Edward or Jacob. Jacob was great and all, a shifter wolf with a rocking body, but he was more about fun than being an intellectual, I already decided in my mind, but I didn't want to hurt him. Edward was mysterious and the fact that he could snap and kill me at any second was a bit thrilling, I know I was being stupid, but I also loved Edward and I couldn't just deny that to be with Jacob. Hopefully, Jake and I could still be friends after this. I was currently lying on the beautiful bed the Cullens had got for me in Edward's room thinking about everything when Edward walked in.
"Hey Bella?" He asked, looking a bit nervous which was unusual, he was normally calm and collected.
"Yes?" I asked, my brow knitting together in confusion.
"Well, I was thinking about how we're mates and we're going to be together forever and all that, also how you want to be turned, so, I have a proposal for you. I'll change you, but only if we get married first." I was shocked at the bluntness, but I couldn't refuse, the thought of being with Edward forever was so tempting I had to say yes.
"Okay." I said without hesitation.
"Really, okay. Here, I even brought the ring, it was my mother's." He slid it onto my hand and I jumped up, right into his arms, kissing him firmly on the lips.
"We have to tell everybody." A bit of anxiety rose up, but I calmed quickly, everything was going to be fine, we'd together, forever.
"Now?" I asked and he nodded. "Okay." He set me down and together we walked down the stair and told everybody who were overjoyed at news, well, everybody except Jasper he wasn't to excited, but he was happy and so I didn't pay any attention to it. There were hugs and immediately a day later the plan were being made. I was whisked away by Alice, Esme, and Rosalie to go shopping and the guys stayed home and started construction. Afterwards the invitations were getting sent out and Edward and the guys went to get their outfits for the wedding, it was all going perfectly. That was until Alice, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett had to go to the Volturi to explain the situation to them/ It was only Rose, Jasper, and me inside the house and I was missing Edward, because of this the wedding would be pushed back a whole week for their trip and it was frustrating.
It was final, I know I thought it was final before, but now it really felt like there was no way I was going to have Bella for my own. They were getting married and with every flower I hung it felt like I was slipping deeper into an inescapable depression. I tried to shake it off, they were happy, but I couldn't help but love her and this was all my mistake. Everyone except for Bella and Rose were gone and it was harder to avoid the ring on my loves finger that seemed to be mocking me. I was outside, brooding once more, when I heard Bella's footsteps, I tried to plaster the fake smile on my face, but it was too late.
"Jasper, why are you so sad?" She asked and I had to be a quick thinker, I really hadn't got to talk to her like this in awhile, not since homecoming.
"Just missing Alice." I said, that's believable.
"Really? Because I'm pretty good at reading people and I've noticed you two have been growing apart lately…" My eyes grew wide, but I could help my heart flutter, she was so observant, I loved that.
"Well, you're not wrong, she doesn't trust me one bit, she always thinking I'm cheating on her whenever I want to be alone. I hate it."
"Well, have you ever cheated on her?" She asked, sitting down next to me.
"No, never, but I don't why I shouldn't. I don't love her anymore, but the girl I do love isn't available." I cursed myself, I said too much, she's going to figure it out!
"Then why don't you leave her and go tell the girl how you really feel?" Phew, she didn't see it.
"Well, because it would tear apart our family, they would feel the need to pick sides and I would have to leave, also I don't think the girl feels the same way anyway."
I felt a pull in my heart, and to my surprise, it toward Jasper. Edward was gone, he would never know… no, Rose was here and she would figure it out, also, I'm about to marry Edward, it would tear him apart if he knew I cheated.
"Well, because it would tear apart our family, they would feel the need to pick sides and I would have to leave, also I don't think the girl feels the same way anyway." Was Jasper talking about me? Did he feel the same way?
"Well, there's no shame in a .. secret love affair." I said, placing my hand on his knee. I didn't know what I was doing, but it felt so right. "I think she feels the same way to...' I left it and leaned in,smiling when I saw him follow suit. Our lips touched and it was like nothing I had ever experienced with anybody. The passion between the two of us was more than both Edward and Jake together and I now knew that I wasn't Edwards mate, not anymore. That was the last time I thought about Edward though, I was to focused on the man I making out with, the one I knew I loved.
"Rose." I said in between kisses and I felt Jasper nod. We broke apart, going back up to the house and getting on Jaspers motorcycle, driving until we got to Port Angeles. No one knew us here, we were safe. Jasper got a hotel room in cash and we ran through the halls holding hands and laughing like the teenagers we were, it was so thrilling. Jasper shoved me up against the door as he unlocked it, giving me another one of his kisses. We barely even thought of anyone else as we stumbled in, our lips stuck together as we kissed each other with equal passion, taking turns stripping off a piece of clothing between us.
"I've always loved you Bella." Jasper said as he laid me down on the bed, both of us completely naked.
"I can't believe I haven't noticed." I joked and we were back at it again...
