Well, to keep up with everyone else here, I've decided to turn the Picnic story into a bunch of random humor stories. This is the second in the collection.
Chapter 2: Insurance Rates
It was another random early morning in Haven City, and Jak was passed out on the floor after he had been up all night at the Naughty Otsel partying after Daxter had originally asked him to help put up decorations for his birthday. Jak knew it wasn't Daxter's birthday.
He then eventually got pulled into this huge party that involved every character in Haven (even Praxis and Erol, and even Kor), and every character from Spargus (Veger was human), and all the characters from Kras (even a supposedly dead Mizo).
Jak then woke up.
"Ugh," he groaned, walking over to the bar where Daxter and Tess were cleaning up after the party. "Guys, what happened?"
"You passed out after falling on the floor while pretending to be Tarzan," Daxter said.
"Well, that explains this," Jak said, pointing out the fact that he was wearing a leotard. He quickly changed back.
"Hey, what's this yellow bottle here," Jak asked, taking a drink of it.
"Wait, that's not..." Daxter started, but Jak had already downed the entire bottle and fell asleep. "A drink."
(3 hours later)
Jak had woken up, and things were relatively unchanged.
"Wha happen," he asked, still sleepy.
"You drank Onin's experimental sleeping potion," Daxter responded. "She must've forgot it here yesterday."
"Uh..." Jak drooled, then saw a light blue bottle. "Hey, what's this? (glug) (spit) water!?"
Jak then proceeded to drink all the bottles on the table, and raiding the counter under the table.
"Do you have a drinking problem," Daxter asked.
"Whatareyou (Hic!) talkin'bout, I'm fine," Jak slurred.
"Sure you are," Daxter said.
Jak then saw Torn, who was in one of the stalls asleep, a bottle of Haven Select (beer) still in his hand.
Jak then got an evil, yet funny idea.
"I'm gonna go to work," he said.
"But Jak, the Underground doesn't open for five hours still," Daxter said.
"I know," Jak said. He then went outside, and sure enough, Torn's car was parked outside. Jak knows what happens when Torn finds damage on his car. He then took out his peacemaker and shot the car, blowing it up.
"Heh, Torn's car," he laughed, quickly grabbing another car.
Inside, Torn had suddenly jolted awake.
"Car...senses...tingling," he monologued, and ran outside.
"He has 'Car Senses'," Daxter asked.
"Yep, it happens whenever someone's been messing with his car," Tess responded.
"Who would...uh oh," Daxter said.
"What do you mean, 'uh oh'," Tess asked.
"Uh...I gotta go, sweetie," Daxter said, running outside.
Meanwhile, Torn had gotten outside, only to see his precious car destroyed.
"(high-pitched gasp) MY CAR!" he then saw a civilian standing near it. "YOU!!" he shouted, diving at the civilian.
"Hey, what the heck, man," the civilian asked.
"YOU DETHTROID MAI CUARR!"
"What you talkin' bout man, I didn't touch any car," the civilian shouted. Torn then began beating up the guy, who yelled for the nearest KG near him.
"FREEZE," the KG shouted, prying Torn off the guy with a crowbar.
"HE DESTRIOYED MY CAR," Torn yelled, spit flying from his mouth and landing on the KG's face. Torn then hit the guard.
"Ah! I NEED BACKUP! WE GOT A CRAZY ONE!" He shouted, pinning Torn to the ground, who was foaming at the mouth. A KG with a tranquilizer showed up and put Torn to sleep.
Jak then drove by, giggling like a schoolgirl.
Daxter then appeared in the car.
"What did you do," he asked.
"Nothin'," Jak said innocently, and drove away.
Later that day, Jak had pulled in front of the Underground, smashing into Torn's just now-delivered new car (luckily he gets a free car every time his other car gets destroyed; he just has to pay more for it a month) and walked down to see Ashelin standing there with a pouty look on her face.
"Heya, Ashelin," Jak said.
"What did you do," she asked.
"Do what?"
"Torn's in the Fortress because someone destroyed his car, and I think it was you."
"What makes you think that," Jak asked.
"Well, you're the only one stupid enough to do it," she said.
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?"
"It means you did it."
"And what is THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"
Ashelin just glared at him. "And for that, you're going to go pick him up."
"Why me?"
"Well, you're the only one who doesn't have anything to do today. I'm busy helping daddy, Erol, and Veger in the palace, Torn can't drive himself out because they suspended his license for a week, and you get the idea."
"Eargh, fine," Jak groaned, walking out and grabbing Torn's new car that now had a huge dent in the side from Jak smashing into it, driving to the fortress.
At the fortress, the Krimson Guards were enjoying a voluntary lunch break (and by voluntary, I mean that Praxis usually cleans out the whole lunch room before the guards can even take their pick), when there was a loud smash.
It was then discovered that Jak had driven the car through the doors and to the lobby, where all the guards just looked at him funny.
"What?"
"We're not paying for that," a guard said.
Jak then went up to the service desk, and dinged the bell.
"What," a guard said over a speaker.
"I'm here to pick up Torn."
"Who's Torn?"
"Dreads, brown hair, paranoid about his insurance?"
"Oh, him. I'll buzz you in."
The door opened, and a few minutes later, the two were out and in the car.
"Jak, did you drive "through" the doors," Torn asked.
"Uh...so Torn, how was your night in the Fortress," Jak said with a slight giggle.
"It was horrible! They fed me TV dinners! You know how much I hate TV dinners! Then I had to wear a ridiculous uniform! It clashed with my hair!"
Jak was snickering louder.
"It's not funny! I...wait a minute...YOU! YOU DESTROYED MY CAR! I KEEEELLL YOU!" Torn then pulled out his dagger and reached for Jak, who pushed the eject button on the car.
Torn then landed next to a guard, where Jak then yelled: "MAN WITH A DAGGER!"
"A dagger!? That's worse than a gun!" a guard said suddenly. He then looked at Torn, who put his dagger behind his back. "GET HIM!"
"JAAAAAAAKKKK!!" Torn yelled, as he was pummeled by guards.