A/N: I LIIIIIIIVVVEEEE! I come to beg forgiveness and offer this rather long chapter. First things first
Wickedchick500: Aw! Thanks, but admittedly only I and Fantine have had lines that are actually in the script…by the way in this chapter I will introduce my assistant director and little sister.
Elfigreen14: I can't see Grantaire as abusive either, he's a drunk but he's a funny sarcastic drunk, unlike Raoul who is an angry drunk.
Acebea: It's my favorite pairing too! And I have updated late but…
Caelia di Mekio: Thanks! Crack fics are fun to write!
FantasticalMisticalWonder: They're my favorites too, your story Point of No Return did a good job with both
Ace of Gallifrey: Glad to get a laugh out of people! What can I say never been a big Raoul fan so I couldn't resist, I'm sure if said Viscount could read this he'd be very offended, my work is completed!
ILoveRaminKarmiloo: (First LOVE your screen name!) Never Fear! I have not abandoned this story! Glad you find it to be epic, enjoy the chapter!
Okay so if anyone is actually still reading this than I'd just like to say that I was originally going to update my Titanic story first (I'm not self-advertising *shifty eyes*) but the response for this story was so overwhelming I had to work on it. Thank you to all my reviewers and story alert and favorites people! Y'all are the best!
Disclaimer: I no own Mizzies, Lnd's, or any other references made in here. If you want it put more eloquently look elsewhere.
Jenny:*walks into stage…theater…place where the mizzies have been kept* Hello all! How is everyone?
Everyone: *is dead*
Jen: Oh crab cakes not again! *turns to readers* you guys warned me! This is what happens when I leave them without food or water for several months. *pulls out a large gold wand with an A on the end*
Everyone: *is now living*
Èponine: Well it's about freaking time!
Jen: Yes, yes I'm a bad person; we've been over this already see? *points to AN*
Enjolras: This is injustice!
Jenny: Injustice? THIS! IS! SPARTA! *clears throat* Sorry couldn't resist. Anyways, Enjy I know you love rebellion but you point a weapon of any kind at me I will lock you in a room with several crazed fan girls.
Enjolras: *Backs off, mostly because I called him Enjy*
Jenny: Anyways! A bunch of you will get to start today, and since you guys got so out of hand last chapter I am forced to bring in an assistant. Julie get in here!
Julie:*pops in with half a bagel in her hand* AH! I didn't shoot the fudge!
Jen: Hey Julie!
Julie: Oh God no…please no!
Jen: *grins* welcome to-
Julie: Don't say it! I can figure it out.
Jen: Oh poopie on you, anyway you're my assistant director so you help me keep them from interrupting!
Julie: Don't you like it when they interrupt, for "comedy"?
Jen: I- You- They-
Julie: That's what I thought, Bah bye!
Jen: The sad thing is that I'm the older one! *sigh* Marius and Chorus just go!
Marius: Can't I have a different part?
Jen: *brandishes wand* Oh I can give you a new part!
Marius: Eep!
BYSTANDER 1 Hurry up!
MARIUS You won't believe it! Uhh... believe what?
Jen: Are you-*looks around* Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! *Scenery and costumes magically appear* Now-
Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!
Jen: Uh yeah that.
BYSTANDER 3
Take a look what's over here!
BYSTANDER 4 Who imagined just how big the place would be?
BYSTANDERS 2 & 3The man called Mr. Y put it up in just a year
.
Marius: Ple-
Jen: OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE MR. Y IS THE PHANTOM! *covers mouth* oh shiz! If you'll excuse me I need to go eat a bar of soap…it's my spoiler penalty. In the meantime back to work.
ALL BYSTANDERSIt's a little slice of Heaven by the sea
(More onlookers enter, gazing around in amazement.)
ONLOOKER 1 Look, there's restaurants!
MARIUS A midway!
ONLOOKER 3 A gigantic concert hall!
BYSTANDER 1 The biggest funhouse ever seen!
ONLOOKER 4 A volcano that erupts each day at three!
MARIUS Wonders brought from 'round the world!
ONLOOKER 1 & MARIUS The season's just begun,
but Mr. Y has got it all!
BYSTANDER 1 Crystal fountains!
MARIUS Grand pavilions!
BYSTANDER 3 & 4Hell, it musta cost him millions!
Real Mme. Giry: Language!
Cosette: Uh, what are you doing here?
Mme Giry: Someone's got to keep zhings in order while Jenny's washing 'er mouth!
BYSTANDERS/ONLOOKERS It's a little slice of Heaven by the sea!
(The crowd gets bigger, and more festive.)
