Special Thanks to SitarLover, Sesshygirl300, Your Alien, ashtar11, xXJuliets SecretXx, Liarsenic, RukiRomance, and Segaaa!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts or any of the characters sadly. Just my own storyline.

Pairings: Pairings are offical. RikuSora, AnsemSora, AxelRoxas, SoraCloud, SoraLeon. Basically SoraxA lot of people. Yeah, I know how bad that sounds.

Warning: This is a Yaoi! And there are many scenes of it. You've been warned.

MOST SPELLING ERRORS SHOULD BE FIXED NOW.

Saying I feel like shit is an understatement.

I've been piteously sick for three days now.

And the worst part is, Cloud doesn't do a thing about it. He doesn't know that my skin is clammy and cold and that I just want to lie curled up in a bundle of sheets. He doesn't understand why I don't want to go anywhere, why I can't just stuff a bunch of tissues into my pocket.

Soup sounds so incredibly soothing to my throat, but there's no food in the house. Not that he needs any. He goes out every night and gets food at the club.

But I can't pin all of that on him, because if it weren't for that forsaken rain, I would be right next to him, dancing, drinking, who knows what else.

But I at least have sense not to go while I am feeling like this.

It's absolute misery. And he just doesn't get it or he doesn't care.

I lay on his couch for the remainder of the week, nose congested, throat scratching unbearably, muscles shaking and entirely spent although I haven't done anything except this. He strokes my shoulder, expecting me to be able to lift my head and acknowledge his presence. But I don't. He leans down and kisses my neck playfully, his hands snaking down my abdomen, intending on arousing me, but I only snap at him.

"I'm not in the mood Cloud. Fuck off."

"Quit acting like a little shit," he curses quietly. He just swears quietly to himself, but loud enough so that I can make out some of his words, and I know he's pissed at me. I haven't gone out, haven't partied. Hell, I'm so sick I haven't even been in bed with him, and he's pissed.

I don't care. I'm tired and weak and I'm sick of him constantly trying to get me in bed in this damn condition.

That's what I am to these people. They want me only as long as I satisfy their hunger for lust. If I don't meet their standards, they're gone.

I hear him slam the door and I know that he's going out to get wasted. He'll come home, indulged out of his mind. And I know exactly what could happen to me if he comes back hammered. He's going to want me. Want my body. And I'm too sick and disgusted to allow him such things. Especially right now.

His annoyance with me is just another reason why I have decided to leave. Leave him. Most, actually, all of my relationships have been about sex. But there's some that keep me interested, at least humoring me and treating me like their boyfriend, not just a one-night stand.

Arms aching and head swimming in a daze, I pick myself up and walk to the kitchen where the phone is.

I guess Riku was right. I always come back to him like some lovesick puppy. It's a sick cycle.

I dial his number, surprised that I don't accidentally press the wrong button. That's how bad my head is spinning.

I know he can make it better. Anything is better than this dump. This place makes me nauseous. It's just dirty and grimy because Leon doesn't take care of it.

Damn. Leon's going to be so pissed when he realizes I am gone for good. I'm probably number one on every single one of my past ex's hit lists with the way I drop everything and take off.

The phone rings. And rings. And rings.

I'm about to hang up, my body shaking more with anger than illness. If he didn't pick up his phone this instant...

"Hello?"

He sounded tired.

"Ri-Riku?"

"Sora? What's wrong?"

This irritates me. So something always has to be wrong for me to call him? Well, I guess things don't change much.

"Can...can you come get me?"

I only hear silence on the other line and I bite my lip fretfully. He's not ready to forgive me yet. I know I wouldn't be. But if he said no it would be...so unlike him.

I sound like a terrible person again. I use his affection against him.

"Sure. I'm on my way."

An enormous weight lifts off of my shoulders. I feel the corners of my dry lips twitching. I don't say thank you because he hangs up before I have time to catch my breath, but it's a mutual consent.

I slowly gather my bag and fill it with the clothes of mine that Cloud has strewn around his damn apartment. Some of them are musty, and still smell like sex. I wrinkle my nose with distaste and find a plastic bag to put those ones in.

I may be a sex addict, but I'm also a hygienic. Almost a weird, ironic contradiction.

I only have to wait twenty minutes before I hear the horn honk abruptly. I exhale slowly, chancing a glance around the apartment. It smells and it's crummy and unkempt and I know without another backwards glance that I won't miss it here.

