Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me in any way, shape or form. Period.

Hello and welcome to my story, I hope you enjoy it and please be kind to me! *bows deeply*

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

Anime: Durarara!

Pairing: Shizaya (sooner or later)

Days in a Life

Part Two of ?

Regret's

It had been a week since Shizuo had seen Izaya. Seven days since the two had been stuck below that overhang while the rain poured down around them. Roughly one hundred and sixty eight hours since that Flea had said those words, and he felt like he had been confused by them for a lifetime.

The blond honestly didn't know what to think or feel at the moment. Those words that Izaya spoke had been sudden; of course that damn man ran soon after, leaving Shizuo reeling in the wake. It was easy for him to just laugh it off as he made his way home down the wet streets. Izaya was just being Izaya, saying vague comments that usually only made sense to the one who spoke them. Of course the man had been fucking with him, trying to distract him for some larger plan.

But, then Celty had said the words that he had been trying to deny. What if Izaya had meant it? And if he did, was the informant saying that he liked the bodyguard? It had been easy to laugh it off when it was only his mind telling him such things, but now the courier was giving him every reason in the world why that bastard could have meant what he had said.

"Fucking parasite," The air around him was still chilly. Dark clouds were moving across the sky threatening to rain, just like a week ago today. All it did was make that moment more vivid, the conversation replaying over and over in his mind. "Where are you, you little shit?"

Of course the Flea would be avoiding him; he was probably doing it on purpose. Drop some impossibly stupid idea on him, then run away and watch him suffer as he mulled it over and over in his mind. Was it the truth? Was it a lie? This was Izaya after all, and he was who he was. The two men had despised one another from the moment they had been introduced, so why would Izaya suddenly feel more than just hatred towards him?

"So… why do you hate me?"

The frown on his face deepened as he ran a hand roughly though his blond locks, rubbing the back of his neck a moment later. Shizuo had been running those words over and over in his mind a lot as of late. And unfortunately, he still didn't have a suitable answer to the question

When he thought back to the moment he first met the man, he realized that Izaya was correct. Shizuo had told the smaller man that he hated him, even though the new comer had done nothing to cause that reaction.

Actually, that wasn't exactly true, but what he had done didn't really call for such a negative response from him.

Per normal, which seemed to be his fucked up fate, a group of people came after him for no reason. Well, they felt that they had a reason, and that was to bring Shizuo down and prove that he wasn't as powerful as everyone boasted. Part of him didn't even want to fight. It would have been easier to let them just beat the shit out of him and let it go. Maybe then people would leave him alone and he could live a semi-normal life. But the other half of him lashed out without thinking. Before he knew, it the field was now in shambles and the bodies of his attackers lay all around him.

He never asked for this… He never wanted this violence in his life, he hated violence.

The blond stood there, breathing hard as the moans echoed around him. He had won again, but at what cost? It was just temporary and soon more people would come after him trying to do the same. Those thoughts echoed in his mind when a sudden clapping disrupted the internal conflict that had become so normal for him. Turning slightly to look behind him, he found Shinta looking at him with a smile on his face, and another young man sitting beside him.

While he had seen the crimson eyed man before, this was the first time that he actually saw him up close. There was an air around the man, like he was untouchable, a fucking smart ass, or maybe it was the smug look that he had on his face. Pale hands clapped together two more times before they dropped, one arm resting on his knee, as Shinra introduced the man to Shizuo.

The blond didn't even have to listen to his friends words, he hated this man. Oh yes, he honestly hated him with a deep passion, and for no reason other than he could.

"I don't like him." The words had fallen from his lips in an instant and, even though Shinra had looked upset at first, he couldn't bring himself to apologize. He was being honest about how he had felt at that moment. It wasn't his fault that this man annoyed him just by being there, and that the brunette's smirking made him want to punch the smaller man in the face.

"Oh yeah..?" One crimson eye peered over at him. The smirk that Shizuo would come to hate grew larger as he watched him for a moment. "That's too bad. I think I could have some fun with you."

For a moment the blond wondered what this guy's fucked up idea was fun was, but then he decided that it would be better if he didn't know. Anyway, just hearing the man as he spoke annoyed him far more than a group of wannabe punks ever did. "Shut up!" It wasn't so much his voice, now that he thought back on it, but the words that came out of his lips. Anyone who could smirk like that so easily, without care for anyone else, is a person that could become very dangerous.