ONLOOKER 1 Over here!
CROWD (ALL) The sights! The sounds! The lights! The smells!
The wonder wheels! The carousels!
The gardens and arcades,
the marble colonnades!
Marius: What's a colonnade?
Jen: I'm back! Thanks Mme! *Pulls out dictionary* A series of regularly spaced columns!
CROWD 1 The rides!
MARIUS (Echoing.) The rides!
CROWD 1 The shows!
CROWD 2 (Echoing.) The shows!
CROWD 1 & 2 The games of chance!
CROWD 1 The rush!
CROWD 2 (Echoing.) The rush!
CROWD 1 The whirl!
CROWD 2 (Echoing.) The whirl!
CROWD 1 The sheer romance!
CROWD 2 The sheer romance!
Marius: I'm really good at romantic stuff! *sings* A heeeeeeeeart fuuulllll
Jen: NO! DO NOT SING THAT SONG OR I WILL BE FORCED HANG YOU FROM THE RAFTERS BY YOUR TOES!
Everyone: *is freaked*
BYSTANDER 1 And the rumors…
MARIUS What about 'em?
BYSTANDER 3 & 4Things so odd you daren't doubt 'em…
ONLOOKER 1Freaks and monsters…
Jen: Ouch
MARIUS Aberrations…
ONLOOKERS 3 & 4Weird mechanical creations…
PASSERBY 1And the Genius who designed it wears a mask!
CROWD (Whispers.) A mask? A mask?
MARIUS But what's behind it? Can you tell us what is-?
Jen: One, I'd have to scrub my mouth out again. Two, you'd faint faster than Christine in the Phantom's lair.
Christine: Well you try seeing a wax doll of yourself in a wedding dress!
Jen: Oh go back to your own fic.
BYSTANDERS What's behind it?
SPECTATORS What's behind it?
OBSERVERS What's behind it?
FULL CROWD what's behind it?
?
(The crowd erupts in a burst of excitement, fanning out through the park,
Chattering and pointing.)
PASSERBY 1 Fancy ballrooms!
PASSERBY 2 Vaulted spaces!
ONLOOKERS 1 & 2Shoot-the-chutes and steeplechases!
ONLOOKERS 3 & 4A casino!
SPECTATORSA museum!
PASSERBY Look! A Roman colosseum!
BYSTANDER 1 And a concert hall that's bigger than the Met
!
ALL BYSTANDERS (First singly, then building to the full group.)
What's inside it?
What's inside it?
What's inside it?
What's inside it?
(The façade of the amusement park bleeds through whilst the ensemblefreeze, and we see, behind the vast posters, MEG and two other chorines,peeking through a hole and surveying the crowd.)
Jen: Okay Cosette- Cosette? Dag-diggitedy! Get over here!
Cosette: Dag-diggitedy?
Jen: Yes dag-diggetedy, now get over here and start your song!
Cosette: Please no, have mercy!
Jen: You do realize I've brought your mother and your adoptive father back to life and the Thernadiers, other than Gavroche and Èponine have made no appearances? This is about as merciful as I get.
Cosette:*sigh* Fine.
MEG/COSETTE Jesus, what a crowd.
SHOWGIRL 1 Nervous?
MEG/ COSETTE Just a bit. These people are all going to see me topless aren't they?
Jen: Don't worry I'll be supplying them with blindfolds, and myself as well, I'm trying to preserve the innocence of our eyes. Marius may have actually hurt me if I didn't.
Cosette: Thank you?
SHOWGIRL 1 Kid, look who you are!
SHOWGIRL 2 The headline act!
SHOWGIRL 1 A major star!
SHOWGIRL 2 You're already a hit.
(To SHOWGIRL 1.) Got a match?
MEG (To herself.) Wonder what he'll think… Who?
SHOWGIRL 1 (to SHOWGIRL 2.) The boss?
MEG if he's even here. If who's here?
Jen: Phantom/Enjolras…dog gone it! I'll be back later.
SHOWGIRL 1 Honey please… He's here.
SHOWGIRL 2 And in just two days,
he'll be there tossing you bouquets.
At our gala premiere.
Enjolras: Um no I won't.
Jen: *with soap bubbles* *spits* Enjolras, you don't speak till next scene.
Enjolras: Till I hear You Sing?
Jen: What? No I don't sing until-ohh! Yeah, see readers you don't have to be blonde to be a ditz. *clears throat* any who…
SHOWGIRL 2 Picture it!
SHOWGIRL 1 The cream of Manhattan!
SHOWGIRL 2 Celebrities! Millionaires!
