I have had enough of this. Padmé thought furiously as the COM link in her hand fell silent. Those wretched Jedi have no right. Again, she had been refused any access to or information about Anakin.
Dormé flinched violently when her mistress suddenly began to smash the offending object against the gleaming surface of her antique desk until it broke. The desk did not withstand the onslaught well. Still unsatisfied, Padmé hurled the unresponsive thing into the wall opposite, making a nasty dent.
There was a long silence, during which Dormé wished fervently, as she so often did now, that Anakin Skywalker had never crossed her mistress' path. She had never behaved this way before.
"Perhaps…"Dormé ventured hesitantly, "Perhaps the Chancellor would be able to help you get news of Anakin?" She didn't even like saying the boy's name out loud. But she loved Padmé and wanted to help. "He seems to have a good relationship with the Jedi."
"No." Padmé was certain that she didn't want to confide in Palpatine. She had enough serious issues to take up with that one without allowing him access to any personal vulnerability. "No," she said again.
That Jedi boy had left such trouble in his wake. Since his departure only a few days ago Padmé had seemed like another person. She was a bundle of energy and rarely slept. Periodically she would drift off with a faraway look in her eyes and lose track of what she was doing. She was moody. And most oddly of all, she was becoming illogical. More and more often she would base her responses and decisions on her feelings rather than the rational analysis that had always served her well. Just like now. Why wouldn't she trust the Chancellor with her problem? He had always been such a staunch supporter.
There was a hesitant tap on the door, and then it opened just as hesitantly. A tall young woman with light hair pulled back into a slightly untidy bun peeked around it, as though afraid to come in.
"Come on, Dellia, don't be shy," Padmé said in a friendly enough manner. Dormé began to breathe more comfortably now that her mistress was showing signs of behaving herself again. "You have every right to be here. You're supposed to be running this office."
Padmé's new secretary was young and relatively inexperienced, but seemed competent enough when she wasn't being bashful. She was the daughter of an old friend of Padmé's family. The job with the Senator was a dream come true.
"I have your schedule for today, My Lady," she said with a little more confidence, handing it over to her new boss.
Padmé brightened visibly as she read through it. "I'm seeing Rowen Farr this morning," she said cheerfully, and the atmosphere in the room lightened immediately. Rowen Farr was the Queen's Chief of Staff. Dormé suddenly thought that the meeting might have something to do with getting in touch with Anakin. It was the only explanation for the sudden light in Padmé's eyes. Nothing else seemed to make her that happy.
"The Chancellor's office just called," Dellia said, a bit worried. "I tried to put the call through to you but I couldn't."
Padmé looked up from the schedule. "This COM link is broken. I'll need a new one." Dellia searched for it on the desk but found nothing. Padmé shook her head and pointed silently to the far wall. Dellia followed the line of sight and found the severely broken object on the floor. She looked up and met Dormé's eyes. Dormé shook her head.
"Put a return call through to the Chancellor, please," ordered Padmé. "I'll take it in the office next door."
As she picked up the broken communicator and followed her boss out of the office the Senator's young secretary decided that here might be more to this job than she had originally thought.
* * * * *
"I need your help, Senator," the Chancellor of the Republic said earnestly. "I hate to press you, but I think it is time you returned to Coruscant."
"I have a number of issues to discuss with you as well, Chancellor," Padmé said flatly, drumming her fingers on the desk as she spoke. "This occupation of Naboo is at the top of my list."
"Oh, come, Senator. You are being overly dramatic. The Garrison is there to protect Naboo from further attacks by the D'laians or other Separatist factions. Surely you appreciate the fact that our home planet is being given this protection."
"I certainly appreciate the fact that Naboo is being made to underwrite the cost of this - protective force - as you call it. And that the cost is considerable. And that we have had no say in the numbers of troops garrisoned here, the amount of equipment being brought planet side daily, or the planned duration of this exercise."
"The threat to Naboo is real," the Chancellor's image said firmly. "I am surprised you refuse to acknowledge that after your recent experiences with our D'laian neighbors."
It irritated Padmé that he kept referring to his own origins as a Naboo. The man hadn't spent more than a few days on Naboo in more than a decade. In fact a great many things about him had begun to irritate her recently. She had no idea why, but it made it more difficult to deal with him as diplomatically as she ought.
Padmé made a huge effort to pull herself together. She couldn't be effective stumbling through life in an emotional whirlpool.
"Tell me what you need my help with, Chancellor," she said, sounding more like her old self.
