Disclaimer: Hurky does not own the sketch she has Sora, Riku, and Kairi doing.
Riku ran onstage for the second episode of his show with the audience cheering their heads off once again.
"Thank you!" said Riku. "And welcome to Mind of Riku, and man, do I have a show for you!"
"YEAHHHH!" cheered the audience.
"Alright, now." said Riku. "I have some very special guests coming today, and..."
"AHHH!" screamed a familiar voice.
Everyone turned around and saw Sora running through the audience from a girl with a sock on her hand. Sora ran onto the stage and hid behind Riku.
"Sora, what's go-?" asked Riku.
"Help me, Riku!" cried Sora. "I'm being chased by Kairi with a sock puppet!"
Kairi laughed and tossed the sock puppet aside
"Are you really that idiotic?" she asked. "It's just a sock."
"Kairi!" cried Riku. "You see how much you scared Sora? He's shaking!"
"No I'm not!" lied Sora. To tell you the truth, he really was shaking.
"Let's give it up for Sora and Kairi!" said Riku.
The audience went totally crazy. The Sora fangirls all screamed, shouted, held up We Love Sora signs. A few even passed out on the ground.
"Alright!" said Riku. "Once again, do we have a show for you today! We're going to do our first comedic sketch!"
The audience applauded.
"But first, let's have Kairi give her opinion on all of Sora's outfits, past, present, and future," said Riku.
The screen behind him that said "Mind of Riku" changed to the outfit Sora was currently wearing, which was the original KH1 outfit.
"So, Kairi!" said Riku. "What do you think of this outfit?"
Kairi sat in a cushy chair and put a hand on her chin. "Ummmm...ho hum!" she said.
"WHAT?" cried Sora. "This is one of my favorite outfits!"
"Uh, let's put on a better one, shall we?" asked Riku, before Sora killed Kairi. The picture changed to Sora as a merman.
"Woo!" said Kairi with a smile as she fanned herself. "Muy caliente!"
The Sora fangirls in the audience totally screamed and went crazy.
"AIEEEEEE!" they screamed.
"Hey, back off from my man!" snarled Kairi to the Sora fangirls. "He's mine!"
"Uh, okay..." said Riku. The screen changed to Sora in the Nightmare Before Christmas outfit. "Let's move on to the next one. How's this one?"
Kairi shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know." she replied. "I'm thinking the Halloween-ish type."
"That's why it's a Halloween costume, DUH!" said Sora.
The screen changed to Sora in his black KH2 outfit. This surprised Kairi.
"OMG, that is such a nice outfit!" she said surprisingly. "Why aren't you wearing that right now?"
"Because it's too heavy with all that armor." said Sora. "And if I wore that during the summertime, it would be really hot."
"Like you when you're a merman!" yelled a fangirl from the audience.
"THAT'S IT!" cried Kairi angrily. She took Sora's keyblade and Riku's Soul Eater, got up, and chased the girl out of the studio.
"Hey, leave the chasing to my security guards, Kai!" said Riku.
Kairi ran to the stage,straightened up her hair,and sat back down in her chair with an angelic smile, as if she didn't get angry.
"Now this one's totally going to surprise everyone here because it's a never before seen one. Actually, it's what Sora would look like if he did crack!" said Riku. "Are you ready?"
"What, Sora with bloodshot eyes and his pajamas?" teased Kairi.
The screen changed from KH2 Sora to a really retarded looking Sora picture in his KH1 outfit. It was the one where he goes into Steamboat Willie. This made Kairi and the Sora fangirls scream. Most of the fangirls passed out on the ground.
"Great, now half my audience is on the ground, I hope you're happy." said Riku as he put his hands on his hips and stared at the floor of passed out Sora fangirls.
Sora got mad. "Riku, I would not look like this if I started doing crack!" he cried.
"Have you ever even tried crack?" asked Riku.
"NO!" denied Sora. "I think drugs are stupid! Look, can we move onto something better?"
Riku sighed. "Fine." he said. "After the break, we're going ot do the sketch, so stick around!"
The music played and the show went to commercials. After break, the show came back on and the stage was transformed into a room with a bunch of tables and phones. Random people were on the phones, silently talking into them. Sora was one of them. Riku was dressed in a suit and Kairi was wearing a blouse and striped pants.
"Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen!" said Riku. "Welcome to the Destroy the Burrito Eating Owl telethon. We are trying to reach a billion munny by the end of the hour!"
