Hey guys! I could not believe the response I got from you all! It was unbelievable! I never expected to get that many views, reviews or followers on my first fan fiction post! I'm still on a high from it. :) I know I posting really soon, which I know you'll be happy about, but don't always expect it. I'm going on vacation in about a week, and I'm not sure if theres wifi. But I'll write while I'm there, and I'll try to post when I can before then. I'm really into this, so I think I'll write a lot.
This chapter focuses more on the minds of our favorite characters, which is honestly my favorite thing to read in a story. So, I hope I did alright. Writing about Severus is extremely difficult. Capturing him perfectly is something only JK Rowling can do. But I gave my best effort. I think with practice I'll do a bit better. So be patient I guess? :/
Anyways, your reviews were awesome last time; soooo amazing! Keep up the great reviews, and feel free to give me any constructive criticism. I'd love it just as much as praise!
Well, I'm just blabbering now. Hope you enjoy this installment!
I don't own anything Harry Potter. Only this plot is my own.
Severus Snape groaned at his desk while he planned for another year of teaching Potions. Another year that he had not expected to be on earth. I shouldn't be here. Stupid Granger. But Snape was not being true to himself; he kept denying his feelings ever since he truly noticed her in her sixth year.
Even in the first few years he knew she was different. Hermione was abnormally bright, kind, loyal, even though she was sometimes excruciatingly loyal. And in the last few years, she had become a beautiful woman. Her honey eyes always were so determined in his classroom, and he loved how hard she pushed herself. Only she could stand up to him intellectually. Severus knew he loved her deep inside, probably more than he ever loved Lily.
Their occasional banter was the reason Severus rose from his bed some days. In Granger's sixth year she challenged him many times in the classroom, throwing back insults like it was her job. It made him both angry and entranced with her at the same time. There were a few moments, like when she came to speak to him after class about a paper, where he wanted to just yell at her and kiss her hard on those tantalizing lips. He knew it was wrong to have those feelings for a student, but Severus' heart had been softened to the girl.
And to make things worse, he felt as if he owed everything to her. After she saved his life he knew he was utterly screwed. Severus's love only grew every time he thought about her.
Last month, when McGonagall had told him that the lovely Miss Granger would be coming to teach Muggle Studies this year, he wasn't sure whether he was excited or terrified. Severus never got the chance to thank the girl for everything she'd done for him, so he later became very nervous and with good reason.
Severus's curse had only been taken partially away from him. Hermione had taken only so much away that it just withheld death for a while. Madame Promfrey said she could hold it off for a maximum of four years. And before that time came, Severus had promised himself that he would show his feelings to his lovely Hermione, so that when he was gone, someone could say he wasn't a total bastard his whole life and that yes, Severus Snape did have feelings.
Glancing at the clock, he realized the teachers meeting would begin in about an hour. Severus gasped and jumped from his desk, nerves almost making his knees quake. Snap out of it Snape. You are the dark potions master. Nothing scares you. Ever. She's just some girl. Severus put on his usual stone mask as he returned to his dungeon quarters. But deep in his mind he knew that she wasn't just some girl. She was love itself, and he couldn't die without letting her know it at least once.
Hermione took in her new rooms that McGonagall had taken her to after she'd arrived. She saw a decently sized sitting room with an expansive bookcase. A good thing since Hermione had brought a large portion of her books with. Near it was a large fireplace made of some dark colored stone. A plush, deep green couch was near it and also a perfect, black reading chair and foot rest. Hermione felt at home in this warm atmosphere. There was plenty of space for Hermione to add her own touches, but overall it was similar to how she would have done it.
"It's quite lovely, Professor." Hermione looked over her shoulder and smiled at her old teacher.
"Oh yes. I tried my best to make it homey. I added extra book space because well… If there is anything to know about Hermione Granger, its that she loves reading and learning." The spectacled woman chuckled, then sighed. "Well, I'll leave you to look around at the rest and prepare for tonight."
