In the dim glow of firelight and coals that cast its shadows off of the trees like dancing phantoms that eternally battled with the darkness were two men. The fire lights embers and sticks heat were burning out and the little light left was flickering makings light dance back and forth in lazy swaying motions off of the copse of vegetations and trees that surrounded the men in question, just barley illumination the surroundings. It was a grassy knoll with perfectly green sweet grass and no rocks, jagged or otherwise, to be seen anywhere that would ruin the peaceful and clearly well chosen campsite. The only rocks present were neatly lined up in a circle around the fire to prevent a forest fire. A dusty road could be observed through the trees, right next to the camp. Stars could be observed twinkling, blinking bright and merrily in a dazzling array of colors displayed in a cloudless sky. The moon was a beautiful full one illuminating what little the fire failed too light up. A stream or a brook could be heard gurgling nearby and the air was fresh with the smell of wild flowers and smoke from the fire. Bugs and crickets were making a musical night production and their sound was the only thing apart from the crackling of a fire that interrupted the silence of the clearing. There were no animals in the clearing but some nocturnal ones came peered curiously, drawn by the smell of meat and the light of a fire. But these creatures were soon chased off by the sight of two large animals inhabiting the clearing. Apart from the two human men in the glade and the bug population the open space of trees was empty and deathly quiet.

The two men in question were rather still and he shadows from their bodies didn't make much darkness. The first one was clearly the younger of the two and was asleep curled up in a sleeping bag and looking more peaceful and quiet than he had ever looked awake. His hair was golden yellow looking and spiked out wildly over tan bronze skin. There was a telltale whiter patch of skin in the youth's head that was barley noticeable but it was clear he wore something around his forehead regularly. Whatever this item was that he wore around his forehead clearly prevented his hair from dragging in his face because at the moment his hair was covering his eyes and other parts of his head. His hands were fisted and just barley peeking out of his sleeping bag held close to his chest. The boy clearly was asleep with his eyes closed and the only sounds made by him were the occasional mumbles and rhythmic breathing. The boy looked to be of the mid teens and he slept facing the fire. No bright grin adorned his face and his eyelids concealed his usual mischievous twinkle that usually suggested he was up to something that was not good for everyone else.

The other man in the darkened glade was in stark contrast with the first. For one, the man was awake and the first was asleep. The man was elderly and the first was young. The older mans hair was long and hung down his back and the firsts short hair went no farther than past his shoulders. The man in question was simply taking watch quietly and looking fondly at his young sleeping student and protecting him from potential danger. He had done this many times before; staying awake long after Naruto slept while casting his keen sensing abilities far and wide for potential danger. The second man that was still awake in the grove of thick wild trees was older, much older to the point that he looked to be forty five maybe fifty, with silver white spiky hair grown to a magnificently long hair length held back with only a ponytail. The man had two spikes of shorter white hair that was left out of the ponytail and would have draped across the mans face if not for the curious, horned head protector. It was curious for the simple reasons that it was wider than normal headbands, it was horned and it had not a village insignia or symbol but the kanji for 'oil' engraved upon it. The man had on his usual bright red jacket, beige green pants and shirt. His feet were bare and the shoes that were clearly his were geta sandals lying next to him, conspicuously absent from his body.

The soft light radiance of the fires embers and flames just barley almost revealing enough of his elderly face and body to display his red line tattoo's that ran down his face and the fishnet shirt covering his chest. He had a kunai that he was using to absent mindedly poke and prod the fire with. He had a slightly amused grin on his face that went so wide his eyes were nearly closed shut. The man also seemed to be stifling laughter and snickers whenever his student mumbled unintelligibly in his sleep. The man laughs because his usual entertainment of the night, when he wasn't of at women's bathhouses or the red lantern district, was just about to begin and it took the form of his sleep talking student.

Jiraiya snorted and struggled to stifle another bout of laughter at the thought of it. It figures that Naruto couldn't even stay silent, still and peaceful even when he was asleep. Only Naruto, master of pranks and the unpredictable could pull off the impossible by managing to stay active and asleep at the same damn time.

