Rebecca walked slowly on the corridor of the BSAA building, she had tried her best to go to work that morning. Ever since that day Chris came back, she never had a chance to talk to him. She guessed it was better leaving him alone in the meantime.
She noticed the people passing her were giving her an apologetic look, she sighed inwardly.
The young brunette entered the office she shared with her two companions and her eyes went instantly to Jill's desk.
She frowned.
It was empty, she figured they had collected Jill's belongings and gave it to Chris or to any close relative. And there was Chris' desk too; his things were kept and untouched.
She frowned even more.
Oh, how she hated this. She put her things on her desk and decided to make her way to the Director's office.
She knocked first, announcing her presence before entering the room. There she saw Clive O' Brian, BSAA Director and one of the founders of this organization, talking to his phone. He gave her a small smile when he saw her enter. He ended the call and put his phone away.
"Rebecca," he greeted her, though exhaustion was apparent in his voice.
"I'm sorry sir, did I go in at the wrong time?" She was embarrassed for coming in just like that.
"No, no, please sit down." He assured her. He was always been kind and to Rebecca, he had become everyone's father figure.
"Thank you," she timidly sat down.
"So, I'm assuming you're here regarding Jill's case?" He saw her nod and then he continued, "Well, we are doing our best. I've sent a team to search for—" he paused, "–to search for Jill's body. Or anything we can find in that area. Unfortunately, we haven't found anything yet, but I assure you we will keep looking."
The older man seemed troubled now but he had to say it. "Though, I don't know for how long… You understand it right, Rebecca?"
She pursed her lips, of course, she knew that after a long time of fruitless search for Jill, they'd have to end the mission. They have other matters at hand to focus on and they can't afford to spend more of their resources on this search. But she ain't leaving her friend just like that.
"Sir, let me help with the search." She said firmly.
O'Brian sighed, he knew she'd suggest it. "I'm sorry, Rebecca, but I can't let you. Leave the rest to the team, besides, I have a more important task for you."
She was about to protest but O'Brian spoke again. "You see, I let Chris file for an indefinite leave. But we all know we can't just leave him like that. He needed someone to be there for him, and that someone is you, Rebecca."
Rebecca tightened her grip on her knee, she had been sitting stiffly. "I-I'm not sure if I can." It's true, she hadn't thought of anything to say to him if she ever is able to face him again.
"I know you can, Rebecca." He held her shoulder firmly. "You are the only one who can possibly aid him in this trying time. You were with him longer than all of us here. And you know he needed it."
She looked up to the older man now, he was putting too much faith on her, she worried she would mess it up. But she can't cower now, she'd never wanted to leave Chris on his own too and most importantly—
She owed it to Jill.
"I'll do my best, sir!" She said, more determined now.
"I know you will." He patted her back, encouraging her.
All those determinations and courage she showed O'Brien before seemed to have vanished when she stood in front of Chris' apartment door.
God, can she really do this? It has been a week since the incident and since she last saw Chris. Rebecca allowed at least a week to pass before she would go and see him. Chris needed some alone time, and her to gather all the courage she could muster.
Straightening herself, she checked the paper bag she's been holding one last time.
"Do or die," she whispered to herself, mentally praying.
She knocked.
No one answered.
She knocked again.
Silence.
She frowned now.
'Maybe he's out?' She thought to herself.
But she knocked again anyway, but this time, harder. The door flew open and she was met with a grumpy looking Chris.
"What?!" Chris hissed, but when he saw it was Rebecca he toned down a bit.
"C-Chris." She was too nervous that she sounded like a scared mouse when she said his name.
"Rebecca? What are you doing here?" He asked while rubbing the outline of his nose.
She gulped, "I brought you food?" Rebecca sounded uncertain.
Chris eyed her for a while. "You don't have to-"
"I insist!" she blurted out. She figured if she doesn't push her way, he'd be the one to push her away.
Chris sighed, he didn't want to be too harsh on her so he decided to let her be, just this once—he reminded himself.
"Come in." He invited her in, opening the door wider so she could come inside.
