"Reno..." the red head's eyes fluttered open. The light seemed extra bright and painful so he shut his eyes again.

"Who's there?" his voice was hoarse and his throat raw.

"Reno it's me, Rude, open your eyes."

"Hurts." He mumbled but his hand reached up to his head. He felt Rude grab his wrist to stop him.

"You hit your head pretty bad partner, don't touch."

Reno tried to remember and images of the boy, the doctor's office and the floor coming up to smack him all rushed through his memory. He opened his eyes suddenly and took in Rude's face.

"What's wrong?" Rude asked when he saw the panic there. Reno saw no sign in Rude, however, that he was aware of his true condition.

"Uhh...what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Reno shook his head.

"Well, according to the doctor, you stumbled in here with some kid in your arms and then collapsed yourself. Said you had a concussion, must be pretty bad if you don't even remember."

"Yeah..." Reno breathed, "I don't know what happened." His eyes strayed around the room and he saw he was in his own bed.

"The doctor said you were okay to be released since you live in the mansion and he can just come check on you later."

"Oh good..."

"Reno, you okay?"

"Yeah partner, just got a bad headache."

"Yeah, why don't you rest now, okay?"

Reno met Rude's eyes for a minute and was almost sure he saw his partner flinch. He wasn't sure what was reflecting back out of his own eyes but if it was a monochrome of what he felt inside it would make anyone want to turn away. He tried to give a reassuring smile but his eyes suddenly seemed very heavy and he was all to happy to let them close and shut out reality.

Reno woke violently at some point in the night. The room was dark, he could hardly see but his stomach told him it wasn't about to wait very long for him. He lurched off the bed, stumbling but shot to the bathroom, half hearing a startled voice call after him.

He didn't manage to shut the door before falling onto the toilet and hurling out his guts. The heave shook his whole body and he felt the burn of acid all along his throat. He hadn't eaten in a while so all that came out was the sick, neon yellow bile that only became visible when Rude switched on the light behind him.

"Reno." his partner knelt next to him in concern, putting a hand on his trembling, naked shoulder. "Should I call the doctor?"

Reno couldn't stop the painful heaving to respond so Rude took that as his answer and pulled out his cell, phoning down to the clinic. After some time, Reno fell away from the toilet exhausted, letting Rude catch and hold him in his warm arms.

"You sick again or is it the concussion?" Rude asked, knowing well how a much a concussion could make you sick.

Reno tried to rasp out an answer past his swollen throat but couldn't and ended up weakly shrugging, eyes closed and completely limp against his partner.

"It's okay, Reno, the doc's coming anyway, he'll know."

Rude was a bit taken aback when the doctor ordered him to leave the room, mumbling something about patient confidentiality.

Reno lay unmoving in his bed where Rude had deposited him. The doctor sat on the edge and looked into his barely focussed eyes.

"What am I supposed to do with you?" He sighed. "You don't have a concussion, just enough of a bruise to convince them."

"What happened to the boy?" Reno asked, voice void of emotion.

"He's alive."

"Doc."

"I had to amputate. The boss is asking why you brought him back, but I passed it off with your head injury. You need to take your pills. Then you need to walk down to the psychologist and get help."

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can Reno, you just have to–"

The Turk sat up abruptly and staggered to the bathroom. At first the doctor thought he was going to be sick but instead the red head reached for the forgotten bottle on the floor.

"Good, I would suggest taking a double dose this time–" but when Reno cracked it open he held the bottle over the toilet and let the pills spill in. "Reno, what are you doing?"

"I can't do this." Reno repeated, hitting the flush and watching the white capsules disappear in the whirlpool. "I can't keep popping pills to block this off. This is what I deserve. I can't take back what I did but I can at least not turn my back on it."

"Reno, you need serious help."

"Get out."

"Reno, listen to me–"

"Leave it, Doc. Go."

Reno didn't get angry, but when he turned and met the doctor's eye, the other saw there was no point.

"Stay in bed. I'll check on you in a few hours." Reno said nothing just stood still while the doctor left. Rude entered after, surprised to see Reno standing.

"Were you sick again?" He asked, the toilet bowl still filling.

"Yeah." Reno said simply. "He just said I need to rest."

"Is it the flu again or your head?"

"My head. He says its all my head."

