeri, why would I be asking you anything about Gogglehead?" Rika defended.
Jeri smiled warmly, and Rika could feel her icy edge literally melting away.
"Curse you Jeri, how do you do that?!"
"You never have problems with your grandmother, and when you're having problems with your mother you go to her. Since your coming to me, it can't be about family. That only leaves Ryo or Takato since you handle the others on your own."
Rika frowned.
"Am I that easy to see through?"
Jeri giggled at her friend's sour expression. "No, you're actually harder to see though than Ryo, I just know you well enough is all," she replied carefully.
Rika sighed and leaned back. She was caught and she couldn't run away, she knew it. But that didn't mean she was going down without a fight.
"Soooo, what seems to be the problem? Did he do or say something stupid?"
Again, Rika answered her friend with silence.
"Ok, so it's not that….did he forget about something important?"
Still no response.
"You know, this would be a lot easier if you just told me what the problem is. I'm going to get it out of you eventually, you know that right?"
Rika grunted in response.
"Sheesh, you're worst than Takato. At least he's brave enough to ask for help," Jeri said with a snort as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Hey! It's not like that! I'm not a coward ok! I just don't want to hurt you!" Rika's eyes widened as Jeri's mouth pulled into a smug grin.
"Told you I would find out eventually," Jeri said cheekily as she scooted closer to her friend.
Rika was mentally slamming her head into the ground for having fallen for such and old and obvious trick, so she was a bit surprised to see her friend so close to her when she looked back up.
"If this is what I think it's about, then your answer is no." Jeri said simply and firmly with a nod.
Rika quirked an eyebrow at her friends response.
"No? What do you meant no? No what?"
Jeri's smile became slightly sad, but it was quickly covered with a familiar joyful sparkle in her eyes.
"No, as in I don't mind you asking him out of course."
Rika's eyes widened up into her hairline and she felt the air get knocked out of her lungs like she had just been sucker punched in the gut.
"What the heck Jeri!? Ask him out! Are you out of your mind!?" Rika shouted, though she didn't notice it (Jeri did however) her ears were bright red.
"Well, what else could it be about? His birthday is months away, so it can't be you needing help with a present for him, and there's nothing I would know about him that you cant get from any of the others," Jeri stated with a shrug.
".. To date. Gogglehead!" Rika shouted leaning closer to her friend so that their noses touched, looking her straight in the eyes.
"Oh crud, I forgot about that," Rika cringed as she watched her friend's soft brown eyes suddenly turn sharp and calculating. She could see them moving side to side like she was reading something, which in this case, was 'the book of Rika'.
"Rika…you…don't know what you want…do you?" It was more of a statement than a question.
"Her eyes, she's confused and frightened…I've never seen her look this uncertain about anything before. She looks like she's completely lost," Jeri thought sadly.
It would have surprised anyone to find out, but Jeri had actually been expecting this conversation for quite some time. As the years passed, she waited, and waited, but she never dismissed it, this was something she knew was coming, just not when.
Taking a deep breath, Jeri carefully reached out and held her friend's hands tightly in her own. Rika was strong, but this was going to hit one of her few 'weak points'.
"Rika, look at me," Jeri ordered. Her voice was calm, but it carried an undertone of strength that startled the Digimon Queen.
"I'm going to say this once, and only once ok?"
Rika nodded slowly, sensing impending doom just around the corner.
"Rika, you, like, Takato, a lot, and you have for a long time."
Feeling something click, and something else shatter in the back of her mind, Rika sat before her friend in stunned silence.
"Nothing to do with taming? That doesn't make any sense at all," Renamon thought as she leapt over several rooftops without breaking stride. Ryo had been of little if any use in answering her questions, which only left two other possibilities. Her sense of duty was berating her for leaving Rika alone for such an extended period of time, but she also knew that both she and her Tamer were seeking the answer to this question.
"As much as I hate to admit it though, he's right."
Renamon jumped from one rooftop and flipped several times before landing onto the next one in her path. For her, acrobatics was as natural as breathing. Thankfully this allowed her to focus on the matter at hand rather than where she was going.
"Before meeting the others, Rika and I had defeated several Champion digimon, and according to Takato, at the time when we first met, Guilmon was only two days old."
Leaping again, Renamon thought back to the early days of the Tamers, back when it had been only Rika, Takato, and Henry. The three were very different from each other, but they worked as an effective team. Takato was a very fast learner, between Henry's gentle guidance, and Rika's pushing him along, it hadn't taken long for the boy to find his feet.
"Huh, Rika was helping make him stronger even then, strange."
Soon after the D-Reaper incident, and after everything had started to calm down. Rika slipped into a bit of a rut. She had her friends, and the bond between she and her mother had never been stronger. But both Renamon and Seiko could see it in her pale violet eyes. Something was bothering her, eating away at her core.
