Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Please know that I have no first-hand knowledge of the treatments and side effects of cancer, so if the dialogue is incorrect, please forgive my mistakes.

They were about half way back to Colorado, when they stopped for the night. After an early breakfast the next morning, they continued on their way home.

After they had made one last stop to eat, Jim, Grace and the kids told everyone bye as they headed home to Denver.

Jake and Patrick carried Jack and Sam's luggage into their house when they arrived back in the Springs. Jake and Melanie's house was only a fifteen minute drive from Jack and Sam.

That night they lay in bed and Sam had her head on Jack's shoulder.

"It was a great vacation" Jack said.

"Yes, it was" Sam agreed. "The grandchildren are getting so big."

"They're great kids. We did a good job of raising Jake and Grace, Sam. They turned out to be great parents."

Sam smiled. "Yes, I'm very proud of them."

Sam drifted off to sleep but Jack lay there thinking. He and Sam would probably not live to see their grandchildren become adults. He felt it was a minor miracle they had seen their grandchildren at all, since he and Sam had married later in life than most couples. He had loved being a dad and especially a grandfather. He loved spoiling the grandchildren, something that he and Sam had tried not to do with Grace and Jake.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Wednesday morning came and they were getting dressed. Sam was looking at herself in the mirror as Jack came up behind her and encircled his arms around her waist.

"What cha thinking?"

"What I'm going to look like when I start losing my hair" she said as she tried not to cry.

"You will look just as beautiful to me as you always have. I think I'll like the sleek and sexy bald look" he said with a grin and she turned around and slapped his arm and laughed.

Jack always did have a way of making her smile in difficult circumstances and she was so glad that she had him there to keep her spirits up.

They soon left the house to make the ten minute drive to the doctor's office.

Melanie and Grace had volunteered to come with them so Jack wouldn't have to wait by himself but Sam had turned them down. She knew that Jack was still very independent and would not want to feel that he had to have a babysitter. She wanted them to keep their independence for as long as they could. Then if they needed help, they would let the family know.

They sat silently in the waiting room, holding hands, until one of the nurses came to get Sam for her first treatment. Sam stood up and smiled at him.

"I'll be back."

"I'll be here" he said as he watched her go through the door.

Sam's doctor had already told them what to expect when she started the treatments. Nausea, vomiting, weakness, loss of appetite, hair loss and who knew what else. For the next four days she would take the drugs at home, then take a break for four weeks. The next treatment would be given as a patient in the hospital so her blood cell count could be monitored and to be sure she had recovered from the last treatment. If the blood count was not high enough, the chemo might be delayed for a few days. If all the treatments went well, it would take about eight months to complete.

Jack stood looking out the window of the waiting room as the door opened and Sam came out carrying a small bag.

"You okay?"

"So far. Let's get home before I start feeling the effects since we're not sure what will happen the first time" she said as she took his arm.

When they got home, Sam went to lie down. Her doctor had given her a bottle of medicine to help with the nausea she was already experiencing, so she swallowed one of the pills as Jack handed her a glass of water.

"You feel like eating? It's lunch time."

"I think I'll wait awhile. You go ahead" she said as she closed her eyes.

Jack wandered around the house for awhile and decided to make himself some lunch. He had just opened a cabinet door when he heard Sam yell for him and he went into the bedroom as fast as he could.

"I'm feeling really nauseous, Jack, I think I'm going to be sick."

He helped her stand up and he wrapped his arm around her waist as they went into the bathroom. She sat down on the side of the bathtub and leaned over the commode as she started vomiting.

Jack waited with his hand on her shoulder. When she felt she had finished, he got a washcloth and ran cold water over it and handed it to her. She ran the washcloth over her face and mouth and handed it back to him. He threw it into the clothes hamper and then turned and wet another one as he helped Sam stand up. She lay back down on the bed and Jack sat down beside her and put the washcloth to her forehead.

Their eyes met.

"You okay, honey?"

Sam could see the concern in his brown eyes.

"For now" she said as she took the washcloth from her forehead and held it to her cheeks.

"I'll go get a trash can. You can use it if you feel you can't make it to the bathroom" Jack said as he went into the kitchen. He found a trash bag, put it in the trash can and brought it back and sat it down beside the bed.

"Thank you."

"Sure. I know you probably don't have much of an appetite, Sam, but you do need to eat sometime. You need to keep your strength up."

"I know. I promise I will later. I just want to close my eyes for awhile."