As soon as I get into the car, before I even have a chance to shut the door, his hand is pressed against my damp forehead. His touch is chilling and serene. I sigh, letting my head rest against the seat and closing my eyes.

I feel the car whip out of the parking lot. And still I don't open my eyes. His hand has left my forehead, but he rests it against my arm. God. I love him so much that I can't stand it. He's everything I need. He knows what makes me click, what gestures calm me.

We don't need to speak. That's part of the bond that is knotted around us.

But sometimes, there are things that you can't leave unsaid.

"Riku?"

"Hm?"

I open my eyes barely and turn my head so that I can see his face. "I'm sorry...about...you know."

Damn. It's hard to apologize. To him of all people.

To my relief, he nods his head and I can see a tiny smirk playfully tug at the corners of his lips.

We reach home, wow, I even call his place my own, without another word to each other. The car ride has only made me dizzier. I swear I can't remember the last time I felt so under the weather. Ha! The weather, that's what I can blame this on. Not my stupidity or our pointless argument. Just the weather.

Immediately, Riku fabricates a makeshift bed on the couch, so that I can watch television instead of stare boredly at the bland walls of his room. He makes me soup. What did I say before? He knows exactly how to make me feel better.

In three minutes, I'm laying comfortably in his lap, a clear plastic bowl of soup balanced across my waist, his arms stroking my shoulders with such delicate ease that he doesn't seem capable of.

I'm still feeling guilty, but he refuses to let me voice my apologies. It's kind of cliché to say that as soon as I got to Riku's, I began feeling better, but it's true.

I yawn inaudibly, stretching my arm to set the empty bowl onto the coffee table and I miss. The bowl and spoon clatters to the floor, the few remains of the soup spilling across the rug. Damnit. Now there's soup on the floor.

I start to get up, knowing how much of a disinfected clean freak Riku is, but his arms draw me back into the warmth of his chest.

"Don't worry about it," he whispers, and hand reaching to stroke my cheeks. "You need to rest."

He's too good for me.

I sigh, my eyes closing, but I can't sleep. At least not in this position. I roll around carefully, watching where my legs and arms are going so I don't accidentally jab an elbow into his ribs or knee him. I stop so our chests are pressed together and I lay my cheek in the crook of his neck. I feel his arms tighten around me and I feel safe, protected.

I'm enveloped by this reassuring sense of security. Riku is always there for me, open arms, gentle words.

"Are you asleep?" he asks quietly, gently prodding me.

"Not yet."

I feel the steep rise and fall of his breath and I can dimly hear his steady heartbeat. When he speaks, his voice reverberates through his torso.

"School starts up tomorrow," he finally says, and I'm aware of the turmoil in his voice. I'm almost positive that he wants to say something else.

"Fuck." I let a small groan escape. School itself isn't too terrible, but the people are. I guess most of the drama and gossip that follows me around is my own fault. Most everyone knows that I get around a lot. It doesn't affect my popularity.

Our group of friends basically rule the school. There's me and Riku, Kairi, Namine, Terra, Yuffie, Tidus, Wakka, Selphie...and so many others that I can't possibly keep count of. Most of our clique has become indifferent to mine and Riku's struggling relationship.

Funnily enough, we started dating three years ago right before our freshman year. We lasted a year without rough fights, but that's when we started heading straight for the gutter. At least I did.

Being together was like a damn roller coaster, up and down, rickety. I just wished I could get off, but it never stopped.

He smirks, his lips caressing my forehead. He doesn't dare kiss me while I'm sick. I don't blame him.

"You think you'll make it a whole year?"

I glare at him defiantly, scowling. Two months of my junior year left, and I ditched. Sometimes I was with Cloud...most of the time I was out with my boyfriend of the week. Somehow, I miraculously managed to maintain a passing grade in all of my classes and I was allowed to advance to my final year.

We had fought almost everyday during those two months. He was pissed that I was screwing up my life and I was pissed at him for caring.

I could honestly say that I had enough sense to shy away from drugs for the time being. The drinking, not so much. But Riku, at least to my knowledge, had no idea that I had done that. And I was not planning on letting him ever figure that out about. I was always with someone when I did let loose. Not that that was much better.

I sighed, nestling my nose more comfortably into his neck, drinking in his intoxicating smell, even though I was so stuffed up it really made no difference. I felt his fingers tousle through my spiky locks. I enjoyed these kinds of moments, where sex was the last thing on our minds, where we could just slumber in each other's arms securely. This was how it used to be, how it ought to be between us.

