Well here we are, part 2. Mind the whiplash, it becomes point of view (first person) from here on out, mostly. My favored style.
The clocked ticked. It was an old fashioned affair that wound up, with bells on top. A rather beaten brass device saved from a junkpile and crudely restored, it nonetheless told time almost perfectly. It had one other thing it was good at of course. Every morning at 5:30 am it would ring, loudly.
Today I slapped it to silence almost before it started to ring, then stretched. With the last neighbor of mine moved away (in point of fact, due to the currently slapped alarm clock going off for hours at a time, apparently according to the report she gave the landlord she could hear it through two walls... snicker) I wasn't as afraid to be caught in my Hanyou form as before.
So I half expected Kurama-baka to pull stuff like having me wake up out of disguise. I stretched as hard as I could; while the disguise Kurama provided me with was perfect (being nothing short of a full transformation) I spent most of my time in it, which led to side effects. Like my tail getting the worst crick in it imaginable, and my senses getting dulled.
I had to deal with it; so far while I was told any kitsune worth their salt could do kurama's full transformation trick, the best I could manage so far was the ninja's illusionary henge. And of course in a ninja village, that wouldn't really fool anyone of importance no matter how good I was at it. I mentally prodded my tenant as I got up to face the day - I knew he'd be screaming in my head if I tried to take an extra five minutes -
"So what do you think it is today? Coffee during shift change or mouse and muskrat making out again?"
Yes my watchers, a full team of elite ANBU ninja... were a bunch of indolent, bored fools who were constantly half asleep while doing their job. Truly I feared for this village should it be attacked. That being said it helped me greatly, as I was basically a ninja behind enemy lines (in the village of my birth no less).
Truly a disheartening thought so early in the day. I made a simple breakfast of rice while Kurama snorted and guessed.
Mouse and muskrat haven't been seen since that morning, so I would guess they are removed from your guard detail. If I had to guess I'd say it was breakfast during shift change; The best ninja of the village (we both stifled mocking laughter) seem content with your given waking routine of 7am.
I'd established that routine over the past 6 months like clockwork; never missed a day. People often liked to cut corners; elites were no different. I really hoped I didn't grow up to be that stupid.
"So that is what I owe the change in form to? It's still dangerous for us both you know, even ANBU can get it right sometimes."
No, you owe the change in form to the fact that you spend far too much time as 'Naruto' and not nearly enough as Nami.
"Darn it Kurama-baka I'm a guy! I spend most of my time as a guy, and my name is Naruto, not Nami."
His exasperation was a palpable cloak as I dressed.
You are a hanyou named Nami, who happens to spend most of her time transformed into a disguise. I won't call you 'he' nor your former name, as it is not who you are. Test me on this and I won't disguise you anymore.
"what? No, hey I was just kidding Kurama-sama, almighty bijou. No need to get us thrown in prison."
I had long since come to the conclusion that the powers that be in Konoha wouldn't risk killing me and freeing Kurama; the smart idea would be to lock me up and throw away the key... till I died of old age. Which for a hanyou, was a long, long time.
The prison in fire country for such dangerous criminals was one with a slightly better reputation than the ones in the other elemental countries, but that was saying nothing at all. It was a best a barren hole, and at worst a hell of human making. While I was fairly sure even Kurama didn't want to spend time there by proxy, I was absolutely certain that if I pissed him off enough, he'd doom us both.
I still couldn't keep a slight mocking edge out of my tone however; something in me prevented it. I chose to blame the demon half of me. I think Kurama did too, because he didn't seem to take offense.
We have time for you to enjoy yourself Nami-chan. You can even try your own transformational skills.
Alright so he took a little... or he was just sniping at me in kind. He knew I couldn't (for reasons unknown to both of us, oddly) do anything but cause my tail and ears to vanish. Knowing it was pointless to argue with him when he was like this, I wasted no time in doing so.
Besides, I couldn't wait here for whichever ANBU were supposedly on duty to check on me; I'd worked hard to get these hours of uninterrupted training. Hopefully this would be the last time I had to pull something like this; after tomorrow I'd be a ninja, able to take care of, and train myself. Then I'd only have to trick my jounin-sensei and team. Which reminded me...
"Kurama... you going to let me pass this time?"
The last two attempts to pass the genin exam had been met with failure, as Kurama had made sure to cause my chakra to spike as I was performing the 3 basic jutsus taught to genin. I had still managed kawarimi and henge with ease, but failed the clone technique, twice.
