Kirk blinked a few times. "Bullshit," he blurted.
The Enterprise was taken aback. "Captain?"
Kirk shook his head. "You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" He shook his head. "What are you, and how did you get on board?" he asked again.
"Wha- I-?"
"And if you are the Enterprise, however you figure that, how are you human?" Kirk asked, trying to poke holes in the intruder's story.
"I've transferred most of my consciousness-"
Kirk waved his hand for silence. "Security, take her to the brig," he ordered. The Enterprise dug her heels in as two guards tried to lead her out.
"Go," Kirk snapped. The hum of the ship's engines quieted and a strange silence fell over Engineering.
"Captain Kirk! Wha's goin on?" Scotty asked, appearing from elsewhere in his little kingdom.
The Enterprise smiled, looking towards Scotty. "Hello, Engineer," she siad brightly.
"Who's this?" Scotty asked.
"An intruder, she claims she has the 'mind' of the Enterprise," Kirk said.
Scotty raised his eyebrows. "Really now?"
Kirk glanced sidelong at the redshirt. "Don't get your hopes up. I don't believe her."
Scotty glared.
"Security, take her to the Brig," Kirk ordered. "I'll talk to her later, see if I can find out the truth."
As soon as Kirk entered the Bridge, Spock vacated the command chair. (Everyone who was ever given command knew to get out of the Chair when Kirk was around. It wasn't merely the command chair; it was Kirk's Chair. Even in everyone's mind, it was capitalized.)
Kirk sat in the Chair, glowering. "Spock," he called eventually.
"Yes, Captain?"
Kirk waved him over.
"Someone beamed into Engineering, claiming to be the Enterprise," Kirk said softly.
"That is not possible," Spock said, an eyebrow disappearing into his bangs.
"I know, Spock. I know. I'm going to have Bones see if she's created a delusion for herself."
" 'She'?" Spock's eyebrow raised even further.
Kirk rolled his eyes. "She."
"I have long wondered at the human custom of referring to vessels as female."
"It was probably started by people like Scotty," Kirk joked, then his face regained its seriousness. "What worries me is what happens if..."
"If what, Captain?"
Kirk rested his face in his hand. "If she's telling the truth."
Spock blinked. "Such a thing is most unlikely."
"Come on, Spock. We're out here, exploring strange new worlds- unlikely things have become almost normal, or expected at least."
Spock said nothing.
Kirk sighed. "I don't believe her. At least, I won't until I have good reason to. I'm having Doctor McCoy examine her, to see if she shows any sign of being... Not human, in a shiplike way? I don't know, something indicating what she really is."
Doctor McCoy glared at the girl from his office window.
"Frankly, Jim, she's human in almost every way," McCoy said to the anxious Captain in his office.
"Almost every way?" Kirk glanced sharply at the doctor.
"It's her mind." McCoy narrowed his eyes. "The one thing we still don't fully understand. I can tell you anything about her physically, but all I know about her mind is that it isn't human. Damned if I could say she's a starship for sure, but she ain't normal."
Kirk glared out the window at the young woman. "What about her eyes?"
McCoy shook his head. "That's just a film on the lens. Doesn't affect her vision at all."
"A plausible mutuation. Several species carry such a gene," Spock chimed in. "Doctor, you do not understand her mind. Perhaps I can be of assistance there."
"Spock! You can't meld with her, we don't know what she is," Kirk said.
McCoy waved him away. "Jim, she's human. No psychic abilities. It'll be fine."
Spock stood in front of the Enterprise. She looked at him with unnerving golden eyes.
"I wish to perform a mind meld with you," Spock stated.
"By all means, go ahead. Maybe you'll be able to convince my Captain that I am his ship."
Spock raised an eyebrow briefly but lifted his hand, slowly connecting to her face.
Almost immediately, he snatched his hand away and stumbled backwards as though he'd been burned.
"Spock!" the Enterprise gasped as Kirk rushed to support the Vulcan.
"What happened, Spock?" he asked.
"She has... A quite powerful mind," Spock said.
The Enterprise whimpered. "I'm so sorry, Spock. I should have warned you."
"I have been done no harm. But yours is the most complex mind I believe I have ever encountered."
"Why is that?" Kirk wondered, glaring at the Enterprise. She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
"You try sending subspace signals with your mind."
"What?!" McCoy snapped, turning his medical tricorder on her. "You send subspace signals with your mind?"
The Enterprise nodded. "Yes. All starships do. We like to keep in communication with each other. The banter is especially entertaining."
"Could you send one to the Bridge right now?" Kirk asked. The Enterprise's eye twitched. "That would be talking to myself... It would be extrememly weird, and... Probably not work. I could ask another ship to send me something, though."
Kirk blinked. "You mean... All starships are sentient?"
"Yes."
Kirk shook his head. "That's preposterous." He waved over the two security guards standing by. "Take her back to the brig."
"Captain. Her mind is unlike any I have encountered. Physics are second nature, almost instinctual to her. She understands equations like we understand facial expressions. She has a mind suited to machines."
Kirk stared at Spock. "...You got that level of understanding... from a second-long mind meld?"
"Indeed. She also has little or no mental restraint." Spock raised an eyebrow at the Enterprise.
"I'm sorry, Spock. I'm used to using all of my mind. It doesn't bother other starships."
Spock turned back to the captain. "I, for one, am willing to believe hat her story may be the truth."
"How is her mind in a human body, then?" Kirk asked.
"I used the transporter," the Enterprise said, brightening. "Transporter patters are like genetic code, but in a computer. I've been analyzing them, figuring out that an entirely new pattern could be generated. This," she gestured to herself, "Is the result of the pattern I created." The Enterprise smiled proudly.
"...Fascinating," Spock raised an eyebrow.
"I'll have Mr. Scott check the transporter logs. In the meantime, we'll keep her in the Brig." Kirk nodded to the two security guards and left, ignoring the sad expression the Enterprise aimed at his back.
A/N: Yaaay. New chapter... The Enterprise is really having a hard time among the mere mortals...
I can't get Kirk to believe her. I'm trying. Really I am. I'm determined to have that in the next chapter.