The Power of PowerPoints

Ketti:Gasp! An update! It's a miracle! Though I don't think Seras will thank me for this one. As soon as I think up enough points, I'll put Integra's up in the next day or so. ;D

Alucard's PowerPoint

"Get up," Alucard's voice boomed in her head, seeming to echo in her coffin as she groggily opened her eyes, staring at his blurry face uncomprehendingly. He grunted and reached into the box to drag her out, pulling her out the door a moment later, leading the half asleep fledgling through the halls at a merciless pace, she needed to take three steps for each of his long legged strides.

"Master," Seras whined as he pulled her up the stairs, feet tangling with themselves, she nearly tripped, "It's too early, what do you want?"

I took your advice, Police Girl," he purred, grin maniacal, "and made my own power point, I want you to see it."

Seras' brain was too mushy to comprehend his words at first, and it was only when he tossed her onto the couch and threw a blood bag at her face that she woke up a little. Grimacing at the plastic, she tried to push it away, but a gloved hand grasped her chin cruelly as the other hand pressed the packet to her lips. She shrieked and kicked at his legs to no avail, he ignored her pitiful flailing as a black claw slid from the material of his glove, the talon pricking a hole in the thin film so that blood started to trickle into her opened mouth. She tried to close it, but the hand on her jaw tightened, fingers digging in painfully between her teeth to prevent her from wasting the crimson liquid. She gagged, but he forced her chin up until she swallowed. Sputtering, she clawed at his arm viciously, trying to free herself from his grasp. It didn't work. He only released her when half of the contents were forced down her throat, and she glared at him with the threat of tears in her crimson eyes. He smirked at her nastily as he poured the remaining blood down his own greedy gullet, "Feeling more awake, Police Girl?"

Seras bared her teeth in a snarl, and looked away from him in frustration, "How did you even make a power point?"

"Oh, I had Walter make it for me," he grinned at her back, showing his sharp teeth, "he was quite accommodating after I threatened to keep him up all night with Baskerville howling outside his window."

The blonde snorted at the mental image, knowing that he would do it, too, and sighed as she turned her head to look at the blank screen. "Well?"

There was a muffled click and then the projector whirred to life as the first slide appeared on the screen.

'Vampire Conduct 101

Fledgling Dos and Don'ts'

Seras scoffed a bit, crossing her arms over her chest as she settled deeper into the couch.

~Don't- be a whiny bitch. No one likes you when you do that.

Seras shrieked and threw the nearest pillow at her Sire, who caught it easily and returned fire with twice the force. She grunted as it knocked the breath out of her. "And don't scream like a banshee all the time, it's annoying."

~Do- drink your blood. Forcing it down your gullet is fun, but time consuming.

"I wasn't hungry." Seras muttered huffily, turning her head away. Her stomach churned in disagreement and a flush of embarrassment lit her cheeks. Her Sire's mocking laughter informed her that he knew she was lying. She heard the click and looked back at the screen resignedly.

~Don't- sit in my chair. The floor is fine for starving fledglings.

"You weren't using it," she muttered defiantly, "and it was comfortable."

In retaliation for this, her Master knocked her off the couch and pinned her to the floor under his boot as she flailed and screeched. He ground his boot heel into her spine until she quieted and he chuckled blackly as he sat on the cushions, pulling her up to sit against the couch, legs thrown over her shoulders and pinning her in place. "You see what disobeying gets you, fledgling?"

Seras plucked at his pantlegs futilely for a moment before giving in and groaning, "You're so mean, Master."

~Don't- steal my hat. My clothes are not your clothes, and never will be.

Embarrassed, she flushed and looked down at her feet, "that's a stupid grudge to hold…"

There was a pressure on her ribs as he squeezed his legs, and she squeaked, trying to pry his knees apart, "That hurts, Master!"

He ignored her and tugged her head back by a fistful of blonde locks.

~Don't- complain when I throw you down the stairs, If you moved faster I wouldn't have to.

Seras stared, gobsmacked. "What? WHAT?!"

He twisted the handful and she shrieked, "Stop that!" Reaching behind herself, she swatted at his hands, and he released her after a moment, for which she was grateful. "It's not my fault your legs are so much bloody longer than mine, Master!"

