This chapter takes place between episodes 19 (Klaus) and 20 (The Last Day) with a flashback to episode 15. Therefore, general spoilers. And Slash. Please review!
"You look so fine" he drawled. I laughed irreverently, having learned a long time ago not to take any compliment from him seriously. He used words the way most men used weapons. 'A turn of phrase' from Damon could rival any knife twist to the heart.
"Thanks" I replied in a mocking tone, "You are a fairly presentable specimen yourself." Standing shoulder to shoulder, admiring our half naked reflections in the large, full-length mirror, I had to agree that the Salvatore brothers made a fine impression. An advantage gained from becoming a vampire at the height of our physical prowess and appeal.
I captured my brothers' glance in the mirrored image and held his gaze. Those piercing blue eyes. That could see right through me and into my soul. It had always been like that. Even when we were alive. My older brother, always looking out for me. Always steering me clear of trouble while getting into plenty of his own.
Damon gave his familiar half smile, twisting up the right side of his lip. It was as if he could read my mind. Knew that I was thinking of long ago times. A memory grabbed me, pulling me back into the past. An over riding sense of déjà vu.
The two of us. Brothers, standing side by side, much as now. Dressed in suits, but in the style of an era long ended. In the middle of an evening of debauchery. Damon had pulled me in for a 'talk', as always, attempting to steer me from the destructive path I had taken upon becoming a vampire. Counseling me on the need for restraint. Urging me to put a halt to the mindless, ceaseless taking of human life.
Against his wishes, I had organized yet another evening parlor party. Where I was planning to take full advantage of the beautiful women who had clamored for the chance to attend a Salvatore soiree. My idea of being a solicitous host? Draining the life force from my guests.
Ignoring Damon's pleas, I had descended the wide staircase and entered the large drawing room, where the party was at its apex. The guests had been imbibing freely for hours, the liquor flowing, music playing, and lewd behavior ensuing.
I circled the room, biting necks, sucking forcefully on arteries until the young lady dropped dead in my arms, her heart still pumping, before moving quickly on to the next 'willing' victim. I remember Damon following me, compelling people to leave, pleading with me to stop. Finally, he snapped. He had yelled at me. Told me he was done with me, that he was leaving town. I begged him not to. Not to desert me. Not to leave me with my guilt.
Using his superior vampire strength and speed, he had forced me up the stairs into my bedroom. Away from the mindless killing. Tossing me roughly onto the bed, he was atop me before I could protest. Pinning my arms above my head, he leaned over me, using the weight of his upper body to hold my arms and upper body still. Gradually, I stopped struggling, ceased my leg and hip bucking as my attempts to dislodge him from his seated position proved futile.
I settled for glaring up at his scowling face. I could still taste the metallic, liquor scented blood in my mouth. Knew that my lips and chin were stained as if I'd bitten into a large, over ripe plum. Studying Damon's murderous expression, I deliberately and slowly ran my tongue over my lips. Seductively, suggestively. Not really sure what I was trying to do. Perhaps I just wanted to piss him off.
He snarled, fangs descending, eyes darkened. "Ha" I laughed derisively, "Your anger is always so close to the surface, brother. You'd love to hurt me. Kill me even. Your fake concern for my well-being is so transparent. What do you care what I do? If I'm hunted down by the town's people? Staked? Then you'd be rid of me. Your revenge would be complete."
Damon's face rearranged itself. His features returned to the beauty that was my beloved older brother. He shook his head slowly from side to side. "Stefan. This is no way to go about eternity. Eternity. Do you get it? We are going to be here for an eternity. That is forever. We will be on this earth forever. And we can't survive by living like this. Ripping open the throats of every young person just because you envy them their humanness. We have to find another way."
He released one of my trapped hands. Slowly drew the back of his hand along the length of my outstretched arm. Reaching my shoulder, he briefly squeezed before lightly placing his fingers alongside my neck. Bending down, he whispered, "It's true. I would love to feel a pulse pushing against my hand. I wish your lips and chin were stained with strawberry juice from a picnic in the woods. I would give anything to place my head on your chest and listen to my beloved brother's heartbeat. To lie with you and to fall asleep knowing that tomorrow we would wake up alive and happy. To discover all of this was just a bad dream."
Pulling my shirt over my head, he gently lowered us back onto the sheets, resting his head in profile against my chest. I could feel his eyelashes flutter as he slowly closed his eyes. My arms wrapped around him, holding him close. We lay like that for a long time. The noises in the house gradual dimmed, faded, as guests left taking their laughter and drunkenness out into the night. Back to their mortal world. Silence prevailed.
And then. Damon's fingers on my lips. Stroking gently, tentatively. Before I could form a conscious thought, I had caught one of his long, slender fingers in my teeth, drawing it into my mouth. Closed my lips around it, sucking, my tongue circling. This drew a soft moan from Damon, a vibration I felt against my ribcage.
He turned his head slightly and began to place open-mouthed kisses along my cool flesh. Snaking his tongue out, he brushed against a sensitive peak. Involuntarily, my back arched, thrusting the entire nipple into his waiting mouth. "Oh my god" I groaned aloud. These sensations I had never experienced in life.
I tore his hand from my lips and forcefully placed it between my legs. There was no doubting the effect Damon had on me. Without pause, he encircled my erection through fabric and began to stroke. Slowly at first. Then, as my hips snapped to push myself further into his fist, he responded in kind. The rough material of my pants provided additional friction, serving to heighten the sensation of physical gratification.
I needed to kiss him. To taste him. "Damon" I begged. He answered by lifting his head, staring at me through the dark. Reacting to the longing in my eyes, he raised himself on extended elbow and bent down swiftly. His lips were hard, bruising. His tongue thrust into my mouth, demanding and urgent. The scent and taste of human blood and liquor mingled with Damon was overwhelming, intoxicating.
I gave myself over to him, his passion rising as he felt my body respond to his touch. Without being aware of how, we were naked, moving together, rocking into each other. I needed to be closer. I wanted forgiveness, to be granted clemency. I ached for him to love me again, to have the pain caused by my act of betrayal eased, soothed. "Fuck me" I demanded. And then begged. "Please Damon. I want you inside me."
He had hesitated. The expression on his face conflicted. Anger and hurt battling desire. I reached up to stroke his face. "Please Damon, I love you." Snarling, he jumped up. Grabbing his scattered clothing, he moved towards the door. Pausing, he glanced back at me lying open, vulnerable on the bed.
"I will always hate you for what you did to me. I will never forgive you, Stefan. Never." He closed the door softly behind him. As I lay there for hours, wanting him desperately to return, I overheard him downstairs speaking to Lexi. Asking her to help me. And then he had left. For a very long time I was without my brother.
Damon bumped my shoulder with his, pulling me back to the present. "Where'd you go, little brother?" he asked in a gentler tone than was his norm. I shook my head quickly side to side, trying to clear the ghosts of yesterdays. "Nowhere, big brother. I'm right here."
"Well" he replied, all his attention back on the issue at hand, "What's the plan then, oh-wise-one? How are we going to save Elena? And kill a wannabe were-vamp in the process?"