Once again, not mine. Not in any reality. I'm still pouting, but it won't change things. I also don't own American Beauty… unless you count my DVD copy.
**Edward ~ Implosion**
I woke to the muffled tone of my cell ringing… somewhere. I didn't want it to wake Yorkie, so I rolled off of the bed and started digging through the massive piles of crap we had laying around. I finally found it buried under my chem text and the robe my incredibly weird roommate had come back to our room wearing the previous night; I really didn't want to know.
"Shut your fucking phone up, Cullen! It's only noon, for God's sake!"
It had already gone to voicemail by the time I unearthed it, so I kicked Yorkie's bed and told him to get his shit back on his side. Our room was already your typical male pigsty; I didn't need to lose anything in the vortex created by his weird role play costumes on top of that.
I looked at the missed call and cursed. It was Ali. We'd been really awkward around each other the last few weeks, despite our promises to not let things get weird. I'd held out hope briefly that we'd just fallen asleep naked for some obscure, drunken reason, but the small smear of blood on my sheets disabused me of that notion pretty quickly.
I flopped back down on my bed and hit redial, hoping she just wanted to check in. I wasn't really sure I wanted to hang out again until I had a firm handle on what happened between us.
"Hello?" Oh shit, she was crying.
"Ali? What's wrong?"
"Ed… I'm sitting outside of McMahon now. I need to talk to you."
Fuck! Stall…
"Um, I had a pretty late night and I just woke up when you called. Can we do this later?"
"Edward Anthony Cullen… you come down here and talk to me now!"
The line cut out and I stared at the phone with dread. I couldn't even remember the last time Ali referred to me as Edward. She started calling me Ed years ago to annoy me because I wouldn't quit calling her Mary when she decided she wanted to go by Alice. It stuck, and she was the only person I would answer if they used a shortened form of my name.
I scrubbed my hands over my face and grabbed the first pair of sweats that came to hand; they might not have been mine. Yorkie and I usually made a laundry trek every other week and we were getting close to time. It was every man for himself at this point when it came to wearable clothing.
I dragged on a t-shirt and jogged out of the room, not even bothering with shoes or a cap to hide my bed-head. She was pissed, and I wasn't stupid enough to keep her waiting right now.
I saw her sitting on a bench outside of the hall and stopped. She was hunched over and she looked horrible. Ali never set foot in public without being dressed to the nines and perfectly made up, so this bedraggled woman honestly frightened me.
I sat next to her and dropped an arm over her shoulder, afraid she might have received bad news from home. I knew her grandma's health hadn't been all that great recently, and Ali was very close to her.
"Ali, what's going on?"
She looked at me blankly though her teary eyes for a moment, and then started laughing hysterically. I had no idea how to react other than to hug her. I'd known this girl forever and she never freaked out like this, but she was having a mental breakdown in my arms in front of my dorm while curious onlookers blatantly stared at us. I glared at a few of the idiots standing around and pulled Ali into my lap so I could tuck her head against my shoulder.
"I don't read minds, Sweets; you've got to tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me! How can I help?"
"You know a few weeks ago when we woke up together?"
My blood froze. I suddenly had a very bad feeling that I knew exactly what she was going to tell me, but I tried to play it off.
"Yeah. No regrets, right? We're still cool. We've hung out since then."
"You never found a condom wrapper."
"We were both virgins, Ali. There was no way we could have given each other any diseases."
"I know that, but…"
"Please… tell me it's not what I'm thinking."
The hysteria faded into a serious look that scared me even more than her breakdown had.
"Please, Ali. Tell me you aren't!"
"I just came from the clinic. I'm pregnant. I'm sorry, Ed."
I hugged her again, feeling the shock settling into me. I was afraid if I let go of her that I would become hysterical, and neither of us needed that at the moment.
"Not your fault, Ali. Neither one of us was coherent enough to know what we were doing."
She started sobbing against my shoulder again, "What am I going to do, Ed? My parents will be so disappointed and I don't know how I'll raise a baby and finish school and…"
"Hey! This isn't just on you."
"I don't expect anything from you, Ed. I just thought you needed to know."
I tipped her face up until she met my eyes, "I'm not one of those losers who doesn't care about leaving his kid with no dad, Ali. When are you seeing an actual OB? I'd like to go with you."
"Two weeks, I think. The appointment card is back in my room."
"Have you eaten?"
