Dawn of the Personality-Challenged Power Rangers

By Holly-Batali

Disclaimer: We do not own Power Rangers, SPD, musical theatre, sitcoms, Mexico, Goths (in all forms and terms), tree-huggers, germ phobia, Lysol (and other various cleaning products), or Puff the Magic Dragon. However, we do own Puffers the not-so-magical-as-much-as-polyester-fiber dragon.

Chapter 2: Role Play

I was starting to get really scared of being within a half-mile radius of Sky. Every time he came into our room, he'd be singing some Broadway musical or another, and it was really pretty scary as far as Sky goes. Heck, we'd even had Dr. Felix take a look at him, but he hadn't come up with anything.

I was sitting on my bed tossing around my SPD handbook when Sky came in, dressed in a violently colorful theatrical costume singing—at the top of his lungs—"SLIGHTLY LESS FOR PEOPLE WE DON'T LIKE, AND A LITTLE BIT MORE FOR ME." I cringed as he turned to me and swept off his hat. "Halloo my good fellow. How are you today? I do hope you're well. Things have been quiet lately, haven't they?"

"Yes," I agreed in a squeaky tone. "Yeah, Sky…" He cut me off.

"No no no. Please, I implore thee, call me Sir Lancelot." I blinked a few times. "I'm in character," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Oh," I said, as though this were quite obvious now, and it made all the sense in the world. "Well Sk—I mean, uh…Sir Lancelot, I'm just gonna go get some toast, 'kay?" And without even waiting for a reply, I ran off to the rec room, tripping over my own feet. I shuddered and walked over to the food machine. What is wrong with him? I thought, he's acting like he just drank a quart of melted margarine and pepto-bismal.

I got my toast and sat down on the couch next to Z, who was playing video games. "Hey Bridge."

"Hey Z."

Z must have noticed that I wasn't eating my toast, because she paused her game and turned to me. "What's up?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "Sky is acting like he drank a quart of melted margarine and pepto-bismal, and I just feel jumpy and weird. Something isn't right."

Z raised her eyebrows. "You think so, Sherlock?"

"Yeah, I do." I continued. "See, Sky doesn't like music. So the whole musical theater thing is totally idiosyncratic of him. I mean, he normally views himself as the ideal ranger; perfectly focused, on task and a brilliant cadet. He's a stickler for the rules, too. I mean--"

I was interrupted by Sky coming in singing, " I HAVE A DREAM, A SONG TO SING, TO HELP ME COPE WITH ANYTHING!" Z and I both cringed as Sky came and sat down on the couch between the two of us. "Come come my good fellows, why the long faces?" He laughed loudly and very fairy tale prince-ishly. I cringed again and Z's face contorted with repulsion. I guess she never liked fairy tales.

"Well, you know what they say," he said knowingly.

"Don't say it don't say it don't say it," Z and I chanted, our eyes closed. Just then, Syd and Jack walked in.

"Say what?" Syd asked curiously.

"NO!" Z and I screamed, eyes flying wide open. "RUN FOR IT!" We ran and vaulted head-first over the food counter, and not a moment too soon.

"ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIIIIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!"

"WHY SYD, WHY?!" Z was practically on the verge of tears, but then, I wasn't much better myself.

" SYDNEY, HOW COULD YOU?!" Z and I were squatted down and were both covering our ears, desperate to escape the evil that was Broadway.

"Hey, hey, hey," said Jack, coming in to break it up. "'Kay Sky, that's enough--"

"My name is Sir Lancelot, good sir, I am not this Sky that you speak of." he pulled out a sword from somewhere in his clunky armor. "En guard Monsieur!" He then proceeded to air duel an invisible foe, while Z and I peeked over the counter, looking like we were watching a tennis match, but where the tennis ball was going all over the place.

Jack looked away, toward the counter and sighed, then, to the wall, he said, "Honestly, what does a guy have to do around here to maintain some sanity?" Syd looked quizzically at him.

"Oooh," Z and I chorused, as Sir Sky slipped on the carpet and pretty much clothes-lined himself. "That's gotta hurt."

"All right," muttered Jack, still facing the wall. "I can see that we're going to need to take this up a notch." He walked over to Sky and, still diagonally facing the wall, grabbed him and threw him on the ground. "Now sit still and cool it Sky. Bridge, Z, help me hold him down. Syd, go get Doc Felix and DC." We all (except Syd, who was already running) dog-piled on Sky and held him down while he shrieked.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE ME AT ONCE YOU VILLAINS!"

"This is going to be a long day," I muttered to myself.