"Don't say that, Shizuo." Izaya's eyes narrowed as he continued to smirk. Shizuo couldn't handle it anymore; he had to stop that look… a look that saw though him and knew what he was. It whispered that he wasn't normal, that he was just a monster and that this man didn't fear him in the least. That broke him; he honestly snapped and couldn't do anything but go after the brunette with all of his strength.

But still the question lingered in his mind, why had he done that? What had Izaya done that made him hate the man the moment he saw him? He could come up with reasons now that he'd known the other for so long. Yes he was a manipulative little shit that lived off any information that he could get. He loved to fuck with the lives of his precious humans, forcing them into situations that were out of their control to just see the reactions.

It was also true that the man would sometimes speak in circles, saying the same thing over and over in different ways until you felt you were going to lose it. He was a shady little punk, who could make others feel inferior in a heartbeat with his supposed superior knowledge. Hell, at times Shizuo actually wondered if Izaya was as intelligent as he claimed to be, or if he was just the fucking grand master when it came to manipulative bull shitting.

That entirely aside, the point was that Izaya had been right all along. Shizuo had thrown the first punch in this, and he had been the one to say that he hated Izaya for no reason. Did that mean that their current relationship was his doing? No, the first day… regardless of who had started it, they had both honesty tried to kill one another. His hate needed no justification at the time; his emotions had been enough for him.

"So… why do you hate me?"

Growling lightly, he leaned against the railing that ran across the bridge as he buried his face into his arms. Why had Izaya said that in the first place? Weren't things fine the way they were, the way they had always been? Why did he want to change was what familiar, normal? Wasn't this a good place for both of them to be?

"You know what Socrates said, Shizu-chan, 'from the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate'. But with you, it's more like picking on someone in kindergarten that interests you."

He was so confused by this, and he knew the only person who could honestly clear up this mess was that damn louse. He needed to know the meaning behind those words; did that crimson eyed informant actually mean them? He knew what his mind had told him, what his heart had told him… and even Celty had confirmed his fucked up idea. But without the brunette actually speaking to him there could be no final answer, he needed Izaya. For once he needed that fucking shit to come to Ikebukuro so he could fix the mess his mind had created and find some type of closure.

Of course, now that he actually wanted the informant, he was absolutely nowhere to be found.

A few days ago he had even considered going to that damn Flea's apartment, but then he would have been in his territory and somehow the idea of that had felt wrong to him. His life was in Ikebukuro and that was where he needed to be. Anyway, with as much as Shizuo bitched about that parasite coming to his city, he would be a hypocrite to intrude on Izaya's.

Besides, this was Izaya, and he always showed up sooner or later. It was the waiting that was killing Shizuo. Even if the man did show up in Ikebukuro, the blond didn't know if the man would tell him what he meant. For all he knew, Izaya would just keep fucking with him and he would never have the answers he was seeking. This was just too much for him to process; fuck… he just needed help.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder then, bringing him out of his thoughts as he turned to see the Dullahan standing behind him. 「Are you ok, Shizuo? 」

She typed, holding up the small PDA for golden eyes to see.

"Honestly," He whispered, seeing the yellow and blue helmet nod slightly. "I was thinking …" Cutting himself off, he pulled out a pack of American Spirit's, popped one into his mouth and lit it. "You didn't happen to see that fucking Flea today, did ya?"

Tipping her head slightly to the side, her fingers flashed across the small keyboard a moment later before holding back up for him to read. 「Why would want to find him? You're not still thinking about what he said last week; I thought you said he was joking? 」

Amber eyes looked over the message, breathing in a lung full of smoke before blowing it out and shrugging. "I don't know what the hell he was thinking, but it's been bothering me, ya know?"

「Still..? 」

He nodded, looking away for a moment as she typed out another message. 「I haven't heard from him in a few days, but I have ways of contacting him. I don't know what good would come from it, but I'll do it for you. 」

Shizuo could only sigh as he thought over those words, pushing his glasses back up his nose in frustration. That little parasite wasn't even around and he was getting to him, the two sides of himself warring with one another because of Izaya's words. Part of him wanted to clear this entire issue up so they could go back to how things were, and the other part of him kept reminding him that the fucker wouldn't give him a straight answer anyway.

"Shit Celty, I really don't know what I should be doing. There is part of me that knows he's just being himself, causing problems." He paused, rubbing his face. "There there is this little voice inside," He said, tapping his chest gently. "That really wants to know if he was serious at all."