Kairi nodded and grinned. "That's right!" she said in a peppy voice. "fter constantly being victimized by the Burrito Eating Owl, Riku wants to get rid of him and put an end to the burrito snatching! All pro-"
Sora's phone rang and he answered it. "Hello, Destroy the Burrito Eating Owl telethon?" he asked. "OH NO!"
Riku and Kairi turned around abruptly to Sora.
"Is something the matter?" asked Kairi.
"Uh, no!" lied Sora. "Everything's fine, heh heh."
"Good!" said Riku approvingly. He turned to the audience. "If you donate, you'll get a-"
Sora's phone rang again and he picked it up.
"OH NO!" yelled Sora into the phone. "OH NO, OH NO, OH NO!"
"We'll be right back after this break." said Riku.
"Aaaaaand cut!" said a guy in a baseball hat.
Riku stopped smiling and turned to Sora.
"Hey, what the hell are you-" said Riku until the floor manager went up to Riku.
"Uh, we're not off, yet!" he said. He made a cut motion with his hand. "Now we're cut!"
Riku grabbed Sora by the collar of his shirt and was about to screetch something to Sora when the floor manager once again came and said, "We're still not cut!"
"Well then freaking cut to commercials!" snapped Riku.
"Aaaaaaaannnnnndddddd now we're cut!" said the floor manager.
"Riku held Sora close to his face. "Now listen, if you keep saying 'OH NO,' you will be guaranteed that something will happen to you. Now, when that phone rings, DON'T pick it up, no matter who it is!" said Riku. Sora nodded. "Alrighty then!"
Riku let go of Sora's shirt collar and the floor manager came again.
"And we're back in three, two, one!" he said.
"Hi, and welcome back to my telethon!" said Riku cheerfully.
Sora's phone rang and at first, he didn't pick it up. So, he let it ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring, and ring...
Riku was getting a little irritated with all that ringing. So finally, he mad and turned to Sora.
"WILL YOU PICK UP THAT FREAKING PHONE?" he cried angrily.
Sora frantically picked up the phone. "Hello?" he asked.
Riku looked at Sora with a look that said "I told you so."
"OH NO!" cried Sora.
"THAT'S IT!" said Riku. He unplugged Sora's phone, picked it up, and chased Sora with it. Kairi just stared at them and sighed...
Then, they went to commercials (in real life) and then came back on, and Riku stood on the stage by himself, wearing his normal clothes instead of a suit and was holding some letters in his hands.
"Hey!" said Riku. "Hope you all enjoyed that sketch!"
"YEAAAHHH!" cheered the audience.
"And now," said Riku. "I'm going to open some fan mail."
He shuffled through the letters until he took out one in a red and blue striped envelope.
"Here's one from Eddie J. from Traverse Town." said Riku. He held it up to read it. "It says, 'Dear Riku, Like you, I am in high school, but I'm a senior aiming for graduation. What bugs me is that the school puts up banners and signs saying that our school is drug and alcohol free, yet 70 percent of the school population has either been stoned or drunk, including freshmen and sophomores. Every day, kids in my classes keep talking about drinking and partying. Most of them wish to get drunk this very second or quit to get high. Any advice?'"
He put the letter back in the envelope, looked at the camera, and smiled. "Well, Eddie, it seems that everyone else but you doesn't want to be in school. Here's some words of encouragement: In ten years, you'll be in the mall, purchasing the most expensive stuff, and you decide to get a pretzel. Your classmates will be the ones serving the pretzels, not you! Because you've got the kickass job, and they don't! You're the superior one! BWA HA HA HA HA!" he said.
"Uh, Riku?" asked Sora. "Didn't you say that you were the superior one?"
"Shut up." said Riku. He opened another letter. "Here's one from Marissa of New York World: Dear Riku, I enjoy driving as much as you do. But, everyone drives to slow. Please help me out."
He grinned. "You know what you should do, Marissa? You should tell everyone you have a permit to drive fast! I do it all the time! Whoops!" He covered his mouth. He blushed. "I shouldn't have said that..."
He tossed all the letters in his hands to the side, and turned to his audience.
"Alright, that's all the time we have for today, give a big round of applause to our special guests, Sora and Kairi!" said Riku.
The audience cheered and applauded. The passed out Sora fangirls were awake and off the ground by this time.
"And I'll see you next week! Later!" said Riku. And then, he ran offstage and disappeared backstage...