A/N: So I dreamt this chapter last night and I hope you guys like it

And remember

I

Own

Nothing

At

All

Enjoy


I was surprised when he didn't enter his lab first.

Instead he went straight his room, and took off his shirt to lie down. I've always found myself drooling when he did that before. Anyway, he puts some music on. Not the usual metal or rock he has on; it's soft and comfortable this time. From what I could here (I was outside) it was Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park. It's cold out here but when I touch the window, it's like touching ice and it's all foggy. I clear the fog to make a small enough circle to see him through the window only to find him crying again; the only difference is that it wasn't as crazy as it was before but rather long and endless tears. He turns his whole body in my direction. I put one hand on the cold window, and when I do this he stops crying and sits up. He must have seen me, because his facial expression was no longer confused and hurt but rather anxious and curious. He got off his bed and walked towards the window where I am on the other side of it. He clears the fog from his side as I do the same with my free hand. I saw his eyes double in size; we both couldn't believe that he saw me.

His mouth fell slightly open at my appearance. He looked down at my hand and slowly aligned his with mine. At that point, the spot where our hands met became warm and slowly hot. I looked deep within his ocean blue eyes as he stared into my hazel earthy ones. This connection we have…it's magical and it can't be broken. He mouthed my name and I smiled because I knew he could see me. I looked down at his other hand; he slowly raised it and placed it at the same level as his other one. I mimicked his action and tears of happiness fell from my cheeks. It felt like centuries passed by as we kept this gaze. A small light appeared below and it grabbed my attention. I look down to see the figure of Roberta in the living room. He looked down too and looked back at me. He tried to smile but I knew it he couldn't; he was disappointed to break this moment as was I. I told him not to give up on me and I walked away. When I was on the steps going down I looked behind my shoulder and he was still staring at me. I turned around and waved; he smiled and did the same thing.

Tony's P.O.V

"Tony, who are you waving at?" Was the first thing Roberta asked me when she entered my room. I didn't turn around because I was watching her leave; it may have sound crazy but I actually saw her leave. She looked even more beautiful than before. Her hair was darker and longer, and her eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel. That's the thing I really adored about her and she was an amazing friend. I just wondered what would happen in we were more than just that…more than just friends.

"Pepper" I replied to her. Even though her image faded away, I'm still looking in her direction. She told me not to give up on her and that's a promise I intend to keep no matter what happens. I know she's not gone I know she's out there, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to find her.

"Tony we've been through this a million times. Pepper…she's gone Tony." I turned around with anger in my eyes. Everyone keeps saying that, but they're wrong I know they are. She's not gone and I just saw her; it's impossible. She can't be gone…she can't leave me like this. I felt like bursting into tears again but my anger and desperation won't let me.

"No she's not gone. Why does everyone keep saying that? It's a bunch of lies!" I exclaimed. No one, absolutely no one knows how I feel right now. Everyone just gave up on her; the FBI, the police, her own father and mother, Roberta, and now Rhodey is thinking about giving up too. I feel like I'm alone on this, like he's [god] testing me if I can to the right thing or if I have enough faith just to let go…

"I don't know what to say anymore Tony." She confessed. I never knew how crappy life could get until now.

"How about that she's not gone, that I'm not insane, that she's out there looking for help and everybody keeps neglecting her because they think she's gone." Hot tears ran down my face again. I'm so confused and angry all the time and it's making me go insane. Roberta tried to say something but nothing came out of her mouth; I assume it's because of my new attitude. I have to say, though, I'm pretty surprised as well; I never been this upset or angry or confused before that it just changed me for my life. But can anyone necessarily blame me; I mean I loved her with all the meaning in earth and then the next thing I know she's dead and everyone expects me to move on from that, but how can I? There are just some things in life some can't give up. She sighed and headed for the door.

"At least get some rest; we're going to your therapist in hour, okay?" I nodded and she closed the door. I don't understand why I need therapy in the first place; I'm not insane and I know what I'm doing so why do I need one? I puffed out a sigh and lay back down on my bed. I couldn't rest, but I can relax and try to let all the tension go. I close my eyes and try to remember all the fun times we had together. All the time we laughed, talked together, and all the times we would sneak off and nobody would know where we were until the next day. I missed those times very much. She was just a big part of my life that got taken away without a fair trial. The thing that haunts me the most is why I never told her I that I loved her. I mean I was able to tell her about everything else: about all my problems, the battles I've won, all the features I've put into that stupid armor. But never have I confessed my feelings for her; its regret that I have to live with for the rest of my life.

