I Have a Large, Thick Sausage

Opening Note: First off, let me apologize for the title. Not the title itself, actually. I think it's amusing. But I apologize for anyone who is like me and feels somewhat chagrined at the thought of being caught reading a story with such a title. But the title is for my coworker, who once announced that his favorite part of the day was when someone ordered a large sausage pizza on thick crust so that he could call out, "I have a large, thick sausage". Yes, it's a little immature. But think of it as someone trying to bring something imaginative to their otherwise monotonous workday.

Disclaimer: I claim no legal rights to these characters. I do not even want to own legal rights to them. They give me enough trouble already.

Dedication: To the writers on FFnet who are, in my humble opinion, the best. There are very few. I can count them on one hand.

Two: O, Brother, Where Art Thou?

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

I groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over my head. Apparently, I had been correct in assuming that Sora's favorite cartoon was Spongebob. First thing he does is turn on the TV and find Nickelodeon. I'm so going to sue those freaks.

"Sora, would you please turn that down?" I slurred, burrowing further into the couch cushions. Last night, after calling Mom and confirming that Sora and I were actually related, Sora insisted we camp out in the living room. "It'll be a sleepover!" my hyper twin had exclaimed, crushing me in a huge hug. I was still in shock from learning I had another sibling to argue much. Sora helped me drag the spare mattress and a load of blankets into the living room and we made up our beds. At first I thought it would be awkward, but Sora was so high on energy (and probably coconuts) that he did most of the talking for both of us, and as the night wore on, I felt like I knew him. And like he knew me.

"Hey Roxas," he said once there was a commercial and the TV was back down to a suitable volume.

"What?"

"Are you gay?"

I sat up, choking on spit and possibly some of Pluto's hairs that were stuck to the couch. I stared wide-eyed at my near mirror image, blinking in shock at his innocent demeanor.

"I just thought," he continued, as though we were discussing a math problem involving train A and train B, "That since I am, and you're my twin, you must be. But maybe you're not, since we grew up apart?"

It took me a solid two minutes to form words.

"I. Am. Not."

"Oh." He didn't seem too disappointed. A flicker of a leprechaun's grin lit his smile. "Then who's Axel?"

Again, I found myself at a loss for words. I didn't recall mentioning Axel in all the time that I'd known Sora. Axel was my coworker. The assistant manager, to be specific. He was a freak who enjoyed messing with the ovens to "increase firepower" and hitting on anything that moved. Mainly me. He had the crazy idea that I was attracted to him. Jerk.

I explained all of this to Sora and then rolled back over into the couch, only just remembering that it was my Birthday. Our Birthday. I opened my mouth to wish Sora a happy one when he spoke again.

"If he's such a jerk, then why were you moaning his name in your sleep?"

I groaned inwardly and rolled over to face Sora. The truth was, I'd been having a dream where Axel threw me down on the cutting table (or was it the dough rolling table?) and had his way with me. There was alfredo sauce involved, now that I recall. And it didn't mean anything. Dreams like that were perfectly normal. It meant my hormones were up and running. I explained all of this to him, told him to get back to his cartoon, and once again, pulled the blankets over me, determined to forget that my first real conversation with my brother was about my sexual orientation.

"Happy Birthday, Roxas."

I sighed.

"Happy Birthday, Sora."

We'd been born in the middle of a military coup. That means the people overthrew their government. Namely, the people of the island overthrew their President. Some guy named Xemnas. Anyway, our parents were living on the island at the time. Mom was rushed to the hospital just before it was declared a sanctuary. A lot of people died in the streets that day by army officials on Xemnas' side, trying to get things back under control. Our dad was one of them. Meanwhile, Mom was in labor, and after we were born, she decided that she was going to take the next ferry to the mainland so we'd be safe. A lot of other women were doing the same thing. So as soon as she could walk, she arranged it. The whole place was being evacuated, and in the midst of all this, they mixed up Sora with some other kid. Mom knew it wasn't her baby, so in the chaos of everything, the hospital told her that he had died. Mom was sad, of course, but she took me and got us away from the island.

Sora was left behind with a handful of other kids, and when the coup ended, they were put into an orphanage, most of the paperwork proving who they were having been destroyed. Sora was adopted, and he grew up thinking his parents had died in the coup. I grew up never knowing I had a brother. Mom didn't want me to be sad. Eventually, Sora wanted to know the names of his real parents, and his adoptive father and mother helped him find the records. He visited dad's grave, but was overjoyed to see that Mom wasn't dead, after all. He did more research, and found me.

"Can I come with you?"

"What for?"

"Roxas," Sora protested, "We've been separated our whole lives! Now that I've found you, I want to spend every waking moment together!"

"You're starting to freak me out."

He pouted. "Please?"

I sighed. "Fine. But if you mention anything to Axel about this morning, you'll wish you were an only child."

"Thanks, Roxas!" he hugged me and went in search of his sandals. Probably being chewed up by Pluto.

I changed into my dark khaki work pants and purple shirt with "Sunset Plaza Pizzeria" embroidered on it. Sora, after chasing Pluto around the apartment for five minutes, finally got a hold of his other sandal, and we left. I didn't have a car and since Sora didn't have a skateboard, we elected to take the trolley. Sora loved it. He hung onto the bars at the back and hung over the edge, ignoring my warnings that he would fall and scrape his face off.

"Is making pizza fun?" he asked as we entered the place. There were a few customers sitting and watching a Blitzball match on TV. Some little kids in the back were fighting over the Gummi Ship Wars game, and Axel was taking a phone order.

Not waiting for my answer, Sora waltzed right up to the counter and folded his arms over the menu, favoring Axel with a sweet smile. Axel almost dropped the phone. Sora turned and winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"And who is this little angel?" Axel asked when he'd hung up.

"I'm Roxas's brother."

"I didn't know Roxas had a brother."

"Neither did he!" Sora said, laughing.

I didn't have time to wonder weather Sora and Axel getting along was a good thing. There were pizzas to make.

- The Writer