Note From The Author—Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to this story. Just as a heads up, the chapters in this story will be quite short, keeping with the tradition of the first chapter and the tone I'm trying to create.
With her breath heaving and her chest aching, Rachel Berry shot upright in her bed. It was the eighth night in a row that she had woken up violently, a perfectly macabre counterpoint to the horrifying events replaying in the nightmare. Eight days since Quinn's death; eight days since blissful elation had burned up into pain and crushing despair.
In those eight days she had barely left her room. She ate only when her body could no longer take it, got up from her bed for the same reasons. On the second day her fathers had been forced to call Mercedes over to talk her into changing out of her bloodied wedding dress. They had succeeded in that at least, but hadn't been able to get another word out of her. All of the calls from her friends and her fathers' pleadings fell on deaf ears. There was nothing that could draw her from her thoughts. But on that eighth Rachel realized with a sickening dread that she would have to get up, get ready and leave that day. Many things could keep her there, but she wouldn't miss Quinn's funeral.
A crushing dread settled over her as she rose from her bed. Mechanically, she went about the familiar business of showering, drying and styling her hair, applying her tasteful makeup, and getting dressed. The marked difference in the process being the fact that the dress she smoothed over her body was a subdued black rather than her usual colors and animals.
With a shaking hand Rachel picked up her phone and paged through the missed calls and text messages that had been bombarding her in the past days. Her heart sank when she realized that the one name she had been longing to see still wasn't there. Finn had still made no attempt to contact her.
Her father's knock at the door brought her swiftly back to reality, and with that same trembling hand she set her phone back down. Anyone she wanted or needed to see would be at the funeral. She could only hope that Finn would be willing to speak to her there.
When the Berry clan arrived at the church it was already packed. The minute she stepped from the car she spotted Kurt, who dropped Blaine's hand to run and embrace her. The feeling of his arms around her was something she hadn't realized she had needed, but a hug from her best friend actually helped. When they pulled apart the joined hands, and after Blaine came to take his place at Kurt's other side, the three of them took an almost simultaneous deep breath and walked into the church.
It seemed like half of Lima was there, including all of the Glee Club, the Football team and the Cheerios. The Warblers turned out in full blazered glory, even some of their other rival show choir members came. Quinn's family huddled together in the front pews while New Directions took their places behind them.
Rachel took a seat near the aisle, her and Blaine almost reflexively putting Kurt between them. If anyone noticed that Finn chose to sit in the space the furthest away from her, they were kind enough not to mention it; but she knew. Nothing could erase the fact that her fiancé seemed to be deliberately avoiding her. Even so there would be no point in trying to speak to him now; not here.
The atmosphere was understandably subdued, and as she took it all in Rachel realized that there was one person she didn't see. Noah Puckerman was noticeably absent. Turning in her seat she went to look for him, and saw her mother.
Her eyes briefly met her fathers' and they both offered quiet smiles. There wasn't a lot of time to make a decision, and her head spun as she wondered what she should do. Almost before she knew it she was on her feet, headed for the door where Shelby was standing. She was almost there when she finally saw Noah. He was standing on the threshold just behind Shelby with Beth in his arms, holding his little girl as she cried. He whispered something to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead before passing her to Shelby who kissed her and passed her off to her babysitter.
As Beth's sitter left the church Shelby finally turned and saw Rachel. She moved quickly to her daughter and embraced her fiercely, and Rachel forced back tears as she clung to the only mother she had ever known for that one brief moment. Their eyes met briefly as they pulled apart, and just as soon as it began the moment was over and Shelby was headed down the aisle.
Rachel felt oddly empty as she turned, but when she saw that Noah was still just staring out the door it fled her mind. Here was something she could potentially do to help, and Lord knew she needed some way to help.
Reaching out, she touched his shoulder gently. "Noah?"
He turned slowly, as if every movement caused him pain; and maybe it did. "We didn't want Beth here for the funeral," he said quietly. "I think she's too little to understand but if she does I…. I didn't want her last memory of her mother…." His voice cracked and he wiped furiously at the tears in his eyes.
"Oh Noah…" Without hesitation she reached up and wrapped him in her arms. It took a moment, but soon he was holding on to her like a life line and she felt his hand fist at her back. It was amazing how something could feel so familiar and so strange all at the same time. Sometimes she actually forgot how much time she and Puck had spent like this over the years, with her cheek pressed against his shoulder and his face buried against her neck.
Organ music started playing and he pulled back, wiping more tears away. "I don't know what to do," he whispered.
"None of us do. I'm sure things are weird between you and Shelby still; do you want to come sit with us?" she asked hesitantly.
It took a moment but he finally offered a silent nod, and she reached out to take his hand. Together, they made their way back to where the Glee kids were seated, their hands linked still as they sat.
The music came to its haunting crescendo, and when the pallbearers started in the tears Rachel had been holding back all day came pouring down. Her hand clutched desperately at Noah's and he squeezed right back. Then the coffin passed them and his tears turned into full on sobs; his usually strong body shaking with the effort to stay quiet. Kurt reached over to take his other hand, and he held fast to both of his friends. Her heart breaking for all of them, all Rachel could manage to do was lean into Noah and hope that they would make it through.