I was face-to-face with Jessica because she accidentally 'tripped' and was thisclose to crashing her ugly face to the floor, so I caught her. Fuck it.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Edward! I didn't mean to!" her nasty breath blew into my face. It smelled like she had dead rats for breakfast. Disgusting. She was staring at me.

'Come on, Cullen. Let's get this over with and kiss me.'

Ew. What made her think that I'd actually kiss her? D-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g.

"Hey, err, Jessica, I have to go now. See you around." I let her go. Then I heard a loud crash.

Whoops! Of course, I forgot that I was the one who was holding her up.

Everyone was now laughing at her. She looked ridiculous.

She was sitting on the floor with pasta sauce all over her fake blonde hair and ugly face.

She tried to get up.

The laughing got louder.

Wrong move, Jessica.

She was wearing 5 inch heels which made her slide and reveal what's under her skirt—nothing. Who ever thought Jessica Stanley goes commando everyday? I did. No one else knew, though.

'Oh, that's fucking hot. She'll have to pay later. I'll screw her in the broom closet!' Mike, yes, the vile Mike Newton, thought.

'Ew. Her cunt looks like it's been used for like, 8485743857times!' Lauren, who was supposedly Jessica's bestfriend thought.

Hah, like she didn't know.

'Oh, Cullen, you're gonna pay for this. I'm going to get you so drunk at Lauren's party later, you'd be begging for me!' Jessica thought as Lauren helped her up.

Right, like I didn't know her 'evil' plans.

"Edward, let's go!" Alice screamed—loud enough for everyone to hear—as she came bouncing to my side.

"Have you heard the news? There's a newbie today! From what I heard, she's a total hottie!" Alice said giddily as we were walking to my Volvo.

Like I cared. All of the newbies who get dazzled by me always end up getting screwed and trashed by none other than me, of course.

Of course we had to act normal.

But that was before.

Ever since Stephenie Meyer had Twilight published in 2005, I had to change my identity.

It's coincidental enough that my name is Edward Cullen. And that we live in Forks, Washington. And that I drove a silver Volvo. And that I have messy bronze hair.

So we had to move.

Change names and personalities.

Before, I was Edward Cullen. King of the prudes. The 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a seventeen year old.

But now? You must be kidding.

I am now Edward Masen. The ladies' man. Still a 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a seventeen year old, but at least I date now. And I touch and kiss the people I date. None of them was good enough, though.

That was before.

That was what I thought.

That was before I met the brunette who changed my life.

A/N: Okay, so Edward may be a little OOC. I'm sorry if the story line's a little vague. I'll clear it up soon though! Tell me what you think!! REVIEW SI'L VOUS PLAIT!!