The day Henry asked if Rika would mind teaching his younger sister Suzie, this issue was brought to light.
She had flat out refused to teach the young girl, and though not trying to be mean, she actually made her cry, which in turn caused the older girl to reveal the source of her fears.
Rika had been a championship player for three years running, placing in the top two at every event. But she had never taught anyone how to play before. She taught herself, and she spent most of her free time bettering herself. The pointers she gave to Takato were one thing, but to take someone under her wing and teach them was something new to her.
So when Jeri came to the guys asking for someone to teach her, Rika, feeling confident in her skills as a teacher decided to give it a shot and help her friend out.
Two weeks later, Leomon was ruthlessly cut down by Beelzemon.
That one event had caused ripples within the Tamers far beyond the initial damage. Takato became almost obsessed with protecting everyone, nearly resulting in his own death several times. Henry began to question his instincts and judgment, his greatest asset to the team. And Rika had lost confidence that she was a good teacher, after all, just because you're good at something doesn't mean you can teach it to others.
Surprisingly, it was Takato who 'kick started' Rika out of her funk. Reminding her that Leomon's death was in no way her fault, and who she was, Takato convinced her to face her fear and to try her hand at training another once more.
The result was one of the finest Tamers the world had ever seen. Under Rika's tutorage, Suzie had matured quickly while still keeping her core personality intact. In only three weeks, Suzie and Lopmon were able to fight against Ultimates on their own with only minor difficulty. There had been a scare with LadyDevimon, but that was quickly put to rest. Some months later, the proof of Rika's hard work came to light.
An outbreak in Wild Ones had stretched the Tamers apart. They were only Champion levels, but there were too many to count. Then, while the Tamers were busy fighting the horde of Champions, a Mega Bioemerged.
Suzie was the only one not currently fighting, having been held back in reserve, so she was the only one close enough to reach it before the Biofield dissipated. Ignoring both her brother and Takato's orders, Suzie and Lopmon charged in.
By the time the others arrived, they found a roughed up Suzie who had several tares in her clothes resting beside an obviously exhausted Lopmon, who was using her ears as a makeshift pillow for the two of them.
The Mega was nowhere in sight.
Landing on the next roof, Renamon reflected back to before that time, back to the early days, searching for some clue that would suddenly make everything make sense.
"What happened?" Running their first encounter through her mind like a streaming video, Renamon watched it over and over, listening intently to every word spoken, and watched every movement between the two like a hawk.
"I…don't see it. What am I missing? It has to be something small, something subtle that I'm overlooking."
Coming to a stop, Renamon looked around for the familiar yard of her next destination.
"Looking for som'um toots?"
Moving only her eyes, Renamon looked over to the source of the voice.
"Just the mon I was looking for."
Jeri watched as her friends face went from bright red to a curious shade of purplish red.
"You're crazy!" Rika shouted as she yanked her hands free and jumped up like she had been stung.
Not moving from her spot, Jeri simply waited.
"I don't even know what gave you that idea! Its nuts, it…it sounds like something Ryo or Terriermon would say!"
Rika paced before her friend throwing out denials, rants, and the occasional curse. Through it all Jeri waited patiently. This actually wasn't as bad as she had expected it to be.
"I don't even know what you're talking about!"
"That's my cue."
"Unfortunately, that's not only true, it's the problem," Jeri said with a sad sigh.
That stopped Rika dead in her tracks.
"What?"
Looking up at her friend, Jeri could see that she had been caught off guard. Defiance was radiating from her in droves, but she could see just the tiniest hint of skepticism in her eyes.
"Good, that means she'll at least listen to me."
"Rika, you're smart, strong, and the best friend a person could ever hope for." Seeing her ease up slightly, Jeri 'dropped the bomb'.
"But you're completely clueless when it comes to matters of the heart."
"What!?"
Not breaking the lock she had on her friends eyes, Jeri continued.
"You grew up cramming your emotions into some dark little hole in the back of your mind Rika. The only ones you ever let yourself feel were anger and occasionally grief. Fear can't be locked away, but I only remember seeing it leak out a few times so that's also an issue. You might be sixteen physically, but emotionally you're younger than Suzie."
Rika gaped as her friend continued.
"You're a HUMAN BEING Rika, A HUMAN. You think that just because you're strong you don't have feelings? I was there when Locomon attacked, I was there when you rescued Calumon from the D-Reaper, I was there when you called out to warn Takato about Beelzemon, and I was there when we thought we would never see any of the digimon again. You've kept your emotions bottled up for so long that you don't even know what they are when you feel them anymore."