Celty could only nod; oh she could completely understand where he was coming from. Didn't she have the same doubts and curiosity when it had come to Shinra? All of the uncertainties she had carried, the need to know if it was real. Could she have those emotions, speak those words that he spouted so easily? 「Give it a few more days, maybe he will show up on his own? You know Izaya can't stay out of Ikebukuro for too long, and if you don't see him in a few days, I'll get in contact with him for you. 」

"I… thank you, Celty." Finishing off the cigarette, he pushed away from the railing and shoved his hands into his pocket. "Hey can you… not let Shinra know what's going on?" The courier nodded, walking back over to her bike. "Thanks again, I'm gonna head on back, don't let Shinra harass ya to much, ok?"

Her shoulders shook slightly, as if she was laughing, and then waved a hand in front of her face at his words. 「I'll see you soon, Shizuo. 」She typed, speeding off on her bike a moment later as the blond watched her disappear out of view.

Walking back though the streets, he once again became distracted by his thoughts. Even though talking with Celty helped, it still hadn't given him any more answers and once again he was left clueless. Maybe this was just his lot in life, and that was exactly what he deserved for being involved with such a little shit.

"I gave you all of the information you asked for," He knew that fucking voice. It had been engrained into his brain for years and there was no mistaking it. Taking a few more steps, he glanced around the corner to see what he already knew.

There were two figures less than a hundred feet away from him, one was an older man who didn't look too pleased with the words coming out of the younger mans mouth. The other, well it had been the parasite he'd been looking for the past week. The informer was wearing that smirk Shizuo was used to seeing by now, as he shrugged slightly. "Any further information will cost extra."

That fucking Flea… that pest was in Ikebukuro, had he purposely been avoiding the blond then?

The very thought just pissed him off even further, here he had been restless all week and now that little shit was showing up? Growling slightly, Shizuo could only think of one thing at the moment… oh yes this meant war. If that pest had purposely made him suffer, then Shizuo would get revenge. Retracing his steps, he came upon a vending machine that he hadn't passed long before seeing Izaya. It wasn't as large as some of the ones he'd seen on the main streets, but it would work for what he needed.

Reaching down, Shizuo began to pull at the heavy piece of metal as it whined in protest. Whoever had put the machine there had also made sure to bolt it into the sidewalk below, as if that would stop him in any way. He simply twisted it, as he put a bit more effort into moving it. Soon he heard the screech of metal on metal, then a pop and finally a snap as the machine came loose from its binds. Oh yes, he would teach that asshole not to say shit, and then ignore him.

Walking back down to the end of the block, the bodyguard turned the corner and was pleased to see the two were still wrapped up in their conversation. It was perfect, and he was going to use it to his advantage. Smirking, he took aim, lined up the machine and then released the huge metal box into the air. A moment later it came crashing down as the glass broke and drinks scattered across the sidewalk only a few inches away from where Izaya stood.

For the first time since he'd known the man, Shizuo had actually managed to surprise him. The informer stood there, eyes wide for a moment, just staring at the crumpled piece of metal that lay beside him. A moment later those same eyes rose, meeting his own. "Izaaayaaaaa-kun."

"I just love the way a monster like you says hello, Shizu-chan." Completely ignoring the fact that his customer had taken off, yelling something about flying vending machines and crazy fucked up people. "I suppose I should thank you." A smirk crossed his features at those words as he slid his hands into his jacket pockets. "He was quiet annoying, and honestly was starting to aggravate me."

"I didn't do it for you." He replied, walking towards the informant.

"You need to work on your aim."

"I missed on purpose," As those words were said; a hand came down and grabbed the brunette by the arm, pulling him towards the alley that was nearby. "We need to talk, fucking Flea."

"As much I would love to have a simplistic discussion with a protozoan, I do have other appointments to go to." The happiness in his voice was forced, but he tried to hide that fact as he sought to pull his arm away from the bodyguard.

"Cancel them." He whispered, looking back at Izaya for a moment.

The informant had never seen that look in the blonds' eyes before and for some reason it unnerved him a bit. He was snapped out of his thoughts as his back connected against a cold stone wall. "My, if I knew that Shizu-chan was such a romantic, I would have asked you to drag me down an alleyway a long time ago." He purred, smiling up at the taller man before him.

"Shut it, pest."

Frowning slightly, Izaya wrapped a small hand around the man's wrist. "Do you mind taking you hand's off of me? I'll listen to you talk… I don't have much of a choice it seems. I'd rather you not touch me though."

Shizuo could only roll his eyes. "Mm, and let you run away? Deal with the touching, you parasite."

"Please, now why would I want to run away from you?" He asked, his smirk holding a slight frustration at his present circumstances. "You're treating me so well; it makes me wonder why you don't have a girlfriend? I'm sure she'd love to be held against a wall by some monster who doesn't know the meaning of no."

