It all happened so quick.

"Mmm, you smell really good…" He studied my features. I passed, it seemed, since he smiled in a way that made me very uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than I already was, that is.

"Come on…" The guy was kissing my neck, giving me goose bumps. His hand moving, in under my T-shirt, waist, further up. I stiffened.

"Get… OFF me!" I threw him off me using all of my strength, sitting up immediately. Ready to defend myself.

My dear cousin would have been proud of me.

The guy didn't look offended, just shook his head a couple of times. His hair was black, reaching down to his shoulders. Eyes very dark, with a slight red streak. High cheekbones, long lashes.

He was gorgeous.

"Sure, if you say so." He said when he was done shaking his head. He got to his feet again, smiling like nothing had happened. Now that his hair wasn't as untidy, I could glimpse something red in it. Was he wearing a diadem?

Oh, my god.

It wasn't a diadem.

It was two small, red, pointy horns.

I screamed, and two things happened. The first thing was him frowning, then realizing why I was screaming. The second thing was something huge and white tumbling in through the window, knocking the guy over.

"What did you do to her, you perverted monster?" The white thing got to its feet. It wasn't a thing at all. It was another guy. Short, white hair and silvery eyes. He was dressed in a long, white gown.

Two enormous, white wings were sticking out from his back.

I sat down on my bed, carefully. My mouth was hanging wide open. The angel smiled gently, taking a step towards me. A worried look in his eyes.

"Are you hurt, child?" I shook my head, unable to speak. A bored voice from behind spoke.

"You are aware of the fact that she, technically, is only a year younger than you?" The angel turned and hissed at the devil.

"I am…" I interrupted him.

"Dear, sweet mother of J…"

"Don't!" The devil jumped, panic in his eyes. I closed my mouth. The angel raised one eyebrow. Were angels really allowed to look sarcastic?

"No, feel free to do so." The devil shot him a nasty look. Then he stuck his tongue out. The angel raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really mature." I opened my mouth again.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but… who are you?" The angel apparently remembered me again, for he turned to me.

"I am Adam. I am an angel sent from Heaven to you, child." The devil pushed him aside.

"Payback. Now" He sat down beside me at the bed. "I'm Judas, your all new, personal devil! Hi! How are you?" He tried to shake my hand.

I stood up. Slowly. These people were obviously disturbed, and who knew what they might do if I made a mistake.

"Okay. Sure. If you just wait here, and I'll go make a call…" I started walking towards the door, accidentally stepping on the chocolate cake I had dropped when Judas had decided it was a good idea to try and seduce me.

"That's not gonna happen. Just so you know it." Judas sounded amused. I stopped dead.

"And why is that?" My voice ice cold. He might be mentally ill, but he was also starting to get on my nerves.

"Because I cut the phone wire. I figured you'd react like this." The sound of a slap made me look over my shoulder. Adam had slapped Judas. He had a disgusted look upon his face.

"I knew you were an evil, tainted being, but I actually didn't think you would take it out on a human." Judas sighed and rolled his eyes.

"A, I'm not taking anything out on anyone. It was the logical thing to do. And B, she's not technically a human, you know." The angel turned his face away, refusing to speak. I leaned against the wall. Closed my eyes. Tried to think.

Okay. I was stuck in a house with two men who obviously thought they were an angel and a devil.

I was screwed.

"Hello? Miss?" I opened my eyes again. The devil was looking at me. I could imagine how I looked right now, and the mere thought made me shudder.

"What is it?" My voice sounded a lot weaker then I wanted it to. I hoped I wouldn't faint.

"I know what you are thinking." I chuckled.

"Oh, really?" My head was spinning. Everything was spinning.

"Yes. But we are not mental. I am a devil, and that guy is what you would call an angel. Come on. Feel his wings. They are real – trust me, I should know. You have no idea how many times I've tried to get rid of him by throwing him out the window!" I was just shocked enough to find this incredibly funny. I started giggling. He smiled crookedly, which only made me laugh harder. Adam did not seem to appreciate this.

"And, may I ask what your name is, child?" The child´ threatened to make me start laughing again, but I regained control in the very last moment.

"Jennifer. But you can call me Asia."

"Hmm. Asia." Judas pressed his lips together. Then he spoke again. "Not bad. It could have been a lot worse. It could have been Mary, for His sake! Well, it's a shame it's not Jezebel, but I guess you can't have it all, can you?" I was more confused then ever. And, looking back at the last few minutes, that actually meant a lot.

"Why does it matter what my name is?" Adam opened his mouth, but Judas didn't even let him speak.

"Hold it, shiny boy. I'll handle this." If Adam hadn't approved of me giggling, he certainly didn't approve of Judas handling it´, whatever that meant.

"Handle what, exactly?" I apparently looked very suspicious, since Judas patted the bed.

"Come on. Sit." I shook my head, and he rolled his eyes. "Trust me on this one." I could only blame it on the shock (and, partially, on his looks) that I actually sat down beside him.