Grinding her teeth, Rika was about to 'return fire' but Jeri just ran her over and kept going.
"You're strong, stronger than me and the others in a lot of ways, but here, you have no ground to stand on. I know about your father, and believe me, I know your pain, so don't think for a second that I'm condemning you or judging you, because I'm not. I'm telling you this because I want to help you."
Shutting her mouth, Rika crossed her arms. It wasn't much, but it told Jeri that she was 'waiting' for her to continue.
"Like I said before, you like Takato, quite a bit I'm afraid," Jeri said with a small giggle as she noticed her friend's ears turning red again.
"But at the same time, you're afraid, and you don't know what to do. So instead of risking everything by trying, or moving on from him to someone else and loosing everything, you choose the third option and do nothing, choosing not to risk anything."
"Woah, waoh, hold the phone. Who said anything about me being afraid?" Rika demanded.
"Yet you don't deny liking Takato? So your fear is stronger than your pride, that's actually a good thing, it'll make things much easier."
Eyes ablaze, Rika spun to face her now smiling friend and shot her with her strongest glare, which Jeri ignored like an annoying infomercial.
"I told you that I would get it out of you eventually. You would have saved us a lot of time if you just came out and said it," Jeri said with a sing a song voice.
Rika slumped a bit, but kept her arms crossed.
"So what, it's not like it matters. I'm not the one he's got eyes on, you are," Rika muttered darkly.
For a brief moment, pain flashed across Jeri's face. Rika was surprised to see it, knowing full well that Jeri was almost as good at hiding her emotions as she was. That's when she realized it.
"She wanted me to see that! But why? Why would she want me to see-" Before she could finish the thought, Jeri spoke, and shattered every presumption she had.
"No…he doesn't Rika. His eyes are on you, not me, just like they've always have been."
Looking at her friend is disbelief, Rika was surprised to see that same pained expression she had moments before.
"She's….telling the truth? That's why she let me see it, so I would know she's being honest…but…Takato…likes Jeri right? He always has…not me…"
Jeri let out a tired and sad sigh before patting the spot next to her. Not knowing what else to do, Rika found her body moving on its own accord and sat down next to her friend silently.
"Rika, Takato might have at one time felt something for me…but…he's always felt something towards you, even before he and I became friends." Jeri paused for a moment to gauge her friend's reaction. She could see disbelief was still the most powerful emotion running across her eyes, but mingled with it were confusion, fear, and just a tiny flicker of hope.
"When I first met Guilmon, Takato told me that I was the third person, and the second girl not to be afraid of him. He didn't say much about you at the time, but he did say that I reminded him of you when I didn't show any fear."
Scoffing, Rika rolled her eyes. "Of course I wasn't afraid, I was a Tamer before he was, I still don't see what this has to do with-" again, Jeri cut her off.
"After I got my D-Arc, he said that it was cool that another of his friends had become a Tamer, and that he was sure one day I would be just as strong as you," Jeri continued. Her voice wavered slightly at the mention of Leomon, but it didn't stop her, if anything, it fueled her on.
"When everything was over, and the D-Reaper had been destroyed, Takato was nice enough to….help me."
It struck Rika as odd that her friend was rubbing her wrists nervously, almost bashfully as she spoke, but her attention was mostly fixated on her friends face. Pain and sorrow were easy to see, but there was also happiness and joy, but for one moment, she caught a bitter expression she recognized plain as day.
"When he was helping me, he would tell me stories about what you, he and Henry did as Tamers before everyone else joined. I had heard the stories before, but I asked him to tell them to me anyway. They always made him so…happy, I could feel it coming from him, and I fed off it, kept myself going with it. His happiness and joy were what kept me going. But he was always happiest when he was talking about you…his eyes….they…they would almost shine whenever he said your name," Jeri said screwing her eyes shut for a brief moment.
Swallowing an uncomfortable lump in her throat, Rika watched her friend smile ruefully.
"He always said how thankful he was that he had you and Henry there to help him out. How Henry would teach him new combos or how to use a card he was unsure of, but you, you were different."
Turning to face Rika, Jeri's smile grew even larger. It was strange, her face showed expressions of joy and grief equal in strength as she spoke.
"You were his inspiration Rika, his reason to keep trying no matter how often or how badly he messed up."
Blinking, Rika pointed at herself and raised an eyebrow. "You're joking right?"
Jeri shook her head and snickered softly. "No, I'm not. He said that he wanted to be as strong as you, that he wanted to be as good as you, he STILL compares himself to you Rika, he still looks up to you as a goal to reach, someone that's always stronger than him."
"That's stupid! Takato is stronger than I am! Everyone knows that the only person who would stand a chance of beating him anymore is Ryo!" Rika shouted before thinking even half of what she had just said.
