Phil stood in front of the fridge and tried to decide what he would have for lunch. It would be easier to decide if he knew that Dan was going to eat too, so he could just use the leftovers of the pizza he had yesterday evening.
But Dan said he had already eaten before so he wasn't hungry. Even for pizza? I guess not.
Whatever, Phil thought and just grabbed a few slices of the pepperoni pizza and heated them up in the microwave. Once they were ready he tucked in and watched the X-Factor UK at the same time.
Dan came from his room, saying he was done editing his video finally and flopped onto the sofa and began watching the show with Phil.
They commented on the auditions and the professional singers' expressions as they had to listen to the others. Most of it was just horrible. But there were some extraordinary good singers that they praised.
"Hey Dan, will you come with me and Chris to the pub tonight?" Phil remembered to ask as he finished with his meal. Dan was sipping on some ice water and stopped it abruptly from his question. Should he go? What if the temptations would be too great and he wouldn't be able to control himself? He knew that the drinks got a lot of calories in them, he would be only drinking water if he did go.
"Um... I guess I can", Dan mumbled in response and started fiddling with the hem of his black shirt. He had been, so to say, sober from food only for two days now. Having eaten nothing, his stomach was growling at him and made him have terrible hunger pains. But it would be nothing for what was about to come, because he had decided to fast for the next weeks too if possible.
"Nice", Phil said lamely. He was a bit confused about why had Dan sounded so unsure and kind of afraid, when he had answered. Was Dan alright or wasn't he just sure if he had any other plans for tonight? He didn't want Dan to cancel anything because of this, but he wanted him to come too.
"Well, I better go now. I'm going for a run now if tonight's going to be all about partying", Dan announced suddenly and stood up from the sofa. Phil rose his eyebrows at him, wondering what had got into Dan? His behaviour had changed from basically being a couch potato to a sporting maniac.
He was proud of him for trying to be more active, not like Phil himself did a lot of exercise or had an extremely healthy diet, but still. He wanted Dan to be healthy and happy. He knew that Dan wasn't very fond of his body, although there was nothing wrong with it. Maybe he was just trying to get more fit?
Phil sighed after Dan had left the flat for his exercise routine. He had seen him go for a run this morning and yesterday's too. The sport bug had definitely bitten Dan.
Phil just hoped Dan wasn't going to exhaust himself completely from exercising too much. He didn't want him to harm himself.
Phil sat on the sofa and turned off the television. He began thinking. Just thinking in peace after a long time just flowing with the masses of things to do and make. Taking a little time to concentrate on himself rather than the hecticness of his newfound life in the radio show he had with Dan.
He thought about Dan. About his feelings towards Dan. How he had changed after he had met Dan. How he was falling in love with Dan.
These days, Dan wasn't giving him much of his time, he spent more and more time alone in his room. Or who knew if he did have someone with him there without Phil knowing. Phil was slightly afraid that Dan had got tired of him and that's why he didn't spend so much time with him as he had before. Could be he is wrong, could be he is right.
He sighed again. He will never know if he won't ask. He knows he can't go on much longer not telling Dan how he feels. Every time his close to him, he just wants to touch and kiss him. To hold him close and show his adoration to him. Make Dan love himself too, because Phil knew, he could feel the hatred directed towards himself that showed from Dan sometimes. He would cringe and start to tremble, and making himself curl into himself and holding a pillow to his chest.
One time Phil had found Dan sitting in the lounge with a pair of scissors in his hand and nothing else. Dan had seen him then, looking scared and surprised and then had put the scissors away quickly. If that wasn't suspicious then he didn't know what was.
After three hours of Phil just wasting time in front of the tv and Dan running, showering and getting ready, they left to meet Chris at a nearby, homey pub.
The lads sat down around a wooden, rounded table and ordered some drinks from a waitress.
"What do you want, Dan?" Chris asked Dan who was looking down at his feet, deep in thought.
"Oh, um, just water, please", Dan said with a small smile and then casted his eyes to the table and began tracing the little cracks in it with his finger.
Phil and Chris looked at each other slightly dumbfounded. Dan was going to order water at the pub? Nothing else?
"What? Are you going to become completely sober or something?" Chris asked with laugh, but ordered the water anyway and two pints of beer for him and Phil.
"No, I'm just not in the mood for any alcohol and getting drunk", he answered lightly giving a little laugh.
"Yeah, yeah. You're just trying to behave yourself for the AA-meetings and brag how you hadn't had a drop this week", Phil joked. Dan tried to fit in and joked back and laughed like the others.
The evening went quite nicely actually. They had lighthearted discussion which got funnier as Phil and Chris drank more while Dan could just watch from aside at it and laugh.
"How about some take-out, hum? I'm starving", Chris pointed out as the time went by and it was already ten pm.
"Me too. Does chinese sound good? There a good restaurant close by", Phil suggested and drank the last drops of beer in his glass.
"Let's go then."
"Um, I think I'm going to hit the bed already, it's a bit late and I'm really tired", Dan said when they got up and put on their jackets.
"What? But aren't you hungry? I know I am and I ate lunch unlike you", Phil noted, sounding worried and surprised.
"I did eat lunch and I'm going to eat something when I get home too. I'd love to stay, really, but I'm just really tired." He was. He felt like he was going to pass-out at any given moment. He should get home now, fast, but he wasn't going to eat. No way. He was starving, but that was normal. That's how it was supposed to be. Hunger meant that he had done something right at least.
"Okay, well we're gonna go now. See you later", Phil said and with a wave of his hand, Dan left the pub and went home.
With an empty stomach and a mind at ease, Dan let himself fall asleep under the soft, warm covers of his bed, hoping that tomorrow he would be as successful as he had been today.