She shook her head and I stood. "C'mon. Let's run up so I can grab my wallet and some shoes, then I'll feed you."
Lunch was a monumentally silent affair, what with both of us lost in our thoughts, but I made sure she ate plenty. I didn't want her to get sick over this. I dropped her off at her dorm after we ate with a promise to come back that night when we'd both had a chance to calm down so we could talk.
I didn't know what there really was to talk about. I basically only had two options: I could become one of the douche bags who didn't care about the girl he knocked up and the kid he abandoned… or I could do the right thing.
I arrived back at my dorm room to see that Yorkie had gathered up all of his laundry and cleaned his side of the room. I spent a little time doing the same and letting my brain race back and forth over what I was about to do. I knew I wasn't in love with Ali, but I was incredibly fond of her. Neither of us intended to sleep together, let alone for her to become pregnant, but there wasn't much to be done about it now. I wasn't going to let her do this alone.
With my side of the room respectable again, I headed for the shower. Once I was clean, dressed, and somewhat rational, I headed out for my car so I could drive over to University Village for some quick shopping.
An hour and a half later, I knocked on her door. She pulled it open, still looking a little blotchy from another recent cry-fest.
"Can I come in, Ali?"
She stood aside and allowed me to enter her room. Her roommate wasn't in, which I was thankful for. This was between the two of us.
"Tanya won't be back for a while, right?"
"She went home for the weekend."
I sat on Ali's bed and motioned her to join me. I was desperately scrambling for words in my head, praying I wouldn't say the exact wrong thing and get my ass kicked.
"Ali, we've known each other our whole lives, right?"
She nodded and I saw curiosity starting to dominate her face.
"You have always been one of my closest friends. Now, I'm hoping you'll be my wife."
"What? Ed…"
"We can do this. We can finish school and give our baby a good life. I know our parents will help us out with child care if we need it, and they have on-campus care centers for students with children."
"Ed, I don't even know what to say…"
I pulled the box out of my pocket and opened it. "Say you'll marry me, Ali."
I couldn't bring myself to get down on my knee before her. I had planned to, but I just couldn't do it. My chest was tight, and I convinced myself it was because I was nervous that she would say no. In the back of my mind I knew better, but my drunken stupidity placed this course before me and I would see it through.
She finally nodded, and I placed the small ring on her finger before leaning over and giving her a kiss on the top of her head.
"You'll see, Ali. Everything will work out."
**Realizations Suck ~ 5 years later**
I'd fallen into a comfortable rut over the past five years, and steadfastly refused to see it for what it was. We didn't have much of a sex life, which I had to admit was mostly my choice. As much as I loved Ali, and I truly did even if I wasn't in love with her, I really didn't want a sex life with her. It was awkward for me when we were together that way, and I spent quite a bit of time mentally torturing myself trying to figure out why the admittedly beautiful woman who shared my bed just didn't turn me on.
Then Ali came home one night several months ago talking about a new client she had a good feeling about—a young widow who'd moved to Seattle to escape painful memories and wanted her condo remodeled and decorated. For the next several weeks, her chatter consisted of her client: what a nice girl she was, how pretty, so sad she was widowed so young, how lonely she seemed.
A couple of weeks after Ali completed the job, our elderly neighbor passed on. She was our babysitter, and Jeremy loved her like a third grandmother. On top of trying to comfort our grieving son and help her family sort things out so they could sell her house, we were scrambling to find reliable child care.
Ali remembered her former client saying that she used to babysit a lot before moving to Seattle, so she called her and explained our situation. Ali put her on speaker so we could both talk to her, and I was introduced for the first time to Bella Black.
Now, I felt like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. I was only twenty-six and already the best part of my day was the ten minutes I spent in the shower beating off. Fortunately, my wife wasn't a psycho mega-bitch like Annette Benning's character and my son obviously wasn't a whiny teenaged girl obsessed with boob jobs. Other than that, I definitely identified with Lester Burnham.
The bathtub and rose petals fantasy? Yeah… everyday. Only it wasn't Mena Suvari saying she needed a bath in my head. No, that honor would go to our current babysitter.
From the moment I heard her voice, I felt a curious draw toward her. The first time I saw her, I knew I was in serious trouble. I absolutely would not cheat on Ali, but after meeting Bella in person I didn't have to torture myself wondering if I was secretly gay or asexual any longer.
