Hank, by this point, wasn't even using words. He was just sputtering, incoherently. Bill was conflicted on his emotions, and didn't know whether to be terrified, or to be ecstatic. Dale was ranting to no-one in particular about how he was right and the rest of them were all "government sheeple" for not believing him. Boomhauer, on the other hand, was jumping around, and spinning, and talking faster than normal about how much he loved life, and how he was never leaving.

After a few moments, Hank regained his thought, and was absolutely furious. He was at the point of anger where all signs of rage are washed away, leaving only hateful words and destructive actions in a calm tone. He looked up at Boomhauer.

"Boomhauer, I swear, if we are stuck here, and cannot get back home, I will quite literally kick your ass- or flank, I don't know what to call it- so hard that it will break my leg. And with my broken leg, I will limp to where you landed, and start hitting your head against the nearest rock or tree. Repeatedly. And then you will most likely be dead. What I'm trying to get at here is that I will kill you."

All of them were deathly silent. It was common for Hank to threaten to kick someone's ass, and just as common for him to follow through with it. What they never heard, however, was a completely serious threat to murder someone. Under the circumstances, they supposed that it made sense, with being separated from his lawn, his job, and, above all, his family, but it was still eerily dark to hear him make a death threat.

They took this moment of stunned silence to look around them. Hank was a normal earth pony, slightly taller with a more muscular build than the rest, with a dull yellow coat and dark brown mane. Dale was also an earth pony, a bit shorter than Hank, with more of a lanky figure, a pure white coat, and a startling vibrant orange mane. Bill seemed to have got the short end of the stick, the shortest and fattest of them, with a neon pink coat and purple mane. Boomhauer, in contrast, seemed to have got it the best of them all, with a tall, muscular figure, dark maroon coat, jet black mane, and two glorious wings.

Looking around, it seemed that, yes, everything was in fact animated. It was almost hard to wrap your mind around, having everything suddenly all cartoon-y. Even though it was impressive, and even beautiful, it was different from the reality of theirs.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Hank was the first to pipe up, saying "Now are we just going to stand around here all day, or are we going to find some type of civilization."

They all agreed with Hank without hesitation, in fear he would snap.

After a few obscenity laced minutes of trying to locate some proof that here were other ponies, ("Dammit, why can't civilization be in the middle of the woods?" Dale asked at one point) they finally found a house isolated in the middle of the forest. Well, perhaps you couldn't really call something like that just a house- it had to be at least five stories high, and was actually a hollowed out tree with a house inside.

"Well, should we, uh... break in?" Dale asked, sheepishly.

"Now, hold on a second, I'm sure that there's some kind of law against hat. Even cartoon horses have laws. Probably," Hank replied, still with a hint of anger in his voice. With good reason, too. On the whole walk to this place, he had been thinking about the chance that he would be stuck there, and the things he might never get to enjoy again. No Peggy... no Bobby... no Ladybird... no Buck Strickland... no Alamo beer...

"Well, I for one think we should break in. You know, just to take a look around, wait for the owner of the place to come back."

"Dale, that's breaking and entering."

"No it's not!"

"Well, we're going to be breaking into this guy's- pardon me, this stallion's house and then entering it."

"...oh. Well, it's not breaking and entering if the door's unlocked!"

Hank simply facepalmed (facehoofed?) at Dale's stupidity. "Okay, fine, you guys try to break in, I'm going to go look for actual proof of civilization. Hope y'all have fun breaking the law."

"We will!" Dale exclaimed, waving to Hank. Since he wasn't quite accustomed to walking on four legs, he fell over.

And with that, Hank walked away.

Maybe there's still hope, Hank thought, walking down a crude path paved with stones. It was rather uncomfortable to walk on (he made a mental note to buy some shoes, or at least horse-shoes.) Maybe there's a portal back to Arlen. Maybe there's a propane establishment here. Maybe they serve beer. Maybe it's Alamo beer! As he was deep in thought, he bumped into another pony- or rather a zebra. His glasses fell off again.

"Oh, I'm sorry to have disrupted your glasses," she said. She muttered "Maybe if your reflexes were quicker than molasses..."

"Hey, I heard that! And, besides, I'm not bad with reflexes, I was just thinking. Really hard." As he put his glasses back on, he looked at he figure speaking to him. She seemed a bit taller than him, though that may have just been due to the fact that she had a mohawk. She had a couple golden loops around her neck, with a similar set of rings around her left-front leg, and a set of earrings that looked vaguely similar. He also noticed that on her flank, there was a swirly-type imprint. "Um, excuse me, miss? I was just curious, what's that on your... um... flank- not, not that I was looking or anything like that!"

"Oh, surely you can't be serious- perhaps you're just delirious? Have been in a cave, in the dark? It's called a cutie-mark. Everypony gets one as they mature- oh, don't tell me, you don't have yours?"

