Sasuke's Akatsuki Adventures

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. Please keep in mind that this fic is intended to be rather silly, but it might get more serious later. With that in mind, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 2

A few minutes later, Naruto had to say that the Akatsuki as they called themselves were completely crazy. Crazy, but brilliant.

"So you're just going to knock on the door and then they're going to ambush the place?" Naruto looks around at the rather diverse group. "Well, I have to give you points for originality, but I'm kinda on a mission here too."

The sexy vampire nods at him in understanding. That family had some damn good genes. Seriously, Naruto couldn't really get over it.

Itachi smiles at the blond. "That's fine." The bloodsucker still looks disturbingly cheerful to Naruto. "I wanted to have him sent back to Kakashi anyway and I know that's who sent you."

That was freaky. Of course, the Kitsune knew that vampires were definitely power players in the supernatural community. Usually though, they couldn't actually read minds.

"Alright." Naruto nods at that. "So I'll help you guys save Sasuke's sexy ass and then with any luck, I'll get to grope said ass on the way back to Kakashi's."

Itachi smacks him upside the head for that. Normally, Naruto would have been angry at being hit. Though in hindsight, he should have seen that one coming. The vampire was Sasuke's apparently very overprotective brother. So he'd let that one slid.

"Stop talking about my brother in such a crude fashion." Itachi clucks his tongue disapprovingly at Naruto. "It's positively vulgar and I won't stand for it."

Kisame just grins at that. "Don't let him fool you." He winks. "Itachi usually likes vulgar. Otherwise, he wouldn't belong to me."

Whoa. Naruto hadn't seen that one coming. So the sexy vamp and whatever the merman were together? Talk about opposites attracting.

Itachi glares at the other supernatural being. "I suppose that introductions are in order." He quickly starts pointing to everyone and giving their names, before ending with his lover. "This is Kisame and despite the fact that he has a habit of putting his fins in his mouth, he is my lover."

They definitely bickered like an old married couple. It was amusing, but Naruto didn't care about that stuff. Love was love.

"Yes, I know that Itachi likes them on the exotic side." The angel shakes her head. "For now though, we've got more important things to focus on."

She was pretty, but the genie definitely wasn't letting go of her waist anytime soon. "Correct." Nagato's lavender eyes were glaring at Naruto like he wanted to rip his head off just for daring to look at his angel. "Shall we get going?"

The jealous bastard was right though. They did need to focus, if they were going to save Sasuke's obscenely hot ass from the creep. That was the nickname that Naruto had mentally given to Orochimaru.

"Tobi is a good boy, but Tobi is worried." A vampire with an orange mask looks at the mansion anxiously. "What are we going to do about the guards?"

Deidara just grins as he shows a lot of clay in his hands. "Don't worry." Which probably was enchanted. "Art is an explosion and will get their attention. Yeah?"

Great. The clay must have been some kind of explosive. Well, whatever worked.

"Well, I can have some grass wrap around them." Zetsu nods thoughtfully. "So that will slow them down a bit and Kisame can obviously handle the lake."

Now, they were talking. Though Naruto had to admit Zetsu was the strangest looking wood nymph that he had ever seen. Then again, Kakuzu was a six foot leprechaun. So yeah, he wasn't going to judge.

Hidan frowns and for a moment, he was disturbingly quiet. "I'd say send Fluffy to deal with them, but Sasuke doesn't know him and might not come."

Fluffy? Naruto twitches at that. That mangy werewolf had definitely not called him that!

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki." It was the name that Sasuke would be screaming later. "You're an idiot, but I guess it'd be best if Itachi knocked."

Sasuke seriously thought Itachi was some kind of murderer. So he'd chase after the older vampire. Which would give them plenty of opportunity to grab him.

"He's right." Sasori nods. "We've got a plan." Naruto wasn't really sure what the red head was, but obviously he was magical somehow. "Let's try not to get anyone killed and it'd probably be best, if someone knocked Sasuke out."