It shocked me, the overwhelming physical response I had to this girl. I was married to a woman with the toned figure of a disciplined runner, and the features of a top super model. Ali was never less than flawless, and men stared at her shamelessly everywhere we went, but this simple girl with her careless ponytail, lack of make up, and soft curves undid me.
I didn't mean to start fantasizing about Bella since it couldn't go anywhere, but one morning in the shower I lost the mental image of a generic blond model I'd seen in a porno. Instead of the garish red lipstick and fake nails I normally envisioned, I ended up imaging Bella's pouty pink lips and delicate hands pleasuring me.
It was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, and I immediately felt insanely guilty. Imagining some random skin-flick actress I didn't know in real life didn't feel like cheating to me; imagining a flesh and blood woman did, especially when that flesh and blood woman was an acquaintance of my wife's. I resolved not to think of Bella like that again, and at the time I meant it.
Unfortunately for my resolve, Ali was in one of her rare frisky moods that night. I didn't feel like I could gracefully decline her request, and as often happened when I had sex with my wife, my brain started wandering. It wandered straight to Bella before I could even try to stop it from happening. Picturing myself in bed with Bella let something loose in me and it was by far the most satisfying sexual experience of my life.
I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. Ali was cuddled up next to me with her arm thrown across my chest, but I was wishing for brown curls tangled across the pillows and the feel of a softer body pressed to my own. For the first time since the day I proposed, I allowed myself to wonder if I'd really done the right thing after all…
**We All Fall Down ~ 9 months later**
We'd just returned home from the annual bore-fest my mother termed a hospital benefit and Ali was getting Jeremy put to bed. I was faced with leaving Bella on the floor and knowing she would be uncomfortable, or moving her and putting my own sanity at risk by willingly touching her.
I'd been fantasizing solely about this woman for close to a year. Waking or sleeping, hers was the only face and body I really saw. I didn't even bother making excuses or feeling guilty about it anymore, although at first I tried convincing myself it was purely a physical gratification thing. That didn't last long. The more I got to know her, the more I genuinely liked her. I was pretty sure if I allowed myself, I could fall in love with her, and that way lay madness considering I was already married.
A frown marred her sleeping features as she rolled onto some of Jeremy's Legos, and I knew I couldn't leave her down on the floor. I dropped to one knee to scoop her small form into my arms and she snuggled her head into my chest. My heart stuttered. Having this woman in my arms felt so perfect and it almost killed me to know I'd never feel that sense of rightness again.
I hugged her to my chest tightly as I stood and barely resisted the urge to place a light kiss on her forehead before I turned to the couch. After laying her down, I pulled a quilt over her before smoothing the hair back off of her forehead. I traced my thumb lightly down her cheek and she smiled softly before turning her face into my hand.
Once she'd snuggled back into the pillows, I turned away from her. The urge to lie beside her was overpowering and the ache in my chest was becoming stronger every second I ignored it. I finally shook my head and started cleaning up the Lego mess, trying to forget the silken feel of her skin under my fingers.
After the toys were all picked up I headed down the hallway to the bedroom, hoping Ali would already be asleep. If she was still awake she'd cuddle into me, and I really didn't know how I would handle a woman other than Bella pressed against my body when my heart was screaming for her so insistently.
I entered my bedroom to find my wife at her vanity, meticulously removing her jewelry and make up. There was something off about her expression, but I couldn't really place what was wrong.
"Need anything before I pass out, Ali?"
She looked at me intently for a moment, like she was searching my eyes from some cosmic truth.
"Can you unzip me, Ed?"
She stood and presented her back to me. I took the tiny zipper and ran it down the length of her gown before offering her a hand to steady herself while she stepped out of it.
What I saw when the satin slid down her body would have made any other man weep tears of gratitude, but I couldn't find it anywhere within myself to be excited by her bustier and tiny lace panties. Her eyes caught mine in the mirror looking for a reaction as she allowed her gown to fall away, so I leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head before telling her how beautiful she'd looked that night.
She smiled at me before scooping up the puddle of satin and heading for her closet. I took the opportunity to strip out of my suit. After hanging it up and putting my shirt in the pile of things for the dry cleaners, I stumbled over to the bed and crawled in.
Exhaustion overwhelmed me and I drifted off to my dreams where the woman I was quickly coming to love waited for me.
**House of Cards ~ 2 months later**
I couldn't believe what was happening. I came home from a shitty twenty hour shift, only to walk in to my wife saying she was leaving me. Ali was holding out the original box her engagement ring was in all those years ago. I shot a quick glance at her left hand and saw her wedding band was also absent.