Professor McGonagall walked over to Hermione and wrapped her arms about her. The older Professor spoke, " I could not be more happy that you are here." Hermione stepped back and put on her best smile.
Once her professor had left the room Hermione instantly flopped onto the lush couch. She pulled her feet close to her and sighed. Guilt washed over her. Hermione had forced Madame Pomfrey not to tell anyone that she had a terminal illness. So, not even McGonagall knew that in a few years time, she'd need to find a new Muggle Studies Professor…
She knew everything would be different if everyone knew. No one would treat her the same anymore. Now, Hermione had to resort to hiding everything inside herself, under a seemingly impenetrable mask of happiness.
Inside, Hermione was breaking. Breaking to let someone know, someone to help her with the burden of coming to grips with dying.
But Hermione still wanted to make the most of every moment that she had left. At the very top of her list was to get to know Severus Snape, and to at least tell him that she loved him. Before I leave this world, someone needs to tell that man that he is loved. Truly loved.
After a time of staring blankly at the ceiling, Hermione grudgingly got up and drug her bags into the bedroom. Again, the color scheme was simple. Deep greens and blues accented the sheets and blankets, and the bed… The bed was a massive, deep brown wood color with intricate ivy details on the headboard. It reminded Hermione of her wand.
On the other side of the room sat a dresser in the same wood color and two doors. Hermione assumed that one lead to a closet and another to a bathroom. She opened one and peeped her head in. Inside a large porcelain bathtub was calling her name. Grabbing a towel and all her toiletries, Hermione headed into the bathroom again and started a bath. When it was bubbling over with steam, she slid in and involuntarily let out a deep sigh. It was a sigh of tiredness, longing and also hope. Tiredness of hiding inside herself, longing to let go, and hope that something would turn out right in her life.
After removing herself from the heavenly water, Hermione put on her best teaching robes and cast a quick drying spell on her hair. Taming her hair still was a challenge sometimes, but usually it would fall naturally into medium sized curls. Thankfully, being older meant the frizziness died down and left a nice shine instead.
Hermione wasn't one to overdue it on the makeup. So, she just put on some light foundation to cover one scar that hadn't gone away fully yet and some peachy lip gloss. Once she was ready, she placed her wand in her pocket and hurried out of her rooms.
While walking at a somewhat slow pace, she suddenly realized who she would be seeing in a matter of minutes. She couldn't help it. Her heart started to pound, she could feel it everywhere in her body. Hermone shook her head. Get a grip Granger. It'll be like any other day around Professor Snape. Hermione huffed and put on a stone face. Of course… You haven't seen him since you left him in the infirmary… And he probably still loathes you.
Hermione wasn't going to let anything stop her. Maybe, if she didn't panic to badly, a civil conversation could be brought up. Without realizing it, she had walked all the way to the staff room. Upon entering, she was met face to face with Madame Pomfrey. Hermione gasped for breath as she was enveloped into a rib-shattering embrace.
"Oh, Hermione! It's wonderful to see you." The elderly woman stepped back and looked her up and down, scrutinizing her every visible inch of skin. When her eyes stopped at her face, Hermione was staring at her with an expression that was questioning the obvious. "I haven't told anyone. I promise, Hermione." She whispered as Professor Flitwick also came in the room and noticed Hermione.
The small Professor waddled over as Madame Pomfrey spoke calmly once more, "We must talk later." Her expression was as if they were speaking about the weather, but Hermione knew that she meant absolute business. The old woman strode off, greeting Professor Sprout with a loud exclaim.
Severus sat in the corner of the room, unmoving. He knew he should be social, but that was never one of his qualities. He was definition of an introvert. He sat pondering what he would say when he was to ever strike up a first conversation with the Granger girl. Stop calling her Granger girl. You know she's more than that. You can't talk like that around her, or she will never stop hating you.
