As a man Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE.

This took awhile; I had a hard time finding Stephanie's voice. I hope this sounds okay.

Stephanie's POV

Ranger never wants to talk, never gives me in any information, everything I know about is just because it has slipped out. I hope he isn't going to tell me he doesn't want more with me. Why would he? He is amazingly perfect, he makes my failures look so much worse because he never fails. He is so much more than I am, so much more than I could ever be. How could someone like him be serious about someone like me?

Once Ranger gets started, the words just pour out of him. His mother is a hundred times worse than mine; she just pretends that he does not exist. How can you blame a child because you could not keep your pants up? I bet he was the cutest baseball player, the way he talks about the feeling he got while playing, he got an actual smile on his face. His smile could light up the world. But when he explains no one ever came to see him play, it breaks my heart. I grab his hand, just to let him know that I am there for him.

Why don't parents think sometimes? The actions or lack of actions shape who we are. Ranger could have been a completely different man given some or any attention.

I completely understand why he turned to the gang. When no one loves you, you go somewhere, anywhere to find what is lacking. I also see him taking over the gang; he just was born to be a leader. He gets quiet and says that he doesn't really want me to know the things he did then.

"Carlos, it is okay, it is the past, you don't have to recreate every detail, it just makes you who you are" who I love (but I don't say that part).

We are more alike than I ever imagined. Maybe our trouble getting together has to do with the sea of dysfunction that we were brought up in.

A light bulb goes off! Duh, Steph, he loves you, he has shown me in every action he has done since we met. He didn't send me back to Joe because he didn't love. He sent me back because he didn't think anyone could love him, because no one ever has. That thought stops me cold; no one has ever really loved this beautiful, loyal man. I know he has had women, but no one has LOVED him.

He says he doesn't know how to love, doesn't he SEE? He is love, that is just who he is. The words are unimportant, the actions are. I have been waiting for him to tell me something, I should have known the entire time. He has never tried to discourage me for doing anything; he always wanted to make sure I was safe while doing it. He takes me as I am where I am.

I stand up quickly and kiss him with everything I am "I love you" There I told him. I have been holding on to it for so long. He is looking at me with an expression I cannot read.

"I didn't tell you this so you could feel sorry for me; I just was trying to get it out so we can see where this is going"

I don't believe him! He thinks I feel sorry for him, I do, but I love him. I have since I first met him.

"Ranger, I feel bad for everything you went through, but this isn't a new feeling for me, I have loved you for so long, please don't turn away from this"

He is staring at me, with a look of love (I hope)

Then his phone rings….. Interrupted as always.

(Who should be on the phone? Did I get Stephanie right?)