SHOWGIRL 1 Watching you!
MEG/COSETTE Ahh! PRESSURE!
(In a private reverie.) I'll be waiting in the wing,
wound up tighter than a spring,
as the house begins to dim.
And I'll practice ev'ry line,
hoping desperately to shine.
Shining only for him.
Enjolras: Awkward…
SHOWGIRLS Just imagine how they'll cheer
At the moment you appear.
MEG/COSETTE Stepping out before the scrim..!
Let 'em whoop and let 'em call,
I won't hear the crowd at all…
SHOWGIRLS No, it's only for him.
MEG/COSETTE (Suddenly self-conscious.) Tell me how I look.
SHOWGIRL 2 Fine.
MEG/ COSETTE (Worried.) Just fine?Great I'm a perfectionist too!
Jen:*le gasp!* Was that…sarcasm?
MEG/COSETTE What about my hair?
SHOWGIRL 2 Beautiful.
MEG/COSETTE/ You swear?
SHOWGIRL 1 Trust me, once the boss
sees how you put that song across.
SHOWGIRL 2 Hell, he ain't got a prayer
Enjolras: Okay, now I'm scared.
MEG (Hopefully.) You mean it?
Enjolras: Yeah, I really am scared.
Jen:Oh shut up, Cosette -
Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!
Jen: Okay who opened the Python Portal?
SHOWGIRLS You'll step out into the light.
SHOWGIRL 1 Looking lovely!
SHOWGIRL 2 Burning bright!
SHOWGIRLS All vitality and vim!
MEG (Losing herself in the vision.)Ah-Ahh..!
And I'll rapturously float
through the melody he wrote,
singing only for him.
SHOWGIRLS
And before the music dies, up the audience will rise,
nearly bursting at the brim!
And you'll stand there in the glow…
MEG (Wishful.) And perhaps, at last he'll know…
Èponine: This is all sounding very familiar.
(Another SHOWGIRL peeks out of the stage door.)
SHOWGIRL 3 Girls! Hurry up! We're on!
Jen: Blindfolds!
Everyone: *can't see*
(And as the company begin to move again and the girls rush to make an
entrance, the Gates to PHANTASMA swing open and the girls come out, now in
the company of the specialty acts – MS FLECK, as an aerialist, GANGLE, the
barker, and the strongman SQUELCH.)
Jen: *while swinging from a trapeze* This is really hard when you can't-AAHHH! *Weakly*See.
BYSTANDER Where is she?
ONLOOKER 1 Look! There!
ONLOOKER 2 In the center!
PASSERBY 1 Just like in the posters!
PASSERBY 2 it's the Ooh La La Girl!
ONLOOKER 3 & 4 Meg Giry!
MEG/ COSETTE Welcome each and everyone
to our firmament of fun!
SHOWGIRLS A buffet of Ballyhoo! What the heck is Ballyhoo?
MEG/ COSETTE & SHOWGIRLSIt's where Coney comes to play
and it's opening today!
MEG/ COSETTE And it's only for you!
SHOWGIRL 1 And you!
SHOWGIRL 2 And you!
SHOWGIRL 3 And you!
SHOWGIRLS & MEGEntertainment day and night,
sure to dazzle and delight!
MEG/ COSETTE And of course we'll be there too!
SHOWGIRLS (Waving and flirting with the crowd.) Yoo hoo!
SHOWGIRLS & MEG/ COSETTE We're so happy that you're here,
for the season's big premiere!
And it's only for you!
(MEG/ COSETTEdoes a little curtsey to the audience and runs off. As the SHOWGIRLS
continue to dance; the stage revolves again so that we're backstage.)
GANGLE/JAVERT: Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Meg Giry, the Ooh La La Girl! Five shows daily, only here at Phantasmal.
(Begins to cross fade to MEG / COSETTE )
And now the aerial exoticism of the fabulous Miss Fleck – half bird, half
woman, all for only 10 cents a ticket…
Jen; I am not half-bird!
(MADAME GIRY/FANTINE is waiting there and MEG/COSETTE runs over to her.)
MEG/ COSETTE How was I? Tell me? Hi Mommy!
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE Hi Cosette! Delightful, Meg. Just perfect. And I say that not only as your mother… But as your producer. I'm a producer! I wanna be a producer!
Jen:GAH! EVERY TIME!
MEG/COSETTE Was he watching?
Enjolras: No I wasn't, we've been over this already!
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE I'm sure he was. I'm sure he'll have much to say about how much you've progressed.
Enjolras: Liar
Jen: Do shut up kindly!