He almost stopped breathing when she walked into the room. She still looked beautiful, maybe even more. Her smile, as she greeted and embraced her previous Professors, was dazzling. He should get up and greet her, but was that to forward? His mind was racing. No. His hard side of his mind said to stay seated. Too soon. She'd talk to you if she actually wanted to. But of course that would never happen…
So, he sat and watched Hermione as she finally took a seat at the head of the room near Flitwick and Vector. He changed his focus of attention onto Professor McGonagall, new Headmaster of Hogwarts, the first female in a long time. Severus was hoping she would drone on for a long time so he could hold off being introduced as deputy head, but the time came and he strode up to the front of the room, hard faced and eyes pierced.
Hermione sat up straighter as she heard his name spoken. She watched, enraptured by his stride to the front. She tried not to stare too intensely at him, but right as he made it to the podium, she noticed him glare right at her. Her whole body shivered. His obsidian eyes bore into hers. Severus's expression was the usual stern, icy glare that Hermione was use to, but she was still shocked that he stared straight at her.
The glance lasted only seconds before he was drawling out in his baritone voice about safety of students. Hermione could tell that he did not exactly love speaking on the subject, but she couldn't help but bathe in his voice. It was honey and wine. Sultry and sexy even when speaking about simple things. She almost didn't notice when he spoke her name.
"Miss Granger has been invited back to Hogwarts, apparently, to teach Muggle Studies. Our prize student from the last seven years." He drawled out sarcastically and emphasized the certain words while he spoke. Hermione stared straight at him when he spoke her name.
While the room clapped for a moment, Severus looked right back at her, this time it was more intense. His thoughts jumbled for a moment when he saw her honey eyes. So warm and inviting. He couldn't stare at her like a young boy, so he jerkily looked at the back of the room and blinked his eyes hard.
After finishing up his speech, Headmaster McGonagall spoke on a few last things such as house unity and encouragement towards students before wishing all the Professors a challenging and fulfilling school year.
Hermione got up and again was swarmed by old Professors greeting and chatting with her. Hermione could be very good at conversation with people, but after a while, it just drained her of energy and a good mood. She longed for the peace and quiet of a book and warm bed. Hermione shook the hand of her last Professor and promised Madame Pomfrey that she would speak with her tomorrow.
Quickly, Hermione rushed towards the door and reached for the handle, but just as she was inches from holding it, a large pale hand beat her to it. Hermione knew those hands, and she immediately tried to breath deeply.
"Well Miss Granger, it seems you aren't the most vigilant of people I've met. Something on your mind?" Severus drawled. He couldn't control his snarkiness towards her. She made him get on edge.
"Well, no. Just a head ache is all, Professor." She lied, but almost stuttered. Severus opened the door and headed out. Hermione panicked and rushed out after him. "Your speech was quite lovely, Professor." That had completely popped out of her mouth, she just wanted to say anything to him.
He slowly turned around and glared at her. "If anything, that speech was dreadful and god knows I didn't want to do it. But dear old McGonagall insisted." He put emphasis on dear.
This flustered Hermione. "Don't be rude to her, Sir. Besides, you should be thankful to her for making you head deputy." Hermione spat back at him.
He stalked over towards her with a heated stare and was just a foot away from her when he stopped. Hermione could feel his breath on her face, "Just because you are now a Professor and are on a somewhat equal level to me, gives you no right to talk back to me, Granger." And with that, he went fuming at himself, and at her, down the halls with his cloak billowing behind him.
Hermione stood frozen for a moment before running to her rooms, almost in tears.
Well, I hope my first attempt at Severus wasn't too ghastly. I'm hoping to keep him still very broody and dark, but Hermione has gotten a special side of him that has been stored up for awhile. I know its there. He loved Lily, cried for her, watched over her son even though he loathed James. I know that Severus Snape has a loving side somewhere. It just deep... really deep. And he has a hard time tapping into it.
-Summer