"But to him, you're still stronger than he is. That's why he's kept his distance I think," Jeri said tapping her chin thoughtfully.
Brow wrinkled in confusion, Rika groaned. "Stop talking in riddles Jeri, what are you talking about? So what if he thinks I'm some kind of goal to exceed, it doesn't mean anything other than he's stupid and blind to his own talent."
"Takato is not stupid Rika, you know that better than anyone," Jeri bit back suddenly, causing Rika to hold up her hands in defense.
"Ok, ok, geeze, are you sure you're not a couple?" Rika teased.
With narrowed eyes, Jeri leveled her friend with a hard glare. "Stop trying to change the subject Rika, that's not going to work on me and you, know it."
When Jeri was sure that Rika had gotten the point, she continued.
"He's afraid….but…I don't think he realizes it. He cares a lot for you, but he doesn't think…he's good enough for you…" Jeri worded cautiously.
Scoffing again, Rika gave the brunette a look like she didn't know what she was talking about.
"That's the stupidest thing I've heard since Kazu became a Tamer. If he wasn't good enough to be my friend I wouldn't have let him get within ten feet of me, let alone inside my home."
Shaking her head again, Jeri took a deep breath.
"You know just as well as I do what Takato thinks of himself, and how it….causes problems sometimes. With me he feels safe, he knows that he doesn't have to try and impress me or be something that he's not. That's why….that's why he tried with me and not you."
Hearing a series of pops, Jeri looked up to see her friend cracking her knuckles angrily. It took her a moment, but she as soon as she figured out the problem she was quick to defuse it.
"It wasn't pity Rika! I swear! He really did feel that way for me at one time, he just felt safer with me, he didn't want to get hurt!"
If anything, Rika's face went from angry, to livid.
Seeing that she had just thrown Takato from then frying pan and into the fire, Jeri gathered her wits together to save her friend from what she knew would be a very painful experience.
"Rika, please, try to see it from his eyes," Jeri pleaded, hoping to reach her angered friend.
"Oh, I see it from his eyes alright! He chickened out and used you as a fall back! When I'm done with that coward he'll wish he was never born!" Rika snarled as she pushed herself off the steps.
Reacting faster than the eye could see, Jeri pivoted on her right hand and brought her legs around from behind Rika, knocking the angry redhead on her backside.
"I'm not finished yet," Jeri said coolly as though nothing had just happened.
Slightly stunned from being knocked on her back by Jeri, Rika quietly listened, too surprised to do anything else.
"He felt something for you, and then he developed feelings for me, but I was the one that showed interest back Rika, you didn't. He tried, Kami he tried to get your attention, but you only reacted as a friend would have, so he didn't think you were interested in him that way. Since I at least showed interest in him, he tried to move on with me. Before he became a Tamer, Kazu and Kenta were his only friends, his only friends. He knew that Henry would never leave him, but he was afraid that if he tried pushing things with you, that you would've left him. Just the thought of losing you as a friend scared him to death Rika, that's why he never tried after the D-Reaper; he didn't want to risk losing your friendship!"
Slowly, ever so slowly, Jeri watched as understanding began to show in Rika's pale violet orbs.
"He…but….no….that…."
"That means….that means that this is all my fault! If I hadn't been so worried about my image back then, if I hadn't been so preoccupied with become stronger, I might have noticed, I might have had…NO!"
A tender squeeze on her hand barely caught her attention as realization dawned on her. So deep where her thoughts that she didn't even notice as several tears fell free from her eyes and slid down her cheeks.
Her pride.
The very thing she had always thought to be the source of her strength, had in reality been responsible for her being alone for so long before meeting Takato, and it was the reason for her missing out on what could have been more.
Seeing Rika's silent tears, Jeri held out her arms and coxed her friend into a strong embrace. Hearing her cry, and feeling the hot tears falling across her neck, Jeri did what she always had when her brother had nightmares. Slowly rocking side to side, she whispered kind words of comfort to her friend who clung to her as if her life depended on it.
Renamon eyed the small purple imp carefully. As usual, he was smirking, but this time there was something…different, something almost knowing to it.
"So toot's, wha'cha need all the ways out here hm?" He asked before taking a bite from an apple.
"Why are you out here? Shouldn't you be down there with Ai and Mako?" Renamon asked teasingly. She didn't mean anything by it, but it was always fun to push the small digimon's buttons.
To her surprise, his smirk only grew, and he took another bite.
"Na, d'air granny's here, da old bat don do to good with me o'round, she acts like she thinks I'm gonna badda boom er or some'um. So I gots the day off. But why in the great name Dos might'n you be outs here? And..." Impmon's nose twitched several times before his grin grew even larger.