(They begin to exit. Then she pauses offhandedly.)
By the way, it seems you have an admirer. A certain Mr. Thompson.
MEG/COSETTE (Hesitantly.) Is he important? I don't like where this is going…
(They exit as the stage darkens until…)
SCENE 2 – The Aerie.
Jen: okay Enjolras you're on!
Enjolras: Can't Marius do this?
Jen: I told you he's too lame!
(In the darkness, the glowing figure of a beautiful woman suddenly appears.She is ravishing, breathtaking, and alive. Behind her circles a man in a mask – THEPHANTOM/ENJOLRAS.
He embraces her from behind, and their bodies entwine, but at the height of the ecstatic moment, we realize that the woman is not in fact real… But a cleverly devised automaton.
THE PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS pulls back, breaking the spell. The lights rise, revealing the
Phantom's workroom.)
Èponine: Okay, that's just creepy. *stands next to the Christine robot which has the exact same facial features as her*
Enjolras: Did I hit my head or something?
Jen: Don't finish that, please, I refuse to write such a corny line. *changes him into Phantom*
Enjolras: Seriously? What's up with the mask:
Jen:*groans, snatches mask and holds up mirror*
Enjolras: Gah!
Èponine: Wow, I thought the robot was creepy, then again, I also thought scar face here was a pretty boy.
Enjolras: Do shut up.
Èponine: Make me!
Jen: Wait you thought he was pretty?
Èponine: I- Well- That's beside the point.
Jen: *smirks* Uh huh…
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS (To the automaton.) Ten long years,I'm talking to a robot?
Living a mere façade of life.
Ten long years, Since what?
Jen: Since the first show.
Enjolras: Oh
wasting my time on smoke and noise.
In my mind,
I hear melodies pure and unearthly,
but I find,
I can't give them a voice without you! Who?
Jen:*groan* keep singing.
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS My Christine..! Oh…
My Christine..!
Lost and gone…
Lost and gone… okay I think we get the point now!
The day starts.
The day ends.
Time crawls by.
Night steals in, pacing the floor.
The moments creep,
yet I can't bear to sleep I'm an insomniac?
'till I hear you sing…
And weeks pass.
And months pass.
Seasons fly.
Still you don't walk through the door.
And in a haze.
I count the silent days That's all he's been doing…for ten years.
'till I hear you sing once more.
And sometimes,
at night times,
I dream that you are there - -
Fantine: I dreamed a dream in-
Jen: CAN IT!
PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS But wake holding nothing,
but the empty air… I'm schizophrenic too, awesome.
And years come.
And years go.
Time runs dry.
Still I ache, down to the core. AND I've got a stomach ache? How much more is wrong with me here?
Lina Lamont:*high squeaky voice* What's wrooooong with meeee? Whyyyyyyy doesn't he-?
Jen: Oh no you don't I had to listen to that song 7 times in a week last spring! *Lina disappears* Please continue.
PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS: My broken soul Gah! It's not enough that I can't sleep, see stuff that isn't there, and have a stomach ache but my soul broke! Ponine this is all your fault apparently!
Èponine: Cool. And don't call me Ponine only Marius gets to do that.
Jen: For the record, there will be E/E in here but at the moment they are determined to hate each other since I stuck them together. They're quite stubborn. Now Enjolras kindly continue.
PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS can't be alive and whole,
'till I hear you sing once more.
And music-
Your music! -
It teases at my ear.
I turn - - and it fades away
And you're not here! See? Now I'm hearing things!
Let hopes pass,
let dreams pass!
Let them die!
Without you, what are they for? That's just sad…
Jen: SHUT UP!
PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS I'll always feel
no more that halfway real,
'till I hear you sing once more! The song's over! Now can I go?
Jen: No one leaves until I hear you sing! Whoops typo, I meant until I say so. Now Fantine and Meg, you're on.
(Gently and lovingly, he covers up the lifeless mannequin. Suddenly MEG/COSETTE and MADAME GIRY/FANTINE burst in. MEG/COSETTE rushes over to him.)
MEG Tell me, did you watch?
Enjolras: Cosette, don't kid yourself, we both know I didn't.
Jen: You know I gave you a script for I reason.
MEG/COSETTE Tell me that you saw! I want him to lie?
Did you hear the crowd?
The way they cheered?
I hope you're proud - -
Did you like the new routine? I didn't!
Was it passable, I mean? No.
I can change a thing or two, Please change it!
what should I do? Anything!
No, don't say it - - I can guess, the lyrics, the costumes, the choreography, the costumes
but I promise, I'll progress - -
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS (Distracted.) Yes, of course. Whatever you feel is best…Can't she take a hint?
