A/N: I don't own Harry Potter
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Hermione part 2
"Because, sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!" she can feel it in her heart, and she knows where he is and her heart breaks - something's gone Oh, so terribly wrong- only for once Hermione Granger doesn't want to be right…
"Harry Potter is dead"
For a moment every soul seemed to have frozen- and to an outsider it may have looked like as though there were no living souls in the Great Hall at that moment, only rows and rows of corpses with crowds of statues surrounding them- blood stained and pale.
The moment, however only lasted a few seconds, before the reality hit like a storm, like a bludger on the face, like a splash of icy water- wake up it was saying, wake up and face the fact that the world has finally lost its last hope, its hero, her Harry.
"Harry Potter is dead"
The words resounded in her head…
Dead
…over and over…
Gone
…each time like a knife in heart…
Forever
Pain, Pain so deep it hurts to breath, hurts just to stand, to think.
It hurts to be alive.
And then the memories come flooding back again, but she just wants them to stop, just stop already! But they keep coming, over and over, bringing scalding pain with each one…
"It's only dying a bit later than I would have, because I'm never going over to the Dark Side! I'm going through that trapdoor tonight and nothing you two say is going to stop me!"
Suddenly, she felt Ron grab her arm – his face laced with tears.
Ginny was already ahead of them, her feet pounding on the floor, her footsteps echoing on the floor, drowning in the loss of her one and only love. And nobody was an outsider on this grief, nobody felt only pity and no pain, no they were all grieving-together for the loss of Harry Potter- their last chance, their lost hope and even the cynics amongst them who had claimed to always know it would end this way felt a piece of themselves dying with the boy who had lived.
As for Hermione herself- she felt her feet move of their own accord pulling her forward, yes, she had guessed, assumed that harry had gone to…to… but there had a been that small part of her that had hoped that she was wrong or that even if he had gone he would make it, he would survive, after all he had defied the laws of science, even the laws of magic before…
He had survived so many situations where anyone else would have crumpled, when others had expected him to fall, he had risen, and risen, again and again – his will to live for what he believed in, for those he loved had always been so strong, so unbreakable that she thought, perhaps deep down she had begun to see him as invincible as the superheroes that featured in those action movies her dad had loved so much but the truth was he was just a boy, a boy who had been through so much, yet loved life so much more.
"I still can't believe you gave that money to Fred and George" Ron had said. "I told you before," replied Harry "everyone needs a laugh, we need to live, smile, laugh, especially now…"
And he had been loved; only maybe he hadn't seen it, maybe it was her fault that he was able to walk away from this life – so ready, so quickly- he hadn't even waited to kill Nagini – or even say goodbyes and so what did that say she asked herself?
That she and Ron had failed him, perhaps they had, maybe they hadn't told him how much he meant to them, to all the Weasleys, to every member of the D.A, he had touched so many hearts and yet he had left them and she couldn't help but it feel it was all he fault.
The sun shone bright, they were sitting under the tree- their tree. Ron was reliving the match, harry was watching, his hair blowing, his face for once free from worry, she smiled with him. There was a war brewing out of the castle but here under this tree they were just three teenage friends and she'd swear he was happy…
The pain began to intensify.
Maybe he felt he had no one to stay alive for- he certainly wasn't scared of death she knew but if he knew how much he meant to her, to Ron even to McGonagall who was crying out for him at this very moment then why did he walk so easily to his own death? "If you want to go back, I won't blame you" he had once said but they had told him then and many times since that they would be there, always. Hadn't they done enough to show him they would always stick by him, that they would always be trio, no matter what he did or said? So what gave him the right to walk away now and take this part of his journey alone?
It was after first year; she saw his uncle and was shocked at how anyone could be so unpleasant. "bye, have a good summer!" he called waving as he walked away and despite only having a summer of torture ahead he smiled before walking away, his back to her fading away out of sight. Their first goodbye...
What hurt most- (apart from the fact that harry could walk away so easily away from his life) – was that she had started to believe, really believe that he would make it and end it all once and for all. He would get married and so would she and Ron and their families would be bound together by love, laughter and happiness and not death, pain and grief.
He was amazing and brave and courageous and one extraordinary wizard and her love for him as a friend, as a brother had made her really believe he would be able win this war…but he hadn't…he was gone…forever…leaving them behind to what …fight?...live?
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?" "Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious…"And together they walked back through the gateway to the Muggle world. And once again they went their separate ways, but it wasn't goodbye, not really. They would meet again. Soon.
His lack of palpable fear, his determination to win and conquer all had managed to blind her, managed to give her hope. Hope which was now crushing down within her: not fast and painless, but slow and torturous, killing her, bit by bit.
