The Dementor's Kiss

Is this what drove him crazy?

This never ending emptiness that will NEVER be filled again?

Or was it the knowledge that we will feel this ever present ache for every second, of every day, for the rest of our lives?

I want to die.

I want to crumble to the floor and stop breathing; only now I won't even have the comfort of dying in his arms.

He was even further away from me now, in this cold white room under the watchful eyes of some paid nurse.

His ashes were long gone, spit and torn up by an unmerciful wind that wouldn't let even his remains stay in one whole piece.

He didn't have a funeral.

I never got to say good-bye.

Maybe he and I just simply weren't meant to be whole.

I breathe in and out slowly, deliberately.

The nurses' eyes are always fixed on my chest, constantly making sure I continue to breathe on my own, when we both know I'm just waiting for a moment to stop.

It hurts. It hurts so much; it's all I can do to continue to breathe this toxic air.

Why won't they let me die? They can see how miserable I am, unmoving in this corner with glazed eyes and a rattling breath. It hurts so much to breathe.

That's why I'm here. That's why my so-called 'friends' stuffed me away in this hospital, so that I can continue to breathe in and OUT…

I stop breathing for a moment.

The nurse fixes her wand on me.

I force myself to continue to breathe.

Every time I stop breathing, every time I try to die; they are there like sadistic whores, using spells to force my lungs to work. The only reason I keep breathing is because while it hurts to breathe, their magic on my skin literally burns.

Maybe I am going insane.

The nurses tell me it's been a year and that the world wants me back.

I want to tell them to go fuck themselves, but I can barely put up the energy to breathe, let alone talk.

They visit me sometimes, my once friends. They shuffle into the room awkwardly, staring at me with what I know to be horror.

I must look like death, which I guess is appropriate considering the circumstances.

The fact that my heart is tiredly pumping, or that my lungs swell with oxygen, fools no one. Or at least, it doesn't fool me.

I am soulless. My soul, the soul I should've sheltered, is torn and waving in the air like a useless flag. I am no longer a horcrux. I killed the soul that I should've spent my life protecting.

I had failed.

…

The red-haired girl visits me quite often; I'm told she visits once a week, though I haven't cared enough to keep track of time. I don't know her name. I don't feel anything but apathy every time she looks at me with those brown eyes full of such shallow anguish.

She has never felt pain before, and the fact that she could look at me and feel as if she was suffering a terrible fate disgusted me to my shriveled up core.

She was revolting, and unpleasant. I hated her visits as much as I could in the almost catatonic state I had been forced into.

Despite this, the worst thing about her visits was that she insisted on talking to me.

One on one.

Alone.

She once described our meetings as 'intimate', and she told me every visit that she would wait for me to 'fix' myself.

"You're not eating Harry, you need to eat."

She never stopped talking. I wonder if she would stop if she was smart enough to know that I was never going to respond…

"Why won't you talk to me Harry? You love me; why do you do this to me?"

My hatred for her grew with every word she sprouted from that disgusting mouth.

"They have told me over and over why you are like… this, but it really is a good thing that he's gone Harry."

It grew and grew until I felt my stability twisting and bending spastically under the mindless insanity that wanted to consume me, and then destroy her.

"It's alright Harry; I know how… seductive and… manipulative V-Voldemort's soul can be."

My limp body tensed, my fingers clinched, and emotion burned through my eyes for the first time since I had woken up alive.

The red-head looked shocked, then hopeful, and then thrilled. She reached out and took my hand in her own, pressing my clinched fist to her cheek as she smiled at me in reassurance.

My skin burned.

My hand started to shake.

"Yes Harry, you're not alone! Remember back when I was possessed by the diary? I felt his soul in me too, but it's okay Harry! You're better off without it, trust me. His soul was a parasite; an evil that I am so glad is gone now!"

She smiled that relieved smile at me, caressing my wrist with fingers of fire.

"We can be 'whole' together Harry,"

So she knew what it felt like to have her soul ripped in two? She had felt the pain of her own horcrux being stolen from where it should have been nestled, safe, forever? She had felt the emptiness of only having half a soul when the rest of it was gone, forever? She knew what it was like to feel that relentless unraveling pain in every cell of her body?

"You know nothing..." I forced out of frozen lips.

My whole body had been numb for so long with only the pain as company… it felt so strange to feel these emotions… they felt so new in my body. I felt empowered by them, and I used my new-found strength to rip my hand from her.

It had been so long since someone had touched me; I had almost forgotten how much it scorched my skin.

Something cruel and wicked settled in my stomach as I stared at the red-head in front of me. She looked at me in hurt and confusion, reaching out for me once more, before stopping when I recoiled.

How dare she touch me and act as if she knew my pain.

Oh, I felt dizzy with these emotions. They possessed me in a way he once did so long ago, overpowering me until all I knew was madness.