The poor boy had been sleep talking about a girl since they left Konoha two and one half years ago and possibly even longer. one night on the first month mark when his student had gone to bed early after a very grueling training session Jiraiya had been quite surprised to hear his student sleep talking. Kept going on and on about a girl mumbling her name with slightly pink cheeks. It quickly became apparent that he was smitten with the girl and Jiraiya couldn't stop laughing. Jiraiya had been waiting a very long time for the opportunity to tease him mercilessly about his crush. It had been two and a half years since he had taken the blonde as his student and he had yet to tease him like he normally would have. Jiraiya would have done it by now but he had realized that he needed to keep Naruto as focused as possible with Akatsuki floating around just waiting to kidnap him.

During their training a year ago Jiraiya and Naruto had the misfortune to be ambushed and Naruto was in no way strong enough to hold Itachi off. Naruto had nearly gotten taken and Jiraiya still shivers at the threats Tsunade had made against his manhood when Jiraiya asked her for a training trip with Naruto. When it became apparent that Naruto needed his training stepped up Jiraiya was forced to give up his laid back teaching style that involved lots of liquor and sleep in favor one where he was actually awake and instructing. There were a few rare opportunities to take jabs at the brat and Jiraiya would think about saying something every time the damn kid started calling him 'pervy sage' or 'ero-sennin' but somehow Jiraiya would develop a damn conscience and keep his mouth shut. Hell of a bad time to develop a conscience in Jiraiya's opinion because he was loosing his mind from boredom. He hadn't peeked, 'researched', or gotten wasted in nearly three years.

Jiraiya had heard Naruto claim that his female teammate Sakura Haruno was his first crush and had even seen the boy try to hug the girl during the time Jiraiya had been teaching him toad summoning. The aged toad sage remembered the girl in question and shuddered. The parallels were all too obvious to Jiraiya. The Sakura girl was far too much like his old teammate Tsunade with a violent short temper and a killer punch when angry. If the girl had blond hair instead of pink Jiraiya would swear up and down that Tsunade had gone and had a daughter with telling him. The gaki had even been punched straight into the other side of the street when he had attempted to hug her, something eerily reminiscent of his own days as a new Genin. And yet every night it was the same thing, the kid would go to bed exhausted from a full day of training and Jiraiya would stay up late scanning the forest around them with his advanced ninja skills to ascertain whether or not all was safe. If things were deemed safe Jiraiya would stay awake a little longer just to hear his student sleep talk. It was amusing to say the least but it made Jiraiya genuinely happy that Naruto had found someone. But ever since he'd had the kid and taken him on the training mission he had hear a different name than 'Sakura-Chan' come from the gaki's mouth during his nightly dreams.

Although amusing and funny Jiraiya was certain that the kid would probably stop thinking of the girl given sometime on the road and some of the distractions his training; after all even the brightest and fiercest of flames usually die-out given enough time if unrequited. Jiraiya had never been more dead wrong in his life if he had tried. It had been two and a half long grueling years filled with ten thousand different training exercises and jutsu's, towns and bazaars, traveling and people, curious places and curios of all shapes and sizes. Yet this girl he was so smitten with was still haunting his dreams every night like some sort of teasing temptress siren call he couldn't resist even if he wanted to.

Nearly every night the brat would dream and mumble her name. He obviously had it bad for the girl.

before whenever he had taken the kid with him, like when he went searching for Tsunade to become Hokage the kid rarely sleep talked and it was usually something stupid like ramen or becoming Hokage. Not that Jiraiya would begrudge the kid his dreams and Jiraiya had been told that even he on occasion sleep talked. Jiraiya was worried though, as of late the closer they got back to Konoha the more the kid had been having nightmares. The dreams were horrible ones that seemed to tear at Naruto by the looks of it leaving him with darkly rimmed eyes and yawning a lot. Jiraiya had never managed to find out what they were about because Naruto was quiet during them and Jiraiya only knew they were nightmares because Naruto would shoot up in a sitting position with cold sweat. Jiraiya never even knew why he was having nightmares since they were returning home. He should be happy. Despite the obvious sleep deprivation going on Naruto somehow managed to stay active and going, going, going all day; a feat which leaves Jiraiya feeling old and wondering how Naruto gets all that energy.