It was raining. The streets were practically flooded, mud and sludge from the slums poured in thick streams down alleys and broken roadways. It was one of the worst rainstorms Midgar had ever known. Reno pulled his foot out of the viscous goop that had pooled around it while he'd been standing still and looked around himself.

"Where am I?" he asked aloud. He was just becoming aware of how incredibly cold he was, his whole body shaking, soaked to the bone and his fingers and toes numb. The freezing cold water stung his face and eyes but he remained where he was still trying to figure out how he'd gotten here. Last thing he remembered was falling asleep in his own bed...

No. That wasn't right. He had fallen asleep but only for a few minutes. He'd woken as soon as Rude shut the door and then he'd gone to see the boy.

The boy had thanked him. The boy had cried about his arm. Reno had cried. And then he'd run. And then nothing. How long had he been standing here?

"You have a lot of nerve showing up down here. What are you doing? You've been there for hours."

Reno slowly turned to the voice. It was hard to hear let alone see in the torrential downpour but there was no one else on the streets in this weather.

Cloud Strife. It hadn't taken long for the rain to soak through his clothes either, his modified soldier gear hanging heavily on his frame. Reno didn't move as he approached. The last time he'd seen the blond they'd been trying to kill each other but he didn't resist even when a gloved hand wrapped into the soggy fabric of his collar and pushed him into the cement wall behind him.

"I said, what are you up to?" Reno just stared back at him and Cloud took it for defiance. He shook him hard, Reno's head struck the cement unforgivingly but still he couldn't find the words. The mere presence of Cloud was making him shut down again. Bringing back those terrible memories.

"This isn't how I normally operate, but last time I didn't kill you all those people died! You tell me what the Hell you're doing or I swear I'll kill you."

"Do it." Again, in the thundering rain, in his rage and apprehension, Cloud mistook Reno's despair for Turk cockiness and ploughed his fist into his face. He kept going, throwing Reno into the sludge trough that was supposed to be a street. He didn't let him crawl away. One punch, two, four, ten, then Reno fell back against the same wall where he was flung and Cloud finally stopped to breath, watching the Turk slide down the cement until he was seated. Blood poured down his chin from his nose, his mouth, his cheeks. He held his stomach painfully but none of this seemed to be what was registering with Reno. His head leaned to one side, staring in the direction of the Seventh Sector, though it was no where near visible from here.

Cloud came up to him again but this time he was more calm. He stood over Reno, waiting for something, an explanation, anything but when the Turk finally did turn back to him, his shoulders began to shake and Cloud could just make out the sound of his desperate sobs. There was no way to see the tears among the onslaught of rain but the swordsman could see them in every way that counted. He knelt before his enemy and forced his head back, forced him to make eye contact.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." Reno gasped. "I don't know how I got here."

"You've just been standing there. I spotted you four hours ago, I was sure you were up to something but..."

"Why didn't you kill me?"

"I wasn't going to kill you, I just wanted to know what you were up to."

"No. I mean that day. Why didn't you kill me? Why did I have to win..." his sobbing subsided but the hand that had been on his stomach raised to his chest, fisting into the translucent white shirt now stained with mud and blood. "Oh God, why?" He choked. Cloud sat watching him, stunned. "WHY!" Reno banged his head back against the concrete and his whole body convulsed before new sobs wracked him so acutely he couldn't talk any more, he even seemed struggling to breath.

"Reno." Cloud spoke too softly to be heard but his breath had been stolen as well. A lot had happened to him since the plate dropped, he'd just gotten his own life back together and he should hate the Turk before him but instead he felt horribly torn inside.

He had never thought of the Turks as even having consciences, let alone a mental break down over carrying out orders. He'd only pictured the moment he would face off with Reno and the Turks again and they would be as cold hearted and evil as ever. He had forgotten they were people, they were mercenaries, and though he could never excuse, never forgive Reno for what he'd done, the man had been carrying out orders. He hadn't considered his actions until it was too late. He wasn't a monster, he was human, and Cloud had just beat him up while he couldn't even defend himself. He sighed when Reno when limp, having hyperventilated too much or succumbed to the several blows to his head he didn't know, but he knew if he left him lying here in the street he would be no better than the people he hated.

Leaning forward, he pulled Reno against him and stood, and made the trek through the deserted, drenched streets with his enemy in his arms.

Let me know what you think so far, thanks!

Riza.