Chapter Two

Sam was concentrating on her computer monitor when Daniel arrived at her lab. And even though she sensed someone come into the room, her attention remained on her work.

"Okay, Sam. This has got to stop! Jack is waiting for you to report him, and you're in total denial...with the exception of letting lucky me into your little web, that is. And now Hammond has gotten the scent, and you know how he is when he thinks something is wrong."

Daniel had plunked himself down on the other stool by the bench where she worked, and now he was leaning his elbows on the bench top, his head in his hands.

"General Hammond spoke to you? What did he say?"

"He knows something's wrong between Jack and me, and he wonders why you don't seem to want to be involved. He told me in no uncertain terms to take care of it this weekend, or he's gonna do something about it himself. Which I guess means taking us out of rotation until we settle this."

Daniel lifted his head then and looked at her. She was staring at him, tears glistening in her big blue eye, and Daniel wanted to give her a hug. But he didn't because of those damned cameras. That's all Sam needed was a rumor about herself and him.

"Sam, you know if Hammond questions Teal'c, the big guy won't lie for you. You have to remember that he doesn't see anything wrong with what you did."

"Are you sure Teal'c even knows what happened, Daniel?" Sam had her doubts, but obviously Daniel didn't.

"Oh, he knows all right. He just doesn't believe in getting involved in his friends' personal lives. The Jaffa are smart that way," Daniel pointed out and Sam nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry I told you, Daniel. I'm just such a mess, and I've got no one else I can talk to about things like this. Janet's military and I can't put her in an awkward situation of having to lie for us." Sam was crying now, the tears slowly escaping from under her closed lids. She put her head down on her folded arms, as Daniel patted her back.

"Hey, kiddo, at least you know he loves you, right?" When she didn't answer, he became even more concerned.

"Sam, Jack loves you! If you believe nothing else, you have to believe that!"

She lifted her head and dabbed at her face with a tissue she pulled from a box nearby.

"I know you truly believe that, Daniel. But right now I'm not as certain as you are," she admitted. "If he loves me, then why won't he talk to me about this? When I tried to talk to him, all he said was that he would understand if I reported him. Why on earth would I do that, Daniel!"

"I tried to tell him how I feel about him, but he just refused to listen. He kept saying that it was his responsibility to prevent things like that from happening."

"He never once said he loves me...not even when we were... In fact he acted like he had used me just to satisfy some cheap sexual craving that he had. But I know that's not who he is. He would never do that! I'm just so confused right now," she said wiping her eyes with the damp tissue.

"I think I let him down, Daniel, and now he's trying to make me look like the innocent party in this. He's doing it to protect me, and I don't deserve his protection! Maybe I should just turn myself in and get it over with," she said finally.

Daniel sprang off the stool and came to stand next to her. 'Blasted cameras,' he thought as he put an arm around Sam's shoulders.

"Sam, don't even think about doing that! We'll work this out. I'll help you! Let's go talk to Jack. I think if you two would just tell each other how you really feel, you could figure out what to do...together. I think you could just carry on a relationship right under Hammond's nose. If you wouldn't both act so guilty, he would never even suspect!"

"I think he already suspects, or has in the past. He knows about the Zatarc testing, Daniel. And the man may be older than us, but he's not blind. However, I do believe that if we could keep an affair out of the work place, and not give him any other reason to bring charges against us, General Hammond would not say anything even if he did know about us. I've known him since I was a child, and he does have a good, kind heart, Daniel."

"There! You see! Now what do you say we go find Jack and tell him what you just told me? I'm sure we can talk some sense into him."

"I think maybe I'd better go find him by myself," she told him, giving his arm a pat. "You've probably suffered enough from his bad mood for one day," she said, smiling. Daniel laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Okay. But I want you to promise me you'll call me if you need me, or even if you don't. I want to know what he says," Daniel told her.

"I will, Daniel. I promise." Daniel waited while Sam turned off her laptop and several other electronic devices in the room, then she picked up the computer and headed for the locker room. Daniel walked her there, and they said their good-byes.