MEG/COSETTE Apparently I can't
Did the costume look OK?No!
Too revealing, would you say? YES!
People seemed to like the view. Um…ew?
MADAME GIRY Meg, please!
MEG I could show a bit more skin - - NO!
That would surely bring 'em in - - Eeewww…
MADAME GIRY (Exploding.)Meg!
(MEG stops, wary.)
Can't you see that the master's at work?
Cosette: Doing what?
Fantine: Playing with his Christine/Èponine doll.
(Enjy and Eppie glance at each other and look away quickly)
Jen: Awkward…
Fantine:…moving on.
Can't you see that his mind's somewhere else?
Grantaire: *cough*gutter*cough*
Èponine:*squirms uncomfortably*
GIRY/FANTINE: Can't you see that obviously
he's thinking of things more important than you!
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS (Warningly.) Careful, Madame. You're forgetting yourself.And you should know I can hear you.
Jen:*facepalm* That's the idea smart one.
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE Don't you see he forgot what this is? Uh… what is it?
Jen:Sing and all shall be revealed, young grasshopper.
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: Op'ning day, big deal, what's the fuss? Oh.
Our success means naught, I guess,
compared to the things that the master must do.
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS That's quite enough.
(MADAME GIRY rips the cover off of the mannequin.)
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE (Contemptuously.)Christine! Christine!
MEG/COSETTE (Disappointed.)Christine.
Èponine: Yeesh, sorry Scarface likes me.
Enjolras: Would you quit that!
Èponine: *innocently* What?
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: Meg. Leave. Now.
Cosette:Yeesh, leaving!
(Without another word(Yeah sure), MEG turns and exits.)
Enjolras: THANK GOD!
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: (Continues, once MEG is gone.)In Paree,
when the mob surrounded you,
who was there?
Enjolras: I have no clue.
FANTINE: *facepalm* We were there!
Enjolras: Oh.
Were was she,
when the lawmen hounded you?
Gone, long gone.
We stayed on.
Who concealed you safe away?
Smuggled you up to Calais?
Found a freighter out of France - -
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: (Assertive.)I don't see the problem.
This is ancient hist'ry. It's only ten years ago.
Jen: TEEEN YEEAARS OOLLD!
Everyone: *stares at Jen*
Jen: Must…not…give away…plot points!
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: 0_o And once here,
when the sideshow hired you,
who stood by?
Meg and I.
While they kept you on display,
Who kept working night and day?
Who gave your their very lives?
And who helped you buy that sideshow?
Enjolras: I own a sideshow?
Jen: You own a theme park.
Enjolras: Did I set the freaks free?
Jen: Yes,…I think.
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE Who helped you finance your scheme?
Who wouldn't quit
'till your act was a hit.
And your hit could become your dream? I Dreamed that looooovvvvvvvvvveeeee would-
Jen:*eye daggers*
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE:*cans it* Who plied the politicians?
Lured investors and the press?
No, not her!
And who stayed with you,
Helped you and advised you?
We stayed with you,
loved and idolized you!
Enjolras: You people are all crazy!
MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: She betrayed you,
shunned you and despised you!
She chose Raoul, chose his beauty and youth!
It's long past time you faced up to - - !
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: Enough!
Grantaire: You're just mad because I married 'Ponine.
Enjolras: *testily* I had to say that it's in the script!
Jen: Sounded realistic to me…
Enjolras: Would you stay out of this?
Jen:*brandishes wand*
Enjolras: Sorry I asked…
PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS(Coldly.)You'll be repaid, as I promised you would.
Now, if you've anything else left to say..?
Fantine: Well actually-
Jen: OUT!
(Without another word, MADAME GIRY exits. For a moment, THE PHANTOM is
thrown. Then he turns back tot he automaton, almost as if for support.)
Oh Christine!
My Christine!He's so repititive…
Yes, you fled from my face once before, And who wouldn't?
but Christine,
what we shared, even you can't ignore,
Èponine: Which was…
Jen: *can think of several naughty answers*…
Èponine and Enjolras:*glance at each other then glance away*
Gavroche: Awkward…
my Christine.
I'll be no longer denied!
I'll have you back by my side,
my sweet Christine!
(He breaks off, overcome. Then, back in control of himself.) Apparently I have many issues, no wonder I'm talking to a robot.
Èponine: How sad, robo-me is your only friend
ENJOLRAS: *glares* And come what may,
I swear you somehow, someway;
I will hear you sing once more!
Jen: And that's a rap! I hope you all liked it! Review please!