Authors Notes: This is mainly back story, but part of the story none-the-less. Enjoy and tell me what you think. This first part under here is Peter writing. In what? You'll just have to wait and see. Also, a warning. All flashbacks are graphic, so if you don't like violence or slash, just skip those parts.
Love...the most beautiful, but most painful thing to experience. It is very rare that you find a love that lasts forever. I had found that love, but if I wasn't so stupid and waited...waited to be with him again, I would have been fine. Nothing never can separate true love. I should have known that. I tell you the truth; love must be patient. In other words, you must wait for it! Even if it takes years, or a lifetime, you will sometime meet, for with true love...forever is not enough.
After love...Peter's side of the story
Peter sat on his bed, feeling dead...more dead than he had ever felt in his whole life. Ever since Caspian, things went down hill for him mentally. He failed college and now had a job in fixing cars. It was the best he got. He pretty much lost all contact with his family, and he almost committed suicide many times. After his sister, Lucy, found out about this, she called the suicide hotline. They got him a case worker named Lauren. Today was the day he was to meet her. She was a cheerful twenty-seven year old with blonde hair and rosy cheeks. She had to evaluate what he told her and get him the proper help.
"Hi! I'm Lauren. It's nice to meet you. I am your new case worker." She said cheerfully "What's your name?" She had a mild southern accent and a happy voice. Peter sat down and avoided all eye contact. "Peter." He said quickly and shyly. He didn't want to be here, but he had to come. "Look," She said with a smile. "I know that you probably don't want to be here, and you probably wish you were at your apartment, but I want to get to know you. I want to help you." She took her hand and placed it on Peter's chin. "Put that chin up. You'll be fine, whatever your problem." She raised his head up.
"So, how are you?" She said as she took out her clipboard. "Not very well." Lauren stared at him blankly. "You are a handsome and strong man. I can tell your smart. Why do you feel 'not very well'?" Peter sighed. He had never opened up to anybody, but Lauren seemed she would understand. "First I want to get this out of the way. I am attracted to men." Lauren nodded her head. "That is perfectly fine with me." She was then probably the only one who could understand. "Tell me an overview of the last year." Peter gulped. He knew he couldn't tell her everything without bursting into tears. "Well, if you want to understand this year, you'll have to know about the two years before that."
"Take your time." Lauren said softly.
"Three years ago, I fell madly in love with a man named Caspian, but I had to leave. I have never seen him since."
"Why did you have to leave?" Lauren asked. "Its...complicated." Peter answered.
"Anyways, I was so torn apart that I was just passing with C's in my first year of college. During that time, my best friend found out I was gay and beat the pulp out of me. He also spread the news to the whole school. When I returned from the hospital, everyone knew. I thought I could trust him...he was my best friend...
FLASH BACK
"Why are you always so distant when it comes to us talking about girls. It's like you never want a girlfriend! Are you even human?" Eric joked as he playfully punched Peter on the shoulder. "Who do you like? You can tell me... promise I wont tell anyone!" Peter sighed. Could he trust him. Yea..he could. He had never broken his trust before. "Alight...this may seem a little strange, but...I like you." Eric stopped breathing for three seconds and then busted out laughing. "Come on Peter! Quit playin. Who do you really like?" Peter chuckled and just repeated what he said. "I like...you." Eric could tell Peter was being serious. "Seriously?" Eric asked. Peter shook his head yes. "Oh my God? Really?" Eric came inches away from Peter's mouth. "I love you too." He said as he opened his mouth to meet Peters. Peter opened his too. They were so close to kissing until...
...SMACK! Peter fell to the ground as his friend kicked him in the stomach. "You queer! How could you! You stupid, idiotic queer! I can't believe you thought that I would love you back! Get out of this dorm room! Out of this college! Just get out!" Tears streamed down Peters face. "GET OUT!" Eric screamed as he kicked him again and again. Peter screamed out in pain. Peter started to crawl to the door, but Eric caught him and kicked him again. He picked Peter up and punched him. He pinned Peter up against a wall and started punching and punching him back and forth on his face. Peters face was bleeding badly. Three other college students pulled Jason away from the now unconscious Peter. "Quit it Eric! What the heck was that?"
"He tried to kiss me...he wanted me! He's a freakin queer!" The other students first were shocked, but then realized it was probably true. No one has ever seen Peter with a girl before. One laughed while the other two shook there heads. They left Peter there, bleeding to death. A kind student found him and called 911. He was nursed back to health after healing from multiple injuries. When he got back to school, everyone seemed to hate him. No one wanted a queer to be with them.
END FLASH BACK
...but it seems EVERYONE I TRUST BETRAYS ME!" Lauren showed a little concern, wrote something on her clipboard, and calmly stated, "You can trust me. I promise I will never stab you in the back." She put a hand on his shoulder. "There are some good men in this world. Finding the right one is the tricky part. Trust me, I know. I believe you will make the right choice." That comforted Peter. He wiped the tears out of his eye continued.
"After all of that took place, I started failing school. Everyone hated me! The professors were even more strict on me. It was as if I was an outcast. I was met with bitter insults and glares all around. I quickly learned if you weren't straight, you weren't accepted. Life became a struggle. Everyday I was on the brink of suicide."
