Disclaimer: TheTeenageMutantNinjaTurtlesandallrelatedcharactersandsubjectmatterhaveallrightsreservedbytheirrespectiveparties.

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"Linda! Don't forget to buff the tables when the customer leaves!" My sister yelled at me from the back of the pizzeria.

"Yes, your majesty." I sneered as I grabbed a plastic square bucket and moved from table to table picking up after the mess every annoying customer would leave behind.

It had already been a month since I have come to live with my sister and I have been wishing for some action, anything, to happen. In a city that never sleeps I was already starting to get bored out of my mind.

I was moving around on auto pilot as a sluggishly went about cleaning every plate and bit of food that had messed up ever table. I swear some of these people were born in a barn and it was quiet disgusting some times.

"Linda," my sister sighed "If your not gonna make yourself useful around here, you can do the special delivery then." Ellie started as she handed me the Pizza bag, keys to the scooter and shoved me out the door.

"Just follow the directions on the bag and deliver the pizzas. Don't forget the money and when you're done, go back home." She said seriously from the front of the pizzeria as I started the scooter and put on the helmet. After I was situated, I looked at the instructions and started to leave.

"AND NO SIDE TRIPS!"

"YES MOM!" I shot back as my sister retreated back into her cove of solitude as I drove away. I cursed her existence under my breath as I weaved in and out of traffic trying not to become one with the road in a literal sense of the phrase.

The directions were extremely long and detailed and I was starting to wish my sister would invest in a GPS system for the damn bike so I wouldn't have to constantly check the damn directions and wonder if I was going the right way.

I was humming under my breath trying to calm my racing heart from the 20 close calls I had experienced in the past 10 minutes. Other then the threats to my health I was starting to get really bored really quick. Puerto Rico drivers were just as bad if not worse so I was getting really pissed as well.

"Why won't anything interesting happen." I growled as I shot in front of a truck and flipped of the bozo that was honking at me. "Yeah, well, fuck you, too, Cabrón!"

"A fire, a robbery, a parade, hell, even the local super hero would be fine, anything to make the boredom disappear." I muttered as I stopped at red light and took the time to read the next page of instructions.

"Turn left at the drug store and park at the antique store." I muttered as I looked up in time to see the light change. I looked for the drug store and took the left when I saw it. "Antique shop… Antique shop…where, oh where…There you are 'Second Time Around.' I cheered seeing the sign for the shop. I was parking out front when a kid ran out; a frazzled, buffed up man chased after the kid before she could run into the street.

"October, get back in 'ere wit dat hat! Mommy's trying to sell dat!" the man yelled as he caught the little girl, who was wearing an old sun hat from the 50's.

"But, daddy! Ith tho pwetty." The child said as she smiled up at her father, who was carrying her back into the store "Ape, Ah caught the thief!" he yelled with a snicker as he entered the store again.

"Aw, that's so cute." I mumbled with a small smile as I checked the instructions and turned off the scooter and turned on the alarm.

"Walk 4 blocks left then stand at the sewer vent and wait for the sewer man to pay you for the special order." I muttered as I walked the 4 blocks.

"Sewer man…That can't be right." I muttered as I continued walking reading over the instructions again and again. I was walking the last block when I realized the words weren't going to rearrange themselves and say something else. They still would say the same thing.

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"That will be 5 dollars ma'am" I said as I was paid for the order of a small sheet cake. This would usually be my sister's job seeing as she's the reason for the slew of customers from her small pastry section in the pizza shop.

When the phone behind me started to ring I picked it up "Boricua Pizza, Latin love in every slice. How may I help you?" I stated with an automatic quickness taken from 2 years of experience from having my own place.

It only took less then a second to pull the phone away from my ear and put my hand over the ear piece to muffle the yelling my sister was doing to destroy my ear drums.

"SEWER PEOPLE? ARE YOU LOCA! CABRONA! YOSEQUETUMEODIAS,PERONOPENSABAQUEMEQUERIASMUERTA!"

"Aynena,callate. You're busting my ears with your yelling. Just deliver the damn pizza. A customer is a customer, who gives a shit as long as I'm paid. Plus they order regularly, so shut up and keep 'em happy." I stated calmly and then hung up the phone.

Such a wuss.

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"What?" I yelled and got no response in return "Hello? Hello? CABRONA!" I yelled freaking out as I stood next to the sewer vent. When I wanted excitement I didn't mean the kind that would get ME killed.

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Deep in the sewer…

"Hey, shouldn' da pizza be 'ere by now?" Voice yelled with a rough Brooklyn accent "Yo Mikey, get off yer tail and go get da pie!" The voice yelled to a figure on the first floor that was punching away at a controller as he played a game that showed up on 12 different screens in a random jigsaw pattern.

