A few hours passed as I followed the Phantom, I could tell it was close to dinner because my stomach was rumbling again but I slowly blocked the hunger out. The wild mustang seemed to be having a deep conversation with Ace because they were nickering and whinnying to each other. It was interesting as the horses interacted. I knew Ace use to belong to the Phantom's herd but their friendship ran deeper than any horse relationship I had ever seen. While the two talked I did a body once over.
I had lost a lot of weight, my hip bones pushed against the belt I was wearing to keep my jeans up. My butt filled out a pair of jeans nicely; I felt boy's eyes on it as I walked through the school hallways and I heard their hushed whispers.
My hair had turned a dark brown, the red slowly fading away. I felt my cheeks, they were more pronounced. I felt along my jaw and felt the little bumps; I was going through the pimple stage of my life. They were red and deep; making them bad to pop. Once everyone had gone to bed I would sneak downstairs and put magnesium gel on them to draw out the puss that was in them but for some reason they kept reappearing the next morning. I washed my face every morning and night with an apricot scrub to keep the dirt to a minimum; nothing worked! Minus the fact that I had lost a lot of weight and my body was smaller, I had more muscle than I ever had from the hard work I had put into the ranch. My hands were calloused and my biceps were well defined.
I had learned of eyeliner and used it; I always had it on thickly so I appeared to be like Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I learned to blank my face and eyes out quite skillfully and learned how to cut my replies down to a few words. I guess in a way I was turning into Jake. He was always shy and shrugged a lot. He also rubbed the back of his neck if he was uncomfortable with something.
My stomach was flat and toned; I heard Rachael Slocum whisper to Daisy in the PE change rooms that she wanted my well toned body. I thought to myself Have your father be a bastard and your step mom be a bitch to you 24/7 and your best friend run away. Put a hard effort into the ranch, get calluses on your hands and tanned skin from working in the sun. Lets see what you can do without a perfect manicure for more than a few minutes. That's when you will get the body I have. You don't eat for most of the day and you talk very little to anyone. Be a true cowboy.
I kept running over the changes my body had undertaken when the two horses pulled to a halt. I looked around casually and smiled; the sunset was amazing. We were standing on top of a hill that showed the playa clearly before us. It was rare these days that I truly smiled; it was rare I showed any emotion at all. I never laugh nor do I ever even show a smirk; I had changed from the girl who first arrived home from San Francisco.
While I was over there, I had convinced my Aunt to allow me to keep riding. I competed in western competitions and took care of a stable of horses. We didn't end up telling my dad because he would've blown a gasket. Yet again. I became one of the best riders in the entire city; I was like a mini star in the horse world. I stayed 4 years in San Francisco and in a way, I was glad because I over came many things, for example, finding out who I was as a teenage girl and my accident. I reminded myself that Jake made no mistake and it was Blackie who got scared by the gate. It was an accident and no one was at fault.
In the western competitions I rode in, I was skilled at roping and chasing the cows. Cutting them from the herd and chasing them to go through a selection of flags. I was also pretty skilled at barrel racing and a few other events that are involved in the sport. I faked having a sore bum on roundup otherwise my father would've gotten suspicious. Bryanna didn't help matters either.
The two horses started moving forward again, I looked at the Phantom; he seemed to nod his head saying 'yes'. While holding Ace's reins in one hand I moved from the saddle over to the Wild Horse's back. It seemed as if I belonged there, like I was meant to ride him. I felt his incredible body move swiftly beneath me; his muscles clenching and unclenching as he walked. I was completely in awe of this horse. He grew up from the gangly colt I remembered him as.
I couldn't help but compare him to the horse I use to ride in San Fran. Diablo was a Mustang cross Thoroughbred he was completely ebony black. With his Mustang breeding, he was excellent with cattle and such. I use to ride him bareback all the time in the lessons I was given and it gave me a better seat and connection with my horse. We became really close and we had a deep bond something similar to the one I have with the Phantom.