"When was the last time you had these thought?" She asked with sympathy. The thing which was different about Lauren was that she seemed to listen and understand. She didn't care he was gay, she just wanted to help.
"Its an everyday thing now. Today I had a knife to my chest. I just can't bare to hurt my sister."
Lauren looked worried. She jotted some things down on her clipboard as asked, "Your sister? Tell me about her."
"I have two, acctually. Lucy and Susan, and I have a brother named Edmund. Lucy is 15, Ed is 18, and Susan is 21. I haven't seen them in two years now. Are father died in a war, so I was the father to Lucy, but she is old enough to take care of herself now."
Lauren nodded. "Just because she is 15 doesn't mean she doesn't need someone to father her. That is the time, in fact, when she needs a father the most." Peter didn't know what to say. He was quilty in that area. "So after you left college, what happened?"
"I went on to be a journalist. I got lucky in my interview and got the job. I guess I was a good enough writer to make it in, but i guess it was only because I could write. I enjoyed my work there. My boss, Jerry, always seemed, however, to eye me suspiciously. One day I just got fed up with his staring and asked him why he kept staring. He made me come to his office and..." Tears rolled down Peter's face.
FLASH BACK
"Your a good looking boy, Peter. Why don't I ever see you with any women?" His boss asked. Peter got all nervous. He didn't want to get fired. He remembered what happened in college. "I...just don't...um...publicize that I have a girlfriend." His boss, who was in his late twenties, shook his head and chuckled. "Peter, I can read you like a book. I know your not straight." Peter gulped. How did he know? He never really knew his boss and never talked with him. Why was this happening? "Please don't tell any one. Please! I just...you don't understand." His boss chuckled again. "Oh no. I understand fully."
His boss took him and shoved his lips onto his. Peter didn't want this...but he did. Peter kissed back...and soon Peter's shirt was of, then his pants...and soon, he was having full-fledged sex with his boss. They were two men sucking each other. It didn't feel right...but it felt to good. Soon Peter was on his boss, inserting himself. "Yes! Oh God!" His boss yelled. "Shh! They will hear." Peter warned as he continued up and down. It was too late though. Someone was at the door, knocking. "His boss smirked and started screaming. "NO! NO! GET OF ME! AH! HELP!"
Peter stopped, but the door came bursting open as Peter was taken off of his boss. "What happened here?" A gruff security guard demanded. "He tried to rape me!" Peter's heart began to rush. "What!? I did not! You would have heard him!" Peter had not done anything to question his integrity, but he was on top. "He gagged me and tied my hands!" He said as he faked crying and showed his hands that were just recently tied. The guard picked up Peter and dragged hi away. "Why?" Peter yelled as he was hauled to his doom.
END FLASH BACK
"We started to make love, but in the middle of it he tied his hands and started screaming for help. He claimed he raped me. I guess the judge could see I wasn't guilty, so he had me serve a five year term. I was paroled after my first two and a half years. At that time, I had a criminal record at 19 years old."
Lauren was left speechless. This 23 year old had gone through a lot. She wrote more on her clipboard. No wonder he had suicidal thoughts; he was abused everywhere.
"That is just the beginning of my story. After I got out of jail, I started working with cars. I have been fired eight times only for being gay. I have been raped twice by some employees in two different places after finding out I was gay. I have had to move from my apartment five times. I have finally found a place where I am cool with my boss and other employees. After I got settled into my new job, things got much better. I was treated..equal. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.
I got a new I met someone named Jason. He was charming and seemed to love me. One night he professed his love for me. That was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. On out first date...that night..." Peter out of nowhere broke out crying. They were uncontrollable sobs.
FLASH BACK
"Ah Peter! Yes! God, yes!!" Jason shouted he humped Peter. "Oh God...Peter, it feels so good! AH!!" Jason was more like jumping on Peter than acctually doing it the right way. "Jason...Ah! Please..." Peter moaned as he experienced more pain then pleasure. "Mm...oh God..Peter." Jason yelled. He was giving it his all. The whole bed creaked and rocked back and forth. You could hear them scream each others names out. Peter knew he would definitely be kicked out of his apartment. They were making way to much noise, his neighbors were sure to protest. Jason had a darker body than Peter and had black hair and deep brown eyes. Jason reminded him of Caspian. Jason continued to shove himself in. For Jason, it felt amazing. Jason's chest slid up and down on Peter's back as his arms wrapped around his partner. "Oh! MM! God, Peter...Yes!" For Peter, however, this wasn't pleasurable at all. All he felt was something very large inside him. "Jason..Please...it hurts..AH!"