"Okay. I'll assume you've heard everything about the Big Guy in school?" I nodded, guessing the Big Guy meant God.

"Well, there has been a little mistake, you see."

"Our Lord doesn't make mistakes!" Adam snarled. Judas jumped at the Our Lord and shot a nasty look at Adam.

"Will you stop that? I can't even be in the same room as you!" Adam grinned cruelly.

"Good."

"Whatever. Just don't do it again." Judas focused on me again. "You see, you are giving off signals." And I had thought they sounded like they were mental before.

"Signals?" Better not make them upset.

"Yes. It means you do have some sort of divine power. But we don't know what kind. And that is why you'll have to put up with Mr Oh-I-Left-My-Halo-At-Home, instead of just enjoying my company." Adam was now pissed enough to do something radical. He actually knelt before me.

"Child, you are a daughter of Our Lord Jesus." He pronounced the Jesus a little extra carefully, causing Judas to shout. This cheered him up a bit. He beamed at me. Literally. Adam was giving off a faint but visible light.

Oh. God. I was starting to think they were telling the truth.

"Okay…" A naked foot suddenly kicked him in the chest, making him fall backwards. Judas grinned, very, very pleased with himself.

"So why are you here?"

"Well, Asia, I'm here to convince you that you do not belong to their side. And he is here to disturb me. And trying to make you choose their side. Basically."

"Their side? So I'm choosing between Heaven and Hell? Shit, this is like a movie. A really stupid movie. The worst movie I have ever seen." I knew I was babbling, but I couldn't stop myself.

"No…"

"Yes, that's exactly what you're doing. I think the option to choose is quite obvious." Adam had gotten to his feet, and backed off. He did not trust Judas enough to kneel again.

"It's not like that. You've been brainwashed by their minions."

"They are called priests, not minions. They are good people trying to save humankind from eternal damnation." Judas frowned.

"That's what I said. Minions." While he was speaking, his hand had been starting to gently slide up my back. I glared at him, and the hand disappeared.

"There are two kinds of afterlife. That's because there are two kinds of happiness. The one you call Heaven represents peace, serenity and balance. And the one you call Hell represents passion, instincts and… well, fun." Judas cleared his throat. "Depending on which kind you prefer, you get to either Heaven or Hell after you die. Now, there are two people running these places. Their guy and our guy."

"Our guy´ as he calls it, is Jesus. The saviour of humankind." Judas winced with pain. I felt I had to do something.

"Adam, stop saying that. I forbid you to do that in my house." It worked. He became silent.

Judas threw me a thankful look and carried on.

"Our guy is the one you know as the devil. I won't say his name out loud, because unlike someone, I'm following the rules. But I think you have a pretty good idea of who I'm talking about. " I nodded. "So what you are choosing between is passion or serenity. In short. Then, if I might add, there are certain things you might want to know about their side… Like their methods."

"We have done nothing but to work for the good of the humankind."

"Yeah, pouring buoyant lead into the throats of homosexuals was really helpful for them, I'm sure."

"That was a single case! An insane priest who, I'm sure, was working for your side."

"Excuse me, but if I may remind you, it's your side who's got a problem with homosexuals, not our side…"

"HEY!" I shouted. They both grew silent in an instant.

"Okay. Let's calm down." I took a deep breath, trying to follow my own advise. "So let's assume you guys are some kind of divine creatures. How do I get rid of you?" Judas put an arm around my shoulders.

"Well, you see, we are staying until you've chosen. That's our jobs." I took a deep breath, trying desperately to think straight.

"And why does it matter what my name is?" Judas answered.

"Well, if it'd have been Jezebel, then I'd have a head start. But both Jennifer and Asia are neutral… So guess we are back on square one."

"Have we ever been anything else?" Adams voice was so sarcastic I was surprised Judas didn't get mad, but he gasped, jumped up from the bed and embraced him.

"Oh! Look! He can actually think! Glorious day!" Adam looked nauseous.

"GET OFF ME!" Hmm. I thought I had seen that somewhere before.

Oh. Right.

"So I can't get rid of you?" Judas now lying on the floor, Adam tried to brush off whatever particles Judas had left of himself on Adams white gown.

"No, child. You have to choose."

"Can you just call me Asia, please? Child´ feels kind of weird." He nodded. Point taken.

"Shit." I lay down on the bed, covered my eyes with my hands. "Crap." Someone gently stroked my cheek.

"Judas" I growled, "if you don't stop that, I swear I'll chant Pater Noster´ so many times your ears will melt. The hand disappeared. I lay there for a couple of minutes, then sat up again.

"Okay, this is it. If you people are going to stalk me, you'll follow my rules. Caprice?"

(Chapter two is done, you guys! I almost feel sorry for her… Or I would, if the two guys weren't so goddamned hot.

Yours truly,

Mickasala)