God, there he went again shooting his mouth off. Shizuo knew he did this to get a rise out of him, but today he couldn't let his temper get the better of him. "I've been looking for you all week." He whispered meeting the smaller mans eyes. "I need to know what you meant when we spoke."

"You're still thinking about that?" Izaya couldn't help but laugh, resting his head back against the wall behind him. If he had to stand here looking up at the man he might as well have a bit of support. "Really, Shizu-chan, you are such a simpleton. Of all things that could have bothered you…"

"Izaya, I'm not fucking around." He didn't want to hear jokes and excuses right now. "I need to know if it was just another shitty joke."

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "I meant exactly what I said Shizu-chan, there was no other meaning." Izaya couldn't stand to look at those eyes anymore, he was asking too much. Yes maybe he hadn't meant to say what he did, but he figured that the blond would have just brushed it off and moved on. "If you honestly have no clue then you really are a monster, all brawn and no brain."

"I'm not a stupid as you treat me Flea. Just because I won't submit and play your fucking mind games, you try and make me feel like I am less than you." There was a growl then, as he pushed away from the informant and leaned against the adjacent wall. "You just try and make yourself feel better because you know you can't control me."

"Then why are we having this conversation?" He asked, his eyes still staring at the ground below him, suddenly a laugh escaped him as he met those amber hued eyes. "God, Shizu-chan, you'd be really smart if you weren't so dense."

"That makes no sense…" Frowning slightly, the blond slid down the wall into a squatting position. "I don't have a reason." That piqued the interest of the informant across from him. "I thought about it… a lot. Fuck, more than a lot. I don't have a valid reason for why I hate you."

"I see," There was silence for a moment, and then Izaya looked over at him. "Shizu-chan, which is worse… saying something and knowing that there might be a point in your life you'll come to regret saying it. Or holding it in, and regretting that you never said the words for the rest of your life?"

He shrugged. "I think it's good to be honest."

The man actually fidgeted slightly at those words. "I was honest."

"When," He asked, meeting the deep red eyes before him. "That day when it rained…" Izaya nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. "So what did it mean?"

"Truthfully, Shizu-chan, you're going to drive me crazy one day."

Shizuo couldn't help the smirk that crossed his features. "Well I'm already there because of you, so I'll call this payback."

"You're a monster, you don't understand anything I say, and then you blame it on me anyway."

"Hey, keep it simple and we will both be good."

"This is why I hate speaking with you, you stupid protozoan!" He snapped, finally loosing the cool facade that usually graced his features. "You're completely inept, and have a skull as thick as the Great Wall of China!"

He wasn't quite sure what he'd done to upset the man; but if anyone should have been upset it, should have been him. He was the one who had been going nuts the last week because of something this little parasite had said. "Look either tell me flat out what you wanna say, or let's just drop all this shit and forget it."

"I have said it, but you don't get it do you?" Izaya could only frown, making a sound of annoyance as he pushed away from the wall, crossing the short distance between the two, and slouched down in front of the blond. "Leave it to a monster to only understand actions and not words." With that said, he leaned forward one hand bracing against the wall as his lips met the blonds'.

Golden eyes widened as he opened his mouth to speak, but Izaya had only taken it as an invitation to deep the kiss between them. Shizuo's mind was going a mile a minute. He didn't know if he should punch him or allow this to continue. While he had suspected that Izaya's words had meant something along these lines, he never expected the man to act on it.

In the end his eyes fell closed as well, one hand reaching up to gently run down the pale mans neck as the kiss continued. It was different, warm; wet… nothing that he had expected it to be. As the informer pulled away, Shizuo couldn't help the slight blush that crossed his cheeks. That's when he realized something else… that fucking asshole had been his first kiss. "Flea…"

"I love you Shizu-chan." He whispered suddenly, cutting the other man off. He needed him to know that for once in his life he was being completely honest with himself, and with Shizuo. "I have always loved you from the first moment I saw you."

Shizuo could only blink.

.

..

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I want to thank my awesome beta reader, Az'y, for supporting me and helping me correct my stories! She was also the main force who helped me come up with the idea for this chapter… and insisted on the ending. So if you don't like the cliff hanger you can blame her! Luv j00 Az'y! :D

I also want to thank Chappy-the-Bunny for her continued support and friendship! Thank you! *hugs* 3

I would appreciate any feedback, even criticism if it is worded kindly. Any and all flames will be ignored and honestly won't affect me in the slightest. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

*bows*