I was making sure you'd be able to survive; you're so ungrateful. But no, this time you pass. After all we both know the only path in life for you here is ninja or prisoner. Not even your chief monkey can alter that reality. Besides, you should easily be able to perform the clone technique no matter what I do, if you want to be a ninja.
"Easy for you to say, you don't have a giant demonic fox sending enough chakra to level mountains through your coils every time you try to do anything."
At least with my chakra hopelessly polluted and demonic, no one could really tell the difference between a pulse or two of the real deal. It was amazing what people would and could consider normal. I did my special modified kawarimi, replacing myself with the log I'd marked with my chakra outside and a street away; I'd found early on that you don't need line of sight when dealing with something you could recognize as your own.
So no one would mistake the little red head in the dark brown cargo pants and olive shirt for Naruto Uzumaki, resident eyesore. No dirty looks, no cold gazes, no fake smiles. Of course, it being so early, a large part of that had to do with the fact that I was alone on the streets.
One of the first things I was taught was to make sure I wasn't being tracked, and luckily enough I wasn't; the ANBU that were supposed to be watching me hadn't shown up yet. I made a mental note in case I ever needed blackmail material; pretty sure the old man would rip them a new one for leaving me ungaurded for ten minutes.
Pretty sure that it wasn't the right hour to be out as a 13 year old girl either, but weirder things were happening and Konoha was fairly safe for most. One had to beware though... beware the green spandex. I melted back into the darkness just in time, avoiding being spotted by the 2 blurs of pure green evil.
you're shuddering, Nami.
"I feel absolutely no shame in that."
And people thought my orange was bad. Heck most of the time I wore my orange just to make other peoples eyes bleed and challenge myself. After all, how many people can hide from seasoned ninja in orange? Nevermind the ANBU, they don't count. I mean, I'm told they are all top notch badasses. I just never see it though.
Even he of the burning youth was better; I'm pretty sure he saw me just now, took notice of my desire to hide, and didn't stop. Nice of him.
Wake up Nami-chan. You need to be paying more attention to your surroundings if you want to be a proper kunoichi.
Yep, he was definately doing that to piss me off. At least I made it to the training ground on time. The roads weren't that busy at least.
"Well a few minutes early chibi. Good morning."
"I'm not a chibi, jerk-sensei."
The jerk in question was a lazy, indifferent samurai, at least to all appearances. Long brown hair touched with silver at the temples, brown eyes only half open, dressed in a clean (for once) grey gi with a black hakama over it. Chiseled body and handsome face... and a total lie of course. His eyes were actually yellow, and his four black tails and fox ears were absent. He took a long drag off his ever present pipe.
"Yeah yeah, whatever. No need to be so loud this early, eh?"
"Then don't call me weird things. So what's on tap for today?"
"Well I've finally come to the realization you're never going to be good with a sword, and your illusions just flat suck."
"Hey! I can fool plenty of people you know!"
"Sure sure, but only the idiots. So I guess we'll just work on your kaiton. Like the boss, your level of fire usage is just beyond ludicrous. So today you learn the flame dragon. We only have a few hours so pay attention."
Much more quickly than I could follow he went through the seals.
"Fire style; grand fire dragon!"
Ahh, so not truly kaiton. This was a kitsune technique masked as a jutsu. Which meant while the hand seals could be the right ones for the ninja version, they meant nothing for this. The real secret for it was the actual chakra molding. That and of course the large dragon of flame summoned seemed to be directed and could melt large boulders.
"Sometimes sensei, you are full of awesome."
"You got it? Show me the seals."
I did so, flashing the sequence of hand seals I thought he used.
"No no no chibi, it's boar monkey tiger, not boar tiger monkey. You'll fry yourself if you do it that way. And you call that fluctuating mess proper chakra moulding?"
"Ugh, I take it back. you're an ass."
Still, it was a grand time setting fire to things, even if my own results with the technique were... less than perfect. I only exploded myself once! It was an achievement. But two hours later and with only marginal success it was time for school. The almost completely useless and utterly boring ninja academy.
Aww hell with it. Pranking time. Iruka-sensei was just going to review anyway. So...what to do, what to do... Dye the Hyuuga laundry orange? Set fire to the hokage tower? (I always wanted to try that for the irony of it) Nah, I couldn't cause that much trouble for the old man. then it hit me; THE prank. The one I always wanted to try, a sort of revenge on the jerk of a so called hero who caused many of my problems.