When Sam pulled up in front of Jack's house, his truck was not there.

"Damn!" Sam slapped her hand on the steering wheel of her Volvo in frustration. Then she calmed down and began to consider where else Jack might have gone. One place that occurred to her was his cabin in Minnesota, but it was a great distance to go for just a few days, so she considered other alternatives. A local bar was the only other place she could think of, so she drove around Jack's neighborhood, scouring the parking lots of several nearby establishments for his big, black truck.

Unfortunately she didn't find it. And after two and a half frustrating hours of searching for him, she drove back to his house. And his truck was now parked, albeit at an odd angle, in the driveway near the back of his house. She drove into the driveway and stopped opposite the front porch and just sat there for a minute or two.

If she had to guess, she'd say he was drunk when he drove in, which didn't make her feel very good. She worried about him enough as it was, and adding drunken driving to the list was almost too much for her to contemplate. So she put the idea out of her head and turned off the engine of her car. Then she opened the door and slowly got out, wondering how she was going to start the conversation. What did one say to the man who had made passionate love to you only a few days ago, but who now acted like he had committed some horrible crime against mankind instead!

'Oh well, you're here now, Major. And he's probably heard your car, so get in there and just say whatever pops into your head! Sam,' she chided herself, 'you're smarter than that! Don't say just anything; say what you feel!'

For some reason Sam decided to go around to the back of the house, and it was a good thing she did. It was there, on his back deck that she found him, sitting with his feet up on the wood railing, a bottle of beer in one hand. He had obviously heard her car, because he spoke to her before she'd barely rounded the corner of the house, causing her heart to almost jump out of her chest.

"What are you doing here, Carter?"

Sam walked around and stood below the railing where his feet rested.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, Jack! Mind if I join you?" She wasn't going to make it easy for him to get rid of her, of that she was determined.

"Suit yourself," he said, and she walked up the short flight of stairs and stood about three feet from his chair. He didn't look up at her but kept his eyes on some imaginary point across his big yard.

"May I have a chair, Jack, or are you gonna make me stand up the whole time I'm here," she asked him.

He got up and went into the house, bringing back a folding chair which he placed next to his, without putting his beer bottle down. Then he sat back down and chugged the rest of the beer, belching loudly when he was finished.

She knew he had done it to irritate her, but she ignored his ill manners and sat down anyway, wondering what on earth had ever possessed her to put them in this awkward situation.

"Jack, I want to apologize for what I did. And don't try to tell me it was your idea, or that you are solely responsible! I am the guilty party in this. I just wanted to tell you..."

To her surprise Jack got up and went into the house. Sam's head spun around to watch him leave, and her anger flared. No one, not even Jack O'Neill was gonna walk away when she was talking to them!

"Jack O'Neill!"

She stood up quickly and the aluminum chair fell over backward, clattering to the deck. Jack came back out of the house carrying two more bottles of beer just as she was unfolding the thing and setting it back down on the deck.

"What's the matter Carter did the chair attack you or something?" Jack held out one bottle, which she accepted it. He sat back down and she did the same, looking at him with a very puzzled expression.

"I can't decide if you are trying to avoid this conversation or not," she told him frankly.

"What conversation is that, Carter? You seem to be doing all the talking around here," he told her. Sam stood up and slammed the bottle onto the railing, splattering beer every which way. Jack brushed at his clothing, while Sam just stood there, bottle in hand, beer dribbling down her arm and onto the deck.

"Jeez, Carter, look at the mess you've made!"

It was then that Sam began to cry...great, gut-wrenching sobs that tore at her heart and shook her entire body. Jack sprang into action, taking the bottle out of her hand and placing it on the deck floor along with his own. Then he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her to him, her face buried in his neck. Jack held her like that for a few minutes, until her shaking lessened and she was able to speak.

"Why are you doing this," she asked, looking up at him with a tear-stained face. Jack thought she looked like her heart was breaking, and he immediately felt remorse for anything he had ever done that had hurt her...including their little interlude on the planet.

"I do things 'cause I'm a selfish prick, Sam. You should know that by now," he told her.