God, I know this is my fault, and I swear I will do better by her. Please don't let her take my son away from me!
"Please… don't do this, Ali. I can do better, I swear I can. And I do love you!"
"I love you, too. But I'm not in love with you. I'm not willing to live the rest of my life wondering how it feels to be madly in love. I'm not willing to be the woman you only turn to when the physical itch gets to you. I'm not willing to feel like I have to beg my husband for sex if I'm in the mood. We never should have married in the first place, Ed; you know it as well as I do. If you love me at all… let me go."
"I can't change your mind?"
"No. I'll be completely moved out by the time I need to get Jeremy from your mom's tomorrow. I'll keep him until you finish up the doubles, and then he can stay here while I do my week in Portland."
Tomorrow? She was planning to have my son away from me by tomorrow? I'd never in my entire life wanted to physically harm a female, but I wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled right then. She wasn't even planning on the two of us sitting down to discuss this with our son, and she already had his time divided up in her head? I clenched my jaw, trying to hold in my rage.
"So I'm already reduced to only seeing my son 2 weeks a month?"
"No, Ed."
Did she just… She did! She rolled her eyes at me!
"You can come over and see him every day if you want. I told you, I want us to still be friends. It'll take a little time to get back to how we were before we got married, but I know we can do it."
I slumped down on to the couch, massacring my hair brutally all the while.
I felt the cushion dip as Ali sat next to me.
"Don't leave, Ali. I don't want you to go."
"You don't want Jeremy to go, but Ed… he's only going to be a few doors down. You really can come over whenever you want to see him."
I looked up into her violet eyes hoping to see some indecision, but there was none.
"What can I do to prove I don't want you to leave, Ali?"
I saw a few emotions flicker across her face before it settled into a hard expression. Her eyes were bleak and pained, but her jaw was set.
"You can get down on your knee right now, and offer me that ring back. You can tell me that I am the love of your life, and that you will never love another woman more than you love me. If you can't do that while maintaining direct eye contact with me, then there is nothing left for us to discuss, Edward."
I knew a challenge when I heard it, and I hadn't turned my back on one in twenty-seven years. I gathered my determination and picked up the box containing her rings. I opened it and looked at the small diamond I'd given her back in college. I offered to replace it with something larger last year for our fifth anniversary, but she'd declined.
I took a deep breath before lowering myself to one knee in front of my wife, deeply aware of how wrong it felt and remembering how I couldn't bring myself to do this when I initially proposed to her.
My gaze was fixed on her shoes as I raised my hand to offer the ring to her. Just as I was going to say the words she wanted to hear I raised my eyes to meet hers… and I couldn't force the first syllable through my lips.
I tried again but when I attempted to force the words out, I saw Bella's doe eyes smiling back at me and my lungs tightened up. After a third unsuccessful attempt, I finally gave in and sat on the carpet at Ali's feet with tears blurring my vision.
"I can't. I'm sorry, Ali."
"I know, Ed. I'm sorry, too, but you needed to know you couldn't do it. I've already set myself up in the guest room for tonight, and I'll change the sheets for you before I leave tomorrow."
I placed the engagement ring back into the box and offered it to her.
"Keep the rings, Ali. You can give them to Jeremy later, or you can have other jewelry made from them."
"Keep them in your safe for me? I haven't put one in at my place yet."
I nodded and she walked down the hall to the guest room. I sat there for a long time wondering why my chest felt so much lighter than it had in years…
**Off Balance ~ 10 months later**
I stopped in the kitchen when I heard the voices out on my back patio.
"All right, Jeremy… homework all done?"
"Yes!"
"Bedroom all cleaned?"
"Yes!"
"Bed made?"
"Yes!"
"Did you practice the piano lesson you're supposed to know for tomorrow?"
"Yes! C'mon, Bella I did everything! PLEASE?"
I smiled to myself, liking how easily my son interacted with Bella. I hadn't made my presence known yet because I didn't want to watch the lighthearted smile fade from her expressive face.
"OK, then! Ice cream time!"
They dug into their snack and I was about to walk over to join them, when Jeremy asked her in a very serious voice, "Bella? Why don't you like my daddy anymore?"