"And what's was yo do'ing hang'n round ol Ryo?"
If she was surprised, Renamon didn't show it.
"That is of no concern to you, it was a small matter." The comment had the desired effect, and she watched as a small red tick mark appeared on the imps head.
"Hey! Not my fault I'm short, its part o what makes me whose I am, like you always beaten o round da bush like it's gonna bite you oar some'em!"
Sighing, Renamon closed her eyes, and tried to think of how she was going to do this. If she asked to wrong way, she knew he would just start teasing her and she would get nowhere. He was never able to 'get to her' but he did frustrate her on more than one occasion.
"It's….about Rika."
Stopping in mid rant, the small digimon blinked.
"Som'm wrong with DemiZhuqiaomon eh?" Impmon asked with a raised eyebrow as he took another bite from his apple.
"I don't like this; he's acting far more cocky than usual. He's up to something, or he's got something up his sleeve."
"Why are you acting so…different?" Renamon asked carefully.
With one last bite of his apple, Impmon rubbed his now full belly and grinned. "Hmm, that's was good. Been ages since I had me a little snack."
Not one to be ignored, Renamon narrowed her eyes.
"But youse know what I like more dan a good snack?" Impmon asked, his face suddenly adopting a mischievous look with an all too familiar glint in his eyes.
"He's not bluffing; he really does have something up his sleeve." Renamon thought, now thoroughly alarmed.
"I wuv me a good nap, specially in a nice. Tall. Bunk. Bed."
Renamon's eyes widened by a millimeter, but Impmon still caught it.
"Yeah, mazing what one'll see when out fors a midnight stroll eh toots? Shooten stars, pwetty stars, and all kinds o people. Tall, short, big, skinny, brunettes, redheads, going all overs the place."
Looking at the small digimon, Renamon remembered just who it was she was dealing with, Impmon, the Rookie form of Beelzemon.
"Yep, you nevers know what you might see," Impmon said with his trademark grin as he pulled another apple from seemingly nowhere, and held it out to her.
"Apple for ya thoughts?"
Pulling herself together, Rika gave Jeri one last tight squeeze before letting go. For a solid five minutes, she had cried until her eyes hurt, and Jeri did nothing but hold her and reassure her the entire time.
"Feel better now?" She asked gently as she released her friend and pulled away from her.
Her voice cracking, Rika shook her head.
"NO! Of course I'm not ok!"
Jeri smiled halfheartedly. "I had to ask, you know that right?"
Rika snorted. "It's still a stupid question."
Though she didn't say it aloud, Jeri agreed. Whoever thought of that question was dumber than a bag full of hammers.
"At least now you have a chance though. You just have to do it," Jeri said pumping her fist in the air confidently.
Rika's head lowered.
"Its not like I have a chance Jeri, he's still ga-ga over you. I see it every time you two are together. The way he holds your arm, the way her looks at you. He loves you Jeri, even a blind person can see that," Rika said bitterly.
"That's…not what I see Rika, and I'm there when it happens," Jeri replied sadly. Seeing Rika's confused expression, Jeri slid beside her.
"He loves me, that is true, but he…feels responsible for me, like he has to protect me at every turn. He holds my arm because he thinks that I still need his strength to keep going, and when he looks at me, his eyes hold fear, concern, and love in equal parts. That's not what I want from him, that's not what I want from anyone, that's why…I told him what I did."
"Fear and concern? That doesn't make any sense. Jeri's as tough as the rest of us, she can take care of herself just fine. Why would Takato be afraid about anything with her?"
"What…did you say to him?" Rika asked uncomfortably.
Clinching her left hand into a fist, Jeri absentmindedly started rubbing her wrist again.
"I told him…I was grateful for everything that he did for me, for being there…for saving….for helping me so much. I told him that I loved him like a brother, and that I would always think of him as family…that he was in my heart, right along with the rest of my family," Jeri answered sadly.
"But…if you loved him, why would you say that?" Rika asked, now even more confused than before.
Jeri turned to face her, and shocked Rika with the sheer emotional power flowing from her eyes.
"Because, I want someone to love me and see me as who I am, not for someone to see what I once was. Takato helped me through more than I can even try to explain. He was a shoulder for me to cry on, he was a strong arm that held me up, a supportive friend that keep me happy, and will always be my hero, for both times he saved my life."
Seeing Rika's confused expression, Jeri remembered that Rika, like the others, couldn't have known.
Rolling up her sleeve, Jeri held out her left arm with a rueful expression.
"You've never seen it, I know, no one outside my family, Takato, or two others have," Jeri said quietly.
Rika looked at her friends pale white arm. At first she didn't see anything, but when her eyes reached the wrist and forearm, she caught sight of a pale, obviously old, jagged scar.