'Thank God that went well, I guess.'
She had just realized his place was too dark to see so she went and turned on the lights. This wasn't the first time she's been in his apartment so she knew her way around. The lights flickered first before completely illuminating the whole place. The sudden presence of light made Chris resentfully squint his eyes.
"Sorry, I just thought we could use a little light." She smiled at him apologetically but he didn't return the kind gesture. Instead, he just went back on his couch, grabbed his beer and plunged on it.
Rebecca looked around the place. The memories of them watching movies, drinking, playing games; just being here with the comfort of each other, with Jill, everything flashed through her. And right now, the place that contained all those memories was nothing but a mess.
Clothes scattered around the floor, unwashed plates, leftover pizzas on the counter, bottles of beer lying everywhere and cigarette butts overflowing on its tray, she sighed and stopped counting. It was usually neat and well kept, surprisingly for a big man like Chris, he liked to keep things clean and in order.
But it wasn't now, leaving all this mess around as if he didn't care anymore.
Rebecca studied him. Chris just seemed more tired now, she could see dark circles under his eyes and his once perfect 5 o' clock shadow had grown into a scruffy beard, giving him an unkempt and rugged look. Rebecca can see he was obviously under a lot of stress.
He just looked so miserable—way too different from the Chris she'd known.
Her eyes traveled down, he was shirtless and was only wearing a loose jogger pants. She would have been blushing madly right now if things were under different circumstances. She mentally slapped herself, now is not the time for admiration.
'For Chrissake Rebecca, the man is hurting.' She mentally scolded herself.
"I brought you food. I specifically ordered the ones you like… and some healthy ones." She started, shooing her obscene thoughts. She made her way to the coffee table to where Chris was seated and sat opposite to him. She took out the plastic containers from the paper bag and laid them on the table.
"Just… eat whatever you like." She sighed nervously, not meeting his eyes.
Chris looked at her, he could tell she was nervous. She didn't even want to meet his eyes. He wondered if she was forced to do this, by most likely, Clive O'Brian.
He sighed heavily and leaned forward, "I'm not hungry, Rebecca." He intended his voice to sound softer, but it came out raspy and he sounded displeased. She looked up at him, he could see her eyebrows knitting and her mouth tilting downward. She looked like she was about to cry.
He bit his lower lip, feeling guilty. "Look," he started again. "You don't have to do this okay? For all I know, you were only put up to this."
That's it.
She would have been thankful to him for being thoughtful considering everything he was going through but saying that she was only ordered to do this? Sure O'Brien talked her into this, but he has just merely given her support and confidence. The rest was her own will. It stirred an unpleasant feeling within her and before she could stop herself, she spat back at him.
"What makes you think I'm only doing this because I was only ordered to?!" she was having a hard time containing her emotions. She was angry at Chris, angry that it seemed she wasn't a friend good enough to be allowed to grieve with him, be with him in these dark times, to be enough.
And then she realized she was much angrier at herself, for being powerless. Rebecca at least wanted Chris to know that she would always be here for him.
"I am here because I'm your friend. I hate to see you like this Chris, drinking yourself to death!" she spat, pointing to the bottles lying around the floor.
He furrowed his brows, the last thing he needed right now was Rebecca's nagging. He didn't need this, he had a lot of things on his mind now and there was just no enough space for this shit.
"Well goddamit Rebecca, I don't need your fucking pity!" he shouted at her, "stick up your goddamn pity on someone else's ass!"
"You're being a jerk, you know." She angrily told him, suppressing her tears.
"Look at yourself, Chris Redfield. You look miserable! What would have Jill say if she sees you like this!?" With that, she stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.
Chris was left on his own again.
'What would she say?'
"Ha, doesn't matter." He drank from his beer, savoring the bitter taste of the liquid, bitter— just like what he's feeling now.
"She's gone."
A/N notes:
I hope this wasn't that lame. It's really hard for me to write heavy scenarios.
Criticize me(gently) or anything, help me improve! Or tell me what do you think about this story so far.