I felt a breeze rush past me and my hair lifted off my shoulders. It felt good after the heat of the day and the sweat on my back felt icky. I brushed the feeling off and let my fingers trail through the stallion's silken mane. It was getting darker and cooler. I felt my emotions go with the breeze, something was different and something was going to change; I could feel it. While I held Ace's reins in one hand and the Phantom's main in the other I looked up at the sky; the first glimpses of the stars appearing.
Sam started to sing the song she was writing; it matched many things in her life but for some reason I couldn't finish it; I had song writers block.
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
she felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
I felt the tears appear in my eyes, I let them fall. I had been holding onto them for so long. The day I heard that Jake had vanished appeared before my eyes.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Bryan and Nate galloped across the bridge, their horses dripping sweat; they were breathing hard. Hijacker, Bryan's colt gave a loud neigh, signaling that they were there.
"WYATT? BRYANNA? SAM? ANYBODY HERE?" The twins shouted in unison, looking around the yard. I looked up from the 10 Acre pasture, I was mending a row of wooden posts; I was digging holes. I saw the frantic look on their faces and whistled for Ace to come over. He separated from the herd and cantered up towards me. In one swift swing, I was on his back and urging him to where the boys were. I was skilled in riding without reins or bridle thanks to my lessons back in San Fran.
"Bryan! Nate! Over here." I called, cantering towards them. The pair walked forward to take a hold on Ace's halter.
"Have you seen Jake? He has disappeared over night. No one and find him or find any tracks. His done a runner and no one knows why." I felt as if I had been hit with a sledge hammer. I had deep feelings for Jake and was hoping he would come over today to train the filly that was in the circular corral.
"No, I haven't. Sorry boys." I shuttered my eyes and facial features.
"Give me a few minutes and I'll help you look for him." I urged Ace towards the barn and dismounted before he stopped. I rushed into the tack room and found that one of the halters was missing. Without thinking I ran back out with Ace's tack and first aid kit. By now my father and everyone was talking with the brothers. I grabbed a pair of gloves from my saddle bags and pulled them on. I rushed back into the tack room and picked up a rope and my slicker. I rushed back out and attached them to my saddle.
"Samantha, you don't need that rope. You don't even know how to use it!" My father walked up behind me and started to remove it.
"Don't touch it." I sneered, grabbing it from his hands. I stood back and twirled it around my head skillfully as if I was going to rope something. I aimed for the post and threw it forward. The loop settled on the post and I pulled it tight.
"I can rope and I can do it while at a flat out gallop. I'm as good as Jake." I reattached it and grabbed the food and drink Gram held so I could pack it into my saddle bags.
"I was riding and such while in San Fran. Why do you think I can ride a horse without a saddle or bridle yet still remain under control. Why can I cut a cow from the herd when you are not looking and rope it for Jake to tag and such? I knew you saw me do it a few times while on round up. The fact that Bryanna downgraded me for it didn't help you either. My best friend is missing and you would do well to stand back and let me look for him." I finished, turning to a pregnant Bryanna and my shocked father.
"You are to never talk to your father that way young lady." I heard Bryanna whisper angrily and slapped me across the face. The sound rang around the yard, I turned to face the woman and my father. My father's face was passive and Bryanna had a smirk of achievement upon her face.
"You want a beloved child that will obey your every command your highness?" I mocked bowed and placed my black hat back on my head.
"Try with the kid you're having now. Maybe it won't have the Forster stubbornness and you can bend it around your finger." I said as I mounted my horse.
"Treat me like crap and I will do the same. I don't care if you're pregnant, I don't care if you loose the bastard." I whispered venomously. If anyone who knew me well like the Ely brothers, they would've backed down and turned away. I was close to showing them what the Ely punch was like.
I pressed my legs in a pattern against Ace's side. He instantly snapped at anyone who got close to me or him. It was a trick I wanted to teach him, he obeyed me. Protected me like Witch did to Jake. Bryanna tried to get close but my fathered pulled her away.
"Go look for Jake but once you get back here, you are grounded from everything except ranch work and going to school. You are to never talk to Bryanna like that again. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" My father whispered softly, I gulped. I was in deep trouble and I knew it by the tone of his voice.