Should she have had more fear for him? Should she have never let hope be built? Because this pain… it was …raw…and Oh, it just hurt and hurt- it seemed silly now that she had ever shed a single tear before now, it was naïve to have thought she had witnessed pain, because she might have seen it in others eyes, might have thought she felt, but this pain, now, real, and unstoppable was worse than any physical pain the world- it was the pain of a heart crying out.
And the world might be crying too, she thought, listening to the hundreds of footsteps behind her, but they wouldn't cry for harry, just Harry, a friend a brother, no they cried for Harry Potter; the chosen one, the boy who lived, and others that she could see in the distance could be crying from laughter at the death of undesirable number one but to her, he was and would always be Harry, just Harry. Plain and simple.
Fourth year, finished and he had been through so much, but Harry was no longer just her best friend- over the past year they had grown closer and as her feelings towards Ron developed in a completely unexpected and unpredictable direction – her feelings towards Harry solidified; he was her brother- blood meant nothing- and so before they parted once more she kissed him on the cheek like she would a younger brother.
He was a boy who lost his parents at the age of one, had a childhood filled with hatred and yet still managed to have love and compassion instilled within him. She knew when people spoke of Harry in the future; they would undoubtedly talk about his courage and about all his heroic feats: some would still see him as a hero; others may question his actions, his sanity even. Whilst others may even laugh at him as a boy who thought he could save them all.
Hermione however would remember the look on his face after his first Quidditch match- an image forever engrained in her mind- he had looked happy and free and most of all proud that he had achieved something on his own. To him defying Voldermort more than once-Starting as a baby was not worth praise and she knew he would hate to be defined by every heroic moment of his life. So as she screamed out for him with Ron and Ginny- she felt herself break into a thousand scattering pieces…
And she mourned not only for the loss of a true hero (like everyone else), she cried out (in a voice that could shatter any heart) for Harry, to boy who gave chocolate frogs to his friends just to make them smile, the boy who despite never being loved knew the true meaning of friendship – and had lived his life for them, and their friendship.
Fifth year finished, and they had all stood around him- united for him. And although he never said it she always knew what he wanted to say and at that moment looking into his eyes she knew that he appreciated it more than words could say. Only she wondered if he could read her eyes just as well and notice how they tried to hide her concern for the pain he would nurturing alone throughout the summer…
The boy who knew how to forgive friend or foe…
He had sworn he would kill Sirius. He had let Peter Pettigrew go…what more was there to say?
The boy who was just as human as any other
He screamed and shouted and it broke her heart looking at the growing pain in his eyes- wondering how much he could take and then Sirius had died and she watched him suffer through it all again.
A boy who yes, had his faults but was still remarkably special
They were at Shell cottage and she was in pain and fear 24/7 but the thing that amazed her the most was Harry, his calm and collected demeanour, she felt a pang of loss as she thought how he no longer needed her to fit all the pieces and then a rush of pride as he for once decided not to act, at least not yet.
A boy who had turned into a man, before her eyes-a man who learned from his mistakes, learned to be patient.
She watched him twirl Ginny around as he kissed her there and then, brave, indeed since Ron was in the vicinity but no one could ever deny Harry was brave. And she knew then if Ron had said anything she would have set something much worse on him than birds- after all she had just seen her brothers eyes glow with warmth after a very long time.
Learned to laugh again, learned to love.
Learned what it was like to have a family- and loved it. And knew more than anything that family was the most important asset of a person- more important than money, or glory or anything the world could offer.
She had come to Ginny's room to get something when she looked out the window- the sight melted her heart. Harry with the rest of the Weasleys, laughing, joking- one of them- she watched as Molly tried to push his hair down and the twins tease him, Arthur clap him on the back. She smiled- Harry had found his family.
And so as the tumult of noise reached its peak and as emotion whipped over Hermione like a harsh sea more powerful than any Cruciatus curse and just before the crowd broke out in revolt she closed her eyes, one last time, for just a moment…
Harry was flying high over the ground, over the Quidditch pitch that was not far from where she was at this very moment, his hair blown back- he looked happy, blissful, and free and she knew he was pounding with adrenaline. Gryffindor scored- the crowd cheered. She saw him pump his hand up in triumph, his hair sticking up, a smile on his face, she watched him turn to Ginny beaming at her then to Ron, before flying directly overhead her and waving, just waving…
Goodbye, Harry she thought…
"You said to us once before, that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?" Gasping for air she opened her eyes he own word echoed in her ears she had promised to fight with Harry and she would fight now for him. Determined she looked up at the death eaters surrounding the body of her friend, her brother- yes, she would fight for him after all a friendship that began by knocking out a troll was hard to break…
A/n: sorry if you think this one is too long or dragged a bit- personally I'm not really happy with it but let me know what you think and please review! Anyway, Ron's next and then Ginny I think.
Also thank you to anyone who put this as a favourite and a special thanks to cubye4 for my review!