"Wha…Why do I have to go get it!" the one called Mikey whined in some twisted surfer accent as he paused his game.

"Cuz Ah know where ya Silver Surfa numbah one is." The older voice shot back in a smug, smirking way, a hint of threat lying just beneath it.

"Raph, you wouldn't…."

"Wanna bet?"

"… I'll be right back with the pizza guys…" Mikey yelled rushing away quickly.

Raph smirked as he stretched his arms and turned to head back to his room and punching bag "Works ev'ry time."

"Really, Raph?" A gentle geeky voice said over the buzz of electric tools from a work bench below.

"Wat?" Raph called back in a ' What the hell did I do' voice

"You know how… sensitive, Mikey is about his stuff." The voice said as he put down his welding tool and took off his goggles. He then turned to look up at his brother who leaned against the balcony. "I don't see why you feel the need to deliberately antagonize him."

"For deh same reason ya mess with yer tools."

"I highly doubt you do it to be a helpful member of our home."

"No, I do it cuz it's fun, Don."

"Oh yeah… that." Don said, face-palming as he got off his chair and walked over to the figure on the balcony.

"And can you get your tail down here, please? It's hard to have a serious educated discussion with you while you're perched up on that bar like a monkey." Don said with a smirk as he watched his brother. "Need I remind you we're reptiles, not mammals…"

"Hah hah, real funny, smart-ass." Raf said as he flipped the bar and landed in a crouch "There, ya happy now?"

"Bro, one of these days you're going to crack our shell doing that."

"Don, if I haven' cracked mah shell flippin that bar yet, I doubt I evah will." Raph said as he stepped more into the light. He was a large muscular man, but he was completely deep forest green. He wore knee and shoulder pads and a long strip of red cloth covered his eyes like a mask. The oddest factor about him was his 3 fingers on each hand and 2 toes on each foot. All together he looked like he popped right out of a mad scientist's work shop because he was a giant mutant turtle.

"If you say so, Rafael." Don said as he turned around he looked the same as his brother with a few differnces, his muscles were a little less defined, his cloth was purple, and his over all color wad a green olive tone. "

"Shut da shell up, Donatello."

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I had been a good 5 minutes before I heard splashes below me signifying the arrival of the sewer person.

"Hel...Hello?" I said nervously looking into the vent seeing no one there.

"Yeah, I ordered 2 large pizzas. I owe you 20 bucks, right?" A voice said below me holding out the 20 dollar bill from the vent. I looked down at the hand holding the bill and saw, not a human hand, but a twisted green reptilian appendage reaching out for the pizza.

I jumped back in shock and fear clutching the pizza to me as I screamed. With my jump I landed on the second grate that led to the sewer below me. With an inhuman screech the grate gave way under me and I started to fall to my doom.

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I watched on in shock as the woman fell down the old rusted grate from above and I sprung into action with my quick ninja reflexes I quickly grabbed the woman before she was seriously injured and looked down at her. She had her eyes squeezed shut tightly like she was bracing herself for a painful impact. Quickly noticing she didn't have the prize I seeked I looked up in time to reach out my other arm and held it above my head as the pizza thermos bag landed in my hand.

"Woah, Lady are you o.k." I said looking down at the woman in my arm. She was younger than April when we first met her. At least she looked it. The girl's hair was windswept and a light color yellowish golden color. I believe the humans call it dirty blonde. In the dim light of the sewer in made most of the colors about her off but she was obviously a pale human girl. Her uniform shirt and shorts were rumpled from the sudden drop probably. She was still cringed in fear a minute later and I felt the need to try and calm her. "Hey lady, I know you guys have a 'thirty minutes or it's free' policy, but I didn't think you were so serious about it!"

The girl looked up in surprise and rubbed her eyes looking around for a second before she settled her eyes on me. As she seemed to focus in the dim light she opened her mouth and started to take in a deep breath of air to scream. I winced as she let loose her high-pitched screech and she started kicking and flailing knocking the pizza out of my hand.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Must…catch...box...with... slow motion jump...like...action...hero!" I leapt into the air arms outstretched, sailing through the air to make the big save. There was no way I was going to let the sacred ark be dirtied before it's time. The impact of the hard ground was nothing to me as I focused on the box. *THUD* The box nestled safely in my hand. "Oh baby, are you okay? Speak to me pal." I lifted the lid and peeked inside at my treasure. "WOOHOO HOO! We're safe. Every pepperoni in place, every anchovy is safe. Wait... anchovies? AWW MAN!"