I backed Ace up so I was at a safe distance from him, the brother's rode their horses beside Ace. He pranced beneath me, I held him steady but he showed off like a true performance horse.
"You've changed because of her. You changed from the caring man I knew you to be to a heartfelt bastard. Since you kicked me out of your house you changed and took her in. I know you miss mom, I know you feel that pain because I share it too. I hate Bryanna because she has turned you against me. You use to love me for my independence; my courage. YOU use to laugh with me at my corny jokes. You use to sit with me in my room and draw horses with me. You use to help me with my maths because I just couldn't get it without a little bit of help. You use to help me and now you sit there and do nothing." Sam wheeled Ace around once more and faced him square in the eyes.
"You are not my father. You use to be him, now you have changed to something else. I never want to speak to you or have anything to do with you. As I see it I am a ranch hand that follows orders and goes to school. I will be moving to the bunk house as soon as I get back in." With a curt nod I left the ranch yard, the Ely brothers trailing behind me.
---
The trio searched high and low for the missing brother but they found none. As they pulled into the Three Ponies, Sam sighed as she saw Luke trying to catch Witch who was refusing to do anything; by the looks of it Witch had gotten out of her stable.
Sam let out a high pitched whistle, something similar as to what Jake used and Witch came straight to her. Sam shuttered her face before anyone saw the happiness there.
"Sam, you know she is pregnant but do you think you will be able to pony her over to River Bend? She won't let anyone near enough to help her if she goes into labor and by the looks of it she trusts you." Luke handed a shocked Sam a lead rope. Witch trotted over to Sam and put her head in her lap.
Sam looked at the mare and thought If its for Jake then I spose it will be ok to look after her.
Sam nodded at Luke who thanked her and went to stand beside his wife.
Maxine took note of the way Sam looked. She could tell Sam was distraught even though her face and eyes were shuttered.
Sam clipped the lead rope on and turned towards River Bend.
"I'll take care of her till Jake returns Mr and Mrs Ely." Was all Sam said as she left the yard.
---
Sam arrived on the ranch with Witch; everyone stood stock still like a deer caught in headlights. Sam took note and looked towards the foaling paddock and stable. It wasn't in use so she dismounted and tied both horses to the hitching rail. She ducked into the barn and prepared the stall for the mare, Sam came out to find her father trying to get close to the mare.
"Get away from her!" Sam screeched, running up to Witch.
"That mare doesn't belong here! She is a monster that only Jake can control. She should be at the Three Ponies." He said angrily, taking another step towards the angered mare. Witch snapped out at him, her ears laid back.
"I promised the Ely's that I would take care of her till Jake returned. I'll work for her board." Sam walked straight up to Witch and placed a hand on her neck; calming her slightly.
"If you cause her to go into early labor because of the stress you are inflicting upon her; it will be the last thing you do." Sam grabbed Witch's lead rope and Ace's reins; walking into the barn.
After making sure Witch was settled and Ace was taken care of, Sam walked up to her room with many cardboard boxes in hand. She walked passed Bryanna who was smirking and rubbing her belly, while Gram was in the kitchen preparing the evening meal.
Sam had done many trips to and from the bunkhouse with her stuff; organizing it the way she wanted it before she returned to the room. Sam stripped her entire bedroom before she went and attacked her bathroom. Sam was walking down the stairs when she heard her Gram talking to her father.
"Don't you think it's a bit hard on Sam to come back to her home with a new step mom and a little sibling on the way?" Her Gram's soft voice came from the kitchen.
"She can learn to accept it in her own time but in the mean time she will not talk to my wife that way nor will she disrespect me. I deserve respect as her father and if it means grounding her to get it through her thick head then that is what I'll do." He replied, sneering slightly.
Sam heard something like a hand coming over the back of someone's head.
"Wyatt Joshua Forster, I will not be spoken to that way. I am your mother and I deserve respect. She is my granddaughter Wyatt; I will not sit on the sidelines and watch you treat her like scum when your wife cannot stand up for herself." Gram huffed.
