Chapter 2

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She had been planning this night for weeks now. Every detail had to work out perfectly. She realised she was also just delaying the inevitable. She had to do several things for her plan to work.

First she had to talk to her grandmother. The Dowager Countess was a hard nut to crack. Not only had she been quiet happy with how everything had gone and the families name was still well, but she was also miffed about the big detour Edith had chosen, with going to Switzerland, coming back, moping around had than go back to the continent to get Grace and place her in Mr Drewe's care. Edith had argued that it was the right thing to do at the time, but she couldn't keep the secret any longer and Violet relented. She would support Edith in talking down Robert when he flipped out. And Edith was very grateful.

Second Edith went to London to visit Rosamund. Her aunt wasn't very amused, that she had spent 8 months and a lot of money to help Edith to keep it all a secret just for her to go back on her word. Edith tried to explain to her how inconsolable she had been and that her life couldn't continue that way. Edith also told her that she needn't come and be there when she told her parents, but that it would be great if she had a place to stay for a while, if her parents did cast her out. Rosamund agreed to Edith, but told her before she left that she could be at Downton in half a day and that she should call if she needed her. Edith gave her a hug and thanked her again for all her help and love.

Third she had to talk with Mr and Mrs Drewe, who were the nicest people and agreed to help wherever they could. She just told them to wait for her sign, she'd sent someone when if her parents wanted to see Grace or come herself if she had to leave.

Last, she had to talk to Mrs Hughes, who was supposed to keep all servants out of the drawing room after dinner. Edith didn't want people enter and leave all the time; it would just make her nervous. She also agreed to keep Mr Carson in check, because she was the only one, besides Lord Grantham, who could.

Around noon she announced, that she would want to talk to everybody after dinner, to which Mary just rolled her eyes, her parents seemed indifferent and Tom was the only one to smile and inquire what she wanted to talk to them about.

"Thank you for inquiring Tom, you will understand in due time."

"Fine, if you need anything, let me know."

"There is actually one thing." Edith said and lowered her voice. "If I were you, I'd have at least one drink during dinner." She said and winked at him, what made Tom look at her surprised.

Then he smiled and saluted playfully "Your wish is my command!" he said and they both laughed.

I'm not alone in this. I can do this.

Dinner was a horrible affair for Edith. Her parents made mundane small talk, her sister seemed bored, but shot glances in Edith direction every once in a while, as if she was trying to guess what she was about to be told. And Tom tried to be polite and went along with her pointer and drank two glasses of wine.

"Edith dear, do you think your announcement will take long? I don't have all night." Mary said in a sweet voice, which Edith knew to be fake and especially reserved for her.

"My announcement itself won't take long, Mary. If you wish to leave afterwards, you are welcome." Edith answered calmly. Her steady voice threw Mary off, because she stopped talking after her question was answered.

After dinner they went into the drawing room and the men refrained from having their usual men talk at the dinner table, for the sake of Edith announcement.

"Now we are all gathered, my dear, what do you have to tell us?" Cora asked her daughter.

Edith was very nervous and kept clenching and unclenching her fist. Her heart was beating faster than ever before. This was the moment of truth, it would change her whole world.

"The time has come that I tell you all what has been plaguing me this last year and what happened while I was away and before. I would be glad if you could all let me tell the story first and tell me what you think after."

She looked at everybody and her family, all except Violet were eager to hear what she had to say.

"Granny Violet knows what has been going on, but please be kind to her, she had no choice in the matter." All eyes went to the senior in the room.

"I should start at the beginning and, I guess, that is the day Anthony left me. The following months I was heartbroken. I never thought I would find a husband in my life and when I found one and he jilted me, all my last shreds of hope for a happy life ran away with him. It didn't help, that many of you had a hand in his departure."

Again, she paused to gauge everyone's reaction. Some looked guilty, others indifferent.

"When I got the job at The Sketch, another man came into my life, who adored me, loved me and wanted to marry me."

This time all eyes shot open.

"Yes, he wanted to marry me, but the real problem was that he was already married. His wife had been in an asylum for over a decade and because of the British law, he was not able to divorce her. She was an innocent party and any judge would have declined his appeal."

Lord Grantham stood up. "But Edith, he was married? Why would you…" he started saying, but his mother interrupted him. "Robert, I am sure she had her reasons, please listen or do I have to ground you?" she said and he rolled his eyes, but complied and took his seat once again.

Now Edith stood up, sitting wasn't an option anymore, with how nervous she was.

"He researched quite a bit how he could get a divorce from his wife, to be free for me and he eventually found it. If he were to become a German citizen, he could legally divorce her. That's why he went to Germany. He gave me a legal document to sign, giving me control over all his assets." She took a deep breath.

"This isn't easy." She said.

"It can't be that bad, tell us, my love." Her mother, Cora, said and leaned her head slightly to the side, something she did often when she talked to someone.

"Oh, but it is mama. A few weeks after I received the note that he went missing, I found out I was with child." She breathed out.

First, there was a deafening silence in the room, as if time stood still. Edith saw the wheels turning, her parents, sister and brother-in-law putting the pieces together. Her loss of appetite in the mornings, which they had accounted to her sadness over Gregson's disappearance, her stay abroad with aunt Rosamund to improve their French and her constant shadow of sadness that had followed her around.

Her father's mouth opened and closed, her mother had silent tears in her eyes, Mary sat shell-shocked and Tom almost seemed relieved, as if he was happy for her to finally be rid of the burden. After a couple of slow, torturing seconds or minutes, it appeared Cora wanted to say something.

"What happened?" she asked, still trying to hide her tears.

"Aunt Rosamund found out, because I… I wanted to get rid of it, so she went with me to a man, who called himself a doctor in a back alley."

Mary and Cora gasped and covered their mouths with their hands. Robert looked to the floor, as if he wanted to blend her out.

"I couldn't go through with it though, so she made the offer to go to Switzerland with me and give the baby up for adoption. It was the safest bet at the time and because I already started to show, I had to take it. Granny got suspicious and called us out on it." Edith said and looked over to her grandmother, who examined her son and daughter-in-law closely.

"I was rather surprised I was the only one who found out. Really, the girl has a suitor, who vanishes and she decides to go the continent with her aunt." Violet said and waved her hand, the way she often did when someone had done or said something ridiculous.

"Typical Edith can't have the real thing and turns to an older, married man, only to not die a virgin." Mary said cruelly, but kind of mellow at the same time and Edith filed her spite under shock.

"Mary, stop it." Robert said and stood up. "For once you can behave yourself."

"Well I'm not the one who got pregnant out of wedlock." she started.

"No, but you could have once." He said and shocked everybody with is apparent taking of Edith's side for once.

Cora got up as well and walked over to Edith. "Edith, I would have been there for you! Why didn't you tell me?" she said softly and cupped Edith's cheeks with her hands.

"I think we all know why she didn't tell anyone in this room." Violet stated. "She couldn't be sure that she'd have your support."

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TBC