"A new piece of legislation has been drafted that I believe will become very important to our war effort."
The hairs on the back of Padmé's neck rose slightly while she listened.
"It will allow us to establish a training academy for officers in the Galactic Army. It directly addresses the two main concerns we now have about our command structure: that the Jedi cannot go on filling command posts forever, and that there are not enough of them to do so as our forces expand…Alarm bells went off in Padmé's head. Expanded forces?…and second, our concerns that cloned beings should not be in positions of high command." That was certainly something she agreed with.
"How can I be of help?" she asked, having already decided to return to Coruscant immediately. She had to be in on the beginning of this. There were too many dangerous directions it could take.
"I would like you to introduce the bill, and to lead the charge for its passage."
Padmé thought hard. She had already spent too much time away from the Senate. It was odd how she always seemed to be pulled away by crises when something important was being voted on.
"I will return as soon as possible, Chancellor," she agreed, without making any promises as to her support. "We should meet to discuss this at length upon my return."
"Thank you, Senator Amidala," the Chancellor said genially. "Your presence is needed on Coruscant."
Padmé watched the holo-image fade with a bad taste in her mouth. Oh, well. A lot of odd things were happening to her lately. It must be love.
* * * * *
"I'm sorry, Senator." Her old friend Rowen Farr, the Queen's Chief of Staff, was genuinely sympathetic. "I have tried everything I could think of, using the full weight of the Queen's office. The Jedi won't budge. They will not release any information about your young friend at all."
Padmé didn't really expect anything else, but she had to try.
"Thank you, Rowen. I really appreciate it. I suppose there is nothing more I can do."
"It's really important to you, isn't it?" The ancient Nubian asked kindly.
"It is, Rowen, it is." Padmé felt she owed him some kind of explanation after all the time he had spent on her behalf trying to get information about Anakin out of the Jedi. His success had been no better than hers. "He was injured while on my security detail. I know him quite well, and I feel responsible. I just wanted to know how he is." The lies were coming more easily every time she told them. Even when she was speaking with old friends.
"Understandable, my dear, understandable." Rowen patted her hand kindly. He was ancient enough and high enough in status that he could do so without offending. He had been Chief of Staff to every Regent for the past three decades, including Padmé. "But surely you know that this is very typical of the Jedi. They take care of their own, and they feel accountable to no one."
Padmé nodded, and forced a smile.
"Thank you again, Rowen," she said, standing up to take her leave. "And please thank the Queen for me."
So the Jedi had truly reclaimed Anakin, and there was no way she could reach out to him. No way at all. It felt as though she had lost him all over again.
He is mine, she thought, rebelliously. They can't hide him away forever.
"Wait, my dear," said Rowen. "There is some good news."
Padmé sat down again.
Rowen handed her a large, elegantly written and illustrated parchment, prepared in the official style reserved for a certain category of documents in the Nubian bureaucracy. The irreproducible holo-seal was hidden in exquisite decorative illustrations. Padmé's heart started to pound as she read it. When she looked up again her face was glowing.
"She is mine, then. The adoption is official."
"Yes, my dear. Yes." Rowen was very pleased to be able to give her good news for once. "Young Balé is your daughter now."
This was a bright piece of news in a dark time. Padmé's handmaiden Cordé had been solely responsible for raising her nine-year-old niece Balé. Then Cordé had died in an assassination attempt while serving as Padmé's decoy on Coruscant, and Padmé had immediately taken responsibility for the little girl. Now she could give her a proper family, a name, and a home. It certainly wasn't a hardship. Balé was wonderful.
Our daughter, thought Padmé as she took her leave of the kindly official still clutching the parchment in her hand.
If only she could let Anakin know.
* * * * *
"You're doing it again," Balé said earnestly to Padmé.
"What?" She looked up startled, coming back from the faraway place her thoughts had taken her. "Oh. Sorry." She managed to smile. "Where were we?"
"You were telling me that I can come with you to Coruscant."
Padmé raised her eyebrows. "Nice try, but I wasn't that far away." She went back to pulling clothes out of the wardrobe and laying them on the bed. All of her Handmaidens had abandoned her for their regular weapons training session and wouldn't be back until noon, but she was anxious to get the packing underway.
"Please! I promise I'll be good. I won't bother you at all."
Padmé sighed and got down onto her knees in front of the little girl so that she could hug her properly.
"First of all, you never bother me. I love to have you with me. Second, you don't have to be perfect. It has nothing to do with that." She nuzzled Balé's tumbled hair. "I wish you could come. But you have your lessons and I have a huge amount of work to do. We would never see each other if you came."