Only my own curiosity kept me from going out and saving her from the conversation my son clearly wanted to have. He'd been less than subtle about wanting Bella to be my girlfriend ever since Ali started dating Jasper. I'd been less than subtle at first myself, but overt flirting from me basically sent her running the other way. The only reason I hadn't completely given up was the small spark I would occasionally see in her eyes when she thought I wasn't looking.
I saw shock spread across her face, "Oh, sweetie… I don't dislike your daddy! He's a very nice person."
"You used to laugh with him, and it would make him happy and he'd smile a lot like my mommy does when Jazz visits her. Now you don't, and when you leave he's sad."
"Oh, honey. It's just hard to explain, but I like your daddy. I really do."
"You should tell him that. I heard him telling mommy and Jazz he didn't think you liked him last night. He was really sad, Bella."
I cringed; if I'd known Jeremy was in listening distance I wouldn't have talked to Ali and Jasper about how Bella's avoidance of me was ripping a hole in my chest. Just my luck: busted by my seven year old… fantastic! Deciding it was time to face the music, I stepped through the sliding glass doors to join them on the patio.
"Hey, buddy! Were you good for Bella today?"
Two faces swung around to look at me. One wary, and one covered with chocolate ice cream.
"Daddy!"
I was hit in the legs by a torpedo cleverly disguised as a small child and ended up on my ass on the patio. I grabbed him and tickled him until he was begging for mercy, laughing at the musical sound of his little giggles and shrieks.
I felt her eyes on me, and my breath caught. I looked up to see her smiling down at us, clearly amused by my son getting the drop on me and using my white shirt as a place to smear his chocolaty hands and face as he'd wrestled to free himself from my tickles.
"Need help, Edward?"
I smiled because that was the first thing she'd voluntarily said to me in months.
"Can you get the munchkin off of me so I can go change?"
She leaned down to grab Jeremy, and then looked at me again.
"Bring me the shirt and tie and I'll try to scrub some of the chocolate out of them for you. Hopefully they can be saved."
I nodded and watched as she ably wrangled my son and the ice cream dishes into the house to get cleaned up.
I jogged into my bedroom and stripped out of my ruined clothes. I slid into a pair of jeans and went into my bathroom to scrub the mess off of my chest. Once I was no longer sticky, I walked back out into the bedroom intending to grab my shirt and tie when I heard a small gasp.
I looked up to see Bella in the hallway with her hand raised to knock on my open door. Her eyes were fixed on my chest and a beautiful blush covered her cheeks. I started toward her, hoping for once she wouldn't run away.
As soon as she realized I was moving, her eyes snapped up to meet mine. She looked like she wanted to run from me and to me at the same time. I kept my eyes locked on hers as I continued to walk toward her. Her hand came up to rest protectively against her throat, and I couldn't contain a small smirk when I heard her breathing accelerate.
She backed away as I came closer, until she was against the wall across from my bedroom door and I was caging her in with my arms planted above her shoulders. I leaned down to speak into her ear, only to hear her at the same time.
"Bella, please…"
"Edward, I don't…"
I shifted so I could use the first two fingers of my left hand to press lightly against her lips.
"Please, don't run from me anymore. Tell me you feel whatever this is, too."
Her eyes closed and her head fell back against the wall. I was afraid she was going to tell me she didn't feel anything, and that I needed to leave her alone. Her face had conflicting emotions running across it, and her normally expressive eyes were closed to me.
"Bella, please…"
I leaned in farther and rested my forehead against hers, hoping I wouldn't immediately be slapped for my forward behavior. Her small hand came up to pull against mine so that her lips were free. Without thinking I wrapped my hand around her hip and pulled her small frame against my own, relishing in the way her curves fit snugly against the hard planes of my own body. She moved so her chin was resting against my shoulder and I could feel her warm breath feathering my ear.
"I'm scared, Edward. I don't want to take a chance only to be hurt again."
"Nobody can guarantee tomorrow, Bella. Not me, not you. All I can promise is that I will be here for you for the rest of my life, however long that may be."
"I know, but sometimes the thought of moving on without him feels so disloyal…"
I pulled back slightly and tilted her head up so our eyes met.
"He would want you to be happy. So would your dad and your father-in-law. None of them would fault you for living, Bella."
I saw the tears welling in her eyes and gathered her completely into my arms. "Please don't cry, sweetheart. I'll leave you alone if that's what you truly want, just don't cry. My heart can't bear it."
Her arms wrapped around my neck and her breath puffed against my ear again.