"Now, no need to be insulting! I'm just new in town, and I'm not quite used to the customs yet." He paused for a moment. "I do have one, right?" He spun around, trying to check his flank. The zebra just laughed. He noted how humiliating it was and finally located it. It was, of course, in the shape of a propane tank. "Huh. Well I'll be damned." He stood up, trying to act like that never happened. "So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

She sighed. "I was out to the local market- and maybe to get a haircut- but these guards stopped me at the gate to town, stating with a somber frown, 'We are truly sorry, we are, Miss Z, but the town's closed- princess's orders, you see.'"

"Wait, do you always talk in rhyme? Also, the town itself is closed?"

"It's simply my custom, there's no need to pout! Oh, and yes, we're all locked out."

"Well that's just bull! Tell you what, Ill go sort things out with these guard fellas, okay? Oh, and I probably should mention that there are some guys trying to break into your place, I think. I don't know 'em, so you should probably check it out."

The zebra simply let out a quick shriek and ran back towards her home. Hank cantered towards the city gates.

After half an hour, the trio had still not been able to open the door.

"Bill, are you sure it's unlocked?" Dale shouted.

The first method they'd tried was just to open it. Sadly, none of them had any clue how to wrap their hooves around something, so that was a problem. The second thing they tried was using their mouths. This didn't work either, and besides, Bill had gone first, and no-one wanted to use the handle after it had Bill's saliva on it. Their third and current attempt was to have Boomhaurer try to pry the door open with his wing. Neither of the plans have made any progress.

"Yes, I'm sure that the door's unlocked!" Bill was standing on top of a nearby bush to look in the window. Dale pushed hm off.

"Let me see! Oh, it is unlocked. Huh."

"Gribble, come on, dang ol'... ain't gonna work, just gonna be locked. Probably has some kinda witch's voodoo, black magic curse on it, tell ya what. Dang ol'... magic..."

At this point, out of nowhere, there was a strike of lightning and the deep rumble of thunder.

"MAY YOUR SOULS BE FOREVER TRAPPED IN TARTARUS, TORTURED BEHIND THE IRON PORTCULLIS!" A mighty voice boomed. The source of it seemed to have been from a zebra. Both Bill and Dale ran as quick and as fast away as they could. Boomhauer lingered for a moment in awe before joining them.

"WOOO-HOOO! Yeah, man, talkin' 'bout, just saw dang ol' Zecora in reality, man, like, wait till them guys on them forums hear about this!"

Bill looked over at Boomhauer. "Wait, how do you know her name?" he asked, suspiciously.

Dale glanced over. "Yeah, that does seem rather odd."

Boomhauer looked at the two. "Hehehe, just... just dang ol' guesswork, you know, man?"

It was at this point all three of them ran headfirst into a tree, since they were all looking at each other.

Zecora stood over them all, smirking. Boomauer's expression rapidly changed between utter joy to complete terror.

"What do you mean, 'The city's closed'?"

Hank was arguing with two guards outside a booth reminiscent of a toll-booth. The city behind the booth was surrounded by an impossibly high fence.

"Sir, I mean the city is closed," said one of the two golden-armored guards standing outside the city enterance- the gray one. "And it's not just us, it's Ponville," I suppose that's what this place is called, Hank deduced. "It's Canterlot, and Celestia said she's considering to close up Appleloosa as well!"

"Well, why?"

"Princess's orders," said the white one, "so it's confidential."

Hank sighed. "Well, can I talk to the- ugh- can I talk to the... Princess? Like, over the phone or something?"

"The what?" asked the grey one.

"The telephone. You know, pick it up, talk into it, other fella talks back?"

The two guards stared at Hank for a minute. They turned their backs and started whispering. "Sir, we don't know what you're talking abou-" the grey one was interrupted by the white one. They turned back around and kept talking. "Uh... sir, are you wishing to use the Vocaplulev?"

"The what now?"

The white one smacked the grey one on the back of his head. "Shadow, you idiot! That's classified technology! Nopony is supposed to know about it!"

"Well, then why did you tell me to say it?"

"I didn't tell you to say it, I just told you maybe he was talking about the Vocaplulev!"

"Well, maybe if you were clearer-"

Hank interrupted the arguing duo. "Um, sorry, sirs, but, if I may ask Mr. Shadow here, what exactly is the Vocaplulev?"

Shadow said, without hesitation "Can't tell you, it's classified."

It was at this point that a sound like a television was turned on. "Shadow Bloom?" asked a feminine voice. "Oak Shield? Can I have a word with you two for a moment?"

The two looked at each-other with a look that could only be described as an "Oh-Crap-Now-What" Look.

"Shield, you stay with this guy, I'll go."

"No, Shadow, I insist- you go."

"No really, you can have the privilege of keeping watch on this guy. I'll do the busy-work."

"No, no, I think that honor should go to you."

"Got-dangit, why don't you just both go?" Hank piped up, irritation in his voice.