"Also, I am against the fact that your wife can freely slap Sam across the face when ever she so pleases."
"Bryanna knows teenage girls more than I do, I trust her judgment." Her father replied, pulling a seat out to sit on.
"Did Bryanna raise Sam like we did? Does she really know Sam? Bryanna thinks Sam is sleeping with every Ely brother because they hug her a lot and toss her around like a play thing. You and I both know what the Ely's are like because you went to school with Luke. We helped raise those boys as much as Maxine and Luke have raised Sam. They are like brothers to her. Don't you even think of interrupting me young man." Sam visualized her Gram holding up her hand to silence him; Sam smirked.
"I will not watch Sam turn into dust. I care about her too much. You of all people will know of her stubbornness, it's a family trait. Sam will make this go on as long as she wants it to." Sam heard her Gram take a deep breath.
"I can predict that Sam is going to not talk to you, me or the Ely's for a very long time. I can predict that while she is living in the bunkhouse she will become thin and over exhausted from the effort she puts into this ranch. Sam took on the burden of caring for Witch because she knows deep inside she will be the only one Witch accepts near her foals. Sam is more special than you think. Think about it Wyatt, her change in behavior is because of your new pregnant wife; not because Jake has suddenly vanished." Sam heard Gram coming towards the stairs. Sam couldn't move; she was frozen to the spot.
Gram's eyes fell on Sam who was sitting at the top of the stairs.
"Samantha…" Sam stood so suddenly one would've thought she would have tripped and fallen down the stairs. She rushed down them and past her Gram; passing her puzzled father and out into the cold Nevadan air.
She rushed to the bunk house and deposited her stuff; falling onto the bed in a sobbing heap.
---
For the next month, Sam worked, went to school, took care of Witch and continued learning how to play the guitar. It was late one night after everyone had gone to bed when she heard distressed neighs coming from the barn. Curiously, Sam pulled on a pair of old jeans, her hoodie and her boots. She walked out into the cool air when she saw Dallas sitting on the wicker couch in between their rooms.
"The mare has gone into labor. She will be needing help since she is expecting twins." Dallas continued to look out into the ranch yard; Sam looked up at the main house to find all the lights were still off.
"Twins? Can you be sure?" Sam sat down next to the old cowboy and looked out into the ranch yard as well.
"I wonder what Jake would do if he was here. I can't help these foals." Sam suddenly felt small and insecure.
"I wouldn't let you do it alone little missy. Go into the barn and collect the foaling blankets and such for the birth. I'll go keep an eye on her; come to the stall when you have gotten those items." Dallas glanced at Sam before standing and walking out into the night.
Sam stood and stretched, she felt her back crack before she moved.
"Twins? Why twins? Couldn't you have just one foal?" Sam grumbled as she went into the barn to collect the items Dallas had requested.
As Sam came to the foaling stall with the supplies, she was shocked to find Dallas inside with Witch.
"Easy girl, easy. Come on take it slow." She heard his softened voice come from inside.
Witch heaved and grunted, trying to get comfortable. Dallas was rubbing her sides with some type of oil.
"It's something your mum used on mares that were giving birth. It's lavender oil. It soothes the mare enough to help with the contractions and less stress." Dallas continued to rub the oil over Witch's coat.
Sam opened the stall door and went in.
"I wish Jake was here to be with her." Sam whispered softly as she rubbed the mare's forehead.
"It was his choice to leave. I think he needed to confront a few things in his soul before he could come forward. Luke did it when he was about Jake's age so I assume it was something along those lines." Dallas said softly; his eyes on Sam.
"I know it was his choice, why didn't he say anything to me? That is what has gotten me upset." Sam whispered back, trying to hold back the tears.
"He will come back when he thinks the time is right Samantha, trust me." Sam felt a hand on her shoulder; she turned her head to see her father standing there. She jumped back slightly in shock.
Tears formed in her eyes; her father pulled her into his arms. Dallas stepped out of the stall and down to the tack room to put away the lavender oil; giving them privacy.
