Dorian looked up from his book to stare suspiciously at Bull. He'd been too quiet for too long, akin to a small child going silent after committing a misdemeanant crime. To his relief, he didn't see any broken things with a light glance. But he did catch him staring fixatedly at his bed.
"Bull, you look as if you'd like to conquer my bed. What's it ever done to you?"
"Oh. Uh, no. Nothing. No, of course not." Bull whipped his head around, eyes guilty. He just barely avoided hitting his horns on a ceiling beam, and Dorian narrowed his eyes. Bull almost never hit things with his horns.
"Quite the stink-eye you've got going, Dorian."
"Can you blame me? You were definitely thinking something. Something that I won't approve of." Dorian put aside his book and crossed his arms.
"You've never complained about what I thought of those previous nights," Bull grinned, and Dorian did his best to suppress the memories of their previous nights together. Reliving those memories did nothing to help his cause.
"I didn't ever say I approved of it." He huffed.
"I'm just thinking, Dorian. Say, let's try something new."
"Things never turn out well when you say that!"
"Things always turn out well, when I say that. Unless you're drapes," he chuckled and Dorian flushed.
"I know you've been stoking those fires, big guy. Been a while since we had any quiet to… explore. We need to stretch you out again. So, let's use that."
Bull pointed at his bedpost.
His bedpost.
No, really. Sincerely. His bedpost.
"Vishante kaffas, absolutely not!" Dorian swore. That… that thing was huge! It was his bed! It was… well, it was… it was a bedpost! He refused to have a… a… bedpost up his behind! Venhedis, to even bring up such a notion! This… this Qunari!
"Aw come on, Dorian. It'll be just like last time. Try the forbidden, explore the depths of Qunari depravity. Give in to the unknow."
"Don't talk so grand, Bull! It just boils down to you want to shove a bedpost up my arse!"
"It's smaller than I am," he shrugs.
"Yes, but…"
"What is so wrong with getting you stretched out with it? How's it any different?"
"I… well, that's…"
It was very big, but true, Bull was bigger. It would do well to prepare him before Bull plowed in. It was made of solid wood, and…
Bull rubbed the small spherical top, holding his gaze.
"It's polished, it won't hurt you. It'll feel good. Trust me, Dorian."
"But I…"
"Dorian," Bull rumbled, low in his throat.
"Oh, fine. Have it your way, you oaf. Fasta vass, festis bei umo canavarum!"
"And Dorian?"
"Yes?"
"Can I tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip?"
"No. You may not."
"That's a yes, right?"
Dorian sighed.