"O god, Peter...your ass...its so tight! Mmm. AH!" Jason seemed not to care. "Jason! Please! Softer...oohhh...slower!" Peter yelled. The pain was unbearable. Jason didn't respect the request. Instead he just went in further and faster. The bed sounded like it would break. People where pounding on there wall and on Peter's door to stop. Sweat covered every part of their bodies. Everything felt so hot. Grunts, moans, and screams were all that could be heard besides the creaks of the bed. "Please stop!" Peter cried out in pain. "If you care any for me, please stop!" That pain was too much. Tears rolled down Peter's face, mixing with the sweat that was already on it. "Oh...Peter! It's coming!! God...it's coming!!" Peter just screamed out Jason's name as the he felt his penis inside. It didn't feel right. Soon, however, Jason started hitting that spot. Peter moaned in pleasure as he continued to hit it over and over. "JASON!!" He screamed out in pleasure. "Peter..oh PETER...AH! Ah..." Jason screamed as his semen spilled into Peter. Peter could feel the warmth inside of him. It felt so damn good. "Thank you...Thank you..." Jason said through the pants. Peter nodded his head. Jason removed himself from Peter, and soon he was asleep.
The next morning, Peter awoke alone and cold. "Jason?" He inquired. Was it a dream? No...it couldn't have been. Why? Peter's ass felt amazingly painful. He got up out of the bed and limped over to a note on the table. Every sentence was joined with a tear. This is what it said:
Dear gullible bastard,
You shouldn't fall for these tricks so easily. You should
have known better. You couldn't tell that all I wanted
was sex? I didn't love you. The only thing I liked was
your body tone and ass. The blonde hair and blue eyes
make you pretty, but men do not look for pretty, we
look for rough. You are a real softy. You will never find
a good man like that. Learn from what I tell you.
Your "love,"
Jason
END FLASH BACK
"He just wanted sex...he didn't loved." He said through the sobs. "The sad part is that I loved him back...I really did." Lauren got out of her seat and hugged Peter. All he did was cry on her shoulder. He was a very emotionally unstable boy. "It was only two weeks ago. He reminded me of Caspian. I thought he loved me." He said through the sobs. Lauren held him for a while. He just sobbed and cried. After about 1o minutes straight, he stopped. "You'll be fine, Peter. How has the last two weeks gone?" Lauren asked still holding him. "Living hell. I can't stand life and more." She rubbed his back as he still sobbed.
After they separated from hug, Lauren wrote some more things on her clipboard. "Alright, after evaluating your condition, I will schedule you to see a therapist, Ms. Linda Eastridge, every other Tuesday. Every Thursday you'll get some counseling at Doctor Carmen's, and one Saturday every month, you'll be going to a group of rape victims and talk things over there. You will see me every other Wednesday to report how things are going, Ok? Does this conflict with any schedule of yours?" Peter shook his head no. "Good. I will arrange times for you. I will be seeing you in two weeks. If you ever need to give me a call, here is my card." She handed him a card and gave him another hug. "I'll pray that things get better." Peter thanked her and gave her another hug. While they were still embraced, her cell phone went off. "Oh, this is the crisis line. Gotta answer...Hello?"
"Oh God please help me! He's coming towards me. He is going to rape me!!" The girl sounded as if she was dying. "Calm down. Can you get out of the room." Lauren asked urgently.
"No! He's in here...he's coming towards me!! Help!! AH!! Tell my brother and sister, Edmund and Lucy, I love them." Peter totally went into shock. Susan? He ran up to Lauren and snagged the phone from her. "Susan! This Peter, your brother! Get out of there, now! If you could stand up to Miraz and Jadis, you can stand up to him!" He shouted into the phone. "Peter! I'm not strong enough. Ah! Hes-" She was soon cut of by the phone dropping. You could still hear her screaming. "Where are you!?" Peter yelled. "52nd street on Belcher!" She screamed. "I'm close." He whispered to himself. Peter ran for the door. Lauren snagged his shirt. "Stop! You don't know what your doing!" Peter pushed her hand away and ran down the stairs. Millions of thoughts ran through his mind as he jumped down three steps at a time.
He ran out into the and kicked someone of their Mo-Ped. He hopped on and drove fast in between cars and running red lights. He had to get there. He turned the corner of 52nd street. He stopped the engine to see if he could hear screaming. Sure enough, he could her. He buzzed down to the house and slid of the mo-ped. He picked up a rather large stick and kicked the door open. There then he saw the most horrible sight...his own sister being raped. Peter first pried the man off of Susan. He took the stick and hit him in stomach, then the head, then kicked him to the floor. He jumped on him and laid several punches on his face. He stopped in horror after seeing the intruder. "Jason?" His anger burned even more. Every punch grew more powerful. He stopped after Susan screamed stop. He looked and saw his beautiful sister bleeding and bruised. Peter took his shirt of and tore into three pieces. He applied pressure to the wounds to lessen the bleeding.
"Stop!" Jason yelled as he pulled out a gun. "Get on the ground...NOW!" Peter turned around and glared at his opponent. Police cars could be heard outside. "Go to Hell!" Jason yelled as he pulled the trigger. Peter fell to the floor, bleeding. Was this the end?
Authors Notes: Whoa...this turned out way longer that I expected. Just a side note, there will be no romance between Peter and Lauren. That would be sick. Caspian's POV will be coming soon. The next chapter is still gonna be covering Peter's side of the story, so just hang tight. The more reviews, the faster I update. Tell me what you think!