"Okay" he said as he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Yell if you need me."

Sam closed her eyes and he stood there for a few moments just staring at her.

Sam heard Jack leave the room. She opened her eyes and slowly turned on her side and stared at the wall as her tears wet the pillow.

Jack went into the kitchen but realized he had lost his appetite. He sat down on the sofa, propped up his feet on the coffee table and leaned his head back on the sofa as he stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, then slowly closed his eyes.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

For the next three days, Sam took the medicine and every time it made her sick.

Jack sat on the side of the bed holding her hand after another round of vomiting, when the doorbell rang, so he got up to see who it was.

"Hi" Melanie said as he opened the door.

"Hey. Come in."

They went into the bedroom and Melanie sat down by Sam. She could see how pale she was and Jack left the room as they began to talk.

"Do you need me to change the bandage?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Jack has been changing it but you can see if it's healing like it should."

Jack came back into the room.

"Melanie, if you don't have to rush off, could you stay with Sam for awhile?"

"Sure" Melanie answered.

"Where are you going, Jack?" Sam asked.

"Just out. I'll be back soon."

"Take your time" Melanie said as she smiled at him.

They heard Jack close the front door as Melanie went to the bathroom to get a new bandage. She returned and sat down as Sam pulled back her robe.

"Okay, now that Jack has left, you want to tell me how you're really feeling?"

Tears came to her eyes. "Not so good. The drugs make me sick, I have no energy or appetite and this morning after I took a quick shower, I was combing my hair and some of it came out in my hand."

"We'll have to buy you a wig" Melanie said with a grin. "Have you ever thought about becoming a redhead?"

Sam laughed. "No, but that's an idea."

"I'm not making light of the situation, Sam, just trying to help you smile a little."

"I know and I appreciate it. Hasn't been much in the last week to smile about. I'm so worried about Jack, Melanie. He tries to be positive but I can tell that this ordeal is already getting to him."

"It's just because he loves you so much" Melanie said as she squeezed Sam's hand.

"And this is just the first time I've had to take the drugs. Doing this seven more times, I don't know . . ." she trailed off as she started to cry.

Melanie moved closer to Sam and wrapped her arms around her.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Jack sat in the parking lot and stared at the building. The only times he had been in a place like this was for weddings and funerals.

He got out of the car and slowly walked up the sidewalk until he reached the front door and put his hand on the doorknob and pushed. There was no one around so he walked inside and started up the aisle and got about half way, then sat down on a padded bench. He took off his cap and laid it beside him.

The afternoon sun was streaming through the windows as he sat there thinking.

He had never been a religious man, but sometimes when your world was caving in, you did things that you normally would not do and you reached out to grab hold of anything that would help keep your sanity.

He cleared his throat and began to speak.

"I've never been a praying man, God, and I really don't feel worthy to ask this of you. I know I've done some atrocious things in my lifetime, things that you would probably never forgive me for. But I'm not here to ask your forgiveness. I'm here because the one person in this world that I can't live without is slowly being taken from me. She's my world" he said as tears ran down his cheeks. "From the moment I laid eyes on her, I loved her. We waited so long to be together. After all these years, I still don't understand how such a beautiful, smart, sweet and kind woman loves me. Even knowing everything that she knows about me, she accepted me like I was and loved me in spite of it all, and we made two great kids. Since I'm a lot older than she is, I always thought I'd be the one to go first. I'm just asking you for this one miracle. Please don't let her die. Please take me first. She has a family that needs her, grandchildren that adore her and a husband that loves her and simply can't live without her. I've never asked for anything before, but please, God, just this once. That's all I ask."

Jack put his elbows on his knees and sobbed into his hands. In a few minutes, he reached into his pocket to get a handkerchief and he wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned quickly to see who was there.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to startle you" the man said as Jack stood up. "I'm Steve Hadley. I'm the pastor here" he said as he offered his hand and Jack raised his hand to shake his.

"Jack O'Neill."

"I was here to get something from my office when I noticed the door was open and I heard you talking. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but you sounded pretty upset. Your wife is sick, if I understand correctly. Is there anything I can do?"

"If you have a miracle cure for cancer, then yes, you can help."

"Well, I'm sorry I don't, but I will pray for her. What's her name?"

"Samantha, but everyone calls her Sam."

"A beautiful name."

"She's a beautiful lady. On the inside as well as the outside" Jack said as he picked up his cap and stuck his handkerchief back in his pocket.