"JERI! You tried to-"
"NO! Kami no Rika, nothing like that," as she spoke, Jeri rolled down her sleeve calmly and tucked her left arm under her right. "My parents took my brother to see a show, and I stayed behind to catch up on some cleaning." Shuddering, Jeri looked back up at her friend. "I was just washing a few dishes…and…I dropped a glass."
Rika watched Jeri's face turn down and her face become hidden beneath her long bangs.
"The glass went everywhere and it made me jump...I…I guess some of the water got on the floor, but I didn't see it at the time, I was just so worried about getting up the glass that I tripped."
Rika blinked, and figured out what had happened.
"You fell on the glass didn't you?"
Jeri nodded.
"I hit the ground so hard that it knocked me out, I didn't even feel when my arm landed in the glass," Jeri answered sadly.
Not sure of what to do or how to react, Rika remained silent.
"When I came too…Rika…there was so much blood, it made me sick, I could barely move, and…I was cold…so very cold," Jeri said with a shudder before continuing. "I was lucky, Takato came by to surprise me…I guess I surprised him though," Jeri said with a bitter laugh.
"But it was an accident right?" Rika asked sharply.
Jeri looked back to her friend with a hurt expression. "Of course it was an accident; I was never that far down Rika. But, all the same, it ruined anything that might have been between us, at least for me. It scared Takato so much that he wouldn't even let me out of his sight for days, and after that he treated me like I was made of glass. I know he cares, but it's just so frustrating that he can't move past that one accident! I'm not a porcelain doll!"
Rika was taken back by the resolve in Jeri's voice. She was still reeling from finding out about this, the fact that they hadn't told her or the others stung like dagger to the back.
"But…"
Looking up, Rika felt her heart clinch at Jeri's expression. So much pain should never be seen on anyone's face, no matter who they were, let alone Jeri.
"I still love Takato, and I always will. I know it's selfish, but I want to have, I want to look into someone's eyes and not see that fear, that pain. I don't want to relive that moment ever again, and I don't want to make him relive it ever again."
Seeing Jeri turn to focus on her, Rika suddenly felt like her problems were very small in comparison.
"You were first Rika; he cared for you before he did for me. Please, will you give him a chance? Just one?"
Biting her lip, Rika felt her resolve crumbling, but her pride, the source of her pain was still fighting, refusing to accept defeat.
"That…I can't do that Jeri. If you love him, why don't you try again? Show him that you aren't going to fall apart if he's not there every minuet, show him that you're strong and can take care of yourself."
Jeri shook her head. Even in such a dark mood as this, the girl's inner strength was burning brightly.
"No, it's because I love him that I won't put him through that. Besides, you…you would be better for him I think."
Running out of arguments, Rika hit the 'panic' button.
"You're joking right? How could I possible be better for him? You said yourself that he's scared of me, that's not exactly a good way to start off a relationship. You're kind, strong, smart, beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you."
Not backing down, Jeri fired back.
"You're all those things too…well, your kindness is only towards those you care about, but its still there," Jeri half joked before continuing.
"But…there are things I can't do for him, things that I cant be….things that he needs."
Rika again warily raised an eyebrow, asking for clarification.
Turning slightly pink, Jeri stuttered.
"No-no-nothing like that! You've been around Kazu and Kenta too much!" Jeri shouted as she regained her composure.
"Hey, you said it, not me," Rika replied flatly.
'Glaring' at her friend, Jeri spoke.
"I meant that he needs help Rika. I can help you guys out some when it comes to Taming, but even with my D-Arc being linked to Beelzemon, I can't always be there for him. I can be his friend, I can be confident, heck, I can even be his caretaker when he gets banged up, but that's not what he needs."
Again, Rika was surprised by her friend's firm tone. These were not 'thoughts' these were 'beliefs'. She didn't think these things, she knew them.
"So what? You're saying he needs a babysitter or something?" Rika asked grudgingly.
"No, I'm saying that he needs a partner. Someone that can watch his back, someone that will protect him while he's out there fighting. Even when I had Leomon….I couldn't do that. I could only help him. But you, you can stand beside him, you can fight with him."
"Hey! I'm not going to watch his sorry butt all day! I'm not a nurse or his mother!"
Jeri giggled at her friend's reaction.
"I never said you were. And besides, he would be doing the same for you. You two make a better pair than either of you with anyone else. Your strengths fill in each others weakness on the battlefield. Gallantmon is stronger, tougher, and able to fight longer; Sakuyamon is faster and more adaptable. Henry and Ryo can work with anyone, but they do better by themselves when they don't have to worry about hurting a friend on accident."
The more Jeri spoke, the more Rika felt her pride getting cornered. It was losing ground, but it wasn't beaten yet.
