Didn't think I'd get reviews so quickly! So I guess I should continue? :)
Sam stared at the gun in his hands. His father's voice echoing in his head.
"Shoot me!"
Dean's voice when he did.
"How could you?"
How could you
He looked up when Dean walked out. Dean didn't bother to say anything as he passed him.
"Dean I-" His voice trailed off when he realized that Dean was ignoring him.
With shaking hands Dean called Bobby.
"Bobby, it's Dean...I have some news to tell you." It was than he turned to face Sam when he spoke again. "Dad's dead." The look on his face, the accusation and almost hatred on it was enough to tear Sam apart.
Sam turned away as Dean continued to tell what happened, and continued to stare at his brother, self loathing in his eyes. When Dean hung up he walked back to the building. He paused in front of Sam
"Bobby's coming to help burn and torch the body," he said gruffly. Sam nodded.
"I'm sorry, Dean," he started to say but Dean shook his head. Too many emotions were clouding his judgment. He felt anger at Sammy. Anger as he never felt before. He didn't like that feeling. And he felt pain. Pain for the guilt that Sam must be weighing on his shoulders. But the anger overconsumed the pain and pity he might have been feeling for his brother. He couldn't get that scene out of his head. Sam shooting his father like that. So quickly, so coldly.
"Just don't Sam," he said stiffly. He shook his head and rubbed it with his hand. "Just don't. I just can't...not now. Just, don't."
Sam bit his lip.
"I didn't mean to, you have to believe me..."
"I said DON'T!" Dean shouted. "Right now I can't look at you, Sam. I can't look at you and not see you shooting dad. I can't, so I won't. And I can't talk to you right now because if I do, I'm gonna say something I'm gonna regret. Out of anger. I just...no, not right now. It's too soon."
Sam swallowed.
"I don't know what else to say...."
Dean shook his head.
"There's nothing to say Sam. You killed dad-"
"He told me to!"
"You killed him," Dean repeated. "And I can't change that. I can't change the fact that I watched my brother kill our father."
"He wasn't our father! A demon was posessing him, Dean! I had no choice." Sam was pratically crying as he spoke. Pratically begging. "I had no choice," he repeated, sounding like a lost kid. Dean stared at him.
"Great," he said, his voice thick with sarcasim. "I hope that helps you sleep at night." With that he stalked off. He knew what he said was harsh. Harsher than anything he had ever really said before. But he couldn't help it. This was exactly why he didn't want to talk to Sammy. He was worried about the things he would say at the heat of the moment. He stared at his father's body.
Hours later Bobby's truck pulled up. As he came out it was easy to see how messed up Sam was. Sam had his head hung down, his back hunched over as he sat, the gun at his feet.
"Sam," said Bobby gently. He placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam looked up, his face flushed from crying.
"You heard?" He asked softly and Bobby nodded.
"Well, I heard Dean's version of what happened," he said. "That you shot John. Killed him. He sounded too upset to really talk about what happened. To give much detail."
"Dad kept on telling me to shoot him," Sam snifted. "Over and over in that drill sergeant voice of his. 'Shoot me!' And I couldn't. But than therer was that momen when the demon took control of his body again and rose up and I just pulled. Without thinking I just pulled." He shook his head. "It was an accident," he said, as if trying to reassure himself. "An accident."
"The one time you decided to obey dad," said Dean dryly from behind. "And that was when he asked you to kill him."
Bobby rose instantly at that remark.
"Now look here, boy," he growled. "You're brother's going through hell right now-"
"Oh, and I'm not?!" Dean shot back. "I had to watch my brother kill our father!"
"Think about what Sam's goin' through right now!" Bobby challenged him. "You had to watch your father die? He had to KILL his! And not only that, he had to listen to his telling him to do it! You ought to show a bit more respect or at least understandin' and sympathy for what your brother's goin' through. What if it was you that pulled the trigger?"
"It wouldn't," scoffed Dean.
"No?" Bobby asked. "Are you sure? What if that demon inside of him was hurting Sam? Would you have done it than? If he was hurting Sam?"
"Like he was with you," Sam quickly added, though that might not have been the best thing to do at that moment.
Dean stared at Sam and saw the hurt in his eyes. The pleading for Dean to forgive. But Dean couldn't forgive. Not right now. He shook his head.
"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I just can't. It's to soon. I just, I can't. I can't talk to you right now Sam. Like I said, I can't look at you. And if I can't do that, how can I forgive you? It's just too soon. It's not time."
"When is it ever going to be the right time, Dean? When?" Sam challenged helplessly. Dean shrugged helplessly.
"Maybe never," he said honestly and turned to Bobby. "Are you going to help me or not?"
Bobby sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue and walked into the building.
That was when the tears came. His own brother hated him now. Sam could tell. Dean couldn't even look at him anymore. He truly was a freak. A hated freak too.
And with that he sat back down at the curb of the sidewalk again and buried his head into his arms.
Dean listened to his brother's sobs before shutting the door. He shook his head. A part of him wanted to go out to Sammy and hug him, but it was just too soon. It was just too soon. And a thought terrified him.
Would their relationship ever be like it was again? Or is it ruined? Is this how it's going to be like from now on, forever?
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