"I don't want that."
"What do you want?"
Her fingers slid up from my neck to thread through my hair and I shuddered at the touch, tightening my arms around her waist. She pulled back just a bit so that I could feel her cheek resting against my own, before her head turned slowly and her lips brushed the corner of my mouth.
"I want you, Edward."
I groaned as I turned my head to capture her lips completely. I felt her moan against my lips and I took advantage of her open mouth to slide my tongue against hers. Her breath caught and I pulled my lips from hers to trail soft kisses along her jaw, giving her a chance to inhale freely.
"Stay with me tonight?"
"What about Jeremy?"
"He already loves you; he wouldn't care if you moved in tomorrow. Stay?"
She nodded and laid her head against my chest, snuggling into me like she had the night I finally admitted to myself that I was falling in love with her.
**Bella ~ 2 years later**
"Jeremy?"
My step-son walked into the bedroom but wouldn't approach the bathroom where I was huddled. Not that I blamed the poor kid; I wouldn't want to be around a puking woman either.
"Yeah? What'cha need, Mom-too?"
Even in my misery, I still smiled every time he called me that. He was starting to outgrow it, so I cherished it while I had the chance. After I married Edward, Jeremy started introducing me as his mom. We both tried to dissuade him from doing so, not wanting to step on Ali's mom-toes, but in his childish innocence he got all huffy and said that I was his mom, too. He sometimes referred to Jazz as Dad-too, but not often.
"Can you run down to your mom's and see if she has any more of those nausea pops, honey? I'm out and I need to get out of this bathroom at some point today."
"Be right back!"
I hear him thundering through the hall and the slam of the door as he ran out. A few minutes later I heard the door open and hoped Jeremy was back with sweet relief for me.
"Jeremy?"
I heard the bathroom door start to swing open. "No, it's me. Are you OK, baby?"
"No. Whichever man coined the horrible misnomer "morning" sickness and spread the insidious lie that it's over after the first trimester needs to be taken out and strung up by his balls!"
I heard the front door slam again just as I was overcome by another wave of nausea.
Apparently, males are of the opinion that women are unable to hear while they're vomiting for some odd reason, because my normally sympathetic husband and normally sweet step-son were discussing me like I wasn't in the next room.
"Dad, mom didn't have those things Bella wanted. You tell her—she's been really grumpy today!"
"Women are unpredictable animals when they're pregnant, son. Get used to it now."
"It's gonna be miserable having them both knocked up at the same time, isn't it, dad?"
I stuck my head out the bathroom door and gave them both an evil eye.
"Exactly who taught you the phrase "knocked up," Jeremy Alexander Cullen? And why do you two think I can't hear you?"
Both of their eyes widened with fear, and Jeremy began frantically pointing at my husband, who was just as frantically shaking his head and pointing in the direction of Ali and Jasper's house. If I wasn't so miserable, I would have been laughing my ass off. Males are so predictable in the face of a pregnant woman's fury, even nine year old males.
My phone rang and with one final glare I retreated to my bathroom sanctuary.
"Hey, Ali… guess what your son just said?"
"Oh Lord, what now? He's only my son when you're annoyed with him, Bells."
"He said that it's going to be miserable having us both knocked up at the same time."
"WHAT! JASPER!"
"I'm not sure if it was Jasper or not. Jeremy was getting ready to toss Edward under the bus, and Edward was just as strenuously attempting to blame Jasper when my phone rang."
"You know… it's kind of funny, Bells."
"I know, but I'm not telling them that. I'm carrying the snit for awhile."
"How long should we act annoyed about this so they'll tiptoe around us and cater to our whims?"
"Until our bladders are no longer doubling as trampolines, Ali."
"Well, I called to say that Jazz brought me more Preggie Pops when he came home a minute ago, so send Jeremy back for yours. I'm gonna go lie down. My back is killing me."
"Will do. See you Wednesday for yoga if we're not stuck in our respective bathrooms."
I relayed Ali's message through the door in my most cranky voice, hoping Edward would understand I expected them to move with a quickness. I heard the front door slam yet again and guessed that Jeremy had just been sent for my lollies.
The bathroom door cracked open and Edward shuffled in, looking a little afraid of his reception. He had ginger ale and soda crackers with him, so I decided to let him live a little longer. He gave me my snack and sat on the other side of the vanity so he could pull my feet into his lap to massage them for me.