"Does she know you're here?"

Jack grinned. "She would faint from shock if she knew I had walked through the doors of a church."

"Not a churchgoing guy?"

"No. But I'm desperate. I'll do anything if it will keep her alive."

"Well, Mr. O'Neill, God sometimes works in mysterious ways."

"Yeah, well, we'll see. I need to go. Nice to meet you" Jack said.

"Nice to meet you too, sir" Mr. Hadley said as the two men walked out of the church together and he watched Jack drive away.

Before he went home, Jack went by a florist and bought Sam a dozen pink roses. Buying the flowers would be his excuse if she asked where he had been.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

A few months passed and Sam seemed to be doing as well as could be expected. Jack noticed that she never quite got her appetite back, but Sam never had been a big eater. She seemed to tire very easily and she had lost weight.

The fourth round of chemo was to be administered at the hospital so they could check her blood count.

Jack sat beside her and held her hand as they administered the drugs.

Dr. West, Sam's oncologist, came by to see her.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. O'Neill?"

"Very tired and my back hurts."

"Since when?" the doctor asked as he looked at her chart.

"Awhile now."

"Why didn't you mention it to me?" Jack asked.

"It's no big deal" she said as she smiled at him.

"I'm going to run a few tests while you're here and I'd like to keep you over night" the doctor said.

Jack and Sam looked at each other.

"If you think it's really necessary" Sam said.

"Just some x-rays and a few more tests. I'll schedule them right away so you can go home tomorrow after they're done."

After the doctor had left the room, Jack turned to Sam.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

"No, honey. I want you to go home and sleep in our own bed so you can be comfortable. I'll be okay until you can come get me tomorrow."

Jack stayed with Sam until she started to feel sleepy. Then he stood from his chair and kissed her.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too, honey" she said as she smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Jack came into the house, turned on the light and realized how quiet it was. He slowly walked into their bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed and laid back and stared at the ceiling as he spoke out loud.

"You know that miracle I asked you for, God? Now would be a good time to have it."

The doorbell rang so he got up to see who it was. He opened the door to find Daniel on his doorstep.

"Hi, Jack" he said with a grin.

"Daniel" Jack said as he held open the door. Jack closed the door and the two men shook hands then went into the living room.

"I came by to see how Sam is" Daniel said as he sat down on the sofa.

"She's at the hospital. She had a treatment today and the doctor wanted to keep her overnight."

"Is she okay?"

"She complained of her back hurting so he wanted to run some tests, so we'll find out tomorrow what they find out."

Jack watched as Daniel ran his hand through his gray hair.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. My doctor has me on a new drug for Alzheimer's that has been showing good results, so we'll see how I react to it."

Jack nodded his head. "Hope it works well for you."

"Me too."

Daniel could see how tired and thin Jack looked.

"How are you holding up?"

Jack took a deep breath and ran his hand over his face. "I'm not sure. I hate seeing Sam like this. Almost everything she eats comes right back up when she's having the treatments. She doesn't have much of an appetite. She's tired and has lost weight. The doctor told us to expect this to happen, but it's hard to watch the person you love most in the world go through this. I know she's trying to be brave for my sake, but this is really rough on both of us."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I wish there was something I could do."

"Me too, Daniel, me too."

"How about I take you out to eat?" Daniel offered. "It would probably do you good to get out of the house and I'd enjoy the company."

"Sure, why not. So you're still allowed to drive?"

"So far, yes. Right now, I just tend to forget small things. If it gets to the point I think I'd be a danger to myself or others, I'll quit driving, or my doctor will tell me to stop driving. But for now, that hasn't happened yet."

The two friends went to eat and enjoyed reminiscing.

Daniel drove Jack back to his house.

"I have an idea" Jack said as Daniel stopped the car.

"What's that?"

"Why don't you stay here tonight and you can go with me to see Sam in the morning. She would love to see you."

"I guess I could, although I didn't bring any clothes with me."

"Wear what you've got on. Nobody will know but me."

"I'd like that" Daniel said as the two men got out of the car and went inside the house.

They sat and talked awhile until Daniel started to yawn.

"You know where the guest room and the bathroom are, so make yourself at home."

"Okay. I think I'll go to bed."

"Me too, been a long day. I'll see you in the morning."

