Nick looked up as the doctor came into the room. He saw the sad look on his face and knew that the worst had happened, but nothing prepared him for the words that came out of the doctors mouth.

"I'm sorry Mister Stokes. Your wife lost too much blood. There wasn't anything we could do."

"Can I talk to her?"

The doctor shook his head and said, "I'm afraid you don't understand. Your wife passed away a few minutes ago. The shock to her system was just too much. The blood loss was..."

Nick felt the blackness close in around him. He didn't hear another word that the doctor uttered. The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hospital bed. He looked towards the door and was shocked to see Catherine sitting there. She was in a wheelchair and had a concerned look on her face.

He smiled and whispered, "Are you okay Cath?"

Catherine smiled. It was so like Nicky to worry about her first. She nodded and said, "Are you okay?"

"I am now. I had the most terrible dream. I..."

Catherine smiled and said, "Tell me about it later. I need to get back to bed."

Nick smiled and closed his eyes....

Okay, parts of the story are going to fill in some of the blanks. Blanks that might not be important, but I think it's interesting to tell.

Catherine and Nick have decided that they are going to keep journals. The first one is Catherine's first journal entry. Nick's will follow soon. It's all about their thoughts and feelings.

I hope it makes sense and that you like it.....

Catherine's POV

Okay, so I told your daddy that I was going to start keeping a diary. I never thought he would actually agree to keep one too. Although, once you know him, you'll realize what kind of a man your daddy is. He is the man of my dreams. Anyway, he laughed when I first suggested that we should do this. I think I scared him a little. Because he kind of got this look on his face that was hard to read. I wasn't really mad, just surprised that he was willing to do it and I guess my surprise looked different to him than it was supposed to.

Anyway, I told Nicky that we should write about what our feelings are and what's happening. I guess the beginning is the best place to start. Let's see. I first suspected that I was carrying you when your daddy and I got married. I'd been feeling sick all day, but part of me thought that it was something I ate.

Soon afterwards though, I began to suspect that it was much more than food poisoning. So, about three weeks after you daddy and I got married, I decided to do a pregnancy test. It came back positive. I didn't tell your daddy at first though. I didn't want to get him excited if it turned out to be wrong. So, I made an appointment to see my doctor.

A few hours later, I walked out of the office stunned. I was most definitely pregnant. I wasn't upset, just worried. I wasn't sure how your dad was going to react. In all the time that we'd been dating, we'd never talked about having children. Oh, I knew that he'd be excited about you. He loves your sister. Has for a long time.

So, I told him that we were going out for dinner. We had a wonderful steak dinner and hurried home soon after. We were sitting on the couch and I looked at him nervously, smiled and told him, "I'm pregnant."

He looked at me. I swallowed hard and said nothing. Finally a big smile broke out on his face. He kissed me and put his hand on my stomach. I smiled and told him that you were going to be born around Christmas. Always the gentleman, he asked me if I was happy about you. I smiled and told him that I was very happy. He kissed me softly and I actually giggled.

Although, not everything was okay that night. I was still extremely sick. I curled up on the couch and stayed there all night. That's where your dad found me hours later. When he got home, he asked me if I wanted to go out, but I couldn't get the strength to get out of bed. So, he carried me to our bedroom and got me a glass of water and some crackers.

Later that night, I walked into the bathroom. There was so much blood that I knew immediately that something was wrong. Very, terribly wrong!! I called out to your dad and he came running. He took one look at me and knew what he had to do. He took me to the hospital. I don't remember much about the ride there. I know that your dad held my hand the whole way there. I cried silently the whole way there. I don't think Nicky knew about that. I didn't want to worry him any more than he already was.

Well, he carried me into the hospital and then the doctor's took over. I was very much awake as the doctor's checked me over. I knew it was bad and cried when I heard the words "Possible miscarriage." I knew then, that if we got out of this, I would do whatever the doctor's told me. It seemed like forever before they were finally able to stop the bleeding. God, I was so scared over those next few hours.

Finally the doctor came to talk to me. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I'm not going to lie to you Catherine. There is still a great chance that you could loose this baby. It's up to you now to make sure that doesn't happen."

I remember looking at him and saying, "Whatever it takes."

He nodded and said, "Complete bed rest for the next 4 weeks. The only time I want you out of bed is to use the bathroom."

I nodded and agreed with everything he told me. Then he told me that your dad collapsed and was hospitalized. I shook my head, not able to believe what they were telling me about your dad. It wasn't possible. Your dad is one of the strongest men I've ever known. But, given his love for me, I'm not surprised. It had to be quite the shock for your dad.

They did allow me to sit by his bedside for awhile. Finally after a few hours he opened his eyes. He had a bad dream and mumbled something about me being dead.

That's when I told him about the baby and what the doctor said. He nodded and said nothing. I smiled, but before we could talk anymore the doctor took me back to my room.

I tell you, I love your father, but he is annoying when he is trying to be helpful. He was like a mother hen. Standing over me all the time. Giving me thing, before I even asked for them. Finally I'd had enough and told him so. He tried to argue with me. I told him again that he was driving me crazy! Finally he agreed to be there. Just not so much. I laughed and he got into bed beside me and we both read until we fell asleep....