"Still doesn't give me a reason to ask him out or anything. Why should I give him a chance when he's chickened out for the last four years?" Rika demanded.
Instead of giving up, Jeri pushed back. She could tell that this was Rika's fear and pride working against her, but for the sake of her friends, she was not about to give in. She knew Rika was running out of excuses when she started shifting problems towards others.
"Because you want him, and because he wants you. You've helped and healed each other more than the rest of us have for either of you. If you hadn't run into Takato, he would only have Kazu, Kenta, Henry and me as his friends, without you, he never would have been able to tap into his courage and become as strong as he is now. And without him, you would still be a cold, lonely, spiteful little girl with a big chip on her shoulder and a grudge against the world. I've talked to your mother and grandmother Rika, and you know what both of them told me?"
The young red haired Tamer felt her blood run cold.
"Mom and grandma know about this?!"
"They told me that the day your father left, was the day you stopped smiling. I've seen the pictures to prove it, I even looked up some pictures for the tournaments you went to, and even the tournaments you won after Ryo disappeared, you never once smiled, not once. Even after my mother died…even after my father remarried, I was still able to smile Rika, I was still able to enjoy living. You didn't, you stopped living."
Her emotions flaring, Rika lashed back.
"What do you know?! Your father never walked away from your family! You never had someone just willingly leave you like you were yesterday's garbage!" Rika hissed.
"No, but I do know what its like to lose the center of your universe, I know what it's like to lose the one person that means more to you than anyone else. I've felt it twice, unless you've forgotten," Jeri replied calmly.
Rika's anger was cut short, and her new found source of energy vanished as shame washed over her.
"That's why I'm asking you to do this Rika, because I don't want you to go through that again…and because I don't want to lose another important person in my life, I cant take that a third time."
Eyes wide, Rika's head turned to Jeri so fast it gave her whiplash.
"What?!"
With sad eyes and a grimacing expression, Jeri looked Rika directly in the eye as she spoke.
"I told you, I love Takato, but I can't protect him, and if he's always worried about protecting me, I'm afraid that something will happen to him, I'm afraid that I'll lose him too."
"She…she loves him…so much…that she's willing…she's willing to give him up just to make sure he will be safe?"
"But why me Jeri? I mean-"
"There is no one that I trust more than you Rika, you're my best friend, and you're the strongest person that I know. That's why I'm asking you to do this, for Takato, for yourself, and for me. Keep him safe, we all need him, but he'll always throw himself in harms way if it means keeping any one of us safe. If you are there, you can keep him safe, you can protect him. All I would be able to do is treat his injuries and cheer him up afterwards. I can't do a single thing for him when it comes to direct fighting."
Link by link, Rika was able to feel the last anchor holding her back loosen.
"I want him safe, and I want him happy, and as long as he is, I will be happy too. From one friend to another, will you do this for me? Keep our Gogglehead happy and safe?" Jeri asked with a small smile.
Feeling the tug of doubt in the back of her mind, Rika's fear made one last play.
"Jeri…what you're asking…it's….it's too much. I can't do that." She felt sick to her stomach, never, not once in her sixteen years of life had she ever played the coward card. It left a vile taste in her mouth, but it was the last card she had left to get out of this, to run away from this situation. Seeing Jeri sigh, she thought that she had gotten away, literally by the skin of her teeth.
She thought wrong.
"I'll make a deal with you. If you ask him out, or allow him to ask you out, and prove to me that you did, I will tell the others about what happened. Not everyone, just Henry, Ryo, Kazu and Kenta. I don't want to frighten Suzi, Ai, or Mako. But if you're willing to face your fear, I'll face mine, I swear it on Leomon's honor," Jeri said as she stood before her friend holding out her hand.
Swallowing nervously, Rika tried to think this through. She was now completely cornered and had no other options left. Her pride had been stripped away from her and her fear was now in a deadlock with her guilt and honor. It was do or die.
Jeri watched closely as her friend battled with herself, the war between her emotions playing across her eyes. Familiar emotions that had ruled her for so long were now losing ground to newer, stronger emotions. Even though the new comers fueled her fears, Jeri could see that they were holding out and not willing to giving up or back down.
"She's frightened of what might happen, but at the same time, her want of him is fighting back with just as much force as her fears. I just wish there was some way to give her that one last push."
Watching, and waiting, all Jeri could do was hope.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Rika clinched her fist, and with a growl, thrust out her hand, grabbing Jeri's tightly.
Though they didn't know it, at that very moment, both of them were thinking the exact same thing.
"Thank you"
Renamon waited for Impmon to continue, but when he didn't, she began to lose patience.
"Aw come on toots, don look so down, its bad fo wrinkles," Impmon teased.