Jiraiya notices his student sleep get deeper and a little more restless. He observed silently as Naruto slightly blushed and smiled and roll from his side to his stomach. Jiraiya smirks as the blonde finally stops shifting restlessly, a slight blush still coloring his cheeks and face. Naruto's lips part sucking in a breath to mumble "… mmm… my sweet… Hina-Chan…".

Heh Heh. The kid has got it really, really bad. The training trip is coming to an end and my sources tell me that Akatsuki has backed off by now. It should be safe to loose the serious attitude since we are close enough to Konoha. I want to see his face when I make fun of him. Aw hell I'll do it tomorrow. I better keep my camera at the ready on me so I can forever remember (and show others) the look on his face. I remember the look on his face when I taught him information gathering by having him flirt. I told him it would also be useful to get any girls he wanted; kids eyes glazed over and he smiled like he had just been told all his wildest dreams had just come true. Probably figured this would come in handy for asking out this Hyuuga girl. Wonder if I can use this in my latest Icha tactics novel: "Brashest youth meets the shyest rabbit." I really like that. Kid will never know I did it anyways since he never reads my work. Like a KID could understand or appreciate my works of art.

Jiraiya fought back a big yawn with some difficulty and shifted his weight and body to get more relaxed. Jiraiya then threw his aged silvered haired head backwards and up to face the stars and to examine the heavens to get an idea of what time it was. Ah. It was nearly twelve at night. Only a short hour had passed by since his young apprentice had fallen asleep and it had taken the usual thirty minutes before he started talking in his sleep. Jiraiya had started the first watch because even if Akatsuki was around there were sure to be bandits or thieves. It was more paranoia than anything that caused Jiraiya to bother with watches because this WAS the Konoha forest and no band of thieves with a sane and rational mind would attempt to set a bandit camp up in the Konoha forest. The moment they tried to steal from someone Konoha would hear about it and the thieves would be dealt with faster than a frog in the Aburame compound. They were only a week's walk away from Konoha (or a three day run for a ninja) and the kid couldn't have been giddier. The kid had been daydreaming more and more of late, spacing out at the oddest of times and it would take a pretty violent kick to wake him up. Naruto had even walked into a wall while day dreaming in a dazed sort of way yesterday, complete with a blush and a smile with vacant eyes on his face.

Kid claimed he was just happy to be retuning to Konoha. Course Jiraiya knew it was for different reasons than the boy claimed he was so happy. Granted the brat might also be happy to be returning to Konoha. Naruto was like Minato in that way, fiercely loyal to Konoha even until the bitter end. Jiraiya fully expected the kid would try to track down 'Hina-Chan' so that he could bumble horribly in an attempt to ask the girl out. Jiraiya remembered the girl in question. Jiraiya had even met her on occasion at the hospital after the defection of the Uchiha. First time Jiraiya had met her was when he caught spying on Naruto during training in the month that led up to the Chunin exams. Jiraiya could not have been more delighted with the choice. Jiraiya had even known the girls mother because Minato and Hiashi were good friends in the days before the demon attacked. Hinata was a Hyuuga and was going to be every bit as beautiful as her mother. She was also kind and sweet and most of all she obviously wanted to jump the clueless boy's bones.

It was very amusing at first to Jiraiya that Naruto had picked up his fathers clueless idiocy and endlessly oblivious nature to women but it was also something that made the womanizing toad sage cry with shame. Every where they went on their travels women were flirting with Naruto left and right and he never understood why they were acting that way. The boy was handsome and was every bit of the heart stopper his father was in terms in looks now that he was taller, more mature looking, and Jiraiya managed to get the kid to wear mostly black instead of the OH-DEAR-GOD orange he had been sporting. The kid had even started to use his head more and got smarter. Naruto used to scream regularly and rush head first into things. Jiraiya had done a miracle and managed to change that. Now Naruto slowed down and thought about what it was he was doing before he did something. Now Naruto talked in regular tones that any other person used on a regular basis, not screeching in decibels that only Gai and Rock Lee could understand. Naruto understood when to whisper and could come up with logical reasons as to why. Jiraiya had even worked wonders on Naruto's short temper. Overall Naruto was calmer and didn't brag as much.

Jiraiya had expanded Naruto's range of jutsu's and had even started him on his element train. Naruto's element is wind. Jiraiya still had a large grin from that one because he safeguarded Minato's jutsu scrolls for Naruto. Naruto didn't realize that he had inherited his father's element and was learning from his own fathers training scrolls and notes. Naruto had even wrote down his own ideas and actually improved the scroll.