Now it was Naruto's turn to frown. He didn't like the thought of someone knocking out the gorgeous baby (well fledgling) vamp unconscious. It might be the only way to keep him safe though.

"Got it." Naruto gives them all dark looks. "Don't be any rougher than you have to be. The poor guy is probably going to wake up terrified out of his mind."

Buzz. Buzz! Buzz! Orochimaru sighs as he stops on his way to see Sauske. His damn cell phone was going off like crazy and that could only mean one thing.

"I'm a little busy." The vampire sighs as he answers. "Is this urgent?" Danzo was calling him.

Of course, he was doing his best to hide his disgust from the other man. The two of them were business partners, but that didn't mean that Orochimaru particularly cared for him.

Some colorful swearing is heard on the other side of the line. "I don't give a damn." This must be serious. "I have reports that Kakashi was spotted talking to a kitsune a short while ago." The fossil almost never cursed.

Hmm. That was interesting though. A kitsune, huh? He hadn't encountered one of those in awhile.

"Well, good for Kakashi." The ashen skinned vampire laughs. "Everyone should be so fortunate. You know, I've always been rather fond of them." Unfortunately, it was unlikely he'd ever catch one. "It's a shame that they're so good at Hide and Seek."

There was an irritated growl on the other end of the line. "I didn't call you to discuss your supernatural fetishes." Right because Danzo was never any fun. "I called you because it's likely Kakashi is paying the fox to 'rescue' Sasuke."

Damn it. Hmm. Well that just wouldn't do at all. Oh well. Orochimaru knew exactly what to do if that did indeed turn out to be the case.

"Well, thank you for the warning." He smiles into the phone. "Though I'm quite certain that I can handle it and as an added bonus, I'll add a kitsune to my collection."

There was more swearing. "You're a fucking idiot!" Hmm. The fossil did seem especially riled up today. "It was a golden kitsune!"

Oh. Well that changed things dramatically. This could actually be dangerous.

"How many tails?" Orochimaru tilts his head thoughtfully into the phone. "I've got quite a large coven here. I'm sure that we can handle even a six or seven tailed kitsune relatively easily."

There was a pause and the vampire could feel Danzo's killer intent radiating on the phone. "He's got nine damn tails." This wasn't good. "So you better prepare for one Hell of an assault!"

Nine tails. Kitsune power was easily judged. A one tailed kitsune was well just cute. Hardly a threat to anyone, unless they happened to outsmart them. A nine tailed kitsune was practically a god or goddess of destruction when provoked though.

"I'll see what I can do." With that being said, Orochimaru hangs up and heads towards Kabuto. "KABUTO, we need to make preparations. We're likely going to be attacked soon."

His first instinct was to flee, but Orochimaru never got the chance. That's when the door bell rang on the other side of the mansion and he curses.

"Sasuke is on that side." Damn it! "I'M COMING, SASUKE! DON'T ANSWER THAT DOOR!" Orochimaru races towards his favorite fledgling, but he had no way of knowing if he would be too late or not.

Itachi waits outside the door was the assault starts. Kisame was making the waters rise to unbelievably high levels and now it was rushing towards the windows.

He wasn't the only one showing off those. "Art is an explosion!" The psychotic fairy was high in the sky and throwing his clay bombs everywhere.

It was strangely beautiful, but also annoying. Did Deidara not know the meaning of the word discretion? Apparently, he did not.

That's when dozens of supernatural beings started making their way out of the mansion. Konan was ready for them though. The angel dives down and slams into several of them.

"Get away from my wife!" Nagato was well, Nagato.

Gods and Goddesses help anyone who was foolish enough to get near that Genie's woman. He was hurling stakes at their hearts that he had just created at the drop of a hat.

"There are definite advantages to having a genie for a friend." Itachi muses.

Now, where was Kakuzu. He might be able to find Sasuke faster for them. He was a leprechaun.

"Sasuke is coming towards the door." Kakuzu seems to almost read Itachi's mind. "So you better be ready to grab him." He sends several rainbows at their enemies, blinding a few of them for a few crucial seconds.