Tilting my head slightly, I felt my lips crack as they split my gaunt face into a demonic smile.

"You want to be 'whole' with me?"

"Of course I do Harry!" The silly girl had the gall to look determined as she crossed her arms indignantly, though she beamed at me in pride; practically sparking in bliss as she looked at me.

My chuckle sounded more like the nails on a chalkboard until it bloomed into a laugh so reminiscent of him it made my constant ache worse.

Stopping abruptly, I was on my feet before she could blink, clinging to the wall to support my thin limbs. She rushed forward to help me, but I grabbed her arms with bruising fingers as my eyes bore into her, reflecting all the madness and agony I felt deep inside my core.

I heard her swallow loudly and watched her open her mouth to call for help, but all that came out was a surprised squeak.

I never initiated contact. I hated contact. Everyone burned me except for him, but his soothing balm was long gone.

Maybe we were both destined from birth to become insane with emptiness…

I wasn't really doing anything wrong… this was just part of my nature…

My soul was torn and dirty inside me; twisted into desperation by the constant loneliness and pain I felt. It was almost like I wasn't in control of my actions; my soul cried out for justice and for some form of relief from this never ending nightmare.

And seeing her standing there all doe eyed and whole, made me want to rip her to shreds.

Why couldn't I be whole? Wasn't I just as deserving, if not more? What gave her the right to be complete? I spent my entire life being buttered up to be a sacrificial lamb; I tore out a piece of my own soul god damn it! All for people like her.

They didn't deserve to live.

They didn't deserve to be whole.

I felt my soul scream in bitter agreement.

She didn't deserve to be full, she didn't deserve her magic, and she didn't deserve her very own soul.

Inspiration made me open my mouth and force her own to open an inch from mine with unrelenting fingers.

Instinct commanded my magic from my eager core into my breath.

And resentment allowed me to feel pleasure as I watched her skin grow grey as a golden light left her mouth and traveled into mine.

I breathed in greedily as my core drank in her soul with impatience, absently tossing away her body. Her soul felt blindingly bright and so… superficial. I grimaced at its disgusting 'taste'.

But as it, the madness that had overtaken me loosened its overwhelming grip. It was not gone by any means, but it seemed to be pacified for the moment. Her disgusting soul would never fill me the way I craved, and I KNEW that. Her soul was pathetic; not even her ENTIRE soul could compare to the small sliver I had once housed.

My ache pulsed almost sadistically, reminding me of how whole I had once been; it was a sick and maybe masochistic comfort, but it was at least something to hold on to.

Maybe this was why dementors were so eager to devour souls. Maybe they were cursed to forever be empty… just like me.

Everyone walked around so ignorantly, no one appreciated the fact that they were born whole.

They deserved to be like this insignificant red-head. They deserved to have their souls sucked out.

And it was not just her soul I had taken.

I felt magic dance under my skin with readiness to be used, and I watched curiously as my skin took on a rather interesting glow.

I smiled a small, true smile as I slid back down to the floor, curling contently in my corner.

I stared at the ceiling with satisfaction; I even began to hum slightly as I slumped against the wall.

The nurses came in a few minutes later, some of them burst into screaming as they rushed to the red-head's side.

"She's still breathing!"

Within a few minutes they had her wheeled away on a cot, her eyes staring up and up and up; without any reaction to her surroundings.

"What did you do to her!" A nurse demanded, glaring down at me while she hid her shaking hands behind her back.

She did not try and touch me.

I peered up at her with innocence, for I was innocent; it wasn't as if I had done anything wrong.

But I smiled at her anyway, trying to show her how blameless I was.

She flinched.

Sighing, I went back to staring at the ceiling, smiling at it because it was as uninterested in that girl as I was.

"I just showed her what it is like to be empty."

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and this is simply how I thought Harry Potter should have ended.

I know I KNOW that I said that this was going to be a one-shot, but this story seriously just demanded to be written!

And it was all thanks to PoppiiD, who put the idea of continuing into my head- thank you Poppii! :)

As for Ginny's involvment, I want to give a shout out to autumngold, because the comment in their review inspired that particular scene! :)

And let's not forget ShiRaToRiMaRu and akinto and Gemini Peverell and noipasithea and of course someonewitheyes.

Thank you to everyone that reviewed, it meant a lot to me!

I hope you guys enjoyed the continuation, and I hope you are not too disappointed in it. I'm a little nervous about this chapter, because I liked the ending of the actual one-shot, and I'm hoping that this chapter doesn't feel like a run-on from it. If no one particularly likes this chapter I'll take it down, but I wanted to post it and see your opinions first.

Please let me know what you think! I crave opinions! And tell me if you have any questions, or if something wasn't clear! Thanks again! :)

:)