It was time to hit the mountain.
Having a form no one knew about was quite handy for pranking. I was able to grab the dye I'd made before for the purpose and re-hydrate it (water soluble of course, I was no fool). Buying some paint might have been simpler, but it also might have led to even the ANBU getting tipped off about my current body; all I'd need would be to have them think it possible that the cute little red head was a henge of the village prankster. Which is of course why I did what I could.
A simple illusion to give me black hair and green eyes and alter the planes of my face was easy; and so simple that it wasn't likely to be spotted, let alone seen through. I looked like a young girl carrying buckets of water; an unusual sight but not entirely unknown. I wasn't even challenged. I even saw neko and badger (two of my watchers) jump over me on the roofs. Well that's ANBU for you. I took a meandering route, looking for gaurds.
You would think that since the civilian shelters were under the mountain, there would be guards for such an important site... but I couldn't spot any, and Kurama didn't say anything. Just the random patrols flitting by overhead, taking no notice of the little girl who appeared to be too young to be a ninja. I made it to the top, and became the very picture of a someone taking a rest after a hard labor.
In reality carrying the pails was pretty much nothing, even up all those stairs. I never really did tire of the view however. I stared at the town that hated me until I was sure of the patrols, and even then I asked my prisoner.
"Anyone, Kurama?"
The mental sense of amusement almost flattened me the moment I opened my mind to his.
You're all clear. Any idea how you aren't going to get caught in the act?
"Of course; my sucky illusions. Or rather, that one."
That one was the one not even the baka fox would complain about. It was only the simplest but most sought after pinnacle of the shinobi arts. A layered genjutsu and kitsune illusion that made me invisible. It bent all light around me, making sure no eye could see me. It was really quite a simple thing to do... if you were a hanyou.
And of course like all good things it drained chakra worse than my best fire jutsu. Of course I wouldn't need it that long, but I would be attempting to use it in a manner I'd not used it in before. In conjunction with an illusion to cover the entirety of the hokage mountain, in order to hide their... improvements till I was finished. There was no doubt it would be tiring, but it wasn't just revenge.
It was also great training. I was slow. I was careful. I refused to move while the patrols or other people were present. I even felt the old man's gaze focused my way once. Turns out I really didn't need to worry. They were all so lax... so indolent. So sure of their strength that they didn't even see the illusion present within it.
Just over 30 minutes, hanging from a rope and only painting when I could. The fourth of course, got the worst treatment. I understood his reasons; but that in no way excused what he had done to an orphan child. There had to have been some other choice. Like maybe, an actual ninja or something. It was almost like he didn't want to waste a real person or something. I don't know, who knows how assholes think?
So while the third looked cross eyed, the first looked ill and the second looked like he had gas, the fourth looked like a retarded kabuki. Mission complete, and Kurama's snickering in my head was drowning out mine.
"Ready for the next phase Kurama?"
Sure thing gaki; you better change.
Still invisible I dragged out my eye ruining orange. The change in clothes suited the other change, into the larger, stockier Uzumaki Naruto, resident prank artist of Konoha. I hid my other clothes just in time, as one of the amazingly professional ANBU patrols came by. Unable to resist the perfect timing I dropped the genjutsu, then my invisibility (while 'hidden' in a bush of course). Their reactions were amazing! They were so shocked they even missed me at first... at least until I helped them along with a snicker.
"You! stop right there!"
Of course I didn't. If they wanted me they would have to catch me. Very small chance of that happening. Which of course was why they would drag Iruka into it. Iruka-sensei knew all of Naruto's haunts and hiding places, so of course they would go find him when the speedy approach failed. And like always, I would let him find me. But where to do it this time? hmm.
Oh crap, counting chickens, that net almost got me! This called for a rasberry, of course. Nothing like a good rasberry to anger a random idiot. And just like that he was just too angry to pay proper attention... which meant I was gone. With all the immediate pursuit lost I backtracked a bit to one of my lesser but still known haunts, a small park near the Nara clan compound. Incompetent or not, it didn't take long for the pursuers to draft Iruka-sensei, nor all that long for him to find me. I amused myself with building a sandcastle version of the hokage mountain and laughing fits with Kurama.
"Naruto! What were you thinking!?"
"Oh, uh, hi Iruka-sensei. How are you today?"
"Skipping school to pull a stupid prank again Naruto? I thought you wanted to graduate?!"