This cute red headed girl his age had come up to Naruto one time asking to "eat lunch" with him (she even made pretend air quotes when she asked him), eyeing him hungrily and the idiot had said "sorry I need to get back to training." The poor girl looked completely crushed and Jiraiya fumed angrily that the idiot didn't understand he was being asked out on a date with such a beautiful girl. One particularly voluptuous woman with black wavy hair a year or two older than him tried batting her eyelashes at Naruto and Naruto asked if she had something her eye. Another had actually walked up and interrupted their training, and boldly asked if he "had a wallet in his pocket or was he happy to see her" and the kid didn't understand what she had meant. Jiraiya couldn't believe it. The girl had practically shoved the obvious intent in the boys face and he STILL didn't fucking get it. The girl was being about as subtle as a rock to the face and Naruto didn't realize he was being hit on. The last straw however, the thing that made Jiraiya curl up into a ball and cry for hours with shame was when a girl who had been hanging out with him while they were at this one town for Naruto's stealth training actually told Naruto "I like you". She had told Naruto she had feelings for him and been damned blunt about it. Naruto being, well Naruto, had promptly said "I like you too, you're a good friend." The girl had dumped her food on him and walked away leaving behind a confused Naruto covered with yakitori. After that Jiraiya needed a strong, strong drink and some serious thought about Naruto's future.

Jiraiya glanced at the sleeping youth in question and was once again assuaged with memories of a young boy with golden yellow hair and periwinkle blue eyes he had once known. A once-youth that had long since passed away, left the world of the living and looked remarkably like the 15 year old the toad sage was looking at now.

Naruto had grown considerably tall for his age due to an absence of a ramen filled diet. Jiraiya still remembers the height he had been beforehand and how Naruto had shot up within the first month of travel after being forced to eat like a regular human being. His hair had grown longer with two prominent spikes of hair hanging down to the bottom of his cheeks. Another plus in Jiraiya's opinion because the girls had been all over him and Naruto also looked more regal and like a ninja to be reckoned with. His face had angled out and had long since lost its baby fat. Naruto's face had been round as a fat beach ball and now his face and head was a handsome oval shape. Another plus that made women everywhere they went chase the boy. His body had filled out with thick strong arms, a broad back and shoulders complete with compact muscular legs. Naruto had been strong but hadn't been able to build muscle very well despite being a little training demon. So no matter how strong he was in the past he always ended up looking like an bright orange twig. Jiraiya had been able to correct that with a proper diet and training regimen, not only making him stronger but also look like a strong ninja and attractive. His skin which had always been a little brown had tanned light bronze considerably from hours of rigorous training and working under the harsh and unforgiving sun. To sum it up, not only had he grown in leaps and bounds in physical and mental strength but he was what women usually described as 'tall, dark and handsome'.

Naruto was his father in miniature. His face was still slightly rounder than his fathers had been, giving him just a hint of his mother in his face. He had the same mull-headed stubbornness and a temper as fiery as Kushina's vivid red hair that she was known for. But he was his father's son no less and Jiraiya felt like he had Minato back sometimes when he talked with Naruto. When Jiraiya was younger he was as loyal as the anbu but it still amazed him how loyal Minato had been when he had agreed to train Minato. It was almost as if Minato lived, ate, slept, and breathed Konoha. It wasn't by any means an obsession in Jiraiya's opinion, merely that Konoha was his home and life; something Minato would do anything for. A sentiment Jiraiya shared. So it felt like he was sitting with Minato once more when he saw just how loyal, loving, and willing Naruto was when it came to Konoha. Jiraiya had seen that same passion and dedication to Konoha, its people, and his comrades and friends. That zeal to love Konohagakure, the fire country and its people no matter what and protect it to the bitter and dark, terrible end.