Yes, Sasuke was coming towards them. He'd be there soon and then, he'd get sent right back to Kakashi. He must never be allowed to know the truth.

"Your brother is a newborn vampire." Danzo walked towards Itachi. "You understand why the rest of your family had to die, do you not? He doesn't have to."

Their Coven was dead. Danzo had somehow stolen all their daylight rings and made sure they were outside when the light came up. An army had made sure of that.

Itachi snarled at the old man. "You were worried that our family was becoming too influential." There might have been merit to that idea, but at the moment Itachi wanted nothing more than to rip his head off. "Because we are the descendants of Madara and Izuna. What do you think will happen to you when Madara finds out about this?"

Their ancestor would mount his head and guts all over the place. There would be tales written about whatever vile manner of death he undoubtedly subject Danzo to.

"Madara hasn't been seen in centuries." He smirked at Itachi. "As you know the only 'real' sightings of him have been Obito in reality." Damn him. "If you're hoping for him to save you and Sasuke, I wouldn't hold your breath."

Itachi lunged at Danzo, but the man threw holy water at him. It was like acid. The liquid burned straight into his face and made him howl in pain. Still, Itachi tried to murder him in vain. A witch stopped him though.

One he recognized from ancient magical texts. "What do you mean that Madara hasn't been sighted for centuries?!" She was also pissed.

"Oh…we'll, don't worry." Danzo smiled at her. "We will find him. I brought you back. Anything is possible."

Kaguya. A powerful witch who had fallen in love with a vampire and created the Fountain of Youth.

"I want my son back!" She snarled.

Madara wasn't actually her son, but he was the reincarnation of her son. Which apparently was close enough for the woman. Not that it got her far. Danzo quickly summoned her heart out of her body and she stopped moving.

"Women are such emotional creatures." Danzo smiled at him. "No matter their age. Now as I was saying, I'm willing to make you a deal."

What could he say to that? He could control Kaguya. The most powerful witch to have ever lived and also the mother of their Clan in a way.

"I'm listening." Itachi grimaced.

So that's how it happened. Itachi had promised to take the fall as long as Sasuke was spared. Everything had been 'fine' until Sasuke went to Orochimaru and Itachi knew he had to act.

One minute Sasuke had been arguing with Sugietsu and Karin and the next, it sounded like bombs were going off. Naturally, Sasuke did the only thing that a fledgling vampire could do in his situation. He ran towards the source of the noise to see what the Hell was going on.

"Sassy, wait!" Suigetsu tries to chase after him.

So did Karin and Suigetsu. That didn't stop him. He needed to see what was going on and once got the door open, he gasps. Could any of this really be happening?

"It's been a long time." Itachi smiles at him. "Foolish little brother."

A werewolf, angel, dark fairy, wood nymph, merman, angel, genie, and Gods and Goddesses only knew what else were outside clashing with Orochimaru's forces. That and Itachi was standing right in front of him as if this was all normal.

"Yes, it has been." His fangs elongate. "You must have a death wish coming here and bringing those freaks with you."

Sasuke couldn't think. All he could do was see red as he rushes straight at Itachi. Today would be the day that the abomination died. He would make sure of it.

"Sasuke, it's not very nice to judge people based on their species." Itachi had the audacity to dodge him.

That was fine though. "Sasuke, get away from him!" He'd tear Itachit to pieces slowly and savor his agonized screams as he did so. Karin's words meant nothing to him at this point as he attacks Itachi again and again.

He'd avenge their coven. Itachi would be sent to Hell and their family could finally rest in peace!

"Not so fast." That's when Sasuke feels grass wrap around his feet. "I think that it's time for you to take a nice little nap." It was the damn wood nymph.

Sasuke tries to free himself from the grass and manages to just before the strange looking being managed to sock him. "You're such a coward, Itachi." He spits at him in disgust. "Now, you have a Flower Boy fighting your battles for you?"