"Please forgive me Samantha." Was all he said.
In response, Sam wrapped her arms around her father's waist and sobbed.
Witch gave a loud shriek, making Wyatt and Sam jump apart.
Their eyes glanced over the mare's rump to see a little black head with a white star coming out.
Sam winced ever so slightly.
"I feel sorry for her, carrying twins for how many months must hurt." Sam grabbed her stomach and bent over slightly, feeling a slight twinge of sympathy for the mare.
"One day you will have to carry a kid for 9 months." Wyatt said as he moved around to the mare's backside to aid in the birth of the foal.
"Alert the media, this was the day Witch actually let people near her without snapping or kicking out." Wyatt chuckled to himself.
"I think the only reason that is happening because she is trying to squeeze out two fat little elephants that she was carrying around for how many months and she is too preoccupied by contractions to bite you." Sam snickered; happy she and her father were on talking terms.
A few hours later, two little foals were struggling in the hay for a feed.
Sam was covered in the stuff the foals were delivered in but she was happy.
One was a boy and the other was a girl. The boy was the oldest and had a white star on his forehead and two socks on his hind legs.
The other foal was a little girl; she was the youngest by about an hour or so. She was all black, like her mom.
Sam smiled as she fed the little girl while her father fed the little boy.
"Did you record the times Dallas?" Sam asked as she rubbed the filly's neck softly.
"Yup. The little colt came at 2:00am and the little filly was born at 3:00am on November 1st 2008, names are still unknown."
Sam smiled. A little while after everything was cleaned up, the foals were sleeping comfortably and Witch was groomed and clean, Sam left to retire to her bed.
She looked at the music sheets she was writing on before the foals were born, she had a sudden inspiration. Sam pulled the guitar onto her lap and her music sheets. She wrote the lyrics on a piece of paper before she started to strum the guitar.
Open your eyes, open your eyes.
And look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, you've been rejected and now you cant
Find what you've left behind
Be strong be strong now to many too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
The feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's loosing her mind, she's fallen behind
She can't find her place, she's loosing her faith
She's fallen from grace, shes all over the place, place, place, place
Sam looked up when she heard a creak in her door. Dallas was standing there leaning against the doorframe. Sam kept playing.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost in side, lost inside
oh oh ohhhhhhh
She's lost in side, lost inside
oh oh ohhhhhhh
With the final strum of the guitar, Dallas' eyes twinkled for some reason Sam couldn't place but it was an encouraging twinkle.
---
For the next month, Sam slept in the foal's stall when she couldn't find peace in her own bed. She had nightmares of Jake vanishing over cliffs, getting hit by trucks etc, she found that Witch was like her protector from her nightmares. The foals didn't seem to mind to have an extra pillow in the stable either, Sam normally woke to find two little heads on either her stomach or her legs. Sam also woke at dawn when Witch nuzzled her to wake her for the day. Sam was interested in the mare's behavior; she wasn't only the protector of her nightmares but from her angry father too. When Sam woke, it was just enough time to put her sleeping bag away and do her morning chores before her father came down to yell at her to get up.
---
As it got darker, I was glad I was riding the Phantom instead of Ace; the poor thing kept tripping in the dark. I remembered I kept a few muesli bars in my saddle bags incase something happened. I tried something I had never done before, I asked the stallion with my legs to fall back beside Ace.
Surprisingly he did as I asked, I felt in control when I noticed that there was more than muesli bars in my bags. There was 3 sandwitches, a bottle of water, lollies and a carrot. I smirked lightly and checked the other. There was Surprisingly he did as I asked, I felt in control when I noticed that there was more than muesli bars in my bags. There was 3 sandwitches, a bottle of water, lollies and a carrot. I smirked lightly and checked the other. There was a flash light, matches a spare lead rope. Dad mustve known I would've done something like this and packed my bags for me, well, that's what I thought.
The Phantom came upon a cave on the trail we were on going through the mountains. I dismounted form his back and turned to untack Ace.
"How did you find this place?" Came a voice from within the shadows of the cave.