"Because that would mean that we have to leave you alone, and you'll just break in!" The stallion Hank deduced to be Oak Shields said. "Oh, and I'll just go now and leave you with Shadow Bloom here..." He started to walk away before Shadow blocked him

"Then just take me with you, that way neither of you have to watch me! I'll be right there!"

The two looked at each-other. After a short discussion of whether it would be worse to show Hank the top-secret technology or to leave the gates unlocked, Princess Celestia shouted, "All of you! Shield! Bloom! And... whoever you are, just come here!" Shield and Shadow rushed over, dragging Hank along.

"Ah, that's better," she said. Her image was being projected onto a seemingly never-ending stream of water in shockingly good quality. She was a white unicorn-pegasus hybrid, pure white, save for her multicolored hair. Despite the lack of any sound-projection, her voice was crystal clear.

"This is the Vocaplulev..." mumbled Shield in resentment.

"I've noticed that you two have been arguing with this colt for a while. Is there a problem, or..."

"No, your highness," Shadow Bloom said, "Everything's fine. It's just this guy's trying to get into Ponyville without your consent, and you told us no-one is allowed without your permission."

"Well, you haven't asked for my permission yet!"

"Well, it's just that we've been turning away the more suspicious characters. Which has been two. Some zebra and this guy. Who've also been the only two people to show up as of yet. So... yeah. Your highness."

Celestia was about to say something when she turned around shuffling through some papers. She turned around again to look at Hank. "Pardon me, but what's that pony's name? The one that's causing the trouble?"

"Uh, we haven't asked yet, your majesty," replied Shield, sheepishly.

Celestia glared at him. "Well, ask him already!"

The two turned around to look at Hank."Um, what's your name, sir?"

"Hank," he replied, bluntly.

Shield looked at him strangely for a moment, "Uh, is that short for anything, sir?"

"Well, my full name is Hank Hill if that's what you're askin'. Technically it's Hank Rutherford Hill, but I don't know why you would need my middle name."

"No, what I meant was is Hank short for anything? Like Handkerchief? Hankering? Anything? And what's with this weird business in the middle, like, Rougher-Fjord? As in, a more aggressive river?"

"What, no? My name is Hank Rutherford Hill! Why is that so hard to accept?"

"No reason, it's just a weird name. Now, just to be sure, your name is Hank Rutherford Hill?"

"Yes, Hank, H-A-N-K, Rutherford, R-U-T-H-E-R-F-O-R-D, Hill, H-I-L-L! Now do I have to spell it again slower, or do you think you have it?"

"Okay, okay, fine! No need to be so rude!" The two guard turned back around. "It's, uh, Hank Ruffer- Ruthif- uh... Hank... Rutherford? Yeah, Hank Rutherford Hill, your highness!"

Celestia shuffled through the papers again. She looked back up at the guards, down at the paper, up at the guards, down at the paper, et cetera. After a minute or two, she gasped.

"Tell Hank to get his friends and get the buck up here right now!"

"Yes, ma'am!" they both exclaimed in unison. Suddenly, the water stopped flowing, shattering the picture. "So, um, you might want to get your other friends. Apparently, Celestia gives you and them permission. So... yeah. Go on."

And with that, Hank rushed back into the woods to retrieve Dale, Boomhauer, and Bil. Oh, God, he thought, they've probably all got the crap beaten out of them by that zebra chick... there's a sentence I though I'd never hear in my life, let alone say it.

Celestia sat at her desk. She looked again at the papers. There was a whole bundle of them. Most of them contained what seemed to be gibberish, just random leters and boxes scattered around. The others had semi-cryptic phrasings on it, like, "Haysar C., page 5" or, "Discorabe... page 7" or even "ADF... page 13". After finally painstakingly deciphering every page, and cutting out the boxes, she laid the papers all down on top of each other. It read the following:

"Hello, My Little Alicorn! Guess who?
Truly, you couldn't have actually thought a simple coat of stone would be enough to hold me, would you. Really, that seems to be your solution to everything; put it in a rock. "Sister's acting up? Put 'er in a rock! Someone trying to start a new kingdom? Put 'im in a rock. The cake delivery guy is five minutes late? Put 'im in a rock." It's a rather stupid plan, if you think about it.
But I digress. After all, if it wasn't for your citizens' shoddy workmanship, I wouldn't have been able to escape! (Do me a solid and thank those six for not doing their best, m'kay? Also, kudos to Shining Safe and Lock Pick; my escape wouldn't have been possible without them either.) Either way, I haven't stated my new reign of chaos in this universe yet, so I decide to raise a little chaos in other dimensions.
I think you'll find that I, how do I say this, imported a couple humans into Equestria. And, since I'm generous, here's their names:
Hank Hill
Dale Gr-"

That was as far as she had gotten. But that was all she needed to know.

Discord was loose and had opened portals to Equestria.