He dropped his arms from around her, but not before wishing he could take her in the house and make love to her again. 'Haven't you done enough to hurt her all ready,' he asked himself.

"No, that's not true, Jack! You're not selfish! That's not the kind of man you are!"

"You have no idea what kind of man I am, Carter. I've done things I'm not at all proud of, and now I've fucked up your career to boot," he told her, sitting down on the top step.

She walked down the steps and stood in front of him, her hands on his knees. Her body was bent over, and Jack had a nice view of her cleavage, which he was trying desperately not to enjoy.

"Jack, first I'm going to tell you something ... again ... and then I'm going to ask you a question. And I want you to answer it honestly," she told him firmly as she looked him in the eye.

Their faces were only a foot apart as she leaned over him, her body between his thighs now.

"I had sex with you because I've wanted to for a long, long time. Because I love you, Jack," she stated forcefully. "What I want to know is why did you have sex with me?"

He could tell she was angry. Her face was so close to his that he could feel her breath on his face. It was damn distracting and he almost lost his nerve. He had to give her an answer but he didn't have to tell her the truth.

"You know why, Sam. Because I needed a good fucking and you offered. So what's the big mystery? Oh, wait! Did you think I actually felt something for you? Is that what you want me to say? Cause if it is, then you got the wrong guy here, baby!"

Sam didn't seem surprised by his answer as though she'd expected he would continue to avoid the truth. He was surprised when she bent down and planted a lingering kiss on his lips. In fact he was so startled that he forgot his good intentions. Instead of pushing her away, he pulled her into his body, so that her knees rested on the step below where he sat and her upper body was supported solely by his. His arms went around her and he held her tight as his lips crushed hers.

When their mouths separated, Sam tilted her head back and said, "If that's how you truly feel about me ... that I'm nothing but a good fuck ... then so be it. I'll take you any way I can get you, Jack O'Neill, because it's better than not having you at all."

Jack stared into her blue eyes, tears welling there again, and then he pulled her into his arms and just held her while she cried. But now there were tears in Jack's eyes too.

"Christ, Carter, please don't cry! I'm such a bastard, Sam. I'm a bastard and a liar and I don't deserve you, but I'll be damned if I allow you to think so little of yourself. I do love you. I've loved you since ... well, since probably the moment we first met! You were so gutsy and gorgeous and you didn't back down, and I thought you were the hottest thing since the jet engine," he admitted, as she wiped her face with the palm of her hand.

She looked at him and saw his tears. Kissing his face, she tasted the salt on her lips.

"Tell me again, Jack," she begged him. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Samantha Carter. I love you and I always will," he told her, and then they kissed gently, each afraid the other would break.

"Jack, I want us to be together," she told him, her voice firm. "And I don't care what we have to do to make it happen. Daniel actually suggested that we just keep our relationship a secret. He said he'd be fine with it, and he thinks Teal'c would be too."

Jack had helped her stand up, and then he stood up too, pulling her up by the hand until she was standing on the deck in front of him. He took hold of her arms and studied her face.

"Could you really live like that, Sam? I know what an honest person you are. Could you really live a lie like that?" She looked into his eyes, and then she closed hers, not wanting him to see the uncertainty in them.

"You don't have to answer, honey. I know you couldn't do it. You're not made that way."

"A little while ago I came here to give you a pep talk, and now you're giving me one. Funny how things change," she said, smiling.

"Yes, I guess it is," he replied, laughing. "So, am I making you feel better?"

"A little better. Just don't tell me what I could or couldn't do. I can do anything I set my mind to, and right now my mind is set on having you, Colonel. Right now! I want you to take me to your bed and make me feel even better."

"You mean you want another pep talk? Would it cheer you up if I told you how you're the answer to my every prayer? How I get this constant craving when I'm around you or when I'm just thinking about you?"

"I think telling me might help cheer me up, but showing me would definitely work much better," she told him, kissing him tenderly on the lips. Together they went inside, and Jack locked both the back and the front door. He didn't want anyone disturbing the pep talk he was planning to give Sam.

TBC