Jiraiya loved Naruto for that but at the same time he could not comprehend it. He could understand for everyone else but he didn't when it came to Naruto. Jiraiya had heard some things about his godson's childhood from old Sarutobi and it made Jiraiya ashamed he couldn't be there for Naruto. But Jiraiya wanted to hear it from Naruto himself, to get the kid to let out some of that anger and sorrow. Jiraiya had finally forced Naruto to tell him about his childhood when Naruto had woken up screaming from a nightmare, something the kid didn't want to do. Not even threatening to stop his training had got the kid talking. That alone told Jiraiya that Naruto really didn't want to think or remember about it, much less speak of it. It had taken a lot of convincing to get the kid talking and even then Jiraiya had gotten the bare minimum of information. What little Jiraiya HAD gotten still made Jiraiya's hackles raise and his blood turn acidic with bloodlust at the brief amount of information he had received. It made Jiraiya feel bad about every time he had caught the kid hording food. It wasn't because the kid was greedy, Jiraiya realized, but because he had just gone hungry so many times or gone dumpster diving for food more time than he could count when he was younger and feared going hungry again. Jiraiya's respect for his dead sensei, old monkey face, had taken a serious hit the day Jiraiya came to realize this.

After Jiraiya had heard a little about Naruto's harsh childhood things about Naruto started to make sense and they were obvious. All you had to do was look closely. It explained Naruto's eating habits. Naruto had never been allowed in any restaurants or stores back in Konoha and so he was forced to eat ramen twenty-four-seven. It wasn't by choice. Naruto had always eaten extremely fadt and now Jiraiya realized it was because his food was always taken from him when he was younger in an attempt to starve him. Naruto also had never realized that food that wasn't ramen could actually taste good because the food given to him by the orphanage caretakers were always rotten or made purposely disgusting. Naruto had absolutely refused to say anything more about his time in the orphanage other than about the food; something that concerned Jiraiya.

Jiraiya had been shocked to realize that Naruto didn't like orange as much as he claimed. It was just Naruto's excuse for wearing the hideous, neon orange jumpsuit with the fur collar. Naruto never said he didn't like orange or that he wasn't obsessed with it like he claimed but Jiraiya knew when he was being lied to. The orange jumpsuit was the only thing he could afford because they constantly overcharged him or kicked him out of the store as well as it was the only thing they would sell to him. Jiraiya realized that Naruto had the ability to hide so well at such a young age because he HAD to learn fast or else. Villagers were vengeful and vindictive, cruel and without empathy when it came to Naruto. Naruto had been sent to the hospital more times in one month than the anbu mortality rate during wartimes.

What really angered Jiraiya was when he learned that Naruto wasn't comfortable being touched by human beings, even hugs made him nervous. It made Jiraiya's blood burn with fry to realize that Naruto just wasn't familiar or used to those bits of affection like hugging or pats on the head. No, instead human contact made him uneasy because ten years of physical and emotional abuse made him expect to be hit instead of hugged. It was practically conditioned into Naruto. Naruto just hid this fact a little better than some of the other things that the toad sage had learned and forced himself to not shy away from others.

Jiraiya also realized that Naruto was somewhat of a street rat with the things he knew and the people he could be comfortable with. It was a testament to Naruto's hardships and it taught Jiraiya a little more about the childhood Naruto wouldn't talk about without being forced to. The fact that Naruto knew how to keep warm without a fire by taking leafs, rags or even balled up bits of paper and shoving into your shirt or jacket made Jiraiya livid. Or that Naruto knew that if you were sleepy, cold and didn't have enough money for a hotel that sleeping in the alleyway behind a clothing washer and dryer business was the best because "the heating vents they have there keep the area warm". Jiraiya was pissed off at the village of Konohagakure because Naruto had practically bounced off the walls in excitement when he was given a new pair of shoes when Jiraiya discovered the old ones were about five years old and falling apart. Receiving a free pair of brand new and unused shoes had actually made his day!

Naruto was easily able to get along with hobos and prostitutes, thieves and liars, runaways and crazy people who wandered the streets, knew how to recognize the cutthroats and murders as well as to avoid them. Naruto was an excellent judge of character and knew better than to trust someone at face value, could wind his way through crowds and navigate hidden back alleys of cities he has NEVER BEEN TOO before, can spot at first glance a pickpocket and successfully stop it before it happened. And while Jiraiya thought it was horrible that a twelve year old had this sort of knowledge and experience it was also a plus for someone in the ninja arts.