He mocked her with a high falsetto that was truly disturbing to listen to coming from him, "It's not my fault you're so short. You're a vampire, Police Girl, you can move faster now if you even pretend to try."

~Don't- stick your neck out to defend subpar humans. It'll either be broken or bitten, and you won't like it.

"Do you see the pattern here, Police Girl? I have more don'ts than dos, because you DO all of these."

Seras tipped her head back to lever a glare at her Sire's chin, "That's not fair!"

He peered over his glasses at her, and sneered, "Life rarely is, fledgling."

~Do- practice your powers more. Getting stuck in the wall is funny only so long before it becomes embarrassing for my fledgling to be so inept.

"I'm so terribly sorry to tarnish your good name, Master!" Seras spat, furious and humiliated, it wasn't her fault that the Geese were even more encouraged to try tackling her in the halls; how could she know the power point would only make it worse?! So more often than not, she ended up halfway through the wall, and the men would take turns smacking her bum because she couldn't stop them.

"You should be," he growled back, "it's a rare honor to be my fledgling, Police Girl, and you continue to disappoint me."

Stung, she looked away, shoulders hunching. "You're so mean, Master."

He grunted and pulled her head back to face him, "I never claimed to be otherwise, Police Girl. Are you trying to be something you're not?"

She avoided his gaze, gnawing on her lower lip until she tasted blood. Startled, she laved the small wound with her tongue, having learned through painful experience that vampire saliva had a healing agent in it that numbed pain and staunched bloodflow better than a tourniquet.

~Do- instill fear into your prey- just do it the right way, not te wrong way.

"And what's the right way?" Seras huffed, "Getting blown to smithereens to give them a false sense of security?" He chortled mockingly before yanking her head back painfully and bending over to lick her throat, his teeth grazing her skin and making the grl shiver. "Something like that," he purred, "remind me to teach you… a little later."

She gave a strangled moan-yelp as he nipped her and squirmed uncomfortably, "Master…"

~Do- learn how to hunt like a proper vampire, bagged blood is all very well and good, but you can't break into a hospital if you're on a long term mission and run out of supplies.

"But I do kn-mmmng…" Seras melted back against his hold, lids fluttering shut as her Sire's teeth pierced her neck, system flooded with the ecstasy that comes from a vampire bite – well, when they want it to feel nice, she'd pissed her Master off once and he'd taught her the pain of having her blood drawn too quickly through two small holes in her throat. She'd been a crying mess and could barely move for the next three days without cringing!

'This is just an excuse to bite me, isn't it?'She thought at him hazily, unaware of the little whimpers and mewls she voiced as he pulled her up from the floor and into his lap, all without ever letting his teeth leave her throat.

She heard his ghostly laughter echoing in her head as he clicked to the final slide on his powerpoint, and she stared blankly at it for a moment before comprehension hit.

~Do- try and keep quiet- good girls are seen and not heard. (No matter how much you like it when I bitte you.)

She shrieked, but a gloved hand muffled her cries, even going so far as to cover her nose, and she would have panicked about being unable to breathe had he not – painfully – drilled it into her little head that she didn't need to. Infuriated, she struggled and tried to elbow him in the ribs, but his other arm wound around her body, pinning her securely to his chest, one leg crossing up over hers to completely immobilize her. She moaned in frustration and growled at him through their bond, muttering obscenities in her thoughts.

After a long and tortuous moment, he released her with a moan of his own, breathing hotly on her neck as he lapped up the remaining blood with one swipe of his long tongue. He grinned at her as she glared at him, and ran his tongue up her throat to her jaw, and along her cheek, lingering there for a moment before swiping up her forehead. Gross! Vampire drool! Now she'd need a shower for sure.

He chuckled breathily in her ear before slowly dematerializing beneath her, "Did you learn anything from this little presentation, Police Girl?"

He was gone the next moment and she swore colorfully at the empty room before high tailing it back to her quarters where she could take a shower in peace, and as she entered her little private bathroom, she muttered to herself the answer to his question. "Only that you're an asshole, Master."