There was also a werewolf who was literally tearing Orochimaru's followers' heads off. Sasuke wasn't exaggerating. He could see at least six scattered across the battlefield and probably twice as many limbs.

"Die!" The werewolf was somehow able to talk in his wolf form. "That's what you get for challenging me!"

Sasuke wouldn't mourn them, but his brother was traveling with freaks. Of course, he should have seen that coming. It didn't matter though. Itachi would be dead soon.

"I think your friend has the right idea." Sasuke smirks at Itachi. "Though it will be you who dies today." A red head sends a puppet flying at him and Sasuke barely has time to dodge.

"Everything will be as it should." He narrows his eyes. "Resisting us is only going to make things worse for you in the long run."

Pft. Like he was going to listen to these sick bastards. Sasuke was going to end them all!

"DIE!" He snarls as he charges towards them with his fangs bared.

He didn't get far though. Soon he was wrapped up in something large and fluffy? That didn't make any sense though.

"It's alright." Fluffy, soft, silky, and warm. "We've got you." It took Sasuke a moment to realize that he was being 'tied up' in luxurious tails. "Just drink this and you'll feel better."

Sasuke was about to say something to that, but that's when he smells blood. Delicious blood. He'd never smelled anything so good in his entire life and it had him practically salivating before it was shoved into his mouth.

A kitsune was feeding him blood. Sasuke should be killing Itachi, but he was restrained and this golden fox was feeding him amazing blood. Instinct was taking over and so Sasuke fed. Well at least until everything went black.

Naruto sighs and shakes his head. "Let's get out of here." He hated having to knock out the vampire hottie, but it was the only way to keep him safe. "You've all got a lot of explaining to do when he wakes up because I am not having his sexy ass hate me."

The others simply nod and they make a fast retreat. It was tempting to just blow up Orochimaru's place, but they had far more important things to do. Like taking care of Sasuke.

A few minutes later, Sasori creates a portal. "I just didn't want them to sense it." Ah. That made sense. "Come on. This will take us back to the castle and we'll take him back to Kakashi, after we're sure that he's alright."

The castle that they were apparently all staying in. That sounded good to Naruto. "Is there a dungeon in the castle?" Because that could be fun, he thinks to himself as he carries Sasuke through the portal.

The thought of Sasuke in a dungeon with him definitely had possibilities. Of course, that was assuming the gorgeous vampire ever forgave him for being sneaky. He'd just have to be persuasive though.

"Of course, there's a fucking dungeon in the castle." Hidan smirks at him. "We have all sorts of fun there." Hmm. Maybe, he should stick around for awhile.

These people appreciated the importance of dungeons and presumably Sasuke might be with them for the immediate future. Though he wasn't sure why Itachi wanted his brother to think he'd murdered his family, Sasuke was probably going to figure out the truth anyway.

"Sounds good." Naruto smirks as he steps through the other side of the portal and ends up in what looked like a living room of sorts. "So where should I put him? I don't want him to bolt or anything."

Itachi shakes his head. "Come with me." He smiles at him. "We have plenty of guest rooms here. I would stay with him, but that would only make the situation worse."

Great. Naruto liked where this was going as the other Akatsuki members followed him. He'd heard of these guys, now that he thought about it.

The Akatsuki were known throughout the world. They were some serious badasses. Not as badass as him, but still up there.

"Well, I don't mind watching him." Naruto grins at Itachi.

Itachi glances at Konan. "Go with him." He sighs and shakes his head dramatically. "I'd rather not have my brother waking and having to deal with a frisky fox."

Hey! What was wrong with that? Naruto always made sure that his lovers enjoyed being with him. He was a kitsune and his species had a reputation to protect as being exceptional lovers.

"Alright." She smiles and kisses the genie. "I'll see you soon, My Love." With that being said, Naruto sighs as he walks off with the angel and Sasuke.

It wasn't all bad though. He still had a gorgeous vampire in his arms. He'd end up frisking Sasuke sooner or later. Whether Itachi Uchiha liked it or not.