But at the same time Jiraiya had grown a sort of angered and bitter resentment about his late sensei's incompetence when Jiraiya learned some other unsavory qualities about his apprentice's upbringing. For one thing: Naruto could barley read. It was true. Naruto had barley begun to have been taught the bare basics when he was six, by a grudging Chunin who then went to jail for six months by refusing to obey the Hokage's orders after the third reading lesson. After that seven more Chunin and one Genin went to jail for refusing the Hokage's orders and wouldn't even have a first lesson with Naruto. Sarutobi had tried to teach Naruto himself but with his own son and grandson, the ever busy job as Hokage and the council's subtle efforts to stop Naruto's growth, Naruto couldn't even read the most basic of sentences without trouble when Jiraiya had taken him in as an apprentice. It was a wonder that no one noticed the real reason Naruto avoided writing up mission reports or the real reason he failed the academy two times. It was a freaking miracle that the kid had been able to understand the scroll of sealing all those years ago and learn the Kage bushin move. This and the fact that he only had had a few hours to learn a extremely hard A rank move made the kid a damned genius to rival the Nara's in Jiraiya's opinion.

Jiraiya had only discovered this when he caught Naruto pretending to read a jutsu scroll upside down and even then Naruto didn't admit it until he had forced him to. Naruto had been ashamed but Jiraiya assured him that it was nothing to be ashamed about and that it was the villages fault. Jiraiya had taught Naruto to read himself, slowly correcting Naruto's writing mistakes and teaching him good penmanship, how to read words and eventually full sentences. After six months, at the age of fourteen, Naruto was finally literate. It turns out Naruto actually enjoyed reading and learning because the boy sucked up the knowledge like a sponge whenever Jiraiya gave him a scroll. It did not matter what the subject was: botany, geography, fauna and flora, psychology, math, ninja theory, fiction, and even politics. Naruto sucked in the information faster than he sucked food; another habit that gives Jiraiya a clue as to Naruto's childhood. Naruto was now a fluent reader and he loved it, though he still had trouble sometimes.

Jiraiya remember his late prized student and his wife-in-secret and mourned despite the sense of pride he'd glow with at their memories. Now it was up to him to guard his god-son and protect him. He wanted his god-son happy and be dammed if it meant the only way to do it was getting the kid a girl he was going to get the kid a girl!

"Hinata…" Naruto mumbled sleepily, a content beatific smile gracing his features, startling Jiraiya out of his musings. Looking skyward once more Jiraiya realized he had been thinking for more than an hour and that it was about midnight if not later. Searching the forest for chakra signatures and finding none he decided it was time to get some sleep because know Naruto he was going to be begged for more last minute training.

Jiraiya laid down, sighing tiredly and shifted for a more comfortable position. He was contemplating the biggest and most galling obstacle of all for his plans to get Naruto a woman. Or more correctly 'Hina-Chan'.

The biggest problem was getting Naruto to accept his generous help.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

dear readers,

See? Im back and better than ever people! I'm going to be doing this in every chapter: going back and adding stuff, changing things, more descriptions, adding plot bunnies I wish I had thought of sooner, and generally just making the story better. I felt like for my first fanfiction there wasn't much character development or much of anything going on. So I fixed it up. Besides this allows me to add in ideas I hadn't thought of yet. If I had tried throwing them in later on in the story it would have felt like the canon. Kishimoto left some major plot holes in the canon am I right or am I right? For one I don't get how Naruto wouldn't have been able to notice the kage bushin method being used and then the subseuent memories recieved. Its only his signature move. Seems to me after the 5,600th time you would have said "heeeyyy… something feels different…" Seems to me kishi only added that bit in after the time skip and hoped no one would think it odd that Naruto hadn't noticed yet.

See what I'm talking about here is my major pet peeve when it comes to fanfiction: the "oh-this-would-be-cool-just-add-it". This is what happens when someone has a plot or an aspect of the story that's important but then they get a brilliant idea and instead of going back and changing things so that idea can be feasible and make sense they just toss it into the story and hope for the best. This creates plot holes and I cant friggin stand plot holes. Its like the titanic to me, the story is great and then some asshole that ends up dooming you all screams into the communications phone "full speed ahead!"

There. Rant over. Anyways, I'm much happier with my work than I was before. Proud really.

Till next time.

-He will knock four times