A Very Johnkat Christmas
Part Two

You are Karkat Vantas and some stupid fucking thing is waking you up. Great. Just. Fucking. Great. The one night you actually manage to get some sleep between chats with your long distance boyfriend and Galaxy of Conquest raids with Sollux and you're woken up at who knows when by your god damned lusus.

You're woken by someone's girly-ass screaming and your lusus' inability to calm the fuck down. The combination of freakishly high notes and horribly familiar clicking keeps you from falling back asleep. Great. Some poor, unlucky sap just happened to wander into your hive in the middle of the day and provoked your lusus and is now reaping the benefits. Fucking a.

You pull yourself out of your recuperacoon and onto the floor of your respiteblock. Sopor slime drips off of your clothes and pools around your feet. Ugh, how fucking delightful. Quickly, you change out of your sleeping clothes and pull on a fresh shirt and jeans. Well… they may not be fresh, but they aren't covered in sopor. It doesn't matter, all of your clothes look the same. You grab your sickles from their place by your door and leave the room.

It's routine for you to wrestle your custodian out of its throes of rage and defend some fucking idiot who wanted to rob your hive for all it's worth. You really shouldn't do something stupid like this, but you can't help it. If someone's going to attempt to steal your shit, you could at least defend it. Your lusus isn't even competent enough to attempt it.

Oh god it's already halfway down the stairs god damn that thing so hard to a thousand sweeps of fucking torture. The screaming from the idiot thief persists and you feel like blood is about to seep out of your ears and onto the floor. Your lusus continues its clicking, scratching speech of rage and you twitch, raising your sickles above your head and trying to threaten it.

YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CUSTODIAN, you call out, STOP RUBBING YOUR GOD DAMNED ASS WIPE RAGE TAINT ALL OVER THE STAIRS AND LET ME FIGURE THIS OUT.

Of course, your insults and profanities don't deter your lusus. Neither does the first sharp click of your sickle against its hard shell. It takes a whole short round of mostly one sided GRIEF to pacify your lusus, and even then you have to manually drag it back to its little cave. Rolling your eyes, you continue down the stairs to greet your unwelcome visitor.

You sigh and hit the light switch, flicking your overhead grub on and bathing the room in light. The brightness fucking burns, but it doesn't really matter anymore. You're used to your shitty house and its shitty lighting by now, anyway.

You notice that the idiot's girly screaming has stopped and look up to greet it.

Except that's not another troll standing in front of you, in the middle of the lower floor of your hive. That's a… a thing that you've never seen before in your whole life. You notice first that it's squishy as hell. It's pink and squinting and finally silent. Its body is oddly proportioned, with long and awkward limbs that splay everywhere. Its eyes, though wide in shock (if whatever the hell it is even has emotions, that is), are tiny and you can just barely make out the wide blue iris behind its thick glasses. Fangs that are even flatter and duller than your own poke out just barely over one of its dull pink lips. It has messy black hair that's a little flatter than yours, but you can't see any horns.

You blink three times.

This thing is kind of fucking repulsive, on first sight. On second sight, it's a little less horrific. And on the third, it's kind of… cute. Adorable. Oh god what are you even fucking thinking Vantas you've officially lost it.

WHAT THE HELL, you yell, meaning to add more. The words fall silent and dead in your throat, however.

The thing gapes and cowers against the wall of your hive. Who are you? it asks meekly, in an unfamiliar accent.

You don't know what to say.