"Ugh. I don't understand what she's still doing here. She's nothing but a drain on our resources at this point! Why doesn't Smokestar just exile her?"
"You know he won't do that. He's been thirsty for Heatherleaf ever since she was made a warrior. Not even her current state would put him out of that."
"Yeah, but like, it's not as if he has a chance with her or anything. Her heart is still stuck on that other warrior that disappeared... What was his name, again?"
The two warriors continued to banter over their fresh-kill, but Tigerthorn was no longer listening. He had been hearing such talk about his mother more and more frequently in the recent moons, but for whatever reason, he could not find himself able to say anything about it.
As painful as they were, their words were true, after all. Tigerthorn couldn't remember the last time Heatherleaf had joined a patrol, or brought back a piece of fresh-kill to the Clan. She may as well have been an elder.
The brown tom inhaled deeply, trying to stifle out the sound of the nearby conversation from his mind. Looking at the fresh-kill pile a few fox-lengths away, he noticed a rather tasty-looking squirrel on top. He silently padded over and picked up the prey with his jaw, the furs tickling the tip of his tongue.
Let's see if Heatherleaf feels like eating today.
As he walked over to the warriors' den, he could feel some of the other warriors shooting glances at him; as if they were scorning him for what he was doing. He tried his best to ignore them, but the piercing eyes continued to jab at his heart until he had made his way completely through the den entrance.
In front of him lay a single she-cat, who gave no visible acknowledgement to his arrival. The shape of her bones was clearly visible underneath her dull, unkempt lavender fur, and her eyelids drooped as if she hadn't slept in days.
"Hello, Mother...?" Tigerthorn mewed quietly, placing the squirrel next to Heatherleaf. "I've brought you something to 's a squirrel... your favourite."
Heatherleaf turned her head slightly, but never looked directly at Tigerthorn or the squirrel.
"Thank you," she muttered in a raspy voice.
Tigerthorn continued to stand next to Heatherleaf to see if she would make a move for the squirrel; but after what had felt like moons, she still hadn't moved a single claw or whisker.
Dismayed, he sat himself down on the nest in front of her, his tail wrapping neatly around his paws.
"Mother, please... You can't keep doing this to yourself. You're an amazing warrior, and I know that a part of you still wants to help the Clan. But I can only do so much to help you."
"You're wasting your time," Heatherleaf growled. "I don't even deserve to still be here. You've heard the other warriors talk."
"Mother, I'm sure that none of them actually mean it! Deep down, they still respect you for who you are! None of us want you to go through all this!"
"Elmpaw would," whispered Heatherleaf, a mix of anger and sadness in her voice. "He's probably wishing that I was dead right now; if he's not already dead himself."
Tigerthorn felt like he had been stabbed. He never thought he would see the day when his mother would say such a thing. Was there really nothing he could do to help her?
"I do not believe that is true for even one instant!" Tigerthorn pleaded, trying his best to sound as convincing as possible. "Elmpaw is still out there somewhere, I can feel it! And I know that he wouldn't want this any more than the rest of us do!"
"Then why hasn't he come back?!" Heatherleaf cried, suddenly staring at Tigerthorn with damp eyes. "The only reason he's gone is because I made him hate me! I wasn't even a proper mother to him! I don't even deserve to have him come back!"
"Yes, you do!" Tigerthorn meowed in a voice that was more assertive than he intended it to be. "It doesn't matter what any cat thinks. You're still his mother, and nothing will ever change that! You, me, Elmpaw, even our father; we're all still a family. And families share a special bond that can never be broken!"
Heatherleaf was staring at the ground again; Tigerthorn wasn't sure if she was even still listening, but he didn't care.
"You paid more attention to me because I needed your help. You only did what you thought was right!"
"How does that change anything? It doesn't matter if I thought it was right, because it wasn't! I failed as a mate, and now I've failed as a mother!"
Despite how much his heart ached to see his mother in such distress, Tigerthorn couldn't think of anything to say anymore. He was afraid that his efforts were only making things worse.
"Please..." Heatherleaf continued. "Just... promise me this, Tigerthorn... Promise me that you won't leave like he did... And promise that you won't do anything rash or bold; and that includes trying to look for Elmpaw. I don't want to lose you, too..."
The request caught Tigerthorn off guard. He knew that he would not leave Heatherleaf behind for anything, and he had always assumed that Heatherleaf knew that, too. But nothing was certain anymore; Tigerthorn would have to be prepared for anything.
"You have my word, Mother. I swear on my life that I will never leave you."
There was no response from Heatherleaf after that, leaving Tigerthorn in a haunting silence. A small part of him was afraid that she didn't believe his promise... but that wouldn't make it any less true.
"Well... I have a border patrol to join right now, so... I'll see you tonight, Mother."
With nothing else to do, Tigerthorn pushed his way through the bushes at the den entrance, the squirrel he had left still perfectly undisturbed beside Heatherleaf's nest.