As we slowed down our make out session stopped and it was just little kisses as I laid in Jaspers strong arms, feeling more at home then I ever had with Edward.
"I love you." I said, looking up at the ceiling above me.
"I love you to." We sat in silence for a few moments before I decided to get up and take a shower and I was almost done when Jasper decided to join me.
After a bit we went back home once more, telling Rose we were out at a movie or something and we went on our day as normal, as if we hadn't just had very passionate sex in a hotel a couple towns over. It was nice, but every day or night after we would sneak out to be with each other. On one of the last days before Edwards and then would come back, Jasper and I, like always, were in each other's arms after a very electric night, in complete silence.
"We could run away." Jasper said out of nowhere, shocking me.
"I can't." No matter what, I couldn't just leave Edward. "You said it yourself, it would destroy everyone and I don't want that to happen, this needs to stop. I'm getting married in two days and you've been married for almost a hundred years, this isn't right and you know it." Jasper sighed, sitting up on the edge of the bed.
"I know, but I just can't help myself. There is something I know from my time with is that you are not Edward's mate, so there will be someone down the line who you will love even more than anyone else. When that time comes you're going to want to leave Edward so bad, but at the same time you don't want to destroy the family, You're going to have to make decision between your happiness and everyone else's. That's what I've chosen and, trust me, it's not fun, you get no satisfaction from the thought of keeping the peace." With that Jasper stood up and got into the shower. I did not join him this time. I got dressed and we drove home in silence as I put this past week behind me and focused on Edward coming home and my upcoming wedding. Deep breaths, but despite myself, whenever I was alone, I still thought of us, Jasper and I sneaking around and having the times of our lives.
The wedding was cute and no one ever suspected anything happened between Bella and I. Jacob gave his blessings and practically made Bella cry which made me want to rip his throat out and everything was perfect. Well, for everyone else that was. I pretended, which I found myself doing more, and more often these days, I smiled when I was suppose to and did what everyone else expected of me, but when Alice wanted to break the bed I found my not in the mood, ever. I watched Edward and Bella get into the car and drive away together, newly weds going to a romantic island and I wished it was me instead of Edward with her.
Esme Island, I was blow away that the Cullens owned an entire island, but I was one of them now and it could only be expected of them. The first thing we did when we got there was set our bags down and then have sex. It was Edwards first time and I had to pretend it was mine to and I found myself thinking of Jasper's name when I climaxed. I found that if I closed my eyes then I would see Jasper loving me instead of his brothers and everything was much better until I had open them once more and see that Jasper was replaced.
"What is wrong with you Jasper? Why don't you love me?" Alice asked one night and I couldn't hold back my sigh, she could be so aggravating sometimes. "Answer me Jasper!" She demanded.
"I don't love you Alice, there, is that what you wanted to hear? Hmm? You're not my mate and you constantly get on my nerves and I can't stand it anymore!" I then made a split second decision. "I'm leaving Alice, and don't try to follow me." I then started to pack as Alice followed me around blubbering about how much she loved me and all her lies. Once I had filled up a suitcase with money and clothing I got on my motorcycle and rode away, not looking back. I couldn't believe I said that to her, but I knew it was going to come out at some point, I just never thought I'd really be able to say it. Now, there was one thing I couldn't do though, which was confess my love publicly to Bella. She was the one I thought of constantly, but at the moment I had to get away. I drove, doubling back and making sure they wouldn't be able to find me, I made myself a new identity and settled in a small town on the western coast of Oregon. I bought a little house that I liked much more than the mansion we had, it was all very unnecessary in my mind. Every night all I thought of was Bella, feeling her soft skin underneath my fingers and hearing her melodic voice in my ears. I decided that because I was starting new, I might as well try something new as a change and so I took up cooking, getting a job at a local bar and grill. It was weird because I couldn't taste the food, but that was only a challenge and I was built to face challenges, it was a slow moving process, but every day I was getting better at the culinary arts.
"Donoven!" Someone from the front of the store yelled and I immediately looked up, wondering why my name was being yelled, in the six months that I've lived in Oregon and worked here, I had never been called out for anything. To my relief, it was only one of my friends I had made, he was a waiter and occasionally came into the kitchens to chat and give me tips when cooking.
"What James?" I asked, continuing my work.
"Nothing, I just felt like yelling your name." I scoffed, rolling my eyes at his friendly jab.
"Christ, I swear James, you're going to get me fired."
"You seem to being a pretty good job with that yourself with the shit you're shoveling out." He said laughing.
"Please, I'm learning, have some compassion!"
"Compassion's for the weak! Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me and a couple guys for drinks after work?" James asked and I really didn't have anything else to do, seeing as I never slept. It would also be nice to taste modern liquor, the last time I had tasted any kind of alcoholic drink was before I was a vampire and that was homemade moonshine.
"Sounds good to me, my shift's almost over anyway." I quickly wrapped up the last of my orders and hung up my apron, going outside to meet James and two other guys.
