Naruto does not belong to me.
I open my eyes slowly. I-I don't want to f-face the world again. I don't think I can look at anyone.
"Hey Hinata! Don't take it so hard! There's always more than one way to the top! Just dust yourself back off and try again!" He said and gave his trademark grin, his longish blond hair swaying in the breeze. "I'll be more than happy to help you out!"
Except maybe Naurto.I can always use a dose of his confidence.
"Hinata," Neji whispers before his soft lips descend on my warm flesh, his hands caressing and teasing me everywhere, making me burn with wanting. On and on he teases me, licking and sucking and stroking until in a frenzy I demand that he fuck me as hard as he can...
That memory causes my entire face to heat up, and I touch my lips to stop their tingling. Maybe an hour or two with Neji would be even better.
"Hinata!" a voice startles me, and I pull the covers over my head. The feminine voice laughs. "It's just me!" She says, and I hear her get on her knees next to the bed.
"Oh!" I say, uncovering my head and wondering why I didn't recognize her voice before now, "Ten!"
"You've been asleep for a week! Everyone's been worried about you!" She said.
"A week?" I ask, but Ten had already turned her head to the door.
"Neji!" she called, "She's up!"
My Neji appears at my door and my heart leaps. But instead of the warm look I'm used to seeing, his eyes are distant and cold.
"Perhaps we should leave her alone," he said without crossing into my room, "I'm sure she would like to get herself cleaned up."
"But otto, she- - "
I didn't hear the rest of the sentence. Did she really call him–?
"O-o-o-otto?" I manage to squeak out. They both turn toward me, Ten-kun with a big smile.
"Hai! Neji and I were married four days ago." she says, showing me the ring on her finger.
I feel my chest clench. I press my hand to it as if that will stop crushing pain . I can't breathe! I can't breathe! The pain in my heart grows along with the sting of my tears, but I won't cry in front of them!
I may be a beaten down, sorry excuse for a ninja, but I still have a shred of pride left!
Now con-concentrate.....blank out all thoughts.....deep breath in, deep breath out.
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
"Hinata are you- - " Ten began.
"Stay back!" I say and lift my eyes. I jump, shocked to see charka lines instead of faces and clothes.
"A-ano...." I say and I can feel my face turn red again, this time from embarrassment. Why did I have to shout at her? To hide my face, I bow my head. Why did I have to embarrass myself like that?
"T-thank you so much f-for .....nursing me on your- - " the words won't come! Come on Hinata, you can do this! "H-h-hon-honeymoon. B-but I can take care of myself n-n-now, thank you."
"Are you sure Hinata?" that bitch asks me, and I hear her lean closer to me.
"Yes." I say faster then I would like, forcing my fingers to keep a relaxed grip on the comforter.
Moments pass. She doesn't move.
"Let's go Ten." Neji-san finally says.
"Hai, Otto." She replies, making me flinch. She practically skips to the door, "I'm glad you're feeling better Hinata!" she says before the door closes. A pillow hit the door barely a second later.
I blink, looking at my extended arm. I don't remember grabbing the pillow. My arm blurs as the tears finally fall.
I-I-I c-c-can't believe th-the-they're m-m-m-married!! I-I-I d-d-don't- -
'
Thank you,' Neji finished, running the tips of his fingers down my hands as he took the lunch box I'd made for him.
'No!' I say to myself as I clutch my head and hunch over, 'No memories!'
'I'll see you after practice." Neji whispers in my ear, making my body quiver and my cheeks turn red.
Please! I beg myself as I sob harder, no more!
But myself won't listen.
'Neji!' I cry out, our sweaty, entangled limbs slipping and sliding up and down, the sensations climbing higher and higher, gasping and moaning and keening until- -
"Oh God!" I cry, falling over and sobbing into my pillow. Why Neji? Why did you have to be so cruel to me? What did I do to deserve it? I thought- - I thought you loved me.....
ox~ox~ox~ox~ox~ox~ox
I woke up, feeling groggy and disoriented. Rubbing my eyes, I get stiffly out of bed and look around.
Something is wrong. I blink and look around again. It's all the same furniture I have in my room, but- -
Then I realize. The room is smaller. The room blurs and I blink harder, the room finally coming into focus after a few moments.
Oh. It's a lot smaller. Why am I having such a problem with my eyes? I look into the mirror and see the answer.
The curse mark.
That's right. I-I- couldn't beat Hanabi.
I'm a branch family member now.
I couldn't remain the heir to the Hyuga clan. I couldn't keep Neji. The tears pool in my eyes again.
I'm a total failure.
I was the weakest member under Kurnai-sensei, I'm the only Chunin left in the entire village who hasn't led a team, I'm the weakest one of my entire class!