I take out a picture strip -the same you would get in picture booth- and look at it. It was the happiest time of my life. I remembered the day perfectly; Rhodey had unfortunately gotten sick due to his stress level, obviously caused by me. Anyhow it was a rather boring Saturday evening and there was nothing to do. No criminals to be fought, not a trace of Gene to be found anywhere, and nowhere to go or that's what I thought. After a few more hours a being bored she had suggested we'd go to Cooney Island; at first I was uninterested and I just wanted to sleep, but after hearing 20 minutes of her whining I finally gave in. At first I thought it would have been a terrible mistake, but then as time went by I slowly found myself enjoying every minute of it.

After a while of no rest, Roberta opens my door and turns of the lights; I groaned because I rather weep in the dark than in the light. I sense her come over to me and her mouth opened but I sat up quickly; I told her I couldn't rest no matter what. If she didn't pity me as much as she is right now, she would have yelled at me or say that I'm going to die if I keep it up. But in all depths, I want to die, but at the same time I don't; I just need her by me…maybe I am going insane.

I grabbed a clean T-Shirt and headed outside into the car. I sit next to the driver's seat because it helps me think more and concentrate more. I feel the engine of the car start up as we leave the drive way. Even though school is still in session, this isn't the first time I'm being sent home. Most of the time it's because I keep cutting; I didn't really care about school in the beginning and I don't care about it now. School…it was the thing my dad wanted me to go to, because he wanted me to have a normal life. Normal is a word that doesn't even make sense; it's a word that means usual, nothing eventful, and calm. Having a powerful high tech weapon suit, fighting all the time, and being stressed is something rather polar opposite of being normal.

When Roberta and I arrive at my therapists, I see a lot people here; 2 years my junior the least and 1 or 1 and half my senior the most. But the problem was that I've probably been here longer than everyone. The girl over there, her name is Anna; she is an anorexic. Her parents keep trying to make her eat, but it was a goal they couldn't yet accomplish. There was also boy here who would keep hearing voices and just freak out in class or at home or in public. And then what made most of the people here was either drugs, abuse or worried pregnancy. As crazy as it sounds, they were actually the lucky ones. They only have one problem to deal with, where as to I, I had several million. I had to worry about Stane, my father's company and his death, people finding out who I really am, and Pepper…I winced at the thought of it.

"Stop thinking about it, okay?" Roberta told me, but how can I not. We were just so close and I grew to having her around that it's killing quickly me from within.

I take a seat and just wait until it's my turn. My eyes were unsteady and watched the clock move ever so slowly. If you carefully watched the second hand move, it always would back and forward. I never fully understood the concept of time. I never got the hold of it, never learned it, and never accepted it. If I wasn't always so busy doing other things and just ignoring maybe I'd understand it more and just…I can't even think straight anymore.

After what seems to be years, the front desk women said that it was my turn. I turned to Roberta who was only nodding; gesturing me to go with her. I look down at my hands to see that they were pale and shaking. I get up and follow her; I was uncertain about coming here before as I am now. When she opened the door for me the room hadn't change one bit. The walls were split in half into two different designs; the bottom half was a mixture of a dark blue and a light grey, but it was more blue than grey. The top half was in a diamond design and those were a grey blend with a dark olive type of color; it surprised me that a room meant for curing carried such a depressing color. However, there were a few lamps there; two near a small black table and then one on the table. Above that table was a book cabinet filled with books; everything from Edward Abbey to Ann Beattie some of my favorite authors. Underneath the bookshelf was a small clock and just in front, or next to it, is where I would always sit; on the sofa or on the the chair. It didn't matter, because either way the session ended up at 0%; people may think I'm crazy, but as long as I know I'm not I could give a damn less.

I walked into the room only to see my therapist, Dr. Henry, signing some papers. He didn't have to look up to know it was me.

"Please, take a seat Tony." I sighed and did what he said. The longer I'm here the more I want to leave. It's not fair how life just throws things at you without notice. I just loved her so much and I just can't take it anymore. I don't care if I have all the mental break downs in the world I just want to find her; I know she's not gone. She promised she wouldn't leave me for anything.