"Donoven, this is Hose and Hank, they will be joining us tonight."
"Okay, are we walking James?" I asked, wondering just where we were going.
"You guessed it, do you really think any of us can afford a car or fit onto your motorcycle?" James asked with a slightly chuckle and I just shrugged my shoulders, lighting a cigarette. We walked and kept walking until we reached the woods. I noticed that everyone seemed pretty tense and could feel the aggression growing in everyone, something was off. As we started walking into the woods I started to get nervous for the others sake, if they tried to hurt me, I'd kill them, without hesitation.
"Are you sure the bar is this way?" I asked James and all he did was nod. We walked for about twenty minutes more before we reached a clearing where you could see all the stars in the sky, this is where we stopped.
"James, this isn't funny, where are we?" Suddenly thee two guys turned around to face me and took out guns, pointing them directly at my chest. "You don't want to do this, trust me." I said, thinking only momentarily how cliche it all was.
"Oh, trust me Donoven, we do." He said, pulling out a butterfly knife and twirling it around naturally. James walked towards me calmly, holding his knife in a defensive position, but I didn't whimper, I stood my ground and my eyes never left his.
"You're a brave one, but it's not going to save you." James said, only inches away from me, took his knife and jabbed it into my side. Instead of crumbling on the ground and dying like everyone expected me to, I just took the knife out and through it into a tree nearby. Their eyes widened, fear blossoming in their soul when they realised they had seriously fucked up.
"I told you, you didn't want to do that and now you're going to have to die." It was only a split second before I pounced, going slower than I normally would just to give them a 'chance'. I drained the first guy and went for the next. After, James had ran off so I tracked him and drained him on the edge of the woods, I really thought I had made a friend, but I guess not.
I knew I had to leave after that and so I packed up and moved to Los Angeles, pretending to be a culinary student at a college which always nice. I decided to be extra careful because I did want to finish my degree in the culinary arts, which was about two years. To fit the part I started wearing flannel shirts and skinny jeans with bennies, which I had grown quite fond of, looking to be about twenty five. Over time I started to like my look and decided not to change it, even if I moved away. One night I was laying in my bed, thinking, and like always, Bella popped into my head and I was wondering what she was doing. I always wondered what she was doing, but I couldn't pluck up the courage to go back to Washington to see her.
I now had a degree in culinary arts, which was pleasing, I could now work in upscale restaurants, but for the time being I decided it was time to go see Bella. I packed a couple things and hopped onto my bike like I did only two and a half years prior, going in the opposite direction. It was nice to see familiar landscape and feel the cooler temperatures of the great pacific northwest, but my nervous grew with every fraction of a mile and I almost turned around a couple times. When I got to Forks I knew I didn't have to try and change my scent, over the time I was gone, my scent had evolved and may be slightly similar to what it was, but I doubt anyone would think twice about it. I got a room at a motel, one that Bella and I had never messed around in which was hard to find in Forks. I decided to walk to the house, I wanted to see if everyone was there and observe their schedules before I just knocked on the door. I sat in a tree for an entire twenty four hours, but for some reason, I never saw Bella, Edward or Alice, hopefully Bella wasn't gone. I decided the next day to do what I said wasn't and just go and knock on the front door.
"Jasper?" Esme breathed when she opened the front door, and before I knew it she was squeezing the life out of my undead body. "I missed you so much," she said, "a lot has happened in your absence." I wondered what she could be talking about, but I didn't ask her about it, knowing she'd tell me sooner or later. She invited me inside and we sat down on the couch, to my surprise, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rose were there to.
"Where did you go Jasper?" Carlisle asked in his usual calm voice.
"Culinary school in California, I wanted to do something knew and I wanted to get away and so I did." There was no point in lying to them.
"We missed you." Rose said, looking slightly pissed, but still feeling relief.
"I know-" I heard someone coming down the stairs, drawing my attention away from the conversation at hand. It was Bella. The only thing was, she didn't look like Bella, she had a white blonde buzz cut and two black lip piercings, she also had two golden eyes, she was vampire. Behind her was a small boy who looked to be about six with curly blond hair and deep hazel eyes, the weird thing was that he kind of looked like me.
"Bella.' I said shocked, I had thought she was gone with Edward and Alice.
"Where's Edward and Alice?' I asked, looking back at the others.
"They're gone Jasper." Bella said from behind me, walking up to one of the out lying couches and sitting down, the small boy following behind. "During Edward and I's honeymoon we found out that I was pregnant and everyone went crazy, no one knew it was possible," explains the child, "well, when Miles was born I died and so Edward turned me, but something was… off. Miles didn't look like Edward at all, as you can see, he looks just like you. They quickly figured us out and when I woke up both Alice and Edward were gone. That was only three months after you left. That is when I realised that you were my mate and being without made me not want to go on, the only thing keeping me alive really, was Miles, Miles Cyrus Cullen. He's your son Jasper."