I fall to my knees.
I'm no good.
I'm useless.
Another thought came to me and I gasp, clutching my hand to my abdomen.
I've failed my descendants too.
What if I have a Neji? He/she would have the power to rule and couldn't, because their Mama didn't have it within her to beat her little sister.
They're gonna hate me. I bow my head to the ground and sob.
I'm nothing. Oh God, I'm so pathetic.
Suddenly, I feel a tongue lick my face. Blinking, I look up. Akamaru?
He whined, rubbing his face against mine. I didn't sense his charkra at all! My eyes well up with tears again. Akamaru licks my face one more time and 'whofs' softly towards the window.
Of course Akamaru wouldn't be here if his master wasn't nearby. Slowly on shaking legs I stand, not wanting to face Kiba at all.
Kiba is well-meaning, but I usually feel more pathetic after talking to him.
I open the window all the way and sit on the ledge as the warm breeze filled with the fall smells drys the tears on my cheeks. I glance at him, standing to the side and below my window, his foot on the wall and his arms crossed. I look away.
Moments pass.
"Are you alright?" he asks me softly. I don't know how to answer him.
"Um..." I try, twiddling my index fingers, "I-I - - "
"It'll be okay, Hinata, " Kiba says, saving me from having to finish my sentence.
I'm pathetically grateful.
"So you couldn't beat Hanabi. Big deal. You're still a Chunin, and a trusted Konoha ninja."
His assurances are only making me feel worse.
"Besides, you're more free as a branch member anyway, you could," Kiba's voice grows more quiet, "you could marry anyone you wanted." He pauses for a minute. "Hanabi has to marry whoever Lord Huyga says, but you could- - choose whoever and- - "
I can only marry another Hyuga. But I didn't have the heart to tell Kiba that. Neji is the exception because Fath- - Lord Hyuga still feels guilty over ojisans death. Neji...I feel the crushing pain in my chest again...Neji is married to Tenten!
"Yeah, they were married a few days ago," Kiba says. I didn't realize I'd spoken. "Tenten had been pushing Neji to marry her since last spring - - "
Kiba's voice fades as I digest that. Since last spring. Six months ago. The six months I had been with Neji.......how long have they been- - ?
"Was I the only one who didn't know?" I whisper to myself. Kiba stops talking and shifts uncomfortably, giving me my answer. I begin to sob again.
I feel like such a fool!
Suddenly, I feel arms around me.
"Don't cry Hinata," Kiba whispers in my ear, "Neji may not care- - but there are other people who you're very important to...people like me."
Ox~ox~ox~ox~ox~ox~ox
It was about midnight when I came home. I had to make sure Hinata was sound asleep before I left.
"Pup!" my Mom calls and walks into the living room. She stops, looking around and sniffs the air. "Where's Akamaru?" she asks me.
I hesitate before answering, because I know what's coming.
"He's...with Hinata tonight."
I see the pity fill in my Mom's eyes and I look away. To leave your bondmate with someone announced to the entire world that you were gonna marry them. I narrow my eyes. But that's not the case...no matter how much I might wish it.
"Oh pup, you can't- - she doesn't- - "
"I know! I know!" I interrupted, not wanting someone to say it. Please, let me hope, if only for a little while longer. "I know Mom...but I can't help it ok? I love Hinata. I love her."
I shift and turn away so I couldn't see her face. "So please...."
I hear my Mom walk towards me, then stop.
"I...loved a Hyuga once," she begins quietly, shocking me into staring at her, "We were...deeply in love." Mom's voice grew bitter, "The Hyuga's of course, didn't approve. They warned him several times to 'give up his obsession with mutts'." My Mom lifted her chin, her wild hair swaying with the movement. " But he didn't listen." Mom pauses and smiles sadly, "In fact he married me.." Mom blinks back tears, "and they killed him for it! They slaughtered him like a pig in our bed!" My mother wipes away the tears with the palm of her hand and turns away from me. "I learned later that it was the standard punishment for any Hyuga who dared marry any outsider."
Mom turned her head to face me, tears falling down her cheeks and so much pain in her eyes that it hurt to look at them, "So you see, even if you and Hinata ended up together, they'd kill her...just like they killed my Keiichi."
With that, Mom walks back into the kitchen, wiping away tears.
I stood still, torn between my own pain at my mother's revelation and the pain that radiates off of her in waves. I walk to the kitchen, my mind whirling even as I go to comfort her. I can't marry Hinata....even if she loved me...I can't accept that. I won't!
"Goodnight Pup." Mom says, stopping me in my tracks. She obviously wants to be alone. I don't know whether to feel rejected or relieved.
"Night Mom." I almost whisper, walking away and climbing the steps to my room.