"Impmon, if you are going to joke, then I am leaving. I thought you might be able to help, but I was obviously wrong," Renamon replied coldly as she turned to leave.
"Wo wo wo, hold ya Unimon dair, fine I'll stop sheesh. Some people just have no sense of humor you know dat?" Impmon said crossing his arms disappointedly.
Internally, Renamon was smiling that her ploy worked. Even if he did have leverage at the moment, his curiosity was his undoing, and as always, it would play him right into her paws.
"I have been trying to understand why Rika allowed Takato to become leader of the Tamers, and why she decided to follow him at all. It's been bothering me for some time."
Impmon's jaw dropped.
"Dats it? Dat's the reason youse pull de ol audios I'm outta here routine?"
Narrowing her eyes, Renamon gave the noticeably smaller digimon a silent warning.
"Ok ok ok sheesh. Youse wanna know why red decided ta follow goggle boy? Probably de same reason as me. He wont t'afraid o her like everyone else was," he replied simply with a shrug.
"Excuse me?"
Sighing as he closed one eye, Impmon narrowed his second and his ears drooped.
"Look, its no secret, I aint exactly da easiest mon to get along with ya know?" Seeing Renamon nod, he continued. "Well, red's pwetty much da same ya know? She aint dat nice, kinda mean really, hard, mad at da world type. She's done got short changed in life, so she holds da world to da interest it owes er."
"I fail to see how this explains anything, other than you have insulted my Tamer, and seem to have a death wish," Renamon replied icily.
Gulping, Impmon continued from where Renamon had cut him off.
"Well, youse see, after a while…youse get…youse get lonely ya know? Push all da people away, an they start pushing back, den youse end up bum outta luck on ya own." Closing his eyes, Impmon took a deep breath.
"At fwirst, it aint so bad, ch'a tink that youse better off withoutta them all gumming up ya style. No body to tell ya what to do, no body to judge ya, and no body to hurts ya. But after a while longer, ya start getten a huwrt in ya chest ya know? Feels like dares dis big hole, an it keep on gettin bigger and huwrts ya mor and mor. Den, ya don't wrelly care what kinds o attention you getn, somten beddar den noten right?"
Running what he was saying over in her head, Renamon pieced together what he as trying to say.
"You're saying that…Rika was starved for attention?"
The small digimon shook his head.
"Na, not eggsactly, she wanted someone dat wont fraid o her. Getten ottention is easy, repeat customers, dats hard," he clarified.
"And why do you think that was the case?" Renamon pushed, it made some sense, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out where he came up with such an idea in the first place.
Smiling sadly, Impmon looked up at the tall yellow fox with one of his rare genuine honest smiles.
"I knows toots, cause er eyes was da same as mine. I knows that look good, been staring at it in da water for a long time b'fo coming here and meeten youse guys. It aint dar now, but it was den. She always had dis er um, bounce in er step round ol gogglehead ya know? Kinda made cha think she ad a lil some'm fo him." Impmon said with a shrug.
Renamon pondered over what Impmon had said and watched him switch feet, almost like he was trying to shrink under her scrutinizing gaze.
"Hey, I's gotta go, its getten near lunch time and I'se wanna eat. See yu round toots!" Impmon called out before jumping down off the fence and scrambling towards his tamer's home. By the time Renamon realized that he had left, it was too late to catch him.
"I'll speak to him later, for his sake; he had better hope Rika never finds out that he knows about last night." Troubled, and still not completely satisfied with the answers she had been given, Renamon took off in the direction of her last stop of the day before returning to her Tamer.
End Chapter 2
AN: Ok, so this chapter took a long time to get up, I know, and I'm sorry, but its so important for my future work that I wanted to get it perfect, I rewrote the darn thing three times from the ground up, and I'm still not entirely satisfied with how it turned out. Now, some of you might think Takato was OCC here, but you have to realize that he is only sixteen, and to find anyone, especially someone you care about in that situation is terrifying, and it sticks with you for the rest of your life. Some might not agree with how I have Jeri in this chapter, or my later work, but my reasoning for how she is reacting is simple. She wants to be seen as an equal, and doesn't want Takato to always think of himself as having to protect her every minute of every day, she's very independent in my timeline, almost as much as Rika. She knows that Takato will only see her as the damsel in distress, so she's moving on with her life while trying to help him do the same.
So, liked it, loved it, hated it, despised it, please let me know. I realize that I just up and disappeared off the radar for a while, and I'm truly sorry about that, I have a lot of reading to catch up on, a lot of reviews to write, and many more chapters to churn out, so I ask that you please be patient and give me a little more time, I'll respond to ALL reviews I just need more time.
Till next time, Ja Ne!