"Riku?" I mumble, eyes struggling against the exhaustion that I was feeling. Riku's bones were enticing me to sleep.

"Hm?"

"Are we together again?"

The fingers in my hair stopped and I inhaled sharply. Way to ruin a good moment. Fuck. I always screw these things up. I mentally curse myself. Why the hell would Riku want to jump a cliff with me again after knowing that I always leave him drowning?

"Only if you want to be," he murmurs against my forehead.

Of course he would say it like that. But I don't complain. For the time being, I'm perfectly content with this.

This is how I move on. This is how I get around. Something doesn't work out, I'm long gone down the road with someone else. I'm like a prize that is handed out to which ever lucky guy I fancy. And if it's not someone new, it's Riku.

What a sick cycle.

I had caught a pretty ruthless cold that finally began waning off after a few more days. Just in time for school.

I couldn't say I was overwhelmingly happy with Riku, because I constantly wanted someone new, a new sensation, a new experience to drive me over a bridge, so to speak. But I was content with him.

I still loved him.

But I was consciously aware of what school meant. It meant new people, new faces, a grand old opportunity for me to experiment more.

I couldn't be anymore restless for the first day so I could scope out someone to take Leon's place. Once again, I know that sounds bad, but is it?

I guess this is just my twisted mind talking.

I think Riku knew all the possibilities that my mind was weighing subconsciously, because he getting annoyed at the lack of attention I threw his way. The arm around the shoulder and chaste kiss on the lips weren't enough. That was another reason I could never stay with him for too long. Things became...too comfortable, like nothing was going to change. I wanted change. Desperately.

Finally, Riku resorted to the one thing he knew could draw my mind away from another someone.

It was that damn three-letter word that got me going in a love drunk frenzy. Sex.

My legs were curled over his shoulders as he guided his cock deep into my heat, causing my body to spasm with pleasure and pain alike. His lips brushed mine for a breath of a second, his eyes half-lidded, icy aqua pupils still gazing lovingly into my eyes. His hands never stopped their roaming pace, fingers pressing my abs and rubbing down the length of my torso.

His mouth divulged onto my own hardened erection and I cried out his name with a shaky breath. His tongue licked the underside of my shaft, following the large vein underneath to the sensitive slit of the head. His tongue dipped into the thin crevice and I lost any sense of who I was and what I was doing. My hips bucked into his awaiting hands, his thrusts heightened to a rushed pace.

His hands raked down my back as I yelped, spilling semen into his mouth seconds before he releases himself into me. He removes his mouth, sides heaving, ribs protruding through. We're both panting, a thin sheet of sweat covering our exhausted bodies. He pulls out, groaning at the compressing muscles against his length.

He's careful to fall beside me on his bed. I'm on my back, legs still spread eagle and he's on his stomach, grinning tiredly as he ruffles my cinnamon-brown hair. His fingers stroke the back of my neck where the gauze had been removed. The cut had nearly healed. I don't even know how I got it. I had been hit in the face and chest, not the neck, but I don't care.

"We smell," I finally say, breaking the silence with a wrinkle of my nose. I can hear him chuckling beside me.

"Shower?"

"Dibs," I demand, slowly sitting up. I shake my sweaty bangs from my line of sight.

"It's my house," he argues. I can still catch the hint of laughter in his voice.

"I'm your guest."

"You live here, smart-ass," he retorts, standing to his feet and halfway across his room before I have time to shoot back an insult. I cross my arms, scowling.

"Sometimes."

He rolls his eyes and I realize how lucky I am that my snide remark wasn't taken further. Riku seemed to have noticed it too because he sighed.

I couldn't help but stare at his stark naked body. He was pale, but his body rippled with bulging muscles. His silver hair danced across his shoulders, slightly limp due to sweat. His bangs are covering his eyes.

"You coming?" he asks, breaking me out of my lustful stupor. I shake my head, eyes narrowing.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He shrugs and that pisses me off. Once again, he knows how I click. He knows that I was expecting him to play the guilty one for the night. He wasn't going to.

"I offered. You can either take it or leave it."

With that, he switches on the warm bathroom light and turns on the shower. I hear the nozzle sputter slightly before a steady waterfall cascades against the tiled wall. I know when he decides to step inside, because the gentle rap against the wall dulls.

