Keep Your Nungas Front And Centre
By MudbloodAndProud (Rachel)
This story is dedicated to my very own Ace Gang. You do me proud girls.
DISCLAIMER: Georgia Nicholson is a legend in her own right. I am just having fun with her. Anything you recognise belongs to Louise Rennison.
10 seconds later
Saved by the Herr!
I never thought there would be a time when Herr Kamyer could look heavenly.
30 seconds later
I take that back, just saw him in short shorts pyjamas. I have been scarred for life. I may never be able to look at legs properly again.
10 minutes later
Herr Kamyer has sent us to our tents and scared the boys away (possibly with his furry knees). He was about to go all adult-ish and responsible on us, but was too tired to lecture. So here we are all snuggled up and nice.
2 minutes later
I can't believe Dave just ignored me and ran away. He could have said goodbye. Hmph. I will have to eschew him with a firm hand when I see him again.
1 minute later
Although every time I do we seem to end up snogging.
1 minute later
I can't help it that I'm irresistible.
2 minutes later.
Maybe Massimo and Dave can have a fight off like the Hamburgese did when they rode horses.
Save me the trouble.
5 minutes later
Oh holy beard, I cannot sleep. This Dave the Laugh fandango is going to give me eye bags. I may have to steal some more of Mutti's cream. I am, after all, in the prime of my life.
3 minutes later
Everything is just running around my head, I will never sleep at this state…
zzzzzz…
Next morning
6:50am
Blimey O'Reilley's trousers, I feel like my head's about to fall off. Miss Wilson decided to wake us all up by singing her rendition of 'Auld Lang Syne'.
I don't know who thought her the song, but they are obviously either deaf or mad.
2 minutes later
I had a dream that I was getting married to Masimo. At first everything was groovy and everything. He looked so marvy and Luuurve Goddy standing at the altar next to me. I could see his cat eyes and they were all crinkled up and beautiful.
Then I realised that I was wearing a veil so I couldn't see properly; everything was blurry. In front of me was a huge orange in glasses playing the guitar. It turned out to be Call-me-Arnold the vicar in a kaftan playing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from The Life of Brian.
A voice behind me said, "Oy, don't look now but your gay husband-to-be has got a handbag." And I turned round to see Dave the Laugh dressed in a pink dress and carrying a bouquet. That is because he was my bridesmaid!!
I was just about to say to him, "At least he isn't wearing a lipstick like you!" when Masimo reached across and lifted up my veil.
I puckered up for the biggus snoggus, but he was looking below my mouth and saying, "Georgia, you have... how do you say... no chin."
And that's when Miss Wilson started singing.
2 minutes later
What does that mean?
Is Dave the Laugh a lesbian?
Or should I get botox in my chin?
30 seconds later
Why must I be so mad?
5 minutes later
Hahahahahahaha.
Herr Kamyer is not punishing us!
He came over to us and started lecturing us, but then Jools said 'Are you gonna tell Hawkeye then?' (but obviously in a more polite adult language)
And Herr started going all red. I thought he was choking, and was scared that I had to perform the Heimlich maneuver, girl of many talents that I am.
But it turns out, that Herr Kamyer is scared of getting in trouble with Hawkeye! Clearly, we are not the only one she terrorizes.
This means that we get off Scott free!
Success!
7:35am
Tents are hopeless. Ro-Ro, Jools and I cannot possibly pack one up. It is quite literally impossible. Miss Wilson keeps coming over and reminding us that the bus is coming soon.
2 minutes later
Jas has already finished. I asked her politely if she could help us.
'Jas, you know that you are my bestest friend in the world and I love you in a non-lesbian way?'
'Yes…'
'Will you pack up our tent for us?'
'No.'
Typico.
7:50am
Yes, yes and double yes!
The tent is folded and done. It wouldn't fit in the tiny bag though, and Miss Wilson had to lend us her jacket so we could wrap the poles in it.
But as I always say, its not how you do it, but the fact that we did.
Viking Inferno Disco for VICTORY!!
3 minutes later
Jas is so immature. She wouldn't join in with our HORRRNness. Instead, she went off for some last-minute newt spotting.
8:00am
We are on the bus back to civilization! I am sooooo happy. I may even be looking forward to seeing Mutti and Vatti…maybe, anyway.
10 minutes later
Bus Elvis is being ridiculously cranky. He shouted at us, just because we were dancing the Viking Inferno. We didn't even stand up, just used our arms and legs while keeping our bottoms on the seat. But now he keeps glaring at us like two glaring things.
2 minutes later
It is starting to scare me.
2 hours later
We are home!! Finally!!
As I got off the bus, I even said 'Thank you!' to Bus Elvis. He just grunted at me. How that is part of the English language, I do not know.
5 minutes later
Very surprised to see that the Loon parents have actually turned up. Late, but at least they got the right day.
2 minutes later
Something very amazing has happened. A Mrs Herr Kamyer has turned up! With a titchy tiny baby Herr Kamyer!! We knew because they were all wearing the same glasses. Herr Kamyer scampered over to them and they all lurched off together. It was rather cute, if you like that sort of thing.
Ro Ro was gazing at them as they lolloped off in matching slacks, and then she said, "You do know what this means, don't you?"
The Ace Gang nodded like the wise nodding things that we are. Then Ellen said, "Er... no, erm, I mean... well, what does it mean?"
And Ro Ro said the hideous words: "Herr Kamyer has got to Number Ten."
I feel a bit sick.
Author's Note: WOW!! 7 reviews on the first chapter! You have no idea how happy that makes me. Thanks also goes to TrampyMouse, Daughter Of The Slaughter, lady.lily.of.tattisdale and jenlov3 for favouriting me! You guys help fuel my self esteem ;)
I wrote this at 11pm, so I am actually quite proud of how it turned out. Sorry it took so long to update!
Review!! You know you want to!
Kisses! (non-lesbianish, of course)