Jack went into the bedroom and closed the door and changed into his pajamas. He got into bed and reached over to Sam's side of the bed. He pulled her pillow to him and wrapped his arms around it. He could smell the combination of her shampoo and her favorite body lotion that she always used after she had showered. He realized how much he missed not having her there beside him as he choked back the tears.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Jack entered Sam's room. She was talking to one of the nurses.

"Hi" Jack said as he leaned over to give her a kiss.

"Hey" Sam grinned.

"Look who I found" Jack said as he stepped out of the way and Sam could see Daniel behind him.

"Daniel, it's so good to see you" Sam said as Daniel smiled and gave her a hug.

They pulled up chairs beside the bed and were talking when Dr. West came into the room carrying some papers and looking rather solemn.

"Doc, something wrong?" Jack asked.

"We have your x-rays and test results back, Mrs. O'Neill. There is no easy way to tell you this."

Jack and Sam looked at each other and Daniel stared at the doctor.

"I'm afraid you have metastatic breast cancer. It has spread to your bones. That's why your back is hurting. I want to start you on two different drugs. Tamoxifen and Taxol. These drugs have shown to be two of the best."

Sam felt as if she couldn't breathe and Jack squeezed her hand.

Sam gathered her courage and looked at her doctor. "What are the percentages that these medicines will help?"

"About a 50 chance. Mrs. O'Neill, we have to take into consideration how long you have had cancer, your age, general health and lifestyle. No two women are alike so you may have good results."

"And if I don't?" Sam said as she clinched her jaw.

The doctor didn't answer.

"I want to know if I'm going to die from this, doctor" she said as she raised her voice.

"I don't know."

Sam lay back and stared at the wall.

"May I go home?"

"I will have one of the nurses bring you the prescriptions and I'll sign your release papers. I'm so sorry" Dr. West said as he left the room.

Daniel looked at his two best friends. Jack sat so still, Daniel couldn't even see him breathing as he stared at the floor.

"Jack?"

He turned his head and looked into Sam's eyes.

"Take me home, please."

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Sam sat in the front seat and Jack in the back as Daniel drove them to the drug store to fill the prescriptions and then took them home.

They reached the house and Daniel got out of the car and went around to the passenger side. He watched Jack help Sam stand up as she held the bag containing the medicine in one hand and her cane in the other.

"I need to be going" Daniel said, knowing they needed to be alone right now.

Sam smiled at Daniel and he embraced her and held on to her for several moments. He let go and Sam turned to Jack without looking back at him.

"Thanks for the ride, Daniel" Jack said as Daniel hugged him.

"You're welcome" he said as he let go and they watched Sam walk up the sidewalk.

"Please call me if there is anything I can do" he said as he looked once more at Sam. "I love her too, Jack. She's like a sister to me so I want to help if I can."

"Thanks."

Daniel got into his car and drove away as Jack caught up to Sam and he unlocked the door to let them inside.

Sam went into the bedroom and on into the bathroom. Jack stood in the doorway of the bedroom and waited. Sam came out of the bathroom and stopped. She suddenly picked up a small clock that was sitting on the dresser and hurled it across the room and it shattered as it hit the wall.

She slowly slid down the doorframe to the floor and began to wail as Jack rushed to her and knelt down in front of her. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her to him with all the strength he had. Sam put her arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest as he ran his hands up and down her back and tears ran down his cheeks.

Sam was crying so hard she was shaking.

"I don't want to die, Jack, I don't want to die. Not like this. I don't want to waste away to nothing."

Like so many other times in his life, he didn't know the right words to say to this woman that he loved so much.

They held on to each other as they cried together, until Sam finally relaxed and pulled back from Jack. They looked at each other and slowly stood from the floor and sat down on the bed.

Jack reached back and propped a pillow against the headboard. He scooted up to lean against it, then pulled Sam to him and wrapped her in his arms and she put her head on his chest. They sat in silence for several minutes as they both tried to deal with their churning emotions.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For the temper tantrum."

"Sam, I've been wanting to do something like that since we found out you have cancer. I've just wanted to punch something or someone because this is happening to you, so don't apologize."

Sam raised her head from his chest and looked into his eyes.

"We can't give up yet, Sam. I want you to take the medicine and see if it helps. I'm not going to let you give up. You have to fight this. I know this won't be easy but we have to do everything we can to see if it will make you better."

"I know. I'm glad I have you to help me through this. I couldn't do this without you."

"In sickness and in health, Sam. That was one of our wedding vows, remember? I'll be here for you. Always. I promise."

TBC