"I'm sorry, baby. If I'd known this was going to be so hard on you…"
"What? You would have refused to have children with me? Quit being so emo; you're not the one who can't keep water down without the aid of a sucker."
He sighed and ran his hand through his already mussed hair. "I know. I just hate seeing you miserable, baby."
"I will survive this. Women have been doing this for thousands of years. Besides, Eleazar said if I'd lost any more weight at my next appointment he'd prescribe Phenergan. I know I've lost a few pounds."
Eleazar Denali was recommended to me by Carlisle, and he was a true godsend. He kept Edward's pushy doctor tendencies in check regarding my pre-natal care, and he kept my first-time mom nerves at bay by giving me concise advice and keeping things easy for a non-medical person to understand. He was also Ali's doctor, and had convinced the both of us to sign up for the twice weekly prenatal yoga class that his wife, Carmen, ran at the hospital. Neither of us missed a single class until Ali's sciatica started acting up. She still went on days her back wasn't hurting too badly, and she swore we'd both be thankful to be a little more limber during delivery.
Jeremy's head warily popped through the door. When he saw that I wasn't throwing up at that particular moment he stepped in to hand me an entire box of sour fruit Preggie Pops. I'm not ashamed to admit that I squealed like a little kid on Christmas morning when I saw them, and I wasted no time getting one into my mouth.
He picked up my brush and perched on the edge of the tub behind me. After pulling the scrunchie out of my hair, he started gently detangling the whole mess.
"I'm sorry I was an insensitive male, Mom-too. Mom told me I needed to strap a watermelon on my tummy and walk around with the stomach flu for months on end to understand how you guys feel right now. She also said dad and Jazz suck and that they should be cut off. I don't know what she wanted to cut off of them, but Jazz looked scared when she said it, so I guess it's not good."
I heard Edward choke a little before muttering about evil little pixies. I chuckled under my breath before answering.
"It's OK, Jeremy. You'll do better if you remember not to repeat what your father and Jasper have to say. They'll just end up getting you in trouble."
We sat in companionable silence for a while. Jeremy smoothing through my hair, Edward rubbing my swollen feet, and I was concentrating on gaining control of my stomach.
"Bella?"
"Hmm? What, sweetie?"
"What are you naming the baby?"
My eyes caught Edward's, but he looked just as surprised as I was.
"Well, your dad and I haven't decided yet. Why?"
"Mom said her and Jazz named my brother. His name is gonna be Brandon, cause that used to be mom's last name, and I know you're having a girl… You're not gonna name her Black, right?"
I laughed softly as his assumption. "No, sweetie, I'm not naming the baby 'Black.' Your mom picked Brandon because it's her dad's last name. My dad's last name was Swan, and I'm definitely not naming a baby 'Swan.'"
"OK. Can I go back to mom's for tonight? Jazz just got a new Xbox game and I wanna play with him after dinner. Mom said it was fine if you guys didn't mind."
I looked at Edward and quirked my eyebrow, letting him know this one was up to him and he nodded slightly.
"Is your room picked up and your bed made?"
"Yup."
"Chores done?"
"Uh huh."
"Did you practice your piano lesson?"
"Yes."
"Well, then I guess you can spend the night with your mom and Jazz if you want to. You have to be back here by eleven tomorrow morning though; Mrs. Cheney is coming for piano tomorrow instead of Wednesday this week, remember?"
I heard the clink of Jeremy setting my brush down and his little hands sifted through my hair, separating it out to braid for me.
"You don't have to braid it sweetie. Thanks, though."
"Dad can't and I won't be here tonight if you need it done later."
Ali taught Jeremy to braid my hair years ago. When we were both still single, she'd french-braid it for me while we were drinking wine and having girl talk. Jeremy was fascinated with the process and begged her to show him how. I attributed his skill to his years of piano lessons.
He was done a few minutes later and said he was off to grab his extra controller. I listened as he bumped around in the den for a minute before the door was slamming one final time. Edward smiled at me and stood before leaning down to help me to my feet.
"Do you hear that, baby?"
I listened for a minute. "Umm… no. What am I listening to?"
"The silence. A whole night's worth and that is going to get incredibly rare here in a month or so."
"Hmmm, is that so?"
He nodded and shuddered as I ran my hands up and down his chest slowly.
"Then we should probably take advantage of it while it lasts. My stomach is feeling much better now; why don't you join me in the tub?"