"So, how have you been since your last visit?" I wasn't exactly the type of person to express my feelings or talk about them either; something I now regret. But I simply nod as is everything was okay, knowing that nothing will be okay.

"Tony," He began as he put his pen and glasses down. "I talked to Roberta before you came here and I want to try something different today." I sighed at his statement. I knew when Roberta interfered with my life nothing good comes out. It's not that I'm saying that I don't love her, because I really do; she was, and still is, like a mother to me even since mine passed away. But it's just that I need enough space for myself without her wondering where I am all the time. He took out his black board, the same you would have in classroom that we used a few weeks ago. He took out some chalk and starts to write something. I wondered; the last time we used that was a few weeks ago when he asked me to draw something. I don't remember what is was about, but I think it was about the people I love and the connection I have with people; I don't know it's all just a blur.

"Tony read this out loud to me." He said as moved out of the way; for some reason he sounded like he was disappointed. When he stepped aside I leaned in to have a better view, and when I read what it said, my eyes double in size. I swear if I had my suit with me I've would burn this place down and everyone in it.

"No I won't" I protested. The anger inside keeps rising, and I get contain it much longer. I gripped the side bars of the chair; my teeth become glued together and my eyes filled with anger and misery. I know she's not gone. She's just out there looking for help; she's lost and I can't be here sitting around doing nothing. I need to find her and bring her home. He sighed when I protested, but you can't force someone to say something you don't want to say.

"Tony if you want to get cured you have to-" He had to stop right there. I don't want to be cure, because there's nothing wrong with me what's so ever.

"You're wrong, everyone is wrong. There's nothing wrong with me. I know what I saw, so could everyone stop telling that I'm crazy. I'm not crazy." I yelled but voice crackled, because I was crying. I know it's not the time or place to cry, but I couldn't help it.

"I help you say this," It's so incredible how ignorant people can be. "Say it with me: Pepper is dead." I winced at those words. They felt like venom in my blood. Nothing will make me say those words.

"No I won't" I protested again, but he kept pushing me to say it. I closed my eyes, and tried to block him but it just got worse. Everyone I knew or met kept telling me to get over it and I can't…I just can't. The agony and pain took over and I feel on my hands and knees on the floor.

"Just say it Tony and it will be over." I couldn't stand any of this. I had to release or I was going to explode. I flipped the chair and I threw the table which caused the window to burst. My world had become so violent since her absence, and I knew some part of me was very scared and shaking at my actions. I walked out of his office and out the building; Roberta tried to calm me down, but it didn't work; nothing would work.

It was cold when I went outside, but I eventually adjusted to it. I walked endless blocks until I got home; but as I did I felt as if someone was following me. But like everyone says, I'm just imagining things. Once I exited the city, I was all alone. My legs were hurting but I kept walking; I needed to get to the lab and I find what I can. However, I ended up the floor because I saw her again; I know I'm not dreaming. I locked in a gaze with her, but her eyes looked scared and shell-shocked.

"I saw what you did Tony. I've never seen you like this." I heard her too. Pepper's voice was crackled; I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay when it's not. I tried not to cry; because I know crying won't bring her back.

"Pepper…I'm sorry. I don't know what's coming over me. Please tell me your not gone, that I'm right and everyone else is wrong. Please?" I begged. No one knows how it feels to lose someone you love; especially if they were one of your closest friends. She tried to tell me something, but nothing came out; she couldn't find the right words. I knew what this meant; I just didn't want to believe it.

"You have to listen to me Tony, you have to make sure you trust in no one and don't listen to anyone," she looked over my shoulder; I turn around to see Roberta's car pulling over. "Look I have to go. Just promise me you'll take a deep breath before things like that. You promise?" Her eyes were filled with hope I wasn't going to let her down. She gave me that smile that would always make my day and make me smile too. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but something inside me kept it from coming out. She said she'll me later; I waved when she left and faded away.

"Tony we need talk right now!" Roberta exclaimed to me sternly. I am a dead man now; I don't turn around for this exact reason.

Author's Note: Well it looks like I finished this chapter. Tell me what you think okay. Sorry about the whole P.O.V thing, I just wanted you guys to see it from Tony's P.O.V and show you what he has to do for things like and just how much it affects him as an individual who's close to her. Now that I think about it, I may just do a sequel to this. But I don't know just an idea.

Also tell me if my grammar improved, because my teacher had us power-through one whole week of grammar. Hope ya enjoyed in. Ciao