Eh... I hate it.

I Miss Him
Rating: K+
Words: 1,531

Kensi gripped hard on the dash as Deeks took a sharp turn – her first day back and they were already in a car chase, just what she needed! More stress on top of the factor she was going to be late at the day care feeding Jacob.

Finally an LAPD squad car stopped the vehicle they were in purist of and they got out, guns drawn. Deeks went to the driver's side and opened it, pulling the guy out and throwing him against the side of the car. "Bad move" He said, putting his gun back in his holster and grabbing his cuffs, Kensi still had her gun trained onto the guy's head until the cuffs were firmly clamped around his wrists.

Kensi lowered her gun as Deeks pulled him off the car, leading him to the squad vehicle.

"Hey, lady" The driver says.

Kensi looked around to him and Deeks stopped, noticing what the criminal had noticed. "Kens.."

"What?"

"Your boobs are leaking lady" he laughed.

Kensi blushed in pure embarrassment and clamped her arms around her chest. Deeks quickly passed off the guy to the LAPD squad people and ran over to her, taking off his zip-up hoodie and put it round her fast – zipping it up to cover the wet patched around the centre of her breasts.

"I should have just stuck to wearing that damn nursing bra" she cursed as she got back into the car. "Especially with the stress and knowing about the possibility of being late."

"Kensi, it's okay, it happens to a lot of women – and if he hadn't noticed I would have, I'm sure the people at the day care will understand and let you change your shirt before going into the main room.

Kensi smiled. "I guess so – it's natural – right?"

"Completely" He pecked her quickly before starting the car back up. "Have you got a nursing bra with you?"

"Yeah, I have one in my go-bag in case of something happening to this one whilst feeding. I just wanted to wear a normal bra for once, instead of one that required me wearing a sweatshirt due to it making my breasts look boxy."

"It's okay Kensi, look, you're beautiful and you've just had a baby 8 weeks ago, nobody cares what new mothers look like."

"I care, Deeks. I still have all this excess weight to lose, I feel so uncomfortable, my body feels so unnatural"

"Kensi, I don't know what to say." He paused. "I'm sure what has just happened, all of the mothers in there have experienced."

"Chased a suspect at high speed, been so stressed her breasts leaked and have the suspect point it out to her? Yeah, I'm sure that's what brings the mothers together at play dates"

"You know what I meant" He smiled.

"I know"

"Why don't you ask Nell if you an her can have a few hours just to do girl stuff over the weekend, go to a spa, go shopping, get you nails done. Do whatever you two do for fun, I can watch Jake."

Kensi raised an eyebrow at him. "You think me and Nell go to spa's for fun? How long have you known me?"

"Six years..." He was internally punching himself.

"And how long have we been together?"

"2 years"

"Right, then, have you ever known me to go to a spa with Nell?"

"No..." Ouch, low hit to his abdomen, he should have known better than to suggest girly things.

"And one last question..."

'No, no more questions!' Deeks' insides called.

"Where was the last place me and Nell went together?"

"Baby clothes shopping...?"

"Before that"

"... Sky diving."

"Mmhmm." She looked away from him as he continued driving towards the day care. Kensi shot a text off to ops to remind them that they were dropping by the day care because she had to feed Jacob.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence. Only when they parked up did Kensi sprout a smile and look over to Deeks, rushing out of the car.

Deeks had to run around the car, locking it as he ran to catch up with Kensi – boy she had really missed Jacob.

She ran into the building and flashed her 'Parent badge to the desk before running to the door.

Deeks ran in behind her and apologized to the woman, saying it was Kensi's first day away from the baby and she missed him so much.

The receptionist just smiled and said it was normal, so he followed in Kensi's footsteps, down the halls to the infantry.

Deeks finally spotted Kensi who was already in a soft looking chair, holding a bundle in her arms. He smiled brightly and walked over to her.

"You're not feeding him yet?" He asked as he sat on the less comfortable 'daddy' seat beside it.

"I wanted to wait for you" she smiled. Jacob looked confused and punched the air as he saw his parents, smiling toothlessly and moving his tongue around.

"He's hungry" Deeks smiled.

"Yeah" Kensi smiled back. Both of them were completely aware they were not the only ones there, and not to be ashamed about this.

Kensi handed Jacob to Deeks quickly before removing her jacket, turning the chair around so it was facing the mural on the wall – sure it was natural but Kensi still felt uncomfortable about the amount of men there, she knew she would get used to it eventually.

Deeks passed Jacob back just had she had finished pulling up her shit and pulling down her bra, as soon as Jacob latched Deeks put the nursing blanket around Kensi, covering the baby and her breasts and spinning the chair back round.

She still found the sensation of the suckling amazing, painful at times, but still amazing – Knowing her son got all his meals from her.

Deeks smiled and stroked Kensi's hair slowly as their son fed – he always admired how Kensi was able to do this – he also always felt like he was missing out on something big because he didn't have breasts, he couldn't wait until Jacob moved onto bottles or even solids because he wants to know what it feels like to feed his son.

Kensi smiled up at Deeks as she pulled the nursing blanket down slightly, feeling that Jacob had finished.

Deeks noticed and grabbed her go-bag ready for her to take to the bathroom to change.

After saying goodbye to Jacob Kensi and Deeks got back in the car, it took all of Kensi's willpower to not just call Hetty and take the rest of the day off – she wondered if this is what it feels like for all new mommies. Of course it would feel like this to everybody. She worried for the child whose mother wasn't sad to see it go.

"We'll see him later Kens' It will get easier, I promise"

"It will never get easier" She sighed. "He's our baby, I will never feel comfortable, I'll never not miss him, and if it's easy for you to leave him there then I want to know what the hell is wrong with you" She said defensively.

"Whoa, Kensi. I did NOT mean it like that, I will never be happy with leaving him, I'm just saying, slowly you will be happy with leaving him with them"

Kensi exhaled and sat up straight. "I'm sorry, I knew that, it's just I'm stressed, emotional—"

"You don't need to explain yourself Kens, Don't worry, I understand."

A/N: So it's pretty short, but yeah. OMG IT LET ME UPLOAD THIS.

Whenever I have time, I MIGHT write a epilogue for this... MIIIGHTTT.

Oh god I have like 5 fanfics to upload (When it stopped letting me update I stopped writing, not seeing much point in it) So yeah, Hopefully it will let me upload those as well :) (Two aren't NCIS:LA .. One is Fringe and one is Hawaii Five-0)

So yeah, WWWOOOOPPPP.

PRETTY PLEASE WITH A BIG BIG CHERRY ON TOP – REVIEW :D

-LJ x