That jackass. He purposely left the door open as an invite. And he knew I wasn't strong enough to resist his boggling body in a mask of steam. I growl under my throat, knowing that he has the best of me tonight.

Then I figure, I just play along. I'll play his little game. He deserves something for saving me from the gang and for sucking up his ego and bringing me home from Leon's.

I wonder what he's thinking. I've been gone the entire weekend. I didn't leave a note and I won't call. He probably won't care. I was just a fad for him. Not that it bothers me, because that's exactly how I see him.

I follow Riku into the shower, but my mind just really isn't focused on him or our bodies, lathered with soap. My thoughts fast forward to the anticipation of the first day of school. I'm already preparing myself for the torments and questioning looks I'm going to get, walking in with Riku again.

It's like the whole school knows about our little scenario. And everyone pitied him. They just rolled their eyes at me. Who cared? I was a whore, well except I didn't get money, I just got an enjoyable one-night stand.

Kairi wouldn't be surprised that we were back together again;Terra would shoot me reproachful glares because he absolutely despised what I did to Riku.

He was just a damn jealous friend because Riku had no other eyes for anyone but me.

I didn't mind that.

I was sincerely hoping that the good would outweigh the bad for school. Sure, I would have to deal with demoralizing taunts from people I didn't even know and whispers behind my back, but I had long ago learned that words were just words. Not actions.

Besides, I kind of needed a new dating life. Someone more my age. Fucking Cloud was twenty-four.

Damn. I had only started becoming interested with the older guys over the summer. That was because I spent so much time at the club and so little time with my friends.

The club. It's kind of a mystery how I've gotten away with getting in there. Remember what I said? I look fourteen if I'm lucky. Somehow I always managed to sneak in. Of course, sometimes I had to...you know, sleep with the guys that ran the place so I wouldn't get in trouble.

That was something else Riku didn't know.

He knew my mind was elsewhere, so he didn't try and engage me further. We showered, dried off with a towel, and literally collapsed into bed.

He intertwined our fingers together, his thumbs stroking my palm.

We were content in silence, and I didn't feel much like talking anyways. I was half-dreading school tomorrow.

"Everything will be fine," he spoke suddenly.

It's freaky how he almost reads my mind like some kind of psychic.

I roll my eyes at him, not glaring really. I don't want to make him mad. I don't have anywhere else to stay.

I don't answer. I close my eyes and sink into a restless slumber, turning over on my side, feet kicking sporadically.

Morning can't come soon enough. But when early sunrays start sneaking into the room, I've barely caught any sleep.

I clamp my eyelids tightly, attempting to block out the morning rays. Right on cue, I feel a hand shaking my shoulders gently.

"Sora, it's time to get up."

I groan, lamenting over his intrusion.

"Sora, come on!" His voice is harsher this time.

"Fuck off," I utter nearly incoherently.

I feel a pillow smack me upside the face and I open my eyes, glaring daggers at him.

His silky hair is already combed through, and he looks like he's already dressed for school. He catapults another pillow at me.

"Okay! I'm up!" I protest.

I rub my eyes, arduously waking myself up, stretching my sore muscles and yawning inaudibly.

I'm like an unresponsive zombie in the mornings. When we were first together, Riku tried to talk me out of my daze or make me a cup of coffee or something, but it was useless. I would only grunt in reply and ignore him. He was lucky if he managed to get two, complete sentences out of me.

This morning was no different. It took me ten minutes before I realized that my shirt was on backwards and that it would probably do me justice to slip on a pair of boxers under my jeans. Riku was downstairs, dressed in slack blue jeans and a button-down long sleeve flannel shirt.

He already had a small cappuccino mug waiting for me. I stiffly sat down at his breakfast bar, chin resting carefully on the rim of the mug, allowing the aroma to fill my nose and rousing my senses.

"You awake yet?" he smirked, book bag already slung coolly across his shoulder.

"Getting there." Two words out of me. Still a fragmented sentence. He gave me precisely three minutes to finish my drink and grab my bag before checking the clock on the stove.

He ignored my grumbling as he gingerly tugged my arm.

"Come on, we need to go," he said urgently, ushering me outside to the driveway where his Honda Civic was sitting, rumbling smoothly as we clamored into the silver car.

Anticipation is the absolute worst. I braced myself for the stares and the gossip, but not for Kairi's obnoxious declaration to the entire freaking school.

The millisecond we walk through the double doors to the gym, fingers interlocked, her eyebrows raised and she announces, "Together again? What's that the...forth...no, maybe the fortieth time?"