"Oh but I will Iruka-sensei. No problem at all."
For some reason his eye was twitching. Kurama howling laughter in my head wasn't helping me act properly either.
"Then I suppose you won't mind going back to class and finishing the review. After that you're going to clean up the mess you made."
It was always easy to tell when he was his most angry - he was almost silent when speaking. And just like that I was roped up and being carried along. Yep, he was pretty angry; he didn't stop muttering about ungrateful brats till I was thrown in my usual seat (with the ropes still tied) and his customary yell for the class to shut up and sit down. I couldn't really help myself, the review was boring. Who needs to know angles of incidence for kunai throws, seriously? See the target, hit the target. Simple. Who didn't know that a henge was one of the best infiltration skills, despite it's limitations?
"Naruto! Wake up!"
Chalk bounced off my head.
"Get down here and do a henge of the hokage!"
I dared not say the words that I wanted. I just nodded and walked down... then had a wicked idea. My henge of the hokage was perfect... if he was my height, had a face twice as long as normal and three times his regular liver spots. Of course the class erupted in laughter; my work was done. I let go of the technique as Iruka bopped me on the head. He didn't really hit me all that hard.
I walked back up to my seat, taking a discrete bow or two; Shikamaru was actually glancing at me as I sat down. I gave him a questioning look which he ignored in favor of going back to sleep. He knew I was screwing up on purpose... and he had some idea why; at least the psych...psycholo...err mental reasons. He was entirely too smart for his own good.
That seemed like a good idea. the sleeping that is. More useful than this skills review. And of course before I could get a good sleep going, class was over. Iruka was all over me before I could so much as get up; he knew me well.
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
He still marched me along by the scruff of my neck while I gathered a bucket and water, grabbing some soap on his own when he thought I wasn't looking. He really should know me better. We took to the roofs heading back to the monument; both for speed and to avoid the villagers, who might very well decide to lynch me. I couldn't really blame them, even if I didn't care that much. I'd made my statement. As I'd planned for, clean up was quick. No soap was needed, just plenty of water.
"Naruto, why do you pull these stunts?"
I couldn't really answer. After all, what could I say? How could I explain? I wanted the villagers and ninja alike to look. To pay attention, and actually SEE ME. Not the demon child, or fox brat, or anything else. Naruto Uzumaki. Though, the irony of what they would see when they finally looked did not escape me. Hopefully when that happened they would care enough not to lock me up for a hundred years. I ended up snorting and shrugging, but apparently it was enough. Iruka-sensei smiled and ruffled my hair.
"If you hurry, we can go for ramen. My treat."
I couldn't stop a cheer at that; sure I was being bought off, but it was a good price! Not even the constant water trips slowed me.
"Say Iruka-sensei, let me try on your headband, eh?"
He adjusted it a bit and frowned. The old man had already served us both; I had just finished my second bowl and had been struck by the idea.
"This headband is a symbol that you are an adult and a ninja of konohagakure Naruto. In short, no way. Besides, you'll get yours tomorrow."
"Well, that's true! I'll be the best ninja ever! Just one more step on the road to becoming Hokage!"
I'd never become Hokage. Far too many people would be against anyone like me being in charge. It was nice to dream though. The misdirection never hurt either.
"You done Naruto? I don't think my wallet can take much more."
"Yeah thanks Iruka-sensei. Good night, see you tomorrow!"
I waved to old man Teuchi and bolted before Iruka could notice anything. Kurama was beginning to cause chakra spikes, a sure signal he either wanted to talk to me in private... or was going to cut the chakra he was using to keep me transformed soon. I was guessing on the latter, though I was unsure what I'd done to anger him this time.
I raced home, the spikes egging me along. Each pulse was coming quicker, a sure sign the baka-fox was going to just drop my protection. I barely made it inside before he cut the chakra flow. Ack! Damn tail was breaking! I shucked my pants, letting the stupid appendage free.
"Kurama you idiot! Trying to get us both killed?!"
I did warn you that you had to spend more time in your true form, did I not?
"But the ANBU! They could see!"
My memory isn't as terrible as yours. You made sure the shutters were in place this morning.
"But...!"
No buts! You WILL spend time as your true self; unless that is, you can master the transformation on your own.
That unsufferable smug...! Damn it! I didn't like being a girl, it felt weird. So I sat on the edge of the bed, and started meditating, trying to even out my chakra flow and reign in my anger. Nothing for it but to get transforming down myself.