"That's the last time I let Leo order the pie. Guess the delivery chick still deserves a tip. THE DELIVERY CHICK!" I whipped around to look at my waiter for the evening. She seemed to be curled into a ball...hugging herself?

"Oh god this is not happening….this is not happening…..I'm fine…I'm home…In my bed…asleep…..that's right I'm dreaming... and if I hit or pinch myself I will wake up…" The girl said insanely as she started pinching her arms and slapping her legs. "Oh god… oh god…..I am not hallucinating… this is some twisted nightmare it has to be." She muttered and looked up and caught me watching her and she backed up in shock and started fumbling with her pockets. "Don't come any closer, I got a taser and I'm not afraid to use it!" she yelled as she pulled a small box out and fumbled with it as she pressed a button. Not even a second later she spazzed out and fell to the ground.

"Oh great. What now? I can't just leave her there… Oh! Splinter will know what to do" I leaned down and hoisted her slumped body over my shoulder and began jogging down the sewer. "Just great, she's drooling on me. On my fresh coat of turtle wax too!"

"Hey guys I brought the pizza and they threw in a free surprise with it! Man, I love this place!" Mikey yelled as he dropped the girl's body onto the couch and gently set the pizza on the coffee table. I had just turned around when I was met with the shocked faces of my brothers as they looked at the young woman who lay unconscious on our couch.

Leo was the first to spring into action on the 'attack poor Mikey game' "Michelangelo! What did you do? You were just supposed to get a pizza not bring down the delivery girl with it. It's enough that April, Casey, Octy and the Foot know we exist. You're not supposed to let the whole of Manhattan and Stanton Isle knows we exist!" Leo yelled poking me in the chest around the couch.

"Awww, come on, Leo! What was I supposed to do? She fell threw the sewer grate. I wasn't going to just leave her there." I said as I put my hands up in a 'don't hurt me' gesture.

Raph just growled as he glared at the two of us "Ya really done it now, shell fer brains." He growled as he looked between our eldest brother and me. Leo glared at me though his blue mask his muscles flexing as he crossed his arms to glare at me. Raph stood right next to him in a similar pose. There was a reason we considered them the twins; they were identical other than Raph was the darker twin, being a deep forest green, and Leo being the lighter one; the color of grass. Yin and yang was a term our Master splinter said once.

While I wasn't paying attention and was off in my own world Leo and Raph had each grabbed a tail end of my orange bandana and were dragging my closer to get a good yell in.

"Uh guys…."

"Owww…. Come on guys! Let go!"

"Um guys…."

"OUCH! Come on guys, don't smack me! I just waxed my shell!"

"GUYS!"

"WHAT!" we yelled at Don when he yelled at us.

"She's waking up."

With that, the turtles turned their attention to the stirring girl on the couch. She rose slowly from the couch, grabbing her head as though she were in pain, then she looked around, trying to grasp her surroundings.

"Hey there, welcome back to the world of the living!" "Mikey, shut up will ya?"

She focused on the source of the voices narrowing her vision and locking onto the turtles.

"You gonna be okay, girl? You had quite a SHOCK!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"It wasn't that bad of a joke, sheesh…"

"S-stay away from me, I have a taser and I know how to use it!"

"That's doubtful honestly…"

She drew the taser once more and began fumbling with the switch as a nunchuk soared through the air, knocking the device away.

"Uh uh uuuh, we can't have you having a repeat episode. It's never as funny as the first time."

Grabbing anything nearby, the frightened girl continued her merciless assault.

"GET AWAY! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!"

Raphael deftly parried all the oncoming projectiles with his sais.

"Would ya knock it off already? We ain't gonna to hurt ya!"

"SHUT UP! GO AWAY! DON'T GET NEAR ME!"

She continued backing up and lobbing whatever she could find until she had run out of both ammunition and room. She collided with what felt like a wall with...fur? She swiveled around gazed upon what stopped her tactical retreat.

"It's a giant ra- ra- ra-"

"A rat?"

With a sigh of exhaustion, the girl crumpled into a heap on the floor, the shock of it all clearly too much for her.

"Fancy that, I never really thought Master Splinter as a real looker, but this just takes the cake."

"Shut up, Mikey."

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A/N: Spanish/English Dictionary for those who need it.

Cabrón- Asshole

Loca- Crazy

YO SE QUE TU ME ODIAS, PERO NO PENSABA QUE ME QUERIAS MUERTA!- I know you hate me, but I didn't think you wanted me dead!

Ay nena, callate- Oh girl, shut up