I glare at the perky redhead, her hands folded behind her back, her head cocked to the side like a young girl.

"It's none of your fucking business what-"

A hand quickly guards my mouth and I crane my neck, growling at Riku. He gives me this irritating knowing look. Kairi gives me this wide grin and she rings me around the neck, soft hands disheveling my already unruly hair.

"I've missed you too, Sora," she says. My anger with her dissolves and I sigh, returning her hug. I have missed her. Flamboyant and giddy; she's an instant favorite within our group of friends.

She lets go and leads Riku and I towards the other side of the gym where the rest of our expanded group is sitting. Our school is strange because the first day, we all report to the gym where school guidelines and policies are going to be explained. The administrators will drone on for the good half of an hour before we are dismissed to our homeroom classes for our schedule.

A group of them are already huddled in the center floor of the gym.

There's Roxas, a close replica of myself. Same size, same eyes. But he's blonde, pale, and still a virgin. Along with his boyfriend, Axel. Axel reminds me closely of Riku, what with his size and demeanor. He has spiky red hair that juts out behind him. They've been together for over a year, and I don't see how they do it.

At first, Riku and I stood on some kind of pedestal, our relationship defined as the perfect couple. Axel and Roxas have taken our place. People don't even consider our faces any longer.

Then there was Namine. She was probably my favorite out of the entire batch. She was Roxas's older sister, though she could get by as his twin. She had the same blonde hair and pale skin. But she was quiet, good-natured, and minded her own business.

She knew everything about what went on between me and Riku, which was no surprise because everyone did, but she kept to herself.

Then there was Terra. Oh Terra. Riku's wonderful, overbearing best friend. He had a secret love interest for Namine, though with her adherence, she must have known that. He had rusty brown hair that spiked backwards. He was currently leaning over her shoulder, admiring her handiwork. Namine was a prestigious artist, the best in the school.

There were so many of them that I knew and spoke to, but never really hung out with. There was Xion and Tifa, a pretty tomboy with long, raven hair, Ventus, a freshman love interest, Tidus and Wakka and Selphie, the three musketeers, all two years younger than us and more talkative and chatty than all of us seniors put together, and then two new people that I had never seen before.

One was a pretty girl with cropped brown hair that framed her face. She was wearing a charcoal tanktop and shorts. Se was being engaged in a conversation with Kairi, who seemed determined to get her and the other guy acquainted with everyone. The guy had dark brown spikes that jutted out in every direction, although not as disarrayed as mine, and stern piercing blue eyes, a small scowl across his lips. I could visibly see his muscular build underneath the white shirt he was wearing.

There was something almost mystifying by him, like he was hard to please, and cold, but I was instantly intrigued. "Who is that?" I asked, biting my tongue as a hint of hunger slipped by my teeth.

Kairi straightened, eyes narrowed toward me. She beckoned Riku and me towards the two new students. As we approached them, I got a better look of the boy's muscles. His face was lean with a pointed jaw. My hands left Riku's grip suddenly as I unconsciously brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

"This is Yuffie and Squall," she introduced us. "They're new here."

"Leon," he corrected her, his tone serious and monotone, the severity taking her aback.

Shit. He was really handsome.

But what if they were together? I bit my tongue. With the way my morning was going so far, that would be just my luck.

"They're best friends," Kairi mentions, almost as if she can read my mind.

"Nice to meet you," Riku, better mannered, said, offering his hand to both of them. I was seething like a jealous madman on the inside as the new boy's hand clasped Riku's.

And I wasn't jealous because of Riku.

I was jealous because it wasn't my hand.

I'm an awful person for this. This is why I hate myself, because I can't help my wanton need.

The guy, Leon, was hot. No other word to describe it. No other discreet way of saying it. And he was new, meaning he was completely oblivious to my selfish antics. He was going to be the breath of fresh air that I needed.

He was what I had been anticipating all morning long.

Orginally had Sora paired with Terra this chapter, but I changed it because Cloud and Sora just sounds better, and Terra's not as popular a character. So Cloud was perfect. Let me know what you think. This story's updates will take longer than what I usually produce, because I have other priorities over it, unfortunately. But I'm not abandoning it. Please review. All the favorite stories and story alerts don't match up, haha. Please review. I'm going to make sure the anonymous review option is up as well. But yeahhh, I need reviews to go on. Anything, thoughts, concerns, errors I've made. Thanks! blahblahblah