Here's the second chapter! By the way, thank you so much for those who have already favored, reviewed and/or added it to your alerts!

It was a couple days before I actually opened the book. I wasn't dumb – anything given by a relative to Fred Weasley and James Potter could punch you in the face (literately) or squirt a greenish liquid on your face, until you suddenly have flying boils covering your body. I had seriously considered stuffing it right in my trunk under the particular smelly, yellowing socks that I've forgotten to wash since the First Year. Until finally, I opened it up to the first page. But believe me, it took a lot to convince myself I should read it, and Scorpius Malfoy doesn't give in too easily.

(Well, okay. All it took was another glance at Rose, and I was practically up in my dormitory, book in hand, in two seconds flat. So maybe Albus was right; I am a little desperate.)

Introduction: Getting Started

We all have a secret special someone at some point in our lives. Whether she's the local Weather Witch on WizardNetwork Channel 4, or your best friend's cousin, daughter of some wizard who helped defeat some Dark Lord when they were 17 and what not, 12 Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches is guaranteed and dedicated to give you a happy and loving relationship with the women you desire.

With endless, positive results from countless wizards, 12 Fail Safe Ways to Charm Wizards has proven its self to be the secret key to unlocking a girl's heart. Not convinced yet? Here are some wizards who are eager to share there good luck with future readers -

"I used to be the joke of the school, always admiring Becky Standlocks from the other side of the classroom. Now, we're happily married and have 5 kids. This book changed my life!" Albert Ponsky, 34.

"This book really is the key to a women's heart." Vincent Loop, 21

"I thought I was going to die alone...with maybe 20 or 30 cats. I have never thought this again since I picked up 12FSWTCW." Jack Gurple, 51

"Read this. Or Die." Tom Marvolo Riddle, 63

Aren't those readers happy? But don't despair, that could be you, just 12 short chapters away! Before we start the journey to your love life, 12 Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches has some few questions about your relationship status, etc., to help you achieve the best results.

Look around the room you are in, or go to a more crowded room. Who are you most attracted to, and what are their features? Circle your answer.

a) Girls that are wearing considerably less clothing

b) Girls that seem happy and cheerful; fun to be around

c) Girls that are currently with their boyfriend

d) Girls that seem depressed

e) No one – all you can think about is the girl you currently desire

f) Men.

Notice: If you picked F, this is NOT THE BOOK FOR YOU.

Well, this was easy so far. Trust Albus to get me a book with a survey you can find in most Muggle teen magazines. Without hesitation, I circled (E). The ink vanished, soaking into the pages.

Think of the girl you desire. If currently none, think of people that are close to you. What is ONE WORD she might think if she thought of YOU?

a) Toe-rag

b) Nerd

c) BFF!

d) Scary

e) Player

f) Friend

I hesitated on this one. We were friends, right? If friends emotionally tear each other down every second we get the chance. Then yeah. (F) it is.

3. What do you find attractive in a girl? Check all that apply.

a) Her smile

b) Her clothes

c) Her personality

d) Her wandwork

e) Her skin

f) Her hair

g) Everything

Everything.

4. How do you feel about yourself?

a) Awesome!

b) Confident

c) Okay

d) Meh.

After four years of prejudice with the Malfoy family name, you learn to not care what people think of you, and move on with your life. Of course, hexing them was never a bad idea, either. I filled in a pretty solid (B) and turned the page.

Congratulations! You have completed the survey. The book is currently registering your answers, and will change based on what you circled. You are free to turn to the next page, and embark on the journey to the fail-safe-ways to charm the witch of your dreams!

Comments, reviews, questions, concerns? I had a hard time writing this, knowing that this chapter was going to be unbelievably boring! I had to focus more on the introduction on this book, but the future chapters will rarely be anything like this!