"We won't see each other if you go, either," Balé said logically.
Padmé laughed. Balé hadn't heard her do that for a while. It sounded nice.
She has all the makings of a politician, Padmé thought, not knowing whether that was something to be happy for or not.
"True, but if you came with me we would never see each other and you would miss all your lessons."
Balé quite honestly didn't think that was so bad, but knew better than to say so. She leaned her head into Padmé's shoulder, thinking how nice she was and how good she smelled.
"I'll miss you."
Padmé felt tears welling up. Missing was something she did all the time. The lonely ache never went away. "I'll miss you, too," she whispered.
Balé's arms went around her neck.
"Are you going to see him?"
Gods! Padmé thought. She always seems to know what I'm thinking.
"See whom?" Padmé asked, leaning back and making a fierce and largely successful effort to smile.
"The Jedi."
"The Jedi! Why do you ask?"
"I want to give him a present."
Padmé contemplated the little girl. She had such a serious expression on her face. She misses him, too, she thought. She hardly spent any time with him but he went straight into her heart. It occurred to her suddenly that this might be another explanation for Balé's determination to go to Coruscant with her.
"What kind of a present?"
Balé reached into her pocket and pulled out a small wooden box about the size of her hand. It was intricately carved and painted, and only a little bit grubby. The lid opened to reveal a shallow compartment inside.
"It's my puzzle box," she said proudly. "I want to give it to him. It has three secret compartments, see?"
Padmé watched in fascination as the child adeptly pressed certain carvings to allow hidden pegs to emerge, which she then turned to allow tiny, completely hidden drawers to open in the otherwise innocuous box. It was very clever, and she seemed to master it perfectly.
"The hardest one to find is the one in the middle." She made a few intricate movements and a small compartment at the heart of the box was revealed. "It's really good for hiding things."
As the compartment opened Padmé saw what looked like a tiny, folded piece of paper inside it.
"What's that?"
"A note I wrote. He'll have to find it to read it."
Padmé couldn't imagine a more perfect present for Anakin, and wondered how Balé had come upon the idea. She seemed so wise sometimes. But being able to get something to him was another problem. The Jedi were unlikely to allow him to receive anything from the outside world, and least of all from her.
"I don't know whether I'll be able to give it to him," she said honestly, touching the box with her fingers. "He's very busy right now." Balé's disappointed face made her resolve to find a way. "But I will try."
"You miss him, too, don't you." Balé observed.
The child sees everything.
"Yes, I do," said Padmé. "But I guess we will both just have to be patient." She took the box carefully. "I will take this with me. And I will try to find a way to get it to him. I promise."
Balé was satisfied with that. She could always trust Padmé to keep her promises.
"I'll help you," she offered, pleased, and Padmé accepted happily. They struggled with clothing and luggage companionably until a gaggle of Handmaidens descended upon them shortly after noon and turned the quiet dressing room into a colorful riot.
When they were almost finished, Padmé wrapped the little box carefully in a piece of velvet and added it to her hand luggage.
"What's that?" Sabé asked curiously.
Balé bounced up enthusiastically. "It's a present for the Jedi!"
"Oh," said Sabé expressively, looking down at the luggage longer than strictly necessary so that she didn't have to look into her mistress' eyes.
"It's from Balé," said Padmé shortly, also not looking up.
"I see. Are you going to see him?" There was a world of meaning in those few simple words.
Padmé pushed down her irritation, and said, with considerable emotion, "I would love to. If only I could. But there is no way to reach him. The present is from Balé. I promised her that I would try to find a way to get it to him."
"I'm sorry, " Sabé said, looking down and folding a single unfortunate scarf for the seventh time. It was hard for her to accept her mistress' passion for that arrogant Jedi boy, but there was no doubt that she was truly suffering. She had been thinking for quite a while that it was time to heal the rift he had caused between herself and Padmé.
"I'll come with you to Coruscant," she offered, although it was not in the original plans. "Maybe I can find a way to help."
Padmé was moved. She thought it was a generous offer, considering Sabé's feelings about her relationship with Anakin. It was just as well Sabé didn't know that Padmé and Anakin had married.
"I would like that," she said. "Thank you. Just make the arrangements."
Guilt and relief began to do serious battle in Sabé's soul. It was just as well that Padmé didn't know that she was the one who had betrayed her Mistress' confidence to Anakin's Jedi